


One Year of Love

by spacedust719



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Divorce, Drinking, First Kiss, Friends With Benefits, M/M, POV Alternating, Reconciliation, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Strangers to Lovers, Timeline changes, roommates to lovers???, somewhat first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 100,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedust719/pseuds/spacedust719
Summary: Ben Hardy and Gwilym Lee met and fell for each other quickly. Ben is confused how they fell apart almost as quickly
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee
Comments: 444
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takes places March 2020

Ben can barely hear what the moderator is saying. All he can hear is his heartbeat and a slight ringing noise. He’s heard everything they are saying before, gone over all the details with his lawyer but feels like he should be paying better attention. 

He can’t believe it’s really come to this. He knows they rushed into the marriage but rushing into the divorce seems like a worse idea. He doesn’t know why Gwil never returned his phone calls. Gwil cheating on him. Well, that he understands even less. 

Ben takes a deep breath before glancing at Gwil sitting diagonally across the table. Ben doesn’t recognize the expression. It’s really a complete lack of emotion that makes Ben feel more distressed than he already is. Gwil is just staring at the wall to the side of Ben’s lawyers head. Ben looks back at his hands folded in his lap, unable to face this cold version of Gwil.

After a bit, his lawyer nudges him gently. The papers to sign are now sitting in front of Ben. He’s thankful that his lawyer points to the spot he’s supposed to sign. He can barely make out the page as his eyes start to fill with tears. Ben coughs and picks up his pen. He grinds his teeth together to keep from crying out as he signs his name. His eyes flick up to Gwil once more. Gwil’s now looking out the window, completely away from Ben. 

Gwil’s lawyer slides the papers away from Ben and over to Gwil. Ben has to close his eyes, unable to watch. A hot tear slides down his cheek.

Ben leans over to his lawyer, speaking very quietly, “can I go now?” His lawyer nods and Ben immediately gets out of the chair and leaves.

Ben tries to avoid running down the hallway as he looks for a place to cry. He spots a bathroom down the hall. 

As Ben starts to push open the door to one of the stalls, he feels a hand gripping above his elbow. He turns around to see a confused looking Gwil.

“Why are you crying?”

Ben scoffs. What a stupid fucking question. Ben can’t decide how he wants to respond. Should he say because some of us aren't robots? Or he’s crying because he’s so incredibly hurt by Gwil? He settles for the simplest answer, “because I still love you.”

Gwil takes a step back from Ben, looking surprised. Was that hope that crossed his face? Gwil covers his mouth with his hands, shifting his weight. Gwil takes his hands away, “you do?” Ben can't help but notice how shocked Gwil sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This servers as a teaser/epilogue for the story
> 
> I will adjust the rating and tags as the story progress
> 
> I am also basing the divorce moderator and two lawyers on how you can get divorced in America.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating applies for this chapter
> 
> Takes place approximately early August 2017

Ben is supposed to be celebrating. Instead he’s the most sober of the group. Not that Ben needs to be drunk to have fun or really celebrate, but his friends seem to be intoxicated either by alcohol or the company of others they’ve met at the club. Whereas he just feels almost bored.

Ben starts a new acting job in a few days and this night was sort of a little last hurrah before he’s busy for the next 6 or so months. Ben has danced with a couple of guys, but couldn’t find a rhythm with them. He came to stand with his friend Andy at a table when the previous song ended. 

They’ve been chatting for a while, both nursing their drinks, when Andy interrupts Ben’s story.

Andy smiles, “Jonesy,” Ben stops talking. “9 o’clock”, he says as his eyes dart to look to his left, “you’ve got an admirer.”

Ben takes a sip of his drink and tries to discreetly look to his right. He notices a tall brunette man suddenly turn his back to them. Ben smiles and turns back to Andy, “apparently he’s shy.” 

Andy gets a phone call from his girlfriend so he excuses himself so he can hear her better. Ben goes back to the dance floor close to their other friends. He turns to look where the tall man was before. Ben smiles when he doesn’t turn away that time. Ben beckons him out to the dance floor. The man points to himself for confirmation. Ben bites his lip and nods. 

Ben expected a little more grace based on how the tall man walked up to him, but his dance skills are decidedly dorky. Not that Ben is great at it himself. Ben actually finds it incredibly charming. Ben smiles and changes his style to match that of his new partner. Ben realizes it's much more fun than he was having trying to look cool and smooth before. Somehow, he feels really comfortable about this man who’s name he doesn’t even know.

After a few songs, Ben wants to know more about the man he’s been dancing with so he grabs his wrist and leads him to the back of the club. Possibly also see if they connect in other ways. He sees some booths that no one is in off to one side. Ben sits down in one and the man slides in beside him. 

Ben turns sideways to face him, “Hi.”

The man smiles, “Hello, I’m Gwil.”

“Ben.” Ben puts his arm on the back of the booth, partly behind Gwil, “who are you here with?”

“Friends,” Gwil says. He turns to look out into the club like he’s checking if they are looking for him. The booths are really too far away from the action of the club though.

Ben raises an eyebrow, “girlfriend?” Gwil shakes his head. Ben smiles, “boyfriend?”

”Male friends, but not a boyfriend.”

Ben lets his hand fall forward, ghosting along Gwil’s shoulder, “have you ever had a boyfriend?”

Gwil gaze drops from Ben’s eyes to his lips for a second, “no.”

Ben quickly licks his lips and smirks, “ever wanted a boyfriend?”

Gwil blushes and he ducks his head shyly as he nods.

Ben scoots closer to Gwil and pushes some of the sweaty hair off Gwil’s forehead, “what brings you out tonight?”

Gwil turns to face Ben more, “stag night.”

“Picking up chicks?” Ben asks slightly sarcastically.

Gwil reaches out and runs his hand over Ben’s thigh, “they might be. I’m good here.”

Ben puts the leg Gwil was just touching over Gwil’s lap as Gwil reaches behind Ben, wrapping his arm around his waist to finish pulling Ben onto his lap. Ben puts his arm around Gwil’s shoulder. He leans in to whisper. His lips close enough to barely feel Gwil’s ear, “have you ever done anything with a man?”

Gwil squeezes Ben’s hip, “stage kiss or two.”

Ben smiles and watches Gwil’s face as he asks, “do you want to?”

Instead of answering Gwil tilts his head and leans into to kiss Ben. 

Ben makes a surprised noise against Gwil’s mouth before cupping Gwil’s face. Gwil holds onto Ben’s wrist as their mouths move against each other. 

Ben pulls back to kiss along Gwil’s jaw. Ben sucks along his neck. Gwil moans softly. Ben starts to feel Gwil’s cock swelling below him. 

Ben takes his arm from behind Gwil to rub his fingers along the waist of Gwil’s jeans, “is this alright?”

Gwil turns his face to look at Ben, “yes. Please.” He pulls Ben into another kiss, breaking it momentarily to moan when Ben wraps his fingers around his cock.

Ben rubs his thumb over the head of Gwil’s cock, spreading the precum around before he begins to stroke him. 

Ben pulls Gwil back into another kiss with the hand not working up and down his shaft.

Gwil’s head falls back with pleasure when Ben increases his pace. 

Ben chuckles. He kisses Gwil’s neck, “you could be a little more discreet there”

Gwil pulls Ben into a passionate kiss, not breaking it until he spills over Ben’s hand.

Ben peppers kisses on Gwil’s face as Gwil catches his breath. 

Gwil rests his head against Ben’s. He smiles, “that is not what I was expecting to happen tonight.”

Ben kisses him, “hope that’s a good thing.” Gwil nods quickly. “Let’s get you to the bathroom to clean up.”

They run into Andy as they walk to the bathroom. 

Andy grabs Ben’s arm, “hey! I was looking for you.” Andy sees Gwil stop to wait for Ben and smiles, “sorry to interrupt whatever this is, but Dan’s ex is here so he wants to leave.”

Ben turns to Gwil but Gwil speaks before Ben can say anything, “go with your friends. Maybe we can meet up some other night. If you want.”

Ben smiles, “I would really like that.” Ben fishes his phone out of his pocket and hands it over to Gwil to put his number in.

Andy looks around Ben, “fair warning, he’s a shit texter. Don’t take offense.” 

Ben shrugs, “he’s not wrong but I’ll answer yours.” Ben winks at Gwil.

Gwil blushes and hands the phone back, “I look forward to it.” 

Gwil starts to walk off but Ben grabs his wrist and pulls him in for one last kiss, “I’ll call after work Monday.”

Gwil kisses Ben again before going to the bathroom.

Ben turns to face Andy. He looks at the smile on his face, “what?”

Andy smiles and shakes his head, “nothing. I didn’t say anything.” Andy pauses, “you’re going to call him?”

Ben bites his lip and looks over his shoulder towards were Gwil walked off, “I dunno man, something just feels different about him.”

++++++++

Ben doesn’t really know what to expect out of his new cast mates. Mostly because he doesn’t know who they are. He stopped asking after learning Rami Malek was playing Freddie Mercury. He’s watched Rami in a few episodes of Mr. Robot and thought he was incredible in it. Ben could feel himself getting nervous about working with just him that he didn’t inquire to who else was playing the fictional Queen. 

In some ways, he thinks he’s ready. He’s been practicing drumming non-stop for over a month. He’ll never been Roger Taylor good, but really who could? He feels better, more energetic, than he did going into X-men because he doesn’t need to be in insane shape. He can actually eat and drink a normal amount everyday. 

He’s watched enough footage of Queen, he thinks he noticed enough quirks of how Roger Taylor looks when he plays he can do that part. He feels nervous about portraying his personality when he knows Roger and Brian will be around some of the time. Ben is thankful they aren’t supposed to be there today. That might be a bit much.

Ben takes a deep breath outside the recording studio. Starting pre production at Abbey Road Studios isn’t really helping Ben’s nerves. The man sitting at a desk in the lobby directs him up the stairs to the correct room.

Ben recognizes a producer from his audition talking to the director he already knows. Ben then looks to the couch and about gasps. Ben bites his lip and walks over. He sits down and smiles at the man next to him. 

Gwil smiles back, talking quietly, “so I guess I know what time you’ll be off to call me.”

Ben chuckles, “yeah.” Ben looks around. No one else in the room is the right age to be playing a band member, “I take it you’re Brian May?”

“I am. You’re our Roger?” 

Ben nods, “I am.” They fall into conversation about how much they’ve been practicing their instruments and how much experience they already had. Ben feels bad slightly lying that he had a bit of experience when he really had none. Ben hadn’t felt guilty at all when he lied to the director to get the part and still doesn’t. Something about lying to Gwil though, Ben doesn’t like doing it. He wants to tell Gwil the truth now but it’d be too easy to replace him when nothing has been filmed. They haven’t even rehearsed together. That doesn’t start till tomorrow. 

Gwil smiles at the doorway when two more men walk in, the final two members of their “band”, Rami Malek and Joe Mazzello. He stands up to greet them, but quickly turns around to help Ben up, offering his hand.

Ben bites his lip and takes his hand. Gwil holds on to it a second too long while looking at Ben’s lips. He blushes and approaches Rami to introduce himself.

Ben shakes his head to clear it. He doesn’t want to get too distracted by his handsome costar before they even start. Ben slowly approaches them.

Gwil looks back to Ben, clearly having left room for him to join them. When Ben stands next to him, Gwil bumps him with his shoulder while smiling down at Ben. He isn’t sure why, but it immediately puts Ben at ease. 

They are all able to fall into conversation easily. That partially makes sense to Ben since Rami and Joe have known each other for so long. Ben thinks that will really help all their performance. 

Ben almost laughs when he notices Gwil blushing when Joe asks them if they’ve met. Ben has to bite his lip when Gwil’s voice breaks when he says once. He notices the instant relief on Gwil’s face when the producer calls them over.

Ben quickly grabs Gwil’s elbow to hold him back. Gwil turns, looking at Ben questioningly. 

Ben leans in to whisper, “we can keep how we met between us for now.”

Gwil smiles, “probably a good idea.” Gwil puts his arm around Ben’s shoulder and leads him over to the others so they can start. Ben barely knows Gwil, despite them having been intimate, but having him next to him really does make Ben less nervous. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> August 2017

Gwil is sitting in the car with Joe driving into the rehearsal space. The friend who Gwil is currently crashing with lives nearby the hotel Joe’s been put up in so they have been riding to and from rehearsals together. Rami is with them sometimes but he had to be in earlier than them today. 

This morning Joe is telling him all about his various nieces and nephews. One of the older ones had video called him in the middle of the night not really understanding time zones. 

As they walk into rehearsals, Joe grabs Gwil’s shoulder, “I’m a terrible friend. I forgot to ask you how last night went. How’d things go with the girlfriend?”

Gwil looks out the corner of his eye to where Ben is adjusting his drum set. Ben’s hands still for a moment. Gwil knows he heard. Gwil feels his cheeks get warm. He clears his throat, “we broke up. Broke up again? It’s for good this time. Not just a break. It should have happened months ago.”

Joe pulls him into a hug, “I know that’s what you’ve wanted but I’m still sorry.”

Gwil pats Joe’s back twice, “thanks, mate. Appreciate it.” They break apart. He tries discreetly looking towards Ben. He now has his back to Gwil. 

Gwil really hopes that Ben isn’t pissed at him and is just trying to get his drums prefect. He wants to run over and explain. That would just cause a scene. Ben didn’t seem to want to bring up that they hooked up at the club. If Gwil tries to speak to him about it now, everyone might discover that. 

Gwil has enjoyed the last few days getting to know Ben more. He’s discovering Ben’s a lot more than the hot confident man that picked him up at the club. Gwil knows he’s blushing thinking about how that evening went. Ben is kind, sweet, a little bit cheeky, and Gwil can tell how dedicated Ben is to getting his part right. Joe has had to practically drag him to lunch when Ben just wants to practice the drums instead of taking a break. 

Today when they break for lunch Ben excuses himself to go for a smoke. Gwil turns to go towards the bathroom, but follows Ben outside instead once everyone else is out of sight.

Gwil finds Ben leaning with his back against the alley wall about to light a cigarette. He pulls it away from his mouth when he sees Gwil. 

Gwil leans against the wall face Ben, “Ben, I know you heard Joe this morning...”

Ben interrupts him, “I get it.” He lights his cigarette, “I was an experiment or side piece or whatever.”

Gwil puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder, “that’s not it. At all.”

Ben blows out some smoke, “don’t worry about it.”

Gwil tries not to sigh. He doesn’t want Ben to be upset and can’t fully tell if he is. “Let me explain,” he says.

Ben turns to face Gwil full on, “are you ready for something else to happen between us?”

Gwil looks down at his feet, “probably not.”

Ben shrugs, “then let’s just be friends.”

Gwil thinks Ben looks like he actually means this. He still thinks he needs to explain how right kissing him felt. He wasn’t some experiment to him. Not at all. Part of why Gwil and his ex took a break a few months earlier was because he thought he might be bi. She said wanted him to make sure. If he was actually gay, she didn’t want to hold him back. Gwil just happened to be out when he met Ben, he wasn’t out searching for someone to test it with. He’d gone on a few dates with men over the months his ex and him were apart. He told her about the dates and she got mad. She didn’t think he’d actually go out with anyone, just that he would miss her and come running back after a bit. The guy he had been set up on a date with the week before he met Ben had gone fairly well. It even ended in a kiss. That kiss is what actually made Gwil decide he wanted to end things for good with his ex girlfriend. Gwil knew he should have broken up with her months before. She had become one of his closest friends though and wanted to put off hurting her. The kiss had been completely ordinary. Gwil didn’t feel anything. It also made him realize he didn’t really feel anything when he kissed his ex anymore. 

Kissing Ben though. That was far from ordinary. Their mouths molded together perfectly. Being touched anywhere by Ben gave him chills. He wanted more. He could be fine with just getting to know Ben more though, becoming his friend. Maybe if after they become friends and are done filming, he could ask Ben out on a proper date. 

Gwil smiles at Ben, “I’d love to be your friend.” Gwil paused, “I really want to explain though, Ben.”

Ben reaches up and puts his hand on Gwil’s chest, “it’s fine.”

“It’s not.” Gwil holds Ben’s hand that’s resting on him, “I didn’t use you.”

The faintest smile forms on Ben’s lips, “I believe you. We’re good.” Ben pulls his hand back, “do you want to wait with me to finish this?” Ben holds up the hand with the cigarette.

Gwil nods and leans his back against the wall, “just blow the smoke that way.” Gwil points away from himself.

Ben chuckles, “I can do that.” Ben takes another puff and starts laughing a bit more.

Gwil looks over at him, “what?”

Ben shakes his head, “just picturing what you’re going to look like in the wig.”

Gwil scoffs and laughs a bit, “cause I’m sure you’ll look amazing in 70’s hair.”

Ben smiles, “you’ll get a preview of your hair tomorrow.”

Gwil furrowed his brow, “what you do mean?”

“Roger and Brian are coming. Rami told me this morning.”

Gwil feels his heart beat faster. Ben must notice him looking suddenly nervous. He stubs out his cigarette and clasps Gwil’s shoulder.

“You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.” Ben smiles, “let’s go get some lunch.”

Gwil nods and follows Ben back inside.

++++++++

  
  


Gwil felt like a disaster. He kept doing clumsy things. When he was getting ready he dropped one of his contacts on the ground and then stepped on it in his semi blind state. He spilled his coffee on his first shirt and now has broken a string and they are only an hour into rehearsals. Shortly before they break for lunch, they are going to be met by Brian and Roger. Gwil can’t stop thinking about what he’s going to say to Brian. Everything he comes up with just sounds unimportant or like Gwil should already know.

He sat down to fix the string while Rami and Joe went to get some drinks for everyone. Ben sat down in the chair next to Gwil’s, scrolling through his phone as he waits for everyone else. 

Gwil finishes stringing the guitar and sets it down on his legs. Ben is still looking through his phone, seemingly not paying any attention to Gwil. 

Gwil can’t help looking over Ben’s handsome features. His hand tousled blond hair, bushy currently unruly eyebrows, and Gwil notices a freckle in the inner corner of Ben’s eye when turns to him.

Ben mouths “what?,” before smirking at Gwil.

Gwil blushes at getting caught staring. He is also tempted to kiss the smirk off his face. That doesn’t really seem like an option since they decided to just be friends. Ben starts to laugh a little and Gwil realizes he’s still staring but hasn’t answered. Gwil obviously points out, “you have a freckle.” Gwil points to the inner corner of his own eye.

Ben smiles, “yeah, I do.” Ben licks his lips, “are you still nervous about Brian?”

Gwil sighs, “yeah. Very nervous actually.”

Ben rests his hand on Gwil’s knee, “it will be fine. You’re perfect for Brian. If it goes awkwardly, which I doubt, we can go have a cry about it about afterwards.”

Gwil chuckles, “are you going to cry with me?”

Ben shrugs, “if it will help. Rami has met them. Remember he said they are excited to finally get the movie made?”

Gwil nods, “yeah. He did say that.”

Ben squeezes his knee, “so there. He’ll be excited to meet you.”

Gwil swallows hard, “thank you, Ben. How are you so calm about this?”

Ben laughs a little, “they are just going to be here for about 10 minutes. Joe can talk for that long without us having to even say anything.”

Gwil laughs loudly, “yeah, yeah. Good point.”

As if on queue, Joe comes back into the room. He takes in the two of them with their bodies turned towards each other and smiles side, “if you two are done making eyes at each other, we should look busy. Queen is on their way.”

Gwil lifts the guitar off his lap and stands up. He looks down and notices Ben is now watching him. Instead of getting embarrassed at being caught like Gwil was, Ben just winks at him. Gwil knows he’s now blushing even more than he was before. 

Ben ends up being completely right. Everything went fine, great actually. Brian came in and almost immediately pulled Gwil in for a hug. 

Brian pulled back from the hug and clapped Gwil on both shoulders, “well, you’re the right height, that’s for sure.” Brian looked down at the guitar, “guitar looks right too. Maybe next time, I’ll bring mine and we can play a bit.”

Gwil’s jaw drops a little, “that’d be brilliant.”

Brian smiles, “great. Oh, this is Roger.” Brian stepped to the side to introduce himself to Joe and then Ben. Roger did the same after him. 

They told them the four of them how pleased they were to find the 4 of them and were looking forward to spending more time with them. They took a couple of pictures before Brian and Roger exited to go to their own rehearsal as quickly as they arrived. 

Ben turns to Gwil as soon as Brian and Roger were out of side, “do you need to cry?”

Gwil laughed and shook his head, “I’m good.”

Ben smiles, “great. Maybe we’ll find something else to cry about later.”

Gwil laughs and took his place so they could start back up practicing for the Live Aid scene. Gwil turns around to take one more look at Ben. 

Ben catches Gwil looking right away. He smirks and points to the front of the room. Gwil blushes ducks his head.

Unbeknownst to Gwil, Ben watches him for a few moments longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started trying to make a moodboard for the story last night. Oh wow was it way too depressing


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating applies to this chapter.
> 
> Takes place late August 2017

Ben jogs to the door. Gwil is holding it open for him and he doesn’t want to make him wait too long. They spent their day in the recording studio with Brian and Roger coming by again. They spent most of the day with them this time. Ben takes in Gwil’s full appearance. Ben smiles at him as he passes. Gwil quickly falls into step beside Ben. 

Ben looked over at Gwil, speaking quietly, “answer a question for me.” Ben bit his lip, “did you dress up to meet Brian?”

Gwil blushes, “you dressed up to meet Roger.”

Ben smiles, trying not to laugh at how defensive Gwil sounds, “you look nice though. And I dressed cool to meet Roger.” 

Gwil laughs, “ahh I see. That’s why you have the sunglasses.”

“I have the sunglasses because I have light eyes and the sun is bright.” Ben pulls the sunglasses from his shirt collar and put them on despite the fact the sun is nearly set already.

Gwil smirks over at Ben, “so not a character thing.”

“Leave me alone.” Ben starts walking a little bit quicker.

Gwil laughs loudly and catches back up with Ben’s new pace. He puts his arm around Ben’s shoulders, “alright. That’s going to be hard since we’re both going to the same place.”

“Right.” Ben smiles over at Gwil so he knows he’s not really upset or anything. “Fair warning, based on how Joe was talking at lunch I think he intends to get us all drunk tonight since we have a late call time tomorrow.”

Gwil laughs, “it’s an hour later than usual.” Ben just shrugs. “We’ll have to out drink them, yeah? We’ve got our countries reputations to uphold.” They are now at the underground station so Gwil drops his arm from Ben’s shoulder.

Ben laughs, “I think I may just stay sober. Film you guys pissed.” Ben smirks, “who knows what you’ll do. You may end up hooking up with a stranger in a dark corner.”

Gwil blushes and looks down at the ground “I was sober when that happened.”

Ben is surprised, and a little bit happy if he really thinks about it. Their train is there so they get on. Ben takes a step closer to Gwil once the doors close, “I was basically sober too.”

Gwil smiles and seems to be having a hard time making eye contact with Ben. Ben can hardly hear him when, still facing towards the ground, he says, “I’m glad I wasn’t a drunken mistake.”

Ben reaches out and squeezes Gwil’s bicep, “you’d never be a mistake.” Gwil seems to shift his weight so he’s closer to Ben than before. Ben watches as Gwil looks over his face. Ben wants to pull him in to kiss him. Or maybe just stay on the tube a few more stops to take Gwil to his flat. During downtime at rehearsals, Ben’s thoughts have strayed to how Gwil’s lips felt against his. Ben never saw it, but he’s thought about how it would feel to have Gwil’s cock sliding into him. 

Ben takes a slight step back from Gwil. He definitely wants Gwil but doesn’t want to be having those thoughts about him. Ben doesn’t think anything else would actually happen between them. Though with the way Gwil is looking at him right now, Ben might be wrong.

++++++++

Joe has been determined that they are going to bond tonight. That bonding apparently requires a lot of alcohol. Ben’s eyes get huge and Joe comes back to their table with a tray of shots. Ben laughs and shakes his head at Joe.

Joe drums on the edge of the table then claps once, “alright, I’m going to ask everyone questions and if you don’t want to answer you have to take a shot.”

Gwil looks over at Ben and rolls his eyes. Ben chuckles, making Joe slap the table.

He points at Ben, “none of that. When was the last time you had sex? Rami, you’re up.” 

Rami doesn’t answer. He just sucks on his bottom lip as he picks up a shot glass and throws it back. 

Joe rolls his eyes, “boo! Gwil, what about you?”

Gwil looks at the table, scratching his beard, “about a year ago. Little over a year.”

Joe mumbles, “explains the break up.” Ben smacks him on the shoulder, “What?! Sorry dude.” He pats Gwil on the shoulder, “Ben, your turn.”

Ben squints, “what are you considering sex?”

Joe thinks about it for a moment, “when was the last time someone else touched your dick? Just touching counts.”

“Oh, ummm, 6 months ago?” Ben says, “no. it was 8.”

“Okay.” Joe is about to ask another question but then turns back to Ben, curious, “wait! When was the last time you touched someone’s dick?”

Ben takes a drink of his beer while trying to avoid looking at Gwil, “right before filming.”

Joe notices Gwil turning bright red though, “umm Gwil, is there something you’d like to share?” Gwil doesn’t answer, he just gets even redder. Joe continues his teasing, “was it Ben?”

Ben replies with a very sarcastic tone, “yeah Joe. We met in a club and I wanked him off in the back of the room.” Joe just rolls his eyes, obviously not believing the completely true store.

Gwil surprises Ben when he leans closer to Joe and mock whispers, “Ben’s a little confused how to shake hands.”

Joe cackles and Rami smirks over at Ben, “that’s not how.”

Ben shrugs, “I didn’t hear any complaints.” Ben checks that the others aren’t paying attention and he winks at Gwil.

Joe suddenly turns to Gwil and completely changes the subject, “have you tried sucking dick yet?”

“Really?” Gwil laughs and shakes his head, “no, I haven’t.”

“You probably should. Maybe tonight.” Joe looks excited, “do you want me to be your wingman?’

Gwil laughs at Joe’s sudden enthusiasm at helping him hook up, “I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

Joe completely ignores him and flat out points at a man at the bar, “look at that guy. What about him?”

Gwil discreetly looks over, “he’s alright.”

Ben looks as well, “he’s straight.” Ben does think the man is straight but selfishly doesn’t want to watch Gwil pick up a man in front of him.

Joe turns to him, “how do you know? He’s been looking over here. I think at Gwil.”

Ben suggests, “could it be that Gwil’s been on TV? Or that we are all actors he might know? He’s straight though. Trust me.”

Joe looks at the man again then back to Ben, “how do you know though?”

“I just usually do. I knew Gwil was bi. So are you.”

Joe shook his head, “am not. Your gaydar is off.” Ben rolls his eyes.

Rami laughs and smirks, “yes you are.”

“I…” Joe stammers a bit, “there… I have… there is a man or two I would.”

They all laugh at Joe. Ben claps him on the shoulder, “no one here cares.”

Gwil nudges Ben under the table with his foot to get his attention, “how did you know I was?”

Ben shrugs, “intuition.”

Gwil looks at him skeptically, “yeah, alright.”

Joe claps his hands, “let’s get a different type of personal. Who wants kids? Ben?”

Ben grimaces, “ask me again in at least 6 years, mate.”

Joe snorts and asks the others who both enjoyed having multiple siblings and think more than one would be good.

Joe continues asking them more questions but ends up drinking most of the shots himself. When Ben suggests they all head out, Joe is still quite tipsy and not ready to leave. Rami agrees to stay with him a little bit longer since he’s not tired yet himself.

Ben isn’t necessarily tired but all the sex questions have him a little riled up. All the personal questions are making Ben like Gwil even more. The combination is making Ben want to have sex with Gwil. Ben doesn’t want to hit on him though so he decided it was time to go home. 

They are silently standing on the tube platform waiting. Ben feels warm under the looks Gwil keeps giving him. Ben tries to turn away from him but Gwil speaks up.

“How did you really know?”

“Hmm?” Ben asks but quickly realizes he knows what Gwil is asking. “Oh. You were looking at me like you were picturing me naked.”

“Oh.” Gwil blushes and looks down. After a moment, he raises his head just enough to look at Ben again.

Ben smirks, “you are now too.”

Gwil bites the inside of his lip, “I’d be lying if I corrected you.”

Ben takes a deep breath, “do you want to?”

Gwil nods softly, “yes.”

Ben steps closer to Gwil, “as just friends or more? I can see myself dating you but I could also use a good shag. I’m good with either. I just want to know which you want up front?”

“I would like to date you.” Gwil looks up into Ben’s eyes, “I just don’t think.” Gwil just lets his words trail off.

“Not ready, I get it. So just friends?” Ben waits and tells himself he’s fine with just a friendly romp.

Gwil nods, “If you’d like to, so would I.”

Ben nods at the train that is just arriving, “come on then.”

Gwil points to the other side of the platform, “I’m closer.”

Ben smiles, “do you have lube?” Gwil shakes his head. Ben grabs his hand and pulls him along, “come on then.”

Ben unlocks the door to his flat and steps aside for Gwil to enter first. Ben follows after and toes off his shoes. Gwil leans down to take his shoes off and put them beside Ben’s. 

Ben walks deeper into his flat and sits down on the couch. Gwil looks around nervously before he sits down next to Ben. 

Ben smiles soft at him, “what do you want tonight?”

Gwil turns on the couch to face Ben, his cheeks pink, “I’ve never done any of this.”

“I know.” Ben licks his lips and smiles. “We’re friends. I’ve already been in your pants.” Ben smiles wider when Gwil blushes more, “tell me what you want and I’ll let you know if I’m okay with it.”

Gwil puts his arm on the back of the couch behind Ben, running his fingers against Ben’s shoulder, “I want to kiss you again.”

Ben raises an eyebrow, “that all?”

Gwil scoots closer to Ben, “I don’t know.”

Ben puts his hand on Gwil’s knee, “do you really not know or are you being shy?”

Gwil smiles a bit, “shy.”

Ben picks up the hand in Gwil’s lap, rubbing his thumb against Gwil’s palm, “I want to know what you want now so we don’t get caught up in the moment of things feeling good and go farther than you’re ready for.” Ben looks up at Gwil’s face. He looks calmer now. Gwil smiles at Ben. Ben moves closer to Gwil, “Do you want me to suck your dick, or do you want to suck mine per Joe’s suggestion?” Gwil rolls his eyes and Ben laughs, “do you want to have sex? I usually bottom, but if you want me to fuck you I will. Or you can fuck me?” Ben can’t help smiling when he notices the change in Gwil’s expression to something lusty when Ben says Gwil can fuck him. Gwil is biting his lip and his breathing seems heavier.

Gwil swallows hard and nods, “can I fuck you?”

“I’d really like that. I think that would be easier for your first time anyways.” Ben puts his hand on Gwil’s chest and leans in to speak next to his ear, “maybe I’ll fuck you some other time, just to see how you feel about that.”

Gwil nods quickly, “yeah, okay.”

Ben smiles and shifts so he’s face to face with Gwil, “would you like to go to my bedroom now?”

“Yes, please.”

Ben stands and holds out his hand for Gwil. He helps him stand up and leans him into his room. 

Ben takes out some lube and a condom and tosses them on the pillow before turning back to Gwil. 

He smiles when he turns to see Gwil standing there playing with the bottom edge of his shirt. Ben walks forward and puts one hand on Gwil’s hip, cupping his face with the other. Ben licks his lips and pulls Gwil into a kiss. 

It’s slow at first. When Ben runs his tongue against Gwil’s lip, Gwil readily opens his mouth to Ben and wraps his arms around Ben’s waist, pulling Ben tightly against him. Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. 

Ben steps back, bringing Gwil with him closer to the bed. The back of Ben’s legs the bed. Ben lightly pushes Gwil away from him a bit so he can reach down and pull off his own shirt. Ben chuckles when Gwil immediately crouches down to kiss at his chest. Ben cards his hand into Gwil’s hair.

Gwil hums and kisses up to Ben’s neck. Gwil kisses right below Ben’s ear, “may I take your trousers off?”

“Yes.” Ben holds Gwil’s face between his hands and pulls him back into a kiss. Gwil starts undoing Ben’s trousers and then his own as they kiss. Gwil breaks the kiss to take off his jumper and push down his jeans. 

Ben pushes down his trousers and crawls to the middle of the bed, laying on his back. He looks over at Gwil who is hesitating on the side of the bed with his thumbs in band of his boxers, “should I?”

“If you want or I will.” Ben smiles at Gwil. Gwil smiles back immediately. Ben pushes his boxer briefs down and kicks them off the end of the bed. Before he knows it, Gwil is on the bed hovering over him.

Ben laughs looking up at Gwil, “hi.”

“Hi.” Gwil blushes a bit. 

Ben pushes up and kisses him, wrapping his arm around Gwil’s shoulders to gently pull him down against him. Gwil rubs his thumb over Ben’s cheek as he kisses him deeper.

When Ben wraps his legs around Gwil, he moans and starts to rut against Ben. Ben can feel Gwil’s cock through his boxers. They continue to kiss and move against each other. Ben really wants Gwil inside him. 

Ben kisses Gwil’s neck, “do you want more yet?”

Gwil pushes himself up a bit, “what do I do next? I’ve watched porn. Do I eat you out before we have sex?”

Ben smiles and rubs his thumb over Gwil’s lips. He’s surprised when Gwil takes his thumb into his mouth, sucking on it. Ben feels even harder than he already was, “you don’t have to eat me out. Maybe save that for another time.” Ben mentaly chastises himself. He’s already getting ahead of himself that this could be an ongoing friends with benefits thing. Gwil might not even like having sex with him. “From what I remember, and can feel against me, you’re not exactly small.” Gwil blushes. Ben kisses him once. “I need to prep first. Like with fingers.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek, “can I try to do it?”

Ben smiles, “sure. If you want.” Gwil nods quickly so Ben hands him the lube.

Gwil puts some on one of his fingers and looks up at Ben, “tell me if I’m doing it wrong.”

Ben kisses him softly, “I doubt you will, but of course I will.” Ben spreads his legs more for Gwil.

Gwil slowly circles his finger around Ben’s hole. He looks up at Ben as he slides his finger in slowly.

Ben smiles at him and cups his face with one hand, “so far so good.”

Gwil starts to slowly pump his finger.

Ben licks his lips, “you can do another if you want.”

Gwil puts more lube on two of his fingers. He smiles when Ben moans softly they are pushed back in. 

Ben starts rocking his hips against Gwils fingers. “Feels lovely.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s stomach, “do I curl them?”

Ben smiles, “yes please.” He moans loudly when Gwil does just that. “God, Gwil. Right there.” Gwil continues to curl and pump his fingers in Ben. Ben starts panting. He shifts on the bed so he can spread his legs more, “more.”

Gwil smiles, “I’m glad you like it.” Gwil pulls his fingers out and puts a little more lube on three of them. Ben grips tightly on the bed sheets when Gwil presses three fingers inside him, immediately just were Ben wants him to.

“Fuck Gwil. How are you so good at this already?”

Gwil smiles brightly, “you aren’t just saying that, are you?”

Ben whimpers when Gwil curls his fingers again, “does it seem like I could lie about that right now?”

Gwil chuckles, “I guess not.” Gwil works his fingers in Ben for a few minutes longer, stretching him nicely.

Ben reaches down and holds Gwil’s wrist, “I need you.” He moans again. “Fuck me. Please.”

Gwil takes his fingers out of Ben. He pushes his boxers down, opens the condom, and rolls it on. Ben impatiently watches him do it. Ben taps the bottle of lube once Gwil has the condom on and Gwil rubs more of it over his covered cock. Gwil moves so he’s hovering over Ben again, positioned between his wide spread legs.

Gwil rubs the head of his cock over Ben and slowly pushes in, groaning loudly.

“Oh Ben…” Gwil rests his head on the pillow next to Ben’s and he slowly bottoms out.

Ben rubs his hand over Gwil’s back, “just take a moment. Take in how it feels.”

Gwil hums, “feels great.” Gwil kisses Ben’s neck, “so tight. You feel so good. I might not last long.”

Ben turns his head to kiss his cheek, “that’s perfectly fine.”

Gwil smiles, “I want you to enjoy it, though.”

Ben kisses him again, “I already do.”

“Good.” Gwil shifts so he’s more on top of Ben. He kisses Ben on the lips, pulls his hips back slightly and pushes back in. 

Ben moans softly and hooks his legs over Gwil’s hips.

Gwil slides in deeper, “fuck Ben.” He thrusts a few times, “you feel amazing.”

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, rocking his hips in time with Gwil’s. 

Gwil reaches down and puts a hand on each of Ben’s butt cheeks and spreads them apart wider so he can thrust even deeper. Gwil picks up his pace. Gwil moans with each thrust. 

Ben starts making a whimpering noise each time the head of Gwil’s cock rubs against him. 

Gwil has his head buried in Ben’s neck. He kisses it once, “I’m sorry Ben. I’m gonna come soon.”

“It’s okay…” Ben pants, “come in me. I want you to.”

Gwil grips Ben’s hips as he erracticaly thrusts a few more times. His grip tightens as he spills into the condom.

Gwil sits back on his heels, staying deep inside Ben. He takes Ben’s cock in his hand and starts to stroke him quickly. 

Gwil bites his lip, “this okay? You want me to use my mouth?”

“No.” Ben shakes his head. “‘M close. Make me come Gwil.”

Gwil starts to lean down to kiss Ben so Ben sits up a bit to make it easier. Ben only lasts about a minute longer with Gwil working him with his hand. Ben’s head falls back as he comes over his stomach and Gwil’s hand.

Gwil pulls out of Ben and falls on the bed next to him.

Ben curls onto his side to look at Gwil. He reaches out to brush his hand against his cheek, “you sure that was your first time?”

Gwil blushes and nods. He kisses Ben’s hand. 

Ben smiles, “need a shower?”

Gwil laughs, “I need a minute.”

Ben leans forward and kisses him, “alright.”

Gwil rolls on to his back. He blindly reaches for Ben. Ben laughs and curls up against him, laying his head on his chest. Gwil kisses the top of his head, “I’ll shower in a minute and leave.”

Ben frowns, “you can stay if you want.” He looks up at Gwil to try and read his expression.

Gwil smiles, “yeah?” Ben nods. “Good. I’d like that.”

Ben pushes up and kisses him. Gwil rubs his hand up and down Ben’s back, then comically falls back against the bed like he instantly fell asleep.

Ben laughs loudly and snuggles in against him again. 

Gwil hums, wrapping his arms around Ben, “I’ll shower in a minute. Maybe.”

Ben laughs, “if you get up to shower, we can sleep on fresh sheets.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s forehead, “will you shower with me?”

Ben looks up at Gwil. He taps his chin like he really needs to think about it, “I guess I can do that.”

Gwil rolls his eyes and pushes Ben off him. He gets up and walks into the bathroom. He calls over his shoulder, “if you don’t, I’ll just use all the hot water.”

“NO!” Ben quickly scrambles off the bed and follows Gwil, leaving the sheets until after.

Ben wakes up a couple hours after they’ve fallen asleep. He’s nestled in against Gwil’s chest. Gwil’s arms have relaxed since he fell asleep and are now just loosely around Ben. 

Ben pushes himself up and looks at Gwil. He smiles. Gwil is even handsome when he’s sleeping. 

He reaches out to push some hair back from Gwil’s forehead. He curls his fist shut right before he does, realizing that’s not a friends with benefits gesture. 

Ben moves out of Gwil’s arms and moves to the other side of the bed. He lays on his side, facing away from Gwil in what he admits to himself is a lame attempt to not catch feelings for Gwil.

It only lasts a moment though. Gwil quickly curls against Ben’s back and pulls him against his chest. 

Ben settles against Gwil and smiles, falling back asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh sweet Ben, you really think you can just be friends with benefits with Gwil?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating applies to this chapter

Gwil is sitting in the back seat of the car taking Joe and himself home at the end of the day silently looking out the window with his head resting on the glass. He thinks he should be more excited to have the next day off than he is. He’s enjoyed spending his days with Joe, Rami and Ben. Especially Ben. Not just because they slept together last week. He just feels a sense of comfort whenever Ben is around. Gwil is glad to have a friend like that. 

Having a friend that he just sleeps with though, Gwil isn’t entirely sure how to feel about that. Gwil has never tried just having sex with someone without involving feelings. He knows that people do it though. He never asked Ben if he had before but he seems fine with it. Ben mentioned them doing it again. Gwil honestly can’t wait for that. The sex with Ben was incredible. Gwil wasn’t sure what it would be like but it definitely exceeded his expectations. He can’t stop thinking about how Ben felt around him. 

Gwil’s thoughts are broken by Joe suddeningly slapping his thigh, “hey!” 

Gwil huffs a laugh, “ouch.”

Joe half smiles half grimaces, “you okay? I can’t tell what kind of mood you’re in today. You seem sad but then you’ll smile to yourself like something just popped into your brain. Like just now.”

Gwil realizes this has probably been happening when he thinks about Ben, even when Ben is right there in the room. Gwil bites the inside of his lip, “oh. Everything’s fine.”

Joe looks at him skeptically, “are you worried about your performance today? From my perspective, you seemed very May-ish.”

Gwil chuckles, “May-ish? Is that the technical term?”

“Yes.” Joe smiles, “As your elder and someone that’s been a professional actor longer, trust me. It’s the right term.”

Gwil playfull rolls his eyes, “well, thank you. You were very Deaky-esque.” Joe laughs at that. Gwil plays with the seam on the side of his trouser leg. He takes a deep breath, “we have tomorrow off and I’m spending it moving out of my friends flat.” Gwil decides not to say he’ll be homeless.

Joe smiles wide, “but you’re going to be in the hotel with me!”

Gwil smiles back, “that will be nice. I just… I feel weird living in a hotel in London.”

Joe turns towards Gwil the best he can with a seatbelt on, “just think about it though. Someone to wash your sheets and towels. We can have sleepovers. Rami can come from his room. Ben can come over if he’s nice.”

Gwil laughs loudly, “I guess it will be okay. What are you doing?”

A weird look quickly crosses Joe’s face before he half smiles, “I’ve got bass lessons. Facetiming the family. Sleep.”

Gwil nods, “all equally important.”

Joe gets his phone out of his pocket. Gwil can’t see who Joe is video chatting but that’s soon answered when the screen changes and Joe yells, “BEN!”

Ben appears to be walking on the street, “it’s been 5 minutes. Do you really miss me already?”

Gwil leans over and sees his face pop into view in the tiny square in the corner of the screen, “hi!”

Ben smiles, “hi.”

Joe leans his head against Gwil’s, “Gwil’s sad. I need you to tell him to cheer up.”

Ben smirks, “again, it’s been 5 minutes. He was happy when I last saw him. Gwil, did Joe do something? Blink twice if he’s hurt you.”

Joe scoffs, “I didn’t do anything. Tell him living in the hotel with me will be fun.”

Ben looks confused, “what now?”

Gwil hadn’t told Ben yet because he didn’t want him to feel bad for him. He clears his throat, “my friend and his girlfriend will be back from holiday Sunday. They haven’t said, but I think I’ve over extended my welcome. Production is putting me up with Joe and Rami.”

Gwil can’t help thinking Ben looks sad for a moment. Ben smiles, “slip them a few pounds to get on a different floor than Joe.”

Joe replied dryly, “thanks Ben.”

Ben laughs, “of course.” Gwil laughs before Ben continues, “I doubt you’ve overstayed your welcome. You’re the least annoying person I’ve met. But you’ll be fine at the hotel.”

Gwil smiles, “thanks, Ben.”

Ben holds his hand up like he’s blocking the part of his screen Joe would be on, “call me back when you’re alone if Joe’s touched you or something.”

Joe exclaims loudly, “HEY!”

Gwil laughs hard, “thanks, Ben.”

“Bye trader!” Joe quickly hangs up on Ben. He turns to Gwil, “do you need someone to touch you?” Joe wiggles his eyebrows. “Is that why you’re sad?”

Gwil shakes his head, “I’m good.”

Joe grins, “if you’re going to make yourself feel better at the hotel…” Gwil rolls his eyes at Joe’s implication, “don’t get a room next to mine.”

Gwil laughs, “I’ll make sure they put at least one room between us. I don’t want to hear what you get up to either.”

Joe shrugs, “suit yourself.”

The car stops for Gwil to get out. Gwil pats Joe’s leg, “enjoy your day off.”

Joe pulls him into a hug, “feel better.”

Gwil pats him on the back, “thanks Joe.”

++++++++

Gwil is just finishing taping the bottom of the boxes he has when the doorbell rings. Gwil walks over and hits the intercom, “Hello.”

Gwil is surprised when Ben’s voice comes out, “hey, mate. It’s Ben.”

Gwil smiles and buzzes him up. He goes over to the door, holding it open since it won’t take Ben long to get up one flight of stairs. Gwil smiles when Ben walks through, “what are you doing here?”

Ben shrugs off his jacket, “you’re moving right? I thought you might need some help. My car’s downstairs.”

Gwil smiles wide, “thanks.” Gwil leads him into the guest bedroom he’s been staying in the last few months. “Most of the things I’m packing will be sent to my parents in a few days. I’ll work on finding a place of my own after filming is over.”

Ben is looking around the room and turns back to face Gwil, “I have two rooms. You can just move once.”

Gwil isn’t sure what to say. He’s known Ben for about a month. They’ve all gotten along really well so far. He can already tell they’ll all be friends even when filming is over. He’d really prefer to not stay in a hotel for the next 4 months. Gwil swallows hard, “are you sure?”

Ben nods, “sure. We’ll be going to set together all the time. When we have other jobs, it will probably be like we both live alone. So, unless you don’t want to, I’m sure.”

Gwil didn’t really think about how they both travel a lot for work. He smiles, “no. That should be good. Thanks. I really didn’t want to stay at the hotel.”

“Alright.” Ben walks over to the dresser and turns around with a picture frame. “Now I need you to explain this.” Ben is holding up a picture of Gwil when he was about 13 and on a show called Animal Ark. His parents came to set. They took a family picture where Gwil is holding a goose. Ben is obviously trying not to laugh. 

“Okay, give me that.” Gwil steps towards Ben. 

Ben puts the picture behind his back and starts to back away from Gwil while laughing. “No! This is going up our living room.”

Gwil steps forward again, quicker this time, and is able to get his arms around Ben. He wraps one arm around Ben’s waist, holding him against himself tight as he reaches for the picture with his other arm. Gwil’s longer arms give him an advantage and he’s able to get the picture from Ben. Gwil pulls back a bit and his face ends up right by Ben’s. He notices Ben’s eyes move from his down to his lips. 

Ben licks his lips and looks back up to Gwil’s eyes. Gwil puts the picture back on the dresser while maintaining eye contact. Ben leans against Gwil.

Gwil tilts his head and leans the slightest bit in. Ben closes his eyes so Gwil leans in the rest of the way and kisses him. 

Ben lifts his arms to Gwil’s neck. Gwil wraps his other arm around Ben’s shoulders. He starts to slowly walk backwards towards his bed as they kiss. 

Gwil breaks the kiss so he can sit on the bed. He puts his hands on Ben’s hip and tries to pull him onto his lap.

Ben shakes his head and pulls off his shirt. He tosses it on the ground, “sit up against the headboard.” 

Gwil does as instructed. Ben crawls up the bed and settles on Gwil’s lap, straddling him. Ben curls his fingers under Gwil’s shirt to pull it off as well. Gwil throws it off the side of the bed.

Ben rubs his hands over Gwil’s chest, “you good with this?”

“Yes.” Gwil nods and puts his hand on Ben’s neck, pulling him in for another kiss. Ben moans against his mouth. 

They continue to kiss, running their hands over each other’s chests and backs. Gwil runs his hand down Ben’s back and under the top of his sweatpants. Ben seems to lift himself so Gwil’s hand moves further down and rests on his ass. Gwil grabs Ben’s ass, causing Ben to moan loudly. Gwil moves his other hand to the other side of Ben’s ass. 

Ben starts to grind against Gwil as Gwil massages him. Gwil moves his lips to Ben’s neck. Ben tilts his head to the side, giving Gwil better access. 

Gwil moves one hand to wrap around Ben’s hips and his other between Ben’s cheeks to rub at his hole. 

“Gwil,” Ben moans as Gwil starts to circle around the muscle, pressing but not entering.

Gwil kisses up to Ben’s ear, “I don’t have anything.”

Ben pulls back a bit, “I have a condom in my wallet. Do you have vaseline or aloe to use as lube?”

Gwil thinks for a minute, “there’s aloe in the bathroom.” 

Ben moves off Gwil’s lap so he can get up. When Gwil comes back from the bathroom, Ben has rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Gwil tosses him the aloe and takes off his clothes too. Gwil gets back on the bed. He laughs when he immediately has a lap full of Ben again. 

Ben leans forward, kissing across Gwil’s chest. He speaks between kisses, “can…I.. ride..you?” He looks up at Gwil.

Gwil cups his face, “sounds lovely.” He pulls Ben’s face in for another kiss. Gwil reaches for the aloe as he and Ben kiss more. He breaks the kiss to look over Ben’s shoulder and spread some on his finger. 

Ben kisses along his neck, “I fingered myself this morning. You can probably start with two.”

Gwil groans at the thought of Ben fingering himself and kisses his shoulder, “I can do that.” Gwil puts more on a second finger. He kisses his way back to Ben’s lips. He slowly presses his fingers against Ben’s rim. Gwil’s fingers slide right in. 

Ben moans as Gwil curls his fingers against him, “Gwil.”

Gwil curls his fingers a little harder the second time.

Ben lets his head fall back, “fuck.”

Gwil kisses the front of Ben’s neck as he pumps and twists his fingers. Ben starts to move himself against Gwil’s fingers. Gwil pumps a little faster.

Ben lifts his head back up. He grabs Gwil’s face, kissing him roughly, “more please.”

Gwil inserts a third finger. Gwil keeps pace best he can as Ben starts to fuck himself on his fingers. 

Gwil kisses Ben’s chest, “you look amazing like this.”

“Oh yeah?” Ben smirks. He reaches over and grabs the condom laying next to them. He opens it, reaches between them and rolls it onto Gwil’s cock. Gwil pulls his fingers out of Ben. Ben lifts his hips and holds Gwil against his hole. He slides down on Gwil’s cock, “what about like this?”

Gwil pulls Ben flush against him, “even better.” Gwil nuzzles his face against Ben’s neck as Ben starts to roll his hips. 

Ben puts his arms over Gwil’s shoulders and starts to lift himself up and down Gwil’s cock. A little whimper leaves Gwil’s lips every time he’s fully inside Ben. It starts to sound like almost one continuous noise as Ben starts to move so quickly.

Gwil wraps his arms tightly around Ben, trying to slow him down a bit, “fuck. Fuck.” Ben slows. “Ben. Ben.”

Ben almost completely stops, “you okay?” He kisses the side of Gwil’s head. He stops moving completely.

Gwil takes a deep breath, “I want to last longer. You feel too good. I’m going to come any second at that pace. Just give me a second please.”

Ben pulls back to look at Gwil, “of course.” He leans in and kisses him very slowly. After about a minute, Ben pulls back and rests his head against Gwil’s as he starts to clench around Gwil’s cock. Gwil can tell by how Ben is biting his lip he’s teasing him.

Gwil laughs and pinches Ben’s side. He jokingly says, “fuck you.”

Ben laughs loudly and smirks, “that’s why I’m trying to get you to do.”

“Fine!” Gwil grins and grabs Ben’s hips. Gwil slowly lifts Ben up and down as he thrusts up. Ben smiles and starts moving along with Gwil. Gwil tightens his grip and starts to thrust quicker. He continues to increase his pace until Ben is a whining mess on top of him. 

Ben grips the headboard, “fuck… Gwil… oh…that’s good...Gwil...I’m…come.”

Gwil smiles proudly that Ben can’t get fully get out that he’s going to come before he does. Ben squirts over his own stomach and Gwil’s. He falls forward against Gwil. 

Gwil rubs his hand over Ben’s back, trusts a few more times before spilling into the condom. He lifts Ben just enough for him to slide out. Ben still has his head on Gwil’s shoulder. 

Ben stays there for a few minutes as Gwil just holds him. Ben lifts his head and kisses Gwil on the lips. He gets off Gwil’s lap and sits on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath before pushing himself up and going into the bathroom.

Gwil watches him walk off thinking about how sweet it was that he came over to help him pack. It’s even nicer that he’s letting Gwil stay with him. Gwil leans back against the headboard. He could really go for a nap.

Ben comes back to the room and leans against the doorframe, smiling, “if you fall asleep, I’m not packing all your stuff by myself.”

Gwil smirks, “it’s your fault I’m tired.”

Ben playfull rolls his eyes, “yes. That was completely my fault.”

Gwil smiles, “alright. I’ll pack my own stuff.” Gwil moves to get off the bed. He looks at Ben who is now opening a suitcase on top of the dresser. “Hey, Ben.” Ben looks over at him. “Are you sure about me moving in with you?”

Ben nods, “yeah. It’s fine. I have an extra bedroom. You need one. Makes sense.”

Gwil half smiles, “alright.” 

Ben smiles at him, “plus this way Joe won’t be trying to have a group slumber party every night. We’ll actually get to sleep this way.”

Gwil laughs, “good point.”

++++++++

It only took them a couple of trips to get all of Gwil’s things to Ben’s. Thankfully Gwil didn’t have any furniture and Ben had a bed already.

Gwil starts to unpack the boxes since it’s only late afternoon. He doubts he’ll have time since he doesn’t know when they’ll have another day off. He opens the first box and finds the picture that Ben found so humorous that morning. He walks across the living room to Ben’s room. The door is ajar. He pushes it open more so he can walk in. He hears it lightly hit the wall. Ben is reading on the bed and just watches curiously as Gwil walks up to nightstand and puts the picture down.

Ben laughs loudly, “perfect.”

Gwil smiles, “glad you like it.”

Ben sets his book down, “I know you’re unpacking but do you want to go to the grocery store before it gets too late? We can get food you like and maybe something for dinner. I can show you places nearby on the way.”

Gwil nods, “that sounds great.”

Ben bites his lip, “if you cook, I’ll help you unpack afterwards.”

Gwil laughs, “that’s a fair trade. Sort of.” Gwil turns to leave the room. He didn’t realize the bedroom door shut behind him. He tries to open it but it’s locked.

“Oh yeah.” Ben steps around him and undoes he lock below the knob, “it does that. I need to get it fixed.” He opens the door, “after you roomie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG they are roommates
> 
> I’ve just decided to throw in as many troupes as possible I guess


	6. Chapter 6

Gwil holds the door to the makeup trailer open for Ben to enter. As soon as he walks in, he hears Joe’s booming voice.

“GWIL! You’re alive!! We asked for your room this morning but they said you cancelled. Is everything okay?”

Ben is walking past Joe’s makeup chair and leans down to Joe’s ear, “I stole him. He lives with me now.”

Joe’s jaw drops and he whips his head to look at Gwil, “what the hell?”

Gwil feels a little bit guilty since Joe had been really excited for them to be staying at the same hotel. He really likes Ben’s flat though. The location seems nice. He also just feels comfortable there, even after one night. He mumbles, “I moved in with Ben.”

Joe pouts, “he’s not me.”

Gwil squeezes Joe’s shoulder as he passes, “do you want me to come stay with you tonight?”

Joe crosses his arms across his chest, “no. I’ll survive.”

Gwil sits down and smiles, “good.” Gwil looks up in his mirror and can see Ben smirking at Joe’s jealousy. 

Joe sees Gwil watching Ben, “are you going to look for a place still?”

Gwil’s eyes move from Ben to Joe, “I don’t know. Probably not.”

Joe realizes Ben never mentioned a second bedroom. Gwil and Ben do seem close. He thinks they have all grown close but thinks there might be more it with Gwil and Ben. His makeup artist is grabbing a few brushes so he turns to face Gwil, “do you have separate bedrooms?”

Gwil feels his cheeks heat up, “do you think…” Gwil coughs, “I have my own room.”

Joe looks at Gwil skeptically, “okay.”

Ben laughs, “did you mean to say that like Deaky?”

Joe smiles, “it just comes naturally now.”

They all fall into conversation together and with the others in the trailer. Joe is done before the others since he arrived earlier with Rami. Rami isn’t done yet because he has to get the prosthetic nose put on. No one is around him at the moment so Joe goes to sit in the empty chair next to him. He leans in to whisper to him, “Do you think Gwil and Ben are really staying in different bedrooms?”

Rami stretches and looks over to Ben and Gwil. Ben has his head tilted towards Gwil and is smiling as he pulls on one of the curls of Gwil’s wig. Gwil is watching Ben’s hand with a soft look on his face. Rami smiles, “if they are, they probably won’t be for long.” Rami looks around to see if anyone is paying attention to him and Joe. No one is so he whispers back to Joe, “how long are we going to stay in different bedrooms?”

Joe stammers and stands up, “not here.” He gives Rami a quick smile and leaves. 

Rami laughs to himself and watches Joe dart out of the trailer.

++++++++

Gwil has most of the day off. He has guitar lessons in the late afternoon but nothing else is required of him. He stretches against the mattress before he gets out of bed to get his guitar, thinking he should practice a bit.

After about 10 minutes, Ben shuffles in through the open door in just his boxer briefs. He also has the whole day off. They’ve been living together for about a month now and it’s the first morning they haven’t had to both be on set first thing in the morning.

Gwil smiles at him, trying to just look at his face. Ben gives him a half hearted wave and lays face down at the end of Gwil’s bed. Gwil laughs and continues to practice. Ben rolls over to grab the bottom of the comforter. He pulls it over himself and rolls up in it. Ben closes his eyes as Gwil keeps playing. 

Ben pulls his arms out of the covers and starts drumming on his chest. Gwil notices Ben is watching him. He thinks it’s just so he can drum along but then Ben turns on his side and just keeps watching him. He watches Ben’s eyes move from his hands, up his arms and to his face. Ben smiles and winks when they make eye contact.

Gwil ducks his head, “what?”

Ben smiles, “you just look hot right now.”

Gwil blushes, “thanks.” Gwil hesitates for a second before adding on, “so do you.”

Ben rotates so he’s laying on his stomach with his head right in front of Gwil, “you know what we haven’t done?” 

Gwil’s whole body feels warm. The way Ben is looking at him, he thinks he knows where he’s going with this. They haven’t actually done anything sexual together since he moved in. He swallows hard, “what?”

Ben takes the guitar out of Gwil’s hands and lays it on the floor next to the bed. Gwil leans back against the headboard. Ben moves back to settle between Gwil’s legs. He looks up at Gwil as he leans in to kiss his chest. Gwil pushes a hand through Ben’s hair as he watches Ben kiss down his chest, over his stomach and down to the top of his boxers. Ben kisses there and puts his hands on Gwil’s hips, then looks up for permission. Gwil lifts his hips and Ben pulls down his boxers.

Ben licks a stripe up the underside of Gwil’s quickly hardening cock. Gwil’s eyes flutter shut as Ben swirls his tongue around the head. He wraps his hand around the base, lifting it so he can take it in his mouth. Gwil rubs his hands over Ben’s shoulders and back as he starts to bob his head up and down. Gwil flexes his toes, trying not to buck up into Ben’s warm, wet mouth. 

Gwil lightly combs his fingers through the hair on the back of Ben’s head. Ben moans around him, making Gwil moan at the vibrations. Gwil moves his other hand down Ben’s back and under his briefs. Gwil runs his finger against Ben’s hole. 

Ben pulls off Gwil’s cock and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He smiles at Gwil, “I think it’s your turn. If you want.” Gwil looks at him questioningly. Ben pats his hip, “turn over.”

Gwil realizes Ben means to fuck him. Gwil quickly turns over onto his hands and knees. 

Ben smiles and rubs his hand over Gwil’s ass, “good boy.” He curls over Gwil and kisses his cheek. Gwil smiles. Ben kisses his shoulder, then the middle of his back, and then his tailbone. He looks up at Gwil, “you good with this?”

Gwil nods and lowers onto his elbows, “yes, please.” Ben presses his tongue against Gwil. Gwil cries out and pushes his hips back to feel more. 

Ben laughs and holds Gwil’s hips still. Ben kisses Gwil’s sensitive skin before using his tongue again. Gwil presses his head against the pillows as Ben works at him. Ben circles his tongue around Gwil’s hole. He lifts his hand and presses a finger against him. 

Ben looks around at Gwil, “do you have any lube?”

Gwil nods and points to the nightstand, “drawer.” 

Ben pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom. Gwil watches him look at it with a blank expression on his face. 

Gwil lifts his head off the pillow, “I got it in case… well this happened in here.”

Ben bites his lip and smiles, “you still want it to happen?”

Gwil nods vigorously, “god yes.”

Ben laughs, “good.” He leans in and kisses Gwil. 

Gwil hums against his mouth and cups his face, holding him there longer. Ben licks into his mouth. Gwil’s tongue meets Ben’s. Ben suddenly pulls back.

“Oh sorry. My mouth.” He looks back towards Gwil’s backside.

Gwil laughs lightly, “I didn’t think about that. I still enjoyed it.” He pulls Ben back in for another kiss.

Ben smiles against his mouth, “good. Can I open you more?”

Gwil wiggles his hips, “yes. Get on with it.”

Ben playfully rolls his eyes, “I should make you wait for it now.”

Thankfully Ben doesn’t actually do that. He moves back behind Gwil. He rubs a lube covered finger tip against Gwil’s hole.

“You ready?” 

Gwil nods, “yes.”

Ben slowly presses his finger into him. Gwil huffs out a breath. Ben rubs Gwil’s back with his free hand. He kisses Gwil’s back, “you okay?”

Gwil smiles, “yeah.”

Ben slowly curls his finger. Gwil waits for the feeling that made Ben cry out. Ben moves his finger slightly to the side and Gwil suddenly gets it. 

“Ben.” Gwil spreads his legs further apart, “yeah. That feels good.”

Ben smiles, “do you want to try another finger?”

“Yes, please.” Gwil turns his head to watch Ben.

Ben adds more lube to a second finger and bites his lip as he pushes both into Gwil. His eyes flick up to Gwil’s and he smirks as he curls both. Gwil moans as Ben starts to pump his fingers and curl them. 

He adds a third finger when the two are able to slide quickly in and out. Ben smiles at how into it Gwil is. He is moaning and pushing his hips back against Ben’s fingers. 

Ben lowers his head to lick around his fingers.

“Fuck Ben.” Gwil rubs his face against the pillow.

Ben smiles, “I will in just a bit longer.” Ben increases his pace. 

Gwil can’t believe how good this feels. He feels desperate for more. He wants to feel Ben pressed against him as he fucks into him. Ben just has one hand on his hip. Gwil doesn’t think enough of Ben is touching him right now. The parts that are though... Gwil loves it.

“Ben.” Gwil moans. “Please.”

Ben leans forward to kiss Gwil, “do you need something?”

Gwil huffs a laugh, “fuck me.”

Ben smiles and kisses him again, “if you insist.” Ben sits back to put on the condom. He rubs more lube over himself and on Gwil. He looks up at Gwil, “how do you want me?”

Gwil shrugs, “is this okay? I’ve liked it so far.”

Ben nods, “yeah. Let me know if you don’t once we get going.”

Gwil smiles, “I will.” Gwil looks forward. He can feel Ben’s thighs against the back of his. Gwil’s breath gets heavier as Ben rubs the head of his cock against Gwil’s hole. Gwil thinks he’s about to slide in, but Ben just slides his cock through Gwil’s cheeks. Gwil thinks maybe he slipped until Ben does it again. 

Gwil looks over his shoulder at Ben.

Ben smirks and raises an eyebrow, “yes?”

Gwil shakes his head, “you’re a tease!”

Ben laughs, “so sorry.” Ben immediately rubs his cock against Gwil again.

Gwil rolls his eyes, “you’re not sorry at all.”

Ben bites his lip, “no, I’m not.” 

Ben presses the head of his cock against Gwil again. Gwil assumes he’s just going to tease him again. Ben slowly pushes in instead. Gwil moans softly as he stretches around Ben. 

Ben kisses the side of Gwil’s neck when he bottoms out, “better?”

Gwil nods, “yeah. Feels good.”

Ben kisses his cheek, “I’m going to move now.”

Ben slowly pulls his hips back till just his tip is in Gwil before slowly pushing back in, his chest pressed against Gwil’s back. He does his for a while, letting Gwil get used to the feeling. 

Gwil moans slowly each time Ben slides back in. He curls his back into the slow thrusts. He’s about to ask Ben to go faster when he lifts off his back. 

Ben holds onto Gwil’s hips, pulling Gwil back against him as he pushes forward. 

“Oh Ben.” Gwil moans and rubs his head against the pillow again. He moves his hips back as Ben fucks into him even faster. Gwil isn’t sure if he likes this better than having Ben on his cock or not yet. He wants to try it with Ben facing him before he tries to decide. He can’t get himself to ask Ben to switch positions right now though. This one feels too good. Ben’s cock is hitting him so well at this angle. Gwil can barely get out any words more than Ben or fuck, it’s mostly just moans and grunts.

Ben groans, “fuck Gwil. You’re so tight. I love the feeling of your dick in me but fuck. You feel good.”

Gwil thinks he might come instantly from knowing how good he feels to Ben so he tells him, “Ben. I’m going to come soon.”

Ben slows his hips slightly, “do you want to yet?”

Gwil nods, “yeah.” 

Ben smiles and increases his pace. Gwil wants to reach down and stroke himself but doesn’t want to risk moving. Ben starts to thrust erratically, “Gwil… I’m coming.” Ben grips his hips tightly and spills into the condom. He keeps thrusting through his orgasm. Gwil comes onto the sheets as Ben groans his name. 

Ben leans Gwil to the side so he doesn’t lay down in the wet spot. Gwil turns onto his back and Ben lays down on his chest. Gwil wraps his arms around Ben and kisses the top of his head, “damn Ben.”

Ben laughs, “yeah?”

Gwil nods, “yeah. That was great.” Gwil rubs his face, “next time can you try it while facing me.”

Ben kisses his chest. He smiles up at Gwil, “I think I can manage that.”

Gwil rolls his eyes and leans down to kiss Ben. He pulls back and smiles, “you’re changing the sheets.”

Ben laughs loudly, “it’s your come. It’s your bed!”

Gwil laughs, “you started it.”

Ben shakes his head, “fine. But keep this in mind the next time you start it.” Ben pushes off him and takes off the condom. He gets off the bed, leaving the room presumably to go to the bathroom. 

Gwil watches him leave, smiling to himself.

++++++++

Gwil comes home from his guitar lesson to find Ben in the living room with one of his friends scrolling through the TV channels. He sits down next to Ben. He winces a tiny bit and repostitions. He doesn’t necessarily hurt but just feels sensitive. Ben looks over at him and winks. Gwil knows he’s blushing. He looks around Ben to his friend, “Hi, I’m Gwilym. The new roommate.”

“Andy.” Andy gives a small wave, “nice to meet you. I thought it was Gwil?”

Gwil smiles, “yeah. Either works.”

Ben sighs, “I don’t think we have the channel.” He turns to Gwil, “I think we might go to a pub to watch some American football. Wanna come with?”

Gwil looks between Ben and Andy, “if I’m not intruding.”

Ben smiles, “never.”

Andy comes back to the table from getting another drink at the bar. He notices Ben leaning in towards Gwil as they talk. Ben stands as Andy sits back down, “I’m going to go smoke.”

Gwil frowns, “it’s going to kill you.” Andy nods.

Ben sighs, “it’s my last pack. I’m going to try to quit so my clothes don’t make our flat smell since you hate it. It’s going to be hard on set though since I smoke in the film.”

Gwil can’t help smiling that Ben would even try to stop because of him, “thanks. That’s very kind of you. I’ll buy you the patch or gum if you’d like.”

Ben shrugs, “I should be good.” Ben leaves. 

Andy watches Gwil watch Ben. Andy waits for Gwil to turn back to him. When he just looks at the tv screen, he gets Gwil’s attention, “hey.” Gwil looks at him. “Ben is a lot more emotional than he acts. Boy cries at everything.”

Gwil’s brow furrows. He doesn’t know where this is coming from, “I...alright.”

Andy half smiles, “just be careful with him.”

Gwil bites the inside of his lip, “I will.”

“Good.” Andy smiles more, “cause you seem pretty great from what Ben’s said.”

Gwil looks towards the pub door, wondering what Ben said. Gwil unsurely says, “we’re just roommates.”

“Yeah, you both said that.” Andy smiles at Gwil like he doesn’t fully believe that.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll see Ben’s point of view next chapter.
> 
> Any predictions on what’s been going through his head???


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place January 2018
> 
> Rating applies to this chapter

Joe bites his bottom lip as they try to stay quiet in the bathroom stall until the person using the urinal leaves. Joe is trying really hard not to laugh. Rami smirking at him as he runs a finger along his jaw isn’t helping. Joe grabs Rami’s hand and gives him a look that he hopes Rami will interpret as “please stop”. Rami just looks more mischievous and leans against Joe to now kiss along his jaw. 

Joe sighs in relief as the door opens and closes behind the other patron. Rami giggles at him.

Joe huffs, “you are a handful sometimes, you know that?”

Rami leans in to kiss his neck, “I’m your handful.”

Joe can’t help smiling, “I guess you make a good point.”

Rami laughs, “come out there with me.” He pulls back to look at Joe.

Joe slightly frowns, “I wasn’t going to stay in here all night. That’s a waste of an excellent wrap party.”

Rami rolls his eyes, “no. Come out there WITH me.” Rami holds out his hand for Joe.

Joe looks between the extended hand and Rami’s face, “Rami.” Rami makes a pleading face Joe can hardly resist. “We talked about this. I still want to keep it between us. It’s special and I don’t want everyone ruining it with their unwanted opinions.”

Rami nods, “I know. I’m just… I’m glad we can share this night together as friends and I don’t want to hide my affection for you right now.”

Joe laughs lightly, “you’re affectionate with everyone. We could probably make out and no one would think anything of it.”

Rami laughs, “want to try?” Joe smiles and rolls his eyes. “Fine but you’re getting on stage and singing with me instead.”

Joe wraps his arms around Rami’s waist and kisses him softly, “like you need to convince me to do that.”

Rami holds his hand out for Joe again. He takes it this time and follows him out to get on stage.

  
  


Ben feels like he’s been smiling the whole night. His face is starting to hurt. It’s making it hard for him to sing along with Joe and Rami, who are up on stage singing.

“WOOOOOOO!” Gwil screams out beside Ben.

Ben looks over at him and laughs. Gwil is more drunk than Ben has ever seen him. Ben wonders if he should cut him off or escort him home soon. He hasn’t done anything that Ben thinks he’d be embarrassed about when he sobers up. He’s just very enthusiastic so Ben just lets him be. 

Gwil moves to stand behind Ben, resting his hands on his shoulders. Ben smiles over his shoulder at Gwil.

Gwil’s eyes get huge, “you should give me a piggyback ride!”

Ben laughs and shakes his head, “you’re too big for that.”

Gwil starts pushing down on Ben’s shoulders, “nah, I’ve seen your muscles.” Gwil wiggles his eyebrows at Ben.

Ben laughs, “okay! None of that.”

Gwil gives up on trying to get Ben to carry him and wraps his arms around Ben’s shoulders from behind instead.

Ben freezes. He doesn’t know if he should encourage this. It could just be a friendly gesture though. He pats Gwil’s arms a few times before letting his hand just rest there. Ben inhales sharply when he feels Gwil’s lips against his neck. 

Ben steps forward, breaking Gwil’s hold on him, and turns around, “let's get you home.” Gwil smiles wide. He steps forward and leans in like he’s going to kiss Ben. Ben puts a hand on his chest, “not like that.”

Gwil frowns. There is a waiter passing with glasses of whiskey. Gwil lifts one off the tray. When he takes a drink, he tilts the glass a little too much. It spills over onto his shirt. 

Ben reaches out for Gwil’s hand, “let’s go clean that then go home.”

Gwil looks at his shirt and pouts, “yeah, alright.”

Gwil leans against the sinks as Ben stands between his legs, dabbing a wet paper towel against his shirt. Ben smiles when Gwil puts a hand on his hip and pulls him closer. He leans in to try and kiss Ben again.

Ben shakes his head and pulls back, “I don’t want to do anything while you’re drunk.”

Gwil pouts, “what if we just do things we’ve done while I’ve been sober?” 

Ben flicks Gwil’s bottom lip that is sticking out as he continues to pout. He smiles, “that doesn’t really leave much we can’t do.”

Gwil smiles, grabs Ben’s hips again, and moves his hands down Ben’s backside. He rubs his hands over Ben’s ass. 

“Gwil!” Ben shakes his head, smiling.

“BEN!” Gwil smiles wide.

Gwil takes his hands off Ben and holds them up, palms facing Ben.

Ben laughs. He really wants to give in and kiss Gwil. It’s been a while since they’ve done anything and he misses the feeling of Gwil’s mouth against his. 

Gwil holds Ben’s chin in his hand and shakes it slightly, “you’re so pretty.” 

Gwil’s hand travels down Ben’s neck, to his chest, resting over his heart. Ben follows the path with his eyes. Ben looks up at Gwil. The drunken glee has left his face. He’s looking at Ben with soft eyes. Ben swallows hard, speaking barely above a whisper, “what?”

Gwil shakes his head, “nothing.”

Ben puts his hand on Gwil’s, “what?”

Gwil licks his lips, “it’s not fair. I’m drunk. Don’t try and get me to say anything.”

Ben gives Gwil’s hand a quick squeeze before letting go, “alright. Let’s get you home now. Find you a dry shirt.”

Gwil smiles wide, “can we cuddle?”

Ben thinks about it for a moment. He knows it’s probably not a good idea. He knows he’s developing feelings for Gwil. “Fine!” he smiles back at Gwil, “but I get to be the little spoon.”

Gwil lifts his arms and cheers, “yay! I promise I won’t try anything.”

Ben gives him a fake stern look, “you better not poke me with anything.”

Gwil smirks, “I thought you liked that.”

“I do but you’re still drunk.” Ben feels excitement starting to grow in him that he’s going to fall asleep with Gwil wrapped around him.

Gwil stand up, gathering the paper towels used to clean his shirt to throw away, “if I wake up with a stiffie, I’ll suck it myself.”

Ben laughs loudly, “I’d like to see that.”

Gwil turns back around to face Ben, “dirty.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “come on. Let’s go say bye to everyone.”

Gwil puts his hand around Ben’s shoulder and smiles down at Ben. Ben smiles back and lets Gwil lead him out of the bathroom.

++++++++

Ben reaches his arms over his head stretching, a small squeak leaves his lips, before he rolls over onto his side. He curls back up, hugging onto the covers, ready to fall back asleep. They’ve been done filming for about a week. He’s making the most of his few weeks off before starting another project. He wants to get as much rest as possible. 

Gwil has less time off. Only about a week and half left before leaving for Australia to start his new film. They’ve both been sleeping in late. They will usually have some breakfast together before Gwil goes running and Ben goes to the gym. Ben hasn’t really meant to but they’ve ended up spending their evenings together too. The one night Ben thought he’d be by himself, Gwil ended up inviting him along to dinner with some of his mates. Hanging out with Gwil just seems natural after working with him for so long. He is a little sad that Joe and Rami have gone back to the states but is glad he still has Gwil so close.

Ben’s eyes are getting heavy as he hears a soft “Ben” carry in through the open door. He just hums in response thinking that Gwil is standing in his doorway. The next Ben that is called is much louder but Ben can tell it’s coming from Gwil’s room.

Ben laughs. He calls back, “what?”

“Ummm. I’ve got a situation.” Ben doesn’t respond. He waits for Gwil to tell him what’s going on. Gwil contines, “I’ve got… I’ve got morning wood and was wondering if you have any interest in helping me get rid of it.”

Ben laughs at how formal this request is. He bites his lip, thinking about it. Of course he wants sex, he’s just not fully awake yet. He also wants to see how desperate Gwil is. He says “I’m too tired to move.” He smiles waiting for Gwil to respond.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Ben can tell he’s still in his own room. Gwil had mentioned he wanted to have sex facing Ben. Ben calls back out, “you can ride me.” Ben hears shuffling. 

“You’re so lazy.”

Ben laughs loudly, “lazy would be if I told you to stretch yourself, too.” Ben turns over and sees Gwil standing, wearing only his boxes, in his doorway looking shy.  
“I did.”

Ben smiles wide and pats the bed next to him, “come here then.”

Gwil pulls back the covers and straddles Ben. Ben slightly sits up to meet him for a kiss. Gwil cups Ben’s face as they lay back down on the bed. Ben wraps his arms around Gwil as they continue to kiss. Ben feels himself getting hard quickly as Gwil starts to rut against him. Ben slides his hand down Gwil’s back. He edges under his boxers and down to Gwil’s hole.

Ben moans, “you’re already slick.”

Gwil nods, “I need you.” Gwil stretches his legs out, laying against Ben so Ben can push down his boxers. He finishes pushing them off when Ben’s arms can’t reach any farther while Ben pushes his own briefs off. Gwil unwraps the condom and rolls it on Ben. He sits up and positions himself over Ben’s hips again.

Ben rubs his hands over the top of Gwil’s thighs, “you sure you want it this way?”

Gwil nods, “yeah.”

Ben smiles “I can actually get up if you want me on top.”

Gwil shakes his head and leans down to kiss Ben, “I want to try this. I loved watching you on top of me. I want to see what it feels like.”

Ben bites his lip. He really liked how it felt when he was riding Gwil before they packed him up to move in too. He pushes up and pulls Gwil in for another kiss.

Gwil pulls back from the kiss. He reaches behind himself to hold Ben’s cock up so he can slide down on it. 

Ben sees him concentrating. He thinks it’s extremely cute. He rubs Gwil’s thighs again, “you got this.”

Gwil laughs a little, “you’re distracting me.”

Ben lifts his hands, “sorry then.” 

Gwil rubs the head of Ben’s cock around, finding the right position, and lowers himself slowing onto it. 

Ben thinks Gwil feels amazing around him. He still slightly prefers Gwil fucking him but he’ll do it anyway Gwil wants. 

Gwil is done sliding down on Ben’s cock. Ben smiles, “can I touch you yet?”

Gwil smirks, “I thought maybe I’d just do it myself and let you sleep.”

Ben laughs, “not a chance.” He reaches out for Gwil’s hips, starting to slowly rock Gwil against him. He smiles when Gwil’s head falls forward.

“Ben. You feel good.”

Ben thrusts up, “yeah? You feel amazing. So good. Just for me.”

Gwil smiles and looks at Ben, “just for you.” 

Gwil starts to lift himself up and down. Ben is ready to start quickly fucking up into Gwil, but Gwil seems to be taking his time. Ben starts to rub his hands up and down the inside of Gwil’s thighs as they move together. Ben massages Gwil with his thumbs almost where they join together. Gwil moans deeply so Ben presses harder. 

Gwil leans back on his hands, giving Ben better access to rub him as he rides him. Ben loves how Gwil looks all stretched out, cock red and leaking against his stomach. Ben licks his lips. He wraps one hand around it. Gwil cries out when he starts to stroke him. 

“Ben. Fuck. Ben.” Gwil sits up and grabs for Ben.

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s waist, slightly moving them so he can sit up better. Gwil pulls him into a kiss. Ben slows his hips so he can concentrate on kissing Gwil. 

Gwil pulls back, breathing heavily as he watches Ben stroke him, “you feel too good. I’m going to come soon.”

Ben picks up the pace of his hand and hips, “yeah? You feel good too. You ready to come?” Gwil nods quickly. Ben increases his pace more. Gwil tightly wraps his arms around Ben as he moves with him. Gwil squeezes around Ben’s cock tightly before groaning, coming over Ben’s hand and both their stomachs. 

Ben moves his hands to Gwil’s hips, chasing his own orgasm. He feels Gwil’s beard against his cheek. Gwil whispers in Ben’s ear, “come for me, Ben.” Ben loves how deep and almost commanding Gwil’s voice is just then. Ben gives a few more deep thrusts before doing just that. 

Gwil slides off Ben and falls onto the bed next to him. 

Ben laughs and rolls onto his side to look at him. He runs his fingers over his chest, “you alright?”

Gwil nods and lolls his head to the side to look at Ben, “I’m fantastic. That was great.” He cups Ben’s cheek and pulls him into a soft kiss.

Ben smiles against his mouth, “it was.” Ben pulls back, “you’re fucking me next time though.” Ben bites his lip. He shouldn’t have said that. He doesn’t want to make plans for them. This is still just a few fucks between friends he reminds himself. 

Gwil laughs, “I can do that.” He scratches at his beard, “have you told anyone this is happening?”

Ben doesn’t know how to respond. He hasn’t really told anyone. Andy accused him of having feelings for Gwil when he was telling him some stories from set. Ben told him it wasn’t like that. He then told him they had slept together but it wasn’t anything more than friendship. He didn’t think Andy believed him then and Ben barely believes himself now. 

Ben shrugs, “Joe didn’t believe it when I told him how we met. He definitely wouldn’t believe this.”

Gwil looks like he’s about to say something else before he laughs, “he’d be so mad to learn you told him the truth.”

Ben laughs, “yeah. He really would.”

Gwil rolls on his side to face Ben, resting his arm over Ben’s hip, “I like chatting with you...after.”

Ben smiles, “sex gets my heart going, I’m not going to instantly fall asleep.” Ben almost leans in to kiss him. 

Gwil pats Ben’s hip, “come on. Let’s get up. You’re coming with me to find a new suitcase.”

Ben rolls away from him onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow, “I don’t want to do things.”

Gwil lays on Ben’s back, talking into his ear, “I’ll buy you a treat if you’re a good boy at the store.”

Ben laughs loudly, “fine. I’ll come with.”

Gwil kisses his cheek, “good! It will be more fun that way.” Gwil crawls off the bed. Ben watches him leave. He momentarily thinks he should stay home. Then he remembers they’ll be apart soon enough. Ben can get his growing crush under control then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be the last instance of Ben topping. 
> 
> Will this be the last instance of them having sex? The last time as friends with benefits??? :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little bit has changed places a lot. It was going to be with the last chapter. Then it was going to be with what is now the next chapter. Now’s its going to serve as a little Sunday night treat on it’s own
> 
> Basically my hand slipped and I wrote 2000 words of almost pure porn. Some feelings made their way in there too

As he packs, Gwil realizes he’s not as excited as he thought he would be to leave for Australia. He loves the script. The writer and his costar, Miranda, has seemed great so far. She’s really excited to be making the film. Her enthusiasm had made Gwil equally so to start. Plus he was going to see a part of the country he had before. 

However, he’s not ready to leave Ben. He knows they are just friends but he really enjoys the pattern they’ve fallen into living together. Not the occassional sex, just the company. He feels more relaxed when he’s around Ben.

Almost like he was summoned by Gwil’s thoughts, Ben appears in his doorway. Ben laughs lightly as he looks at all the items on Gwil’s bed, “no way that’s all going to fit, mate.”

Gwil looks at it and frowns, “there was space left before I realized I should pack shoes.” Gwil looks back at Ben, “you leaving?” Gwil knows he’ll be on his way to the airport well before Ben gets back from a night out with his friends. 

Ben walks in and sits on a small spot on the edge of the bed, “in a bit. Came to say bye. When do you get back?”

Gwil tries not to let it show on his face that he’s a bit sad he’ll be back only a week before Ben has to leave for another project. He chews on the inside of his lip, “First week in April.”

Ben sighs, his shoulders slump, “it feels weird that I won’t see you everyday.”

Gwil can’t help smiling wide, “I know. Come here.” Gwil pulls him off the bed and hugs tight. Ben nuzzles against Gwil’s neck. Gwil rests his head against Ben’s and closes his eyes. He wants to ask Ben to stay home for a few more hours until he’s taken to the airport. 

Ben pulls back from the hug, “I’ll miss you, buddy.” He leans in to kiss Gwil’s cheek. The kiss is poorly placed and half lands on Gwil’s mouth. 

Gwil looks at him, surprised to see the slightest blush on his cheeks. Gwil cups Ben’s face in both of his hands and pulls him into a real kiss. Ben wraps his arounds around Gwil’s waist and licks into Gwil’s mouth. Gwil moans at the very welcome intrusion. Ben starts walking them backwards to the bed as they kiss. He stops when his legs hit the edge, breaking the kiss to look at the bed.

“All your stuff.”

Gwil looks over bed, “help me pack really quick?” He grins hopefully at Ben.

Ben chuckles, “this was your plan the whole time, wasn’t it?”

Gwil laughs, “no but I’m not complaining at how it’s worked out.”

Ben shakes his head and pulls out his phone. Ben watches Gwil start to pack as he waits for the call to connect, “Andy! Something came up. I’ll see you guys this weekend...No…oh piss off...NO…I love you, too.” Ben laughs and hangs up the phone. Gwil looks up at him. Ben winks, “I’m all yours now. Do we have time for this before you leave?”

Gwil puts his hands on his hips, looking at his half full suitcase. He looks up at Ben, “Can I use your shower stuff after so I can back mine?”

Ben chuckles, “yeah that’s fine.”

Gwil smirks, “then if you help me pack instead of watching, yeah.” Ben rolls his eyes. “Can I be on top? It’s a long flight.”

Ben grins, “that’s probably a good idea. Now, how do you want me to help?”

Ben starts handing Gwil the items he asks for as he arranges everything in his bag. As Gwil starts to zip up his suitcase, Ben starts unzipping his pants. Gwil takes his suitcase off the bed and out to sit because the front door. When he comes back in Ben is on his back in the middle of the bed, completely naked, playing with a bottle of lube between his hands.

Gwil lets out a big breath, “fuck Ben.” Gwil pulls off his shirt.

Ben smirks, “you like what you see?”

Gwil pushes down his jeans and pants, freeing his hardening cock, “you know I do.” He crawls on the bed, settling between Ben’s legs. Ben wraps his hand behind Gwil’s neck and pulls him in for an eager kiss. 

After some heavy making out, Gwil kisses along Ben’s jaw. Slowly working his way down to Ben’s neck, then to his chest. Gwil keeps himself propped up on his elbows on either side of Ben, careful not to make contact with Ben’s dick yet. He kisses down Ben’s stomach, pausing to look up at him. Ben licks over his lips, watching Gwil.

Gwil chuckles, “can I suck your dick?”

Ben eyebrows raise, “it’s your first time doing that.”

Gwil has been wanting to try it for some time now. He kisses Ben’s stomach again, “think of it as a going away present.”

Ben playfully rolls his eyes, “if you want, I’m not going to turn that down.”

Gwil smiles and resumes kissing his way down Ben. When he reaches Ben’s cock, he makes eye contact with Ben as he licks up the underside from base to tip.

Ben’s head falls back, “god Gwil.”

Gwil smiles and lifts Ben’s shaft so he can run his tongue through the leaking tip.

Ben moans, “fuck. This may kill me.”

Gwil laughs before taking the tip into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the tip. He slowly puts more in his mouth, lifting most of the way off before taking even more in, getting used to the feeling. He thinks he might love this. He loves how Ben feels against his tongue. He loves the noises Ben is making. When he hollows his cheeks around Ben, he feels Ben run a finger over his cheek. Gwil looks up at Ben. He already looks fucked out. Gwil reaches for the lube with the hand not wrapped around Ben. 

Ben must realize what he’s going for and opens the bottle for him. Gwil holds out one finger for Ben. Ben smirks and puts some over Gwil’s finger as Gwil continues rubs his tongue over the head of his cock. Ben stops for a second, his eyes closing for a moment. 

Gwil rubs his finger over Ben’s hole a few times before sliding his finger past the tight muscle. Gwil starts placing open mouthed kisses up and down Ben’s cock as he pumps his fingers. Gwil ruts his hips against the mattress, needing some friction. He wants to slide into Ben already but can tell Ben is still too tight for that. Gwil pulls his finger out. He holds two out for Ben to put lube on. Gwil slides those in and out, curling them against Ben. 

Ben moans loudly when Gwil times a curl of his finger with taking as much of Ben into his mouth as he can. Ben is breathing heavily, “Gwil...I lo… this is great… your flight… fuck me already.”

Gwil can’t help laughing at how impatient Ben sounds. He still has Ben in his mouth, so then he has to pull off. He coughs, “you aren’t stretched.” Gwil notices how rough his voice sounds.

Ben huffs, “use three fingers then.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s hip, “yes, dear.” Gwil is glad his face is down and Ben doesn’t see him regret using the term of endearment. It was a fairly innocent one though. He holds his hand out for Ben to put more lube on his three fingers. Gwil smiles when Ben spreads his legs more for him. Gwil tries to stretch Ben as quickly as he can without hurting him. Gwil is eager to fuck Ben. Plus Ben wasn’t wrong when he mentioned his flight. It would be incredibly awkward if he had to explain that he missed his flight. He doesn’t know how he would explain why.

When Ben feels sufficiently prepped, Gwil moves so he can reach the condoms in his drawer next to the bed. Gwil opens a package and rolls on the condom. He moves back to between Ben’s legs. 

Ben lifts his legs to Gwil’s waist as Gwil lines himself up. They both groan as Gwil slides in. Gwil throughly enjoyed Ben fucking him, but feeling Ben open around him just feels perfect.

Ben must agree because he smiles and moans, “fuck this is good.” His head falls to one side, “Gwil… you feel...too good.” Gwil slightly pulls back and slides the rest of the way in. Ben moans louder, “your cock is perfect.”

Gwil leans down to kiss Ben. He knows he’s blushing at the comment. 

Ben breaks the kiss and whispers in Gwil’s ear, “fuck me hard, Gwil. I want to feel it till I see you again.” Ben nips at Gwil’s ear.

Gwil groans. He feels even harder than he already was even with being balls deep in Ben. Gwil looks at Ben underneath him and the expression on his face. He’s biting his lip the best he can while panting slightly. It’s the hottest thing Gwil’s ever seen.

Gwil moves Ben’s legs from behind his waist to over his shoulders. He moves to his knees. He grabs onto Ben’s hips. He starts slowly, making sure Ben likes the position. 

He looks down at Ben, “this okay?” Ben nods quickly. Gwil turns his head to kiss Ben’s calf. He gives Ben a few more slow thrusts before changing to a much quicker one. Gwil thinks it’s faster and harder than he’s ever fucked anyone. It definitely feels better than sex with anyone else. Ben reaches up to touch himself.

Gwil grabs his wrist and lowers it back to the mattress, “don’t touch yourself. I want to make you come untouched.” Ben whimpers and nods. Gwil growls and leans forward. Ben is almost bent in half. A quick succession of “Gwil”’s are leaving his lips. Gwil wishes he could reach Ben’s mouth to kiss him right now but he doesn’t want to change their position or pace. He can feel Ben starting to clench around him. He knows Ben is going to come soon. Gwil’s orgasm is building very quickly as well. He thinks as soon as he sees Ben’s face relax as he comes, he’ll come himself. Gwil kisses Ben’s leg again. He hears Ben cry out.

“Oh fuck. I’m coming.”

Gwil slightly bites Ben’s leg, trying to keep fucking Ben till he stops coming. A look of pure bliss washes over his face. It only lasts a second though. Ben surprises Gwil when he pushes Gwil back suddenly. 

Gwil slides out of Ben, “what’s wrong?”

Ben quickly shakes his head, “nothing.” He pulls the condom off Gwil, “come on me. Please?”

Gwil groans as Ben lays back down. Gwil straddles Ben’s hips. He wraps his hand around himself to jerk himself but Ben slaps his hand away. Ben furiously pumps Gwil until he comes over his chest.

Gwil falls onto the bed beside Ben. He sighs “shit.”

Ben chuckles and looks over at him, “is that good?”

“God, Ben.” Gwil rubs his hands over his face, “you are something.” Gwil wishes they had enough time for another round. He wants to take his time with Ben. He looks over at Ben, who looks slightly worried. He rolls on his side before positioning himself over Ben. He pushes some of the sweat matted hair off Ben’s forehead. He kisses him softly, “that was amazing.” He kisses him again.

Ben bites his lip and looks at where their chests are pressed together, “now we’re both dirty.

“Shower?” Gwil smiles at him, “I’ll wash you off.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s chin, “sounds great.”

Gwil follows Ben into the bathroom. They kiss slowly as they take turns washing the other. Gwil watches Ben as he stands under the hot water with his eyes closed. He looks beautiful, soft, and relaxed. He realises just how much he doesn’t think of Ben as just a friend.


	9. Chapter 9

Gwil’s costar Miranda laughs loudly as Gwil crouches down next to her for a picture. After the picture, her boyfriend hands her back her glass of wine and she curls against his side. 

She smiles back at Gwil, “Gwil, you haven’t told us. Do you have a partner?”

Gwil smiles, telling himself not to say Ben. Ben is still just his friend and hasn’t said anything about changing that. He did think Ben looked sad when they said goodbye. He has just kissed him softly, letting his hand linger on Gwil’s cheek. Gwil has spent many nights wondering what that kiss and look meant as he waits to fall asleep. Would that kiss have happened if they hadn’t just had sex? Is the sex more than just that now? Gwil definitely wants it to be but they are both gone so much. The amount of time they would be spending apart would take such a big commitment. 

Gwil clears his throat, “no, no partner.”

One of the guys on the crew, Carl, that Gwil has chatted with between scenes turns to him with a confused look on his face, “what about Ben? Who’s that then?”

Gwil wills himself to not look at the ground. He hopes the amount of wine he’s had is covering his blushing, “That’s.. Oh, well, Ben’s my roommate. Just a close mate.”

Carl shrugs, “I really thought he was more.”

Gwil chews on his lip to try not to smile too much and shakes his head. Gwil goes back inside to refill his own wine glass. They’ve been at the winery for just an hour, but has already had his fair share. Everyone seems ready to tie one on. They are celebrating the halfway point of filming. They are going to eat soon. That should help sober him up a bit. At the very least it will slow down how quickly he’s getting buzzed. 

All throughout dinner, everyone kept talking about their romantic lives. Gwil thinks that makes sense for filming a romantic comedy. It’s not helping him not think of Ben though. Neither is the alcohol. 

The last time he was this intoxicated he ended up sleeping in Ben’s bed. Perfectly curled against his back. His thighs against the back of Ben’s. 

Gwil misses Ben even more than he usually does right now. He misses how he smiles. He misses hearing his laughter. He misses how he smells. Gwil shakes his head and tells himself that’s weird. He misses him in the evenings when they are done filming, just chatting with him before they go to bed.

He’s talked to Ben a little bit, but Ben is terrible at texting back. He never remembers his whatsapp password. Gwil thinks Ben is just being stubborn and not looking it up because Joe, Rami, and him keep insisting he does. The time difference makes phone calls difficult. 

Gwil excuses himself and walks out onto the porch to try to call Ben anyways. He really wants to hear his voice right now. He finds Ben’s contact and presses the video call option. 

When Ben’s face appears on screen, he’s smiling wide but his eyes look confused, “Gwil? What time is it there?”

Gwil looks down at his watch, but there isn’t enough light to read it and his eyes don’t fully want to focus. He just guesses, “tomorrow?”

Ben laughs and it’s like music to Gwil’s ears, “alright. What have you been doing tonight?”

Gwil rubs his nose with his free hand, “I had some wine with all the crew and cast.” Gwil swallows, “I miss you. Not just..” Gwil changes his tone, “the sex”

Ben bites his lip before smiling, “I’m not sure where you are at, but that wasn’t the whisper I think you were going for.”

Gwil isn’t concerned if anyone is around him, “can we talk?”

Ben looks at him softly from the screen, “I miss you too but how about we talk tomorrow when you’ve rested? You look a little sleepy. I’ll call you first thing when I wake up. Do you work?”

Gwil’s eyes do feel heavy now. He thinks their rides back to the hotel should be here soon. They have tomorrow off so that probably is a much better time to talk to Ben. He shakes his head, “no, I don’t work tomorrow.”

Ben smiles, “good. We can talk tomorrow then.” Ben looks at something off screen and then back towards Gwil, “I’m glad you called. I miss you too. I look forward to tomorrow.”

Gwil smiles wide, “tomorrow.” Ben nods. “Nos da.”

Ben laughs, “is that Welsh?”

Gwil nods, “yes. Goodnight, Ben.”

“Night Gwil. Sleep well.”

Gwil ends the call just in time for him to get summoned back inside.

++++++++

Gwil opens his eyes and immediately closes them against the bright light shining in through his window. He groans and turns over onto his stomach. He reaches out for his phone to check the time. 

As soon as he sees the background picture on his phone he winces. It’s a picture of him with Joe, Rami, and Ben. It’s a lovely picture. Right now it just reminds him that he drunk dialed Ben last night. He can remember saying that he misses him and that he mentioned sex. He looks at the call time. It was only a couple minutes so he couldn’t have said too much. That’s also enough time to tell way too much though. Tell him things Gwil isn’t ready to say. Gwil very maturely decides to just pull the covers up and hide from all the embarrassing possibilities. 

Gwil has just gotten back with takeout he got for dinner when his phone starts ringing. He chews on his bottom lip when he sees Ben’s name. He also remembered about noon that Ben said he would call him when he woke up. This must be that phone call. Gwil sits down on the bed and takes a deep breath. He reminds himself that if he did tell Ben he has feelings for him, it will probably be better that they are out in the open. Regardless of if Ben has feelings for him too.

He smiles, answering the video call, “hey Ben!” He sees that Ben is obviously still in bed. His hair is adorably disheveled. 

Ben smiles, “hey there! How are you feeling?”

Gwil huffs a laugh, “somehow worse than this morning. Hangovers were much easier in my youth.”

Ben laughs loudly, “right. You’re so old now.” Ben rolls his eyes. “You were very charming last night.”

Gwil groans and falls to the side, burying his face against the pillows on the other side of the bed. He turns his head to look at the screen when he hears Ben laughing again. He can’t help smiling back at him.

Ben bites his lip, “it was adorable.” Gwil smiles wider. “I kind of miss drunk Gwil.”

Gwil rolls his eyes, “I’ve been told he’s rather annoying really.”

Ben shrugs, “I don’t think so. I definitely miss sober Gwil more.”

Gwil knows he’s blushing. He’s also relieved that Ben misses him. He smiles at Ben, “did I say anything else?”

Ben smirks, “you brought up sex.”

Gwil glups. “What did I say?”

Ben chuckles, “just that you don’t miss just the sex. Though I’m pretty sure if I was there last night I would have ended up with you in my bed.”

Gwil just stares at him, mouth gaping open for a bit. Ben just sits there smiling, waiting for Gwil to respond. Finally, Gwil just mumbles, “you are a good cuddler.”

Ben licks his lips and smiles, “you do keep me warm better than any blanket.” Ben looks down for a beat then back up at the screen, “I do enjoy any situation where you end up in my bed. Cuddling. Sex. Even just now. You’re not here, but you know what I mean.”

Gwil nods, “I do. I do.” Gwil takes a deep breath, “so how’s your movie?”

Ben shrugs, “good so far. Cast isn’t nearly as good as Borhap.” Ben winks. “How’s yours?”

Gwil smiles, “I agree about the cast. I love it here. While I don’t think I’ve quite made lifelong friends this time, everyone is wonderful. I still love the movie. Great scenery. We had a croc spotter on set a few days ago.”

“EXCUSE ME?” Ben looks shocked.

Gwil laughs loudly, “we were filming by water.”

Ben points at the screen, “you make sure they are doing their job! I can’t have you getting eaten by a crocodile.”

Gwil teases, “you’d really miss me then.”

Ben looks down, speaking softly, “don’t joke about that.”

Gwil swallows hard, “sorry.” He didn’t expect Ben to take his teasing that seriously. 

Ben looks up with what looks like a forced smile, “it’s okay.” He closes his eyes for a second, “I’m just… I don’t want to think about not having you in my life.”

Gwil blinks rapidly. He feels like maybe he could start crying. He doesn’t want to think about not having Ben in his life either. He sits up straighter. He says, “that’s not going to happen, Ben.” Ben just nods. Gwil tries to smile, “when do you have to be on set?”

Ben looks off to the side, “I should probably shower. I have about 20 minutes till I get picked up.”

Gwil nods, “I’ll let you go. Thanks for calling.”

Ben smiles, genuinely this time, “I told you I would.”

Gwil scrunches up his nose, “I sort of remember that.”

Ben laughs, “I’ll try calling again sometime soon.”

Gwil bites inside of his lip, “I’d like that. Bye Ben.”

Ben smiles, “talk to you later, Gwil.”

Gwil slides down in the bed, elated that Ben misses him too. Ben enjoys having Gwil in his bed, even when it’s not sex. He wonders if there’s a possibility that Ben feels the same way he does. Gwil mentally counts the number of days until he could possibly share a bed with Ben again. It’s more than a month until he could possibly feel Ben in his arms again. 

Gwil looks over at his food on the table, deciding it can wait. He thinks that he’ll get to talk to Ben on the phone more regularly now that it’s established they miss each other, even as just friends. The need to just talk to Ben is taken care of. Gwil slips his hand into his pants to take care of missing the feeling of Ben wrapped around him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gwil likes Ben!!!!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early April 2018
> 
> Rating applies to this chapter - sorry I’ve been bad about clarifying that

Ben sits forward on the seat and taps the cabby on the shoulder, “just let me out here.”

“Really? They should have it cleared soon.” There is an accident or something up ahead annoyingly creating a traffic jam in the middle of the night.

Ben gets some money out of his wallet, “I’m sure. It’s only a couple blocks.” Ben was extremely ready to get home. His flight had been delayed multiple times. That would be excessively frustrating in any situation. This time it made it so he didn’t get to have Gwil pick him up at the airport. When the flight got delayed the second time, he called Gwil to tell him not to come. Gwil tried to insist. Ben knew it would be past midnight and Gwil has an audition tomorrow. He doesn’t want to jeopardize that in any way for him.

It’s now about 3 am as Ben walks down the hall to their flat. He sees a note attached to the door. It’s Gwil’s handwriting

_ Ben, I want to greet you when you get home. I also want sleep. I’ve made a compromise to make both of those happen. My bed is open if you think it’s strange. _

_ -G _

Ben thinks he knows what he’s going to walk into. He unlocks the door and rolls his suitcase in as quietly as possible. He leaves the case by the door so he doesn’t make more noise. Using the light from his phone, he makes his way towards his bedroom. The door is cracked open. He looks behind him to Gwil’s room. The door is completely open. He turns off his phone light and walks into his room. There is just enough light from the windows to confirm that Gwil is sleeping in Ben’s bed. Ben chuckles to himself as he approaches the side of the bed. 

Gwil’s mouth is slightly open, his head has fallen to one side, hair flopped over his forehead, and his one arm is outstretched over the opposite side of the bed. Ben bites his lip thinking about how he could perfectly crawl up against Gwil’s side. Gwil would probably wrap his arm around Ben without even waking up. 

Ben is almost glad right now Gwil wasn’t able to pick him up. If Gwil had been there with his arms outstretched to hug him the second he saw Ben, Ben knows he would have started bawling. 

Looking down at Gwil, Ben realizes just now much he missed Gwil. He realizes the reason he missed Gwil so much. He wants to lean down and kiss Gwil’s parted lips. Instead, he uses his pinky finger to push the hair off his face. When Gwil doesn’t stir, Ben leans down, hovering just above Gwil’s forehead.

“I love you, Gwil.” Ben presses a kiss to Gwil’s forehead. 

Ben stands up and waits to see if Gwil moves. He knows he should say it to an awake Gwil for it to really count, but he feels lighter having said it. It could also just be from being back in Gwil’s company. 

Gwil doesn’t wake up so Ben goes back out to the living room. He grabs some clean boxer briefs and his toothbrush from his bag. He goes into the bathroom to clean himself and his teeth. He feels much better after washing the airplane off him. He smiles when he finds Gwil in the exact position as before he showered. 

Ben pulls back the covers and crawls into the other side of the bed. He hesitates for just a second before moving right against Gwil’s side. He puts his head on Gwil’s chest. Just as he predicted, Gwil’s arms wrap around him. Ben puts his hand around Gwil’s waist and nuzzles his face against Gwil, smiling.

Gwil suddenly jerks. His grip loosens slightly around Ben. Gwil must be awake now because Ben feels a kiss to the top of his head.

Ben pushes himself up slightly and smiles up at Gwil.

Gwil smiles wide, “Ben!” He kisses Ben’s forehead and then hugs Ben tight against him. Ben relaxes back against Gwil.

Gwil kisses Ben’s head again, “sorry I wasn’t at the airport.”

Ben is being hugged too tightly for him to move enough to look up at Gwil so he just kisses Gwil’s chest, “don’t be sorry. I told you to stay home.” Ben kisses Gwil’s chest again.

Gwil hums, “I’m glad you’re back.”

Ben smiles, “me too.”

“So...it’s alright I’m in your bed waiting?” Ben can hear how unsure Gwil still is about this even with Ben laying half on top of him.

Ben nods, “I would have been tempted to wake you up for a hug so this is perfect.”

“Good.” Gwil starts to play with the hair on the back of Ben’s head. “Ben?”

“Gwil?” Ben can’t help smiling.

Gwil yawns, “I’m sleepy.”

Ben laughs, “go back to sleep. We can talk after your audition.”

“Okay” Gwil keeps playing with Ben’s hair but his hand is moving slower and slower.

The motion is making Ben’s eyes feel heavy. He wants to push himself up and kiss Gwil. He tells himself he’ll do it in just a minute as his eyes fully close and he drifts off to sleep, finally back in Gwil’s arms. 

++++++++

  
  


Both Ben and Gwil have been home for two weeks. They’ve spent the majority of the time together as well. There have been multiple instances where Ben has been tempted to tell Gwil he loves him. Or kiss him. It's usually a hard decision which he wants to do more. 

The first evening they were both back, they sat on the sofa talking late into the night. They both ended up falling asleep out there. Ben woke up after an hour or so to Gwil trying to pick him up to carry him to bed. Ben woke up, threw off Gwil’s balance, and Gwil face planted into Ben’s chest back on the sofa. They both laughed so hard they were crying. Gwil was looking up at Ben from his chest and just looked so happy. Ben was about to cup his face when Gwil suddenly stood up and jokingly exclaimed Ben could get himself to bed now. Ben got ready for bed before padding over to Gwil’s room. Gwil was already under the covers with the lights off. Ben wasn’t sure if Gwil wanted him in there but he hadn’t shut the door. Ben walked around the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress. Gwil didn’t say anything, so Ben got under the covers. He got comfortable on his side with his back towards Gwil. He was laying there for just a moment before Gwil moved behind him, pulling Ben against his chest. Ben smiled and snuggled in against him. 

Ben could feel Gwil’s breath against the shell of his ear as he whispered, “Nos da, Ben.”

Ben smiled, remembering Gwil saying that at the end of the first of many phone calls from Australia, “goodnight, Gwil.” Gwil hummed contently behind him and Ben swore he felt the lightest kiss on the back of his neck as they fell asleep. 

Every couple days, one of them will wander into the other’s room and crawl in. Ben loves it. Even after they’ve spent the day together, Ben loves that Gwil will want to be around him throughout the night. Ben wants to ask Gwil to just stay with him every night. He really wants to ask him if they can date. That could get very complicated very fast with them already living together and being away so much. Ben was planning on asking Gwil about it two nights ago but some of Gwil’s friends ended up coming over for supper. One of them told Gwil he had a friend he wanted to set Gwil up, who apparently was perfect for Gwil now that he’s openly bi. Gwil responded that he wasn’t really looking to date right now so Ben changed his mind. He figured he would just take what Gwil would give him for now. Ben knows he’ll probably end up getting hurt in the end, but he thinks any Gwil is better than no Gwil. 

This morning though, Ben really wants the dirty side of Gwil. He wants to kiss him, feel the burn from his beard against his face. Probably could go for feeling it other places, too. The whole time Ben was working out, he kept picturing what Gwil’s muscles would look like doing the workout. He wonders if Gwil really would have been able to carry him. He was really glad he had the trainer with him today so he would get distracted before he thought about that too much and it was obvious to everyone else. 

Thinking about it now is making Ben feel hot everywhere. He needs to shower but is also hungry. He takes his shirt off and tosses it to the side, telling himself he’ll pick it up when he goes to shower. Ben opens the fridge door, leaning down to see what’s inside. The cool air feels nice against his hot skin. 

He startles when he feels hands rub over his abs and chest. He didn’t hear Gwil come in the front door but now hears Gwil practically growling in his ear.

“God, Ben.” Gwil kisses Ben’s neck, “what are you trying to do to me?”

Ben shuts the fridge and puts his hands on top of Gwil’s as he stands up straight, “I was just looking for a snack.” 

Gwil places another kiss on Ben's neck. This one open-mouthed, with Gwil lightly biting at Ben’s skin as he pulls away, “you are a snacc, as the youths say.”

Ben laughs and tries to turn around, but Gwil just tightens his arms around Ben. He walks them forward till Ben is pressed against the fridge. 

Gwil kisses along Ben’s shoulder, “is this okay?”

Ben tilts his head to give Gwil better access, “course it's okay.”

Gwil smiles against Ben’s skin, “can I do more?”

Ben nods vigorously, “do whatever you want to me.” Ben knows he sounds desperate but it’s very reflective of how he feels right now. His now hard cock is pressed between his stomach and the fridge. He really hopes whatever this more is that Gwil wants to do to him includes fucking him. 

“That’s a good Ben.” Gwil turns Ben’s head towards him and leans in to kiss him. Ben moans against Gwil’s mouth at the praise. Gwil uses the opportunity to lick into Ben’s mouth. They kiss passionately for a while. Everytime Ben tries to turn around, Gwil smiles against his mouth and shakes his head. 

The third time Ben tires turning around, Gwil breaks the kiss, “not yet.” Gwil kisses Ben again and pulls at Ben’s bottom lip with his teeth, “I have things to do with you facing this way.”

“Really? What things?”

Gwil leans in to whisper to Ben, his voice deeper than usual, “dirty things, Ben. Dirty, sexy things.” 

Ben’s cock twitches in his joggers. He swallows hard, “okay.” Ben faces the fridge again as Gwil starts to kiss and suck at his neck. 

Gwil’s hands and mouth suddenly leave him. Ben turns to look where he went. He sees him digging in his wallet by the small table next to the front door. He then jogs into his room. Ben wonders if he should follow. Just as he’s about to, Gwil calls out.

“Stay where you are and strip, if you please.”

Ben smiles at the request and disrobes as quickly as possible. Gwil comes back out just as Ben goes back to leaning against the fridge. He peeks over his shoulder to see a fully naked Gwil emerging from his room. Ben licks his lips. He definitely missed this part of Gwil too. 

Gwil grins, “we’ll get to that part in just a bit.” Gwil gets on his knees behind Ben. He kisses the small of Ben’s back. He brings his hands up, rubbing at Ben’s cheeks, separating them enough that he can rub his face between them.

Ben chuckles, looking over his shoulder, “are you motorboating..” 

His words turn into a loud moan as Gwil presses his tongue against his hole. Ben rests his forehead against the cool metal of the fridge. Gwil begins swirling his tongue around Ben’s hole before pressing the tip in slightly a few times. Ben keeps flexing his feet as Gwil loosens the muscle. Gwil runs the tips of his fingers up and down the back of Ben’s legs.

After he’s worked Ben with his mouth for a bit, Gwil puts lube on two of his fingers. He slowly pushes them into Ben. Ben slaps the door of the fridge when Gwil curls his fingers just right. Gwil picks up the pace he’s using to pump his fingers.

Ben is starting to pant a little bit, “Gwil...you’re amazing.”

Gwil smiles and kisses right above his fingers before licking around them. He keeps his mouth on Ben as he removes his fingers to add more lube to three of them. He works Ben with three fingers until they easily slide in and out. 

Gwil stands up to roll on the condom. He kisses Ben’s shoulder, “I’m going to make sure you’re loose enough then turn you around.”

Ben nods, he feels wet with anticipation that Gwil is going to be inside him again. His cock is leaking onto his stomach. He wonders if Gwil is going to try to make him come untouched again as he feels Gwil rubbing the head of his cock against him.

Gwil wraps one hand around Ben’s chest and he lines his cock up with the other. He slips in just the head before pulling back out, smiling as Ben spreads his legs more. He presses a little further in before pulling completely back out. He does it again, with just the slightest bit more.

Ben huffs, “really? 2 months without it isn’t enough?” Ben doesn’t mean to sound as frustrated as he does but he really wants to feel all of Gwil as soon as possible.

Thankfully, Gwil obliges and slides in completely. He kisses Ben’s neck, “so sorry Ben, is this better?”

Ben nods, “I know you know I missed you, but fuck I missed your cock.”

Gwil chuckles, “I’ve missed this too.” Gwil leans in to kiss Ben. They stand there, Gwil’s arms wrapped around Ben, with Ben holding Gwil’s arms, kissing for what could be a few minutes or an hour. Gwil wiggles his hips and breaks the kiss, “do you want to keep doing this or would you like me to fuck you?”

Ben smiles wide, “fuck me.” Ben is tempted to say they can kiss afterwards. Gwil slides out, which confuses Ben. “ahh what are you doing?”

Gwil smiles and grabs Ben’s hips. He turns Ben around and slightly squats in front of him, “arms on my shoulders, please.” 

Ben realizes what Gwil is going to do and quickly wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders. Gwil grabs the back of Ben’s legs. Ben jumps slightly to help Gwil bring his legs to his waist. Gwil steps forward to press Ben against the fridge. Ben tightens legs around Gwil’s waist. Gwil lifts Ben’s hips slightly and lines himself up again. He lowers Ben, slipping back into him.

Ben’s eyes flutter closer, “Gwil…you feel so good.”

Gwil slowly thrusts, testing the position. He talks low in Ben’s ear, “I’ll never get over how good you feel wrapped around me.”

Ben moans loudly as Gwil sucks on his neck, slowly thrusting in and out. Ben absolutely loves that Gwil can hold him like this. He loves how Gwil feels against him, his chest against Ben, his hands tightly gripping his hips, his head against Ben’s neck. He really just loves all of Gwil. 

Gwil lifts his head away from Ben and shifts him slightly. Just Ben’s shoulders are now pressed against the fridge. His hands are still on Gwil’s shoulders. 

Gwil starts to pick up his pace. Gwil is thrusting hard enough that the fridge is slightly lifting off the ground each time.

Ben whimpers. Gwil’s cock is hitting the perfect spot each time. Ben speaks between whimpers, “Gwil… fridge..neighbors will hear.”

Gwil kisses Ben roughly, “I don’t care.” He thrusts faster, “they can hear. They can watch.” Gwil sucks on Ben’s bottom lip, “you feel too good for me to care.”

Ben moans, “fuck Gwil.”

Gwil smirks, “you want me to touch you?”

Ben quickly nods.

Gwil moans, “I’ve missed how pretty you look when you come.”

Ben whines, “make me come then.”

Gwil kisses Ben as he wraps his hand around his cock. He pumps Ben quickly. Ben knows he’s going to come any moment. Gwil’s hips are getting irregular, so Ben thinks he’s getting closer as well. Ben grips onto the handle of the freezer. He tighten his grip as Gwil starts to flick his hips at he thrusts all the way in, hitting Ben even deeper. 

It feels like all Ben’s muscles tighten quickly before his orgasm hits him hard. Ben accidently pushes his hand out that’s holding the freezer handle and the bottom detaches a bit. Ben is about to laugh but hears Gwil groan as he keeps fucking into him. 

Gwil cries out “Ben” and spills into the condom. He steps in closer to the fridge and Ben wraps his arms tightly around Gwil’s shoulders again. Gwil slowly lifts Ben off him before lowering him to the ground. 

Gwil rests his forehead against Ben’s. He is breathing heavily, “I’ll handle any complaints from the neighbors.”

Ben laughs, “good. I’m not explaining it.”

Gwil smiles, “they probably know what was happening.”

Ben pushes up and kisses Gwil quickly, “you can explain about the handle to the landlord too.”

Gwil looks at the slightly broken handle like he’s just realizing what happened. He smiles back at Ben, “I’ll tell him you were walking around half naked and it just happened.”

Ben laughs, “my nakedness broke the fridge?”

Gwil shrugs, “pretty much.”

Ben playfully pushes Gwil away, “I should get dressed before you break anything else.”

Gwil grabs at Ben’s hips, tickling him, “you broke it.”

Ban giggles, “you made me break it.” Ben tries to twist away from Gwil but Gwil gets his arms around him. Ben puts his arms arounds Gwil’s neck. He smiles up at Gwil. Gwil lowers his hands to rest on Ben’s ass. Ben shakes his head laughing, “you going for round two?”

Gwil leans in to kiss Ben. Gwil kisses him slower than before they had sex. Ben plays with the hair on the back of Gwil’s head as their mouths move together.

Gwil pulls back, “I was going to go get groceries but give me a few minutes and we can go again.” Gwil rolls off the condom, tying it off before throwing it in the bin. 

Ben walks into his room and gets one of the condoms and some more lube out of his dresser. Gwil is sitting on the sofa when he comes back out. Ben walks up, tosses the items next to Gwil, and straddles him, folding his arms behind his neck. Ben kisses him softly, “I’ll do the work this time.” 

Ben kisses him again. They continue kissing, building in intensity, until they are grabbing at each other. Ben is practically already riding Gwil. 

Ben lifts his hips enough as they keep kissing so Gwil can put on a condom. He rubs some lube over himself. Ben replaces Gwil’s hand with his own and lowers himself onto Gwil’s dick. Ben rides Gwil hard. Gwil quickly unravels below him, biting onto Ben’s shoulder as he comes inside him. 

Gwil lifts Ben off him and onto his back on the cushions so he can take Ben into his mouth to finish him off again. Ben thinks he might be able to come a third time when he watches Gwil swallow his load.

Gwil wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand. He then comically faceplants on Ben’s chest.

Ben laughs loudly, shaking both of them. He cards his hand through Gwil’s hair. He kisses the tops of Gwil’s head, “you ready to go to the store?”

Gwil huffs a laugh, “I’m gonna need a minute.”

Ben chuckles as he plays with Gwil’s hair, “take all the time you need.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s chest, “thanks.”

Ben smiles. He could really spend all day here. Maybe even longer. Though he supposes they will need food or water eventually. Not yet though. He runs then fingers not in Gwil’s hair down his spine. Gwil shivers and Ben laughs.

“Sorry, Gwil.” 

Gwil mumbles into Ben’s chest, “I don’t think you are.”

Ben hums, “no. I’m really not.”

Gwil turns his head to playfully bite Ben’s peck.

“Hey!” Ben cries out, “I’ve already got one bit mark from you.”

Gwil pushes himself up enough to look at Ben’s shoulder, “I am sorry about that.” Gwil softly kisses the red mark.

Ben smiles, “don’t be.”

Gwil kisses Ben quickly, “still am.”

Ben laughs, “alright.”

Gwil settles back against his chest, “can I nap?”

Ben kisses the top of his head again, “you can, but I’m not doing the shopping alone.”

Gwil looks up at him and smiles, “you’ll come with?”

“Course I will.” Ben leans down to kiss Gwil. “You’re showering first though.”

Gwil laughs loudly, “fine but you need one too.”

Gwil stands and extends his hand to Ben to help him up. Ben takes it, “we can’t fuck in the shower right now or we’ll get evicted for sure.”

Gwil shakes his head, “I need food before we go again.”

Ben lets Gwil lead him to the shower. He bites his lip trying not to be too excited that Gwil seems to already be planning the next time they’ll sleep together.

++++++++

After they eat supper together at home, Ben sits down on the sofa to find something to watch. It’s later than either of them would usually eat but they had snacks in the afternoon after all the sex and shopping. Gwil comes into the living room. His eyes look very tired. He gets on his knees on the sofa and then lays face down in Ben’s lap.

Ben laughs lightly, “this reminds me of earlier.” Gwil mumbles something incoherent. Ben laughs, “didn’t quite catch that.”

Gwil turns so he’s facing the TV, “‘m too tired.”

“Alright. This is nice too.” Ben plays with Gwil’s hair. Ben flips through the channels till he finds some rugby playing. He looks down at Gwil. He has the sudden realization that Gwil had a condom in his wallet. He wonders how long Gwil has had it there. Was it a recent addition? Did he have it with him in case he met someone when he was in Australia? Ben can’t not know who Gwil put it there for. If it’s not him, he wants to know now before he falls even more in love with Gwil.

He screws his eyes shut tightly, “Gwil?” Gwil just hums in response. “Why’d you have a condom in your wallet?” Ben feels Gwil turn in his lap. He opens his eyes to look down at him.

Gwil rubs his fingers up and down Ben’s arm, “I’m not sure if you noticed earlier but I need to be prepared at a moment’s notice around here.”

Ben smiles tentatively, “okay.” Ben still wonders if he should ask if Gwil has had sex with anyone else. 

Gwil sits up and then stands in front of Ben, “are you tired?”

Ben nods, “a little.”

Gwil extends his hand to Ben, “I’m exhausted.” Ben looks at Gwil’s hand. “Will you come sleep with me?”

Ben looks up at Gwil and smiles, “I can do that.”

Gwil smiles brightly, “good.” He helps Ben stand up. He leans in like he’s going to kiss Ben on the lips, but kisses his forehead instead.

Ben lets out a deep breath. He decides that he doesn’t think Gwil is the type to sleep around and then invite Ben into his bed just for sleeping. He also doesn’t know when Gwil would have had time to be sleeping with anyone else. Gwil called him practically every night and was filming on the nights he didn’t. 

Ben lays down facing Gwil. Gwil seems to be studying his face with a soft smile.

Ben feels himself blushing, “what?”

Gwil shakes his head, “nothing.” He reaches out and pulls Ben against him. He turns onto his back, holding Ben against his chest. 

Gwil kisses Ben’s head, “nos da, Ben.”

Ben lifts his head to look at Gwil, “goodnight, Gwil.” Ben watches Gwil watch him. There’s barely any light but he can see Gwil’s eyes flick down to his lips a couple times. Ben feels like if they kiss now, it’s crossing the line into more than just friends. Ben’s heart already has but he’s yet to say that outloud. Gwil tilts his head the slightest bit. Ben wonders if he’s waiting for him to make the next move. Ben is just about to but remembers Gwil saying he isn’t looking to date anyone. 

Ben quickly just kisses Gwil’s cheek and lays back on his chest. After a moment’s hesitation, Gwil’s arms wrap around him.

Ben listens to Gwil’s breathing slow as he falls asleep. Ben lays there antagonizing if he made the right move. He tries to tell himself the kiss was just enough affection to show Gwil he’s interested in him. It’s also not too much if Gwil still thinks of him as a friend. 

Ben tries not to groan in frustration. He tells himself he just should have bloody kissed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry nothing really happened in this chapter...😉
> 
> [here](https://spacedustmazzello.tumblr.com/post/190867531517/moodboard-for-everything-still-to-come-for-my-ao3) is a moodboard for the rest of the story


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating applies to this chapter
> 
> Takes place early May 2018

Ben shifts on the sofa and groans a little. He’s anxious for Gwil to get back from visiting his family. Ben had been on hold for the last couple weeks, just waiting to hear if he’s landed a role that would start filming immediately. He got the call this morning and is flying out early tomorrow. He text Gwil midday to tell him he was leaving the next morning. Gwil called back to congratulate him, saying he’d just say goodbye to everyone and be home. Ben told him to stay but is now regretting that decision.

Ben is reading the script again, taking notes on his part, and trying to decide if he’s hungry enough to eat supper when the door opens. He looks over his shoulder and smiles at Gwil, “hey.”

Gwil walks up behind the sofa. He leans over so his head is right next to Ben’s. He kisses his cheek, “congrats on the role. You deserve it. Your tape was excellent.”

Ben looks at him. His cheek feels like it’s burning where Gwil kissed him. “Thanks.”

Gwil smiles and wiggles his eyebrows, “have you eaten?” Ben shakes his head. Gwil smiles, “are you eating more than steamed chicken today?”

Ben rolls his eyes, “yes.”

Gwil tosses a tupperware container onto Ben’s lap of leftovers from his sister’s house. 

Ben picks it up and examines the contents. He smiles wide as Gwil plops himself down next to him, “thanks. You didn’t stay for supper?

  
Gwil leans his head back against the back of the sofa, “it’s your last night.” Gwil shifts over so he can blow a raspberry on Ben’s cheek.

Ben laughs loudly, wiping the spit off his face. He decides now is as good a time as any to show Gwil the surprise he has for him. He looks down at the food on his lap, “I’m not really hungry right now.” Gwil picks up the container. Ben bites his lip, “just put it on the table.” 

Ben points to the coffee table. After Gwil sets it down and leans back again, Ben twists so he’s straddling Gwil’s lap. Gwil immediately places his hands on Ben’s hips as Ben leans in to kiss Gwil’s neck, “I’ve got a surprise for you.” Ben moves his mouth closer to Gwil’s ear, “though it might not be as ready as it would have been for you. Thought you were getting home later.”

Gwil moans as Ben sucks on his skin. He runs his hands up and down Ben’s sides, “what is it?”

Ben moves one of Gwil’s hands to his lower back, “see if you can figure it out.”

Gwil quickly sides his hand down to find the end of the plug Ben is wearing, “god Ben.” Gwil pushes the plug softly, causing Ben to whimper, “you’re so good to me. You gonna be good for me?”

Ben rolls his hips against Gwil as he moves the plug around, “yes.”

Gwil runs his fingers through Ben’s hair, slightly pulling at it to guide Ben into a kiss. Gwil pulls back, “I need lube.”

“Behind the pillow.” Ben kisses along Gwil’s jaw.

Gwil leans over, his arm wrapped around Ben’s back so Ben moves with him, as he pulls the bottle from where Ben had it waiting. 

Gwil smirks, “dirty Ben.” He kisses Ben roughly, “take your clothes off.

Ben stands up in front of Gwil, slowly taking his shirt and trousers off. Gwil slides his own off, along with his boxers. Gwil leans forward to kiss along Ben’s lower stomach as he pulls Ben’s boxer briefs down. 

Gwil takes his shirt off and leans back, “turn around for me.” 

Ben slowly turns his back to Gwil, looking over his shoulder to watch his expression. 

Gwil just stares at the small, black end of the silicone plug with his hand over his mouth. He looks up at Ben, “you’re going to be the death of me Jones.”

Ben thinks the adoration Gwil is looking at his face with doesn’t really match what they are about to do. Ben turns back around and lets Gwil pull him back onto his lap. Ben leans in to kiss Gwil, their mouths well practiced at moving together.

Gwil takes the plug out of Ben as they kiss. He lubes up three fingers, easily sliding them into Ben. He kisses along his collar bone, “you’re all open for me. I like fingering you though.” Gwil curls his fingers hard against Ben, “moving just a few fingers and making you call out my name.”

Ben moans, his head falling back, “Gwil.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s chest, “I do suppose this gives us more time for multiple rounds. Do you want that Ben?”

“Yes.” Ben nods, “fuck me Gwl.”

Gwil moves his mouth to Ben’s nipple, flattening his tongue against it. He looks up at Ben’s face, “how do you want me to fuck you first?”

Ben grinds against his fingers, “need it now.”

Gwil hums, “I like that. You have condoms on hand too?”

Ben reaches behind the throw pillow and hands him one.

Gwil cups Ben’s face, kissing him softly, “such a good boy.”

Gwil puts on the condom before Ben slides onto his cock. Gwil holds onto Ben’s hips, helping Ben grind against him quickly until they both get off. 

They move to Ben’s bed for round two, Ben on his back this time as Gwil fucks slow and deep. Ben clutching at Gwil’s back as he pants his name. 

They lay in bed for a while after. Gwil lays on Ben’s chest as he tells him about all the family drama he learned at his sister’s earlier in the day. 

When they get up to shower, Gwil starts kisses Ben’s neck before they even start washing up. He talks low in Ben’s ear, “you make me insatiable. I’d take you again right now.”

Ben turns around, wrapping his arms around Gwil’s neck, “We don’t have a condom.” He kisses Gwil. He has wanted to feel all of Gwil for a while. What he wants to try would also give Ben an answer he’s been looking for for a while. He runs a hand down Gwil’s chest, “I’ve been tested. I’m clean. And well... there’s no one else.”

Gwil kisses Ben deeply, putting his hand on the back of Ben’s neck, tilting his head to deepen it more. Gwil pulls back, resting his forehead on Ben’s, “same here.”

Ben smiles softly, “fuck me again then.” Ben turns around for Gwil, bracing himself with his hands against the wall of the shower.

Gwil curls over Ben’s back. He kisses him as he lines himself up and slides in past the tight muscle. Gwil pumps into him at a pace somewhere between their other two times tonight. Gwil reaches around to wrap his hand around Ben’s cock.

Ben moans loudly, “fill me, Gwil. Come in me.” Ben groans loudly as he feels Gwil spill inside him. Ben is about to come himself, but suddenly Gwil’s hand is no longer around him. Gwil lifts off Ben’s back and moves to his knees. Gwil licks and sucks at Ben, cleaning up as much of his come as he can. Ben jerks himself to completion as Gwil works at him with his mouth and fingers. 

They actually wash themselves before Gwil wraps Ben in a towel and leads him into his room. Gwil pulls back the covers and kisses Ben’s shoulder. Ben crawls into Gwil’s bed, quickly followed by Gwil.

Gwil grabs the towel from Ben, tossing it to the side with his own, “I’ll wash those tomorrow after I take you to the airport. I’ll wash your sheets as well.”

Ben smiles wide. He was just going to call a ride to the airport but Gwil taking him is even better. Ben turns onto his side. 

Gwil moves in behind him. He kisses the side of Ben’s neck, “Nos da.”

Ben is hit with a sudden wave of sadness that it’s his last night to sleep with Gwil for a while. He tries to keep that sadness out of his voice as he says, “goodnight, Gwil.”

Ben wakes up a few hours later. He turns around in Gwil’s arms so he can face him. He moves some hair off Gwil’s face. He waits to see if Gwil wakes up. He smiles thinking about when he first got back and Gwil was waiting in his bed. Gwil was so happy to see him. 

Ben licks his lips, “I love you Gwil.” Gwil still doesn’t wake up. Ben takes a deep breath, speaking quietly, “I know I should tell you this when you’re awake. I just can’t yet...I love you in a way that’s not going away anytime soon.” Ben picks at the edge of the blankets. “I haven’t felt this before.” Ben looks up trying to stop the building tears. “Sometimes I’m about to tell you because I think you might at least like me back…Then you’ll say something or do something and I’m not sure...Being around you...I feel like myself in a way I don’t around a lot of people. You seem to like that person, too. I can’t lose that if you don’t want me back...I haven’t told you how much I’ll miss you because it already hurts...I’m sure someday I’ll blurt out that I’m in love with you. If I could talk during sex, I probably would have already. I hope for now you know I love you as a friend too.” Ben sighs and kisses Gwil’s forehead. He thinks he’s about to start sobbing. He sits up so he can better hide it if Gwil wakes up.

Gwil shifts so he’s hugging Ben’s lap. Ben can’t help running his finger along Gwil’s jaw. Gwil stirs then looks up at Ben, blinking a few times.

Ben smiles softly, “you looked sweet sleeping.”

Gwil grabs Ben’s hand and kisses it, “go back to sleep.” Gwil puts his head back down on Ben’s lap.

“Gwil?” Ben waits to see if Gwil responds. 

Gwil sits up. Ben laughs when Gwil drapes his legs over his lap. Gwil leans his head in close to Ben, “yes?”

“I, umm.” Ben swallows hard.

Gwil rests his head against Ben’s, “I’m going to miss you, Ben. If that’s what you were going to say.”

Ben nods, “yeah. I will miss you so much.” 

“Good.” Gwil laughs lightly when Ben pouts. “Not GOOD. But I’m glad I’m not alone.”

Ben thinks this would be a good time to see if he’s alone in his feelings. Would it be more awkward if he says it and Gwil doesn’t say it back then Ben leaves for a month? Would that be better? What if Gwil does say it back and Ben has to immediately leave?

Gwil kisses Ben’s jaw, “let’s get some sleep.” He whispers in Ben’s ear, “lay down with me, Ben.” He kisses Ben’s cheek before he lays down.

Ben lays back down as well, letting Gwil pull him onto his chest. Ben just can’t not do what Gwil wants. Gwil doesn’t seem to be about to profess any feelings but he also said he hasn’t been with anyone else. Ben doesn’t really know if they are just friends with benefits anymore but whatever is happening seems to be monogamous. Ben squeezes Gwil. Gwil hugs him back and kisses the top of his head. Ben can keep his feelings to himself for a little bit longer.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joe’s coming to visit next chapter!! 
> 
> I may have started crying when Ben did. 
> 
> [here](https://spacedustmazzello.tumblr.com/post/190867531517/moodboard-for-everything-still-to-come-for-my-ao3) is a moodboard for the rest of the story. I know I linked it in the last chapter, but I like it and made like 800 versions better settling on this one


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place June 2018.
> 
> Rating applies to this chapter.

Gwil shuts off the light before crawling into his bed. He thinks Ben may have fallen asleep while he was brushing his teeth. Gwil smiles and turns on his side. Ben looks so lovely and peaceful right now. Gwil wants to kiss him. He doesn’t think Ben would be phased by this either. They’ve become a lot more affectionate with each other, even when they aren’t having sex.

The last time they were both at home, Ben wandered into Gwil’s room a few nights after he was back and just slept in there. Now with both of them being home again, it’s a rare occasion they don’t sleep in the same bed. Even when they don’t have sex first, also rare, they end up sleeping next to each other. Gwil doesn’t know when Ben is going to want to stop having sex, like when he might meet someone he’s interested in, so Gwil is just going to keep touching Ben while he can. Gwil can’t help pulling him into cuddle. The sex is amazing but Gwil would also take just getting to hold him.

Gwil had a dream a couple months ago that Ben told him he loves him. Gwil would really like that to come true. It snuck up on him, but he’s completely fallen for Ben. He occasionally thinks the dream isn’t that far off from happening. Those little affections they share keep happening, and Ben always seems to want to be close to Gwil. Gwil was reading on the sofa last week. Ben came up and sat down next to him before turning sideways and leaning back against Gwil’s arm. He didn’t even move when Gwil rested his head against the back of his. Ben had a phone call about contract negotiations he was very stressed about. He pulled Gwil down to sit next to him while it took place. Gwil has gotten in the habit of kissing Ben on the shoulder whenever he’s trying to move around him at the bathroom sink or in the kitchen. Gwil had some free time one day and started doing some of the items on Ben’s to-do list on the refrigerator. Ben kissed him as a thank you. Ben also seems to always find a way to touch Gwil, even when it’s not necessary. If they go to bed without having sex, Gwil always wants to kiss Ben goodnight. They usually do, but not on the lips.

If Ben does have feelings in return for Gwil, he worries he knows something that is stopping Ben from saying anything. One of Gwil’s friends wanted to set him up. Gwil didn’t miss the slight frown that crossed Ben’s face. It didn’t seem like the appropriate time to say, “well I’ve been fucking one of my best friends and roommate. I went ahead and fell in love with him, so I don’t think I’ll be dating anyone else.” While it wasn’t wrong, Gwil saying he wasn’t looking to date someone wasn’t exactly right either. They’ve both confirmed neither of them are sleeping with anyone else. Gwil wonders if their relationship will be more clear on it’s own when Joe comes to visit tomorrow. 

Gwil runs his thumb over Ben’s cheekbone, whispering, “Ben.” Ben moves slightly and makes a noise of acknowledgement. “Where are we going to put Joe?”

Ben opens his eyes, “huh?”

Gwil smiles at how adorably confused he looks, “when he comes tomorrow. Where is he sleeping?”

Ben snuggles back into the pillow, “no one is staying with us and we’re in one bed. Put him in mine.”

Gwil bites his lip, trying not to smile too much, “I didn’t know if he’d want to sleep with you.” Gwil does consider Joe to be a very good friend, but does think he and Ben are the slightest bit closer. When Joe calls, it's usually to Ben and then Ben puts him on speaker.

Ben makes a sleepy grumbling noise. He pushes at Gwil’s shoulder till Gwil lays on his back. Ben lays his head down on Gwil’s chest, “I sleep with you.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s head and wraps his arms around him. He loves how Ben said that like it’s obvious. He wants to ask Ben if they are going to kiss in front of Joe or anything. He tries whispering Ben’s name again. He laughs to himself when there’s no response. He mouths “I love you” against Ben’s hair before he kisses him again. 

++++++++

Gwil holds the door open for Joe. Joe practically runs into the flat. He looks from side to side before he turns around and pouts to Gwil.

Joe huffs, “there’s no Ben.”

Gwil tries not to laugh, “I told you he might not be back yet. He’s probably still at the photoshoot. I promise he still loves you.” Gwil fails at holding back his laughter.

Joe makes a face but his eyes give away that he partly appreciates Gwil saying that, “I guess the Ben-less flat is okay. Any of this your stuff?” Joe points around the living room.

Gwil nods, “yeah. After I decided not to look for a place of my own, Ben made sure I put some of my stuff out here so it felt like both of ours.”

Joe grins, “so, what’s a guy gotta do to get a drink around here.” He throws himself down on the sofa.

Gwil laughs loudly, “do you want water? Tea? Something harder?”

Joe taps his fingers on his chin, “as much as I love a good tea, I was thinking something harder.” Joe gets up to follow Gwil into the kitchen.

Gwil is looking in the fridge when Joe comes in, “we’ve got...nothing.” He goes to look in the cabinet, “I’ve got some Scotch and Gin. We could also wait for Ben and go to a pub.”

“We can also do both. Scotch, please.”

Gwil chuckles, “isn’t it like 8 am for you? There are some whisky stones in the freezer, do you mind?” Gwil gets two glasses out of the next cabinet.

Joe sighs, “the man next to me wouldn’t shut up.” Joe opens the freezer and notices the bottom of the handle is detached. He looks over to Gwil, who’s got very red cheeks. He narrows his eyes, “what happened here?”

Gwil scratches his beard, “Ben broke it. Those muscles aren’t for show.”

Joe cackles, “no. I guess not.”

They sit in the living room, catching up while also waiting for Ben to get home. When he does, Joe immediately bolts for him. Gwil follows at a slower pace.

Joe pulls Ben into a tight hug. 

Ben makes a slight strangled noise, “Joe...my ribs.” Joe loosens his grip. Ben claps him on the shoulder, still hugging him, “how are you, buddy?”

Joe sways Ben back and forth, “okay. Better now.” Joe lets go of Ben, “how are you?”

Ben smiles wide, he steps around Joe to give Gwil a side hug, “I’m great! I’m going on holiday with my mates.” Ben bites his lip, “I got a call right before I walked in the building. I got the Michael Bay movie.”

“Oh Ben! Congratulations!” Says Gwil. Without thinking, he cups Ben’s face and pulls him in for a kiss. When he pulls back, Ben’s eyes are huge but he’s smiling. He looks over Ben’s head to Joe. Joe’s mouth is hanging completely open. Gwil drops his hands from Ben’s face.

Joe laughs a little, “what was that?” 

Gwil puts his hands behind his back. He wants to say well, I’m in love with him and I’m very happy for him. He leaves the first part off though. He smirks at Joe, “I’d kiss you too if your agent called right now. You want me to do it anyways?” Ben laughs as Gwil walks over to Joe with his hands up to cup his face. Gwil is relieved that Ben thinks it’s funny.

Joe pushes Gwil’s hands away from him, “I don’t want your pity kisses.”

Ben walks up to Joe too, wrapping his arms around one of Joe’s arms and puts his head on Joe’s shoulder, “do you want both of us to kiss you?” Ben hovers his lips over Joe’s cheek.

Gwil leans in to put his face right next to Joe’s other cheek.

Joe rolls his eyes, “I hate both of you. Can we feed Joe now?”

Ben laughs, “I can’t believe you rejected us. I guess we’ll still take you to supper.” He smiles over at Gwil. 

“Where’s your bathroom?” Joe looks towards the door to Gwil’s room.

Ben points to the correct door, “that one. Or you can go through my room. We can put your suitcase in there.”

“Thanks. I’ll be just a minute.” Joe rolls his suitcase into Ben’s room.

Gwil grabs Ben’s wrist and pulls him in close. He talks quietly, “congratulations again. I’m so happy for you.” Ben holds onto Gwil’s wrists as Gwil cups his face again and kisses him softly. 

Ben smiles, “thanks.” Ben swallows and licks his lips, “I’ll miss press for BoRhap.”

Gwil kisses his forehead, “don’t think about that right now. Just be happy.” Gwil hears the sink running so he drops his hands from Ben. He was really looking forward to traveling the world with Ben. He looks at Ben and thinks he might be thinking the same thing.

++++++++

Joe is outside the restaurant. Their table wasn’t quite ready so he excused himself to go outside and call his mom. She didn’t answer so he called Rami. He turns around towards the restaurant while it rings. He can see Gwil and Ben talking. He shakes his head wondering if they realize how obvious they are. 

Rami answers, “hey babe! How are you?”

Joe smiles at how excited Rami sounds, “I’d be better if you were here but I think I’ll have enough entertainment.” Joe watches as Gwil pushes some of the hair back from Ben’s face. He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Oh yeah? Hold on a sec, Joe.” Joe hears some shuffling around and then it’s quieter on Rami’s end, “sorry, I’m in my trailer now. What’s going on?”

Joe laughs, “well I’m 90% sure that Ben and Gwil broke the fridge fucking.”

Rami is silent for a moment then loudly says, “WHAT? NO!”

“You wanna bet?”

“That’s not fair when you can see them and I can’t.”

Joe nods, “good point. You’ll see them during press. Or whatever part of it Ben can come to now. He got a movie.”

Rami makes an excited noise, “pass on my congratulations.”

“I’m pretty sure Gwil will congratulate him enough. They are in love.” Joe watches Ben lean against Gwil. 

“We’ll see. Hey guess what?” 

Joe thinks Rami sounds really happy, “what?”

“Well speaking of love. I love you. But I need to go back to set.”

Joe looks at the ground smiling, “I love you too.”

“Good. Now go spy on our friends some more.”

Joe laughs, “I’ll report back tomorrow.”

Rami grins, “thanks. I’ll talk to you then.”

++++++++

Gwil thinks getting Joe to stay in Ben’s room alone was a lot easier than he was expecting it to be. Joe usually wants to be in the center of everything. He thought for sure either Ben or him would be sleeping alone. He wouldn’t have been surprised if they all ended up in the same bed either. Though with Ben unable to stay still tonight. He keeps tossing and turning. Maybe he should have let Ben stay with him. Then Ben turns over and smiles at him and Gwil thinks he was being stupid. Of course he wants Ben in his bed. 

Ben huffs, “I’ve never been more horny in my entire life.”

“Ben!” Gwil laughs loudly, “it’s been…” he rolls over to look at the clock, “23 hours since we had sex.”

Ben moves closer to him, “I’m used to it being at least once a day. We are going to be sharing a room with Joe. We won't be able to.” Ben hooks a leg over Gwil’s. Gwil smirks at Ben knowing exactly what Ben is doing. “Plus you’re right here. You smell good. You look good.” Ben swiftly moves so he’s laying on top of Gwil, straddling his hips. “You’re so kind. You’re so sweet.”

Gwil gently holds Ben’s hips. He can’t help the grin on his face. Or all the blood rushing to his groin. “Joe is here.”

Ben’s tongue darts out over his lips. He rolls his hips. His voice is deeper as he speaks right next to Gwil’s ear, “you haven’t felt what it feels like when you’re bare and inside me. I can feel all your ridges. And when you come in me.” Ben nips at Gwil’s ear, “I need you, Gwil.”

Gwil thinks Joe might already be onto them. He also can’t really resist Ben when he’s not trying to seduce him. Ben rolls his hips against Gwil again. Gwil smiles and shakes his head, “you can’t make any noise.” Ben cuts him off with a rough kiss. Gwil moves his head after a moment, breaking the kiss, “we are doing it in a position that won’t be obvious if Joe walks in.” Gwil pushes at Ben’s hip so he can get up. 

Ben falls onto the bed beside him, “we should have put Joe in here. Your door can’t lock and mine does on accident.”

Gwil nods in agreement as he tosses some lube to Ben. He turns the lamp next to the bed on. He rummages around in his dresser drawer. He finds a tie he doesn’t like any more and hands it to Ben.

“Oh!” Ben smirks, “cause this will be super casual if Joe walks in.”

Gwil grabs it back, “alright fine, you have a good point.”

“Save that idea for a different time though.” Ben winks at him.

Gwil gets back under the covers with Ben, “face the window.” Ben starts to turn. “Wait!” Gwil stops him and pulls him into a kiss. They kiss for a while, their hands starting to wander. Gwil strokes Ben a bit. Ben starts to whimper against Gwil’s mouth. Gwil pulls back. He shakes his head, “if you make noise, I’m going to stop.”

Ben’s eyes get darker, “fuck me now.”

Gwil smirks, “it’s time to be quiet now.” Ben nods and turns away from Gwil. He hands Gwil the lube over his shoulder. Gwil pulls Ben’s boxer briefs down just enough to reach his hole. Gwil curls around Ben’s back. He makes sure to talk only loud enough for Ben to hear, “I’d rim you but I know you’d never stay quiet. I can’t wait to feel you wrapped around my cock.”

Gwil lubes up a finger and presses the pad against Ben’s hole, but not pushing in yet, “your ass is so firm, I can barely get to you.” Gwil slowly presses his finger into Ben. He props up his head up on his elbow so he can watch Ben’s profile. His mouth falls open as Gwil pushes his finger in deeper, curling it a bit. 

Ben starts biting on his fingers by the time Gwil is three fingers deep in him. Gwil sucks on Ben’s neck, just where he knows Ben likes. He’s surprised Ben hasn’t made any noise yet. He’s being so good. Gwil decides to tell him that.

He kisses right below Ben’s ear, “you’re being so good for me. I’m going to fuck you now. How do you want it?” Ben just lays here, breathing heavily. Gwil smiles and kisses his neck again, “you’re so good, Ben. But tell me. Fast or slow.”

Ben turns his head to look at Gwil. His eyes are hooded. Gwil thinks he already looks pretty fucked out. Ben just shakes his head very slowly from side to side. 

Gwil smiles, “slow then?” Ben nods. Gwil leans into kiss him, “slow it is. You want my hand on your cock slow, too.” Ben bites his lip and nods. Gwil kisses him again, “such a good boy.”

Gwil moves behind Ben. He rubs some lube over himself and lines up. He starts to push in but slips. He reaches around Ben and moves one of his knees a little closer to his chest. He slides in easily now. He groans softly in Ben’s ear, “fuck, Ben. You feel perfect.” He kisses Ben’s shoulder as he starts to slowly thrust into him. Ben pushes his hips back against Gwil’s. 

Gwil moves one hand under Ben’s head and rests it on his chest. He thrusts deeper a few times before he wraps a hand around Ben’s leaking cock. Ben’s eyelids are fluttering as he chews on his bottom lip. Gwil makes up for Ben’s lack of noises by talking dirty to him, “Ben…fuck...being inside you...I want to come instantly everytime...you’re so good...I want to give you everything.”

Ben suddenly turns his head and pulls Gwil in for a kiss. Gwil takes his hand off Ben’s dick to hold Ben’s face against his as they kiss more.

Gwil needs to be closer to Ben, be able to look at his face. He slides out of Ben. He moves some pillows to sit against the headboard. Ben looks at him confused. Gwil holds his hand out to Ben. Ben takes it and Gwil pulls him onto his lap. Ben must realize what Gwil wants. He reaches behind himself and holds Gwil’s cock so he can lower himself onto it. Gwil wraps his arms around Ben’s back, holding him tight against his chest. Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders and has one hand in Gwil’s hair. They kiss the best they can as they move together. Ben is starting to clench around him. Gwil knows his orgasm isn’t far off. He reaches between them, wrapping his hand back around Ben. Ben rest his head against Gwil’s, watching as Gwil jerks him. Ben gasps as he comes over Gwil’s fingers. Gwil holds Ben closer as he gives a few more thrusts before coming inside Ben. 

Ben stays on Gwil’s lap. They kiss slowly for a while. Ben lifts himself off Gwil and lays down on the bed. Gwil moves to lay on top of him, pushing the hair off his face. He kisses him quickly, “stay here. I’ll get you a washcloth.”

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil, “stay with me for a minute.”

Gwil smiles and kisses him again. He laces his fingers together on top of Ben’s head, “I’m so proud of you. This new movie is going to be so good for you.”

Ben smiles hesitantly, “I hope so.”

Gwil nods, smiling until Ben smiles bigger, “come on. You know it will be.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s chin, “I can’t wait for the BoRhap premiere. See how wonderful you are in it.” 

Gwil blushes, “I’m only good because I have good screen partners.”

Ben lightly rolls his eyes, “let me compliment you.”

Gwil smiles, “thank you, Ben.”

Ben smiles, “hey Gwil?”

Gwil kisses him gently, “yes, Ben?”

Ben bites his lip, “I need a washcloth.”

Gwil chuckles, “be right back.” He gives Ben a quick peck, finds his boxers, and sneaks out into the living room. 

++++++++

Gwil is about to fall asleep as he feels Ben’s foot rubbing up and down his calf. He doesn’t think much of it. He just figures Ben is trying to get comfortable or is being lightly affectionate. He didn’t think Ben was quite ready to fall asleep when they all went to bed, but with them all being in one room it was hard for him to stay up without keeping everyone else awake too. 

Joe had spread himself out like a starfish, explaining his limbs needed to stretch after being on the train all day. He followed this with a wink to Gwil. Gwil didn’t know how to react so he just darted into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

Ben slowly runs his hand down Gwil’s side and squeezes his hip. Gwil grabs his hand as he moves it towards Gwil’s crotch. Gwil turns to see Ben giving him a cheeky smile, his tongue slightly sticking out between his teeth. 

Gwil tries not to smile back and give him a stern look. He says, “stop” as quietly as possible. Ben just keeps smirking at him and shakes his head. For emphasis, Ben curls his leg over Gwil’s. 

Gwil hears a snore coming from Joe’s bed. He pushes forward and catches Ben’s lips against his own. Gwil rolls on top of him, pinning him to the mattress. Gwil keeps his mouth pressed against Ben’s, breathing through his nose. Joe is snoring a little louder. Gwil thinks he should probably feel more bad about this than he does. He lifts Ben’s arms above his head, holding them there tightly. 

He talks low in Ben’s ear, “you can’t be trusted right now.” 

Ben moans softly in response.

Gwil places open mouthed kisses over all the places on Ben he can reach while still holding his hands in place. He kisses Ben slowly, making as little noise as possible.

All day, Gwil had been expecting this if they ended up in the same bed. Ben had been being cheeky all day. He “accidently” grabbed Gwil’s ass when they were getting on the train. He was rubbing Gwil’s thigh at dinner while he casually talked to Joe. Gwil has loved all of it despite his protests. Gwil would also be very disappointed if he didn’t get to kiss Ben before they fell asleep.

++++++++

Joe stretches and turns over in his bed. He can see Gwil facing him. He starts to close his eyes again, but then realizes the arm he sees can’t belong to Gwil. 

Joe slowly crawls out of bed, walking to the foot of the other bed, phone in hand. He sees that Ben is curled behind Gwil, spooning him. Joe brings his hand to his mouth so he doesn’t laugh and wake them up. He makes a soft noise when he notices Ben’s lips pressed against the back of Gwil’s neck. Joe looks around the floor of the bed. He is equally happy and sad that he doesn’t see a condom wrapper. He checks his phone is on silent and takes a picture. He sends it to Rami with the text, “no condom, but this is happening.” Joe crawls back into his bed to pretend to still be asleep. He knows something has to be going on between them. He’s slept in the same bed as plenty of his friends without cuddling.

About ten minutes after he crawled back into bed, Joe hears movement on the other bed. He hears what he thinks is Ben grumbling followed by Gwil whispering good morning. Joe pushes his face against the pillow to hide his smile when he hears what sounds like a kiss. 

They are all getting ready to go hiking for the day. Ben excuses himself to go to a store he saw down the street to get a Coke Zero. Joe laughs to himself when he sees Gwil watching him leave. 

Gwil hears Joe laughing and turns to him, “what?”

Joe smiles softly, “you should tell him.”

Gwil just looks at him for a second. He coughs, “tell him what?”

Joe raises his eyebrows, “really? You should tell Ben you love him.” 

Gwil just looks at the ground. He knows Joe is right.

Joe takes a step closer to Gwil, “tell him.”

Gwil looks up at Joe, “he’s leaving.”

Joe scoffs, “what’s your point?”

Gwil knows he needs to tell Ben. He also knows they could have so much more if Gwil tells him and Ben also cares for him back. He’s almost positive that Ben likes him too. Gwil doesn’t think he could take it if Ben doesn’t though. He feels tears starting to form. He looks at Joe pleadingly.

Joe grins, “tell him.” He gets out his phone and shows Gwil the picture he took that morning, “it will be fine. You should tell him soon.” Joe claps him on the shoulder, “I’m happy for you guys.”

Gwil doesn’t know if he can tell Ben and then have to say goodbye to him almost immediately after. He bites the inside of his lip. He turns around to get some clothes to change into before turning back to Joe, “could you send me that picture?”

Joe laughs lightly, “of course.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place July 2018. 
> 
> I was going to include this with the next chapter, but I decided I like it better on it's own. This chapter is short and the next one may be as well.
> 
> Rating SORT OF applies to this chapter, nothing overly explicit.

Ben places his suitcase on top of his bed to pack for Italy. The bed is made very nicely. It’s nicer than when he does it. He tries to think of why Gwil would have made his bed. About a week ago, Gwil washed all the bedding after Ben washed all the towels the day before. Gwil must have made it after that. Ben realizes it’s been a week since he slept in his own bed. Before that, they probably slept in Ben’s bed together for at least as many nights in a row. Ben frowns. He’ll have to get used to sleeping without Gwil while he’s gone. He throws some extra sweatpants in his bag since he won’t have Gwil’s body heat. 

Ben walks over to his dresser to get underwear and tshirts. His underwear drawer looks sparse. He walks out of his room and wanders over to Gwil’s. He smiles at Gwil who is sitting on his bed reading a book. Ben can’t help noticing how handsome he looks in his glasses. Ben opens Gwil’s dresser.

Ben scoffs and pulls out three pairs of his boxer briefs. He turns around to face Gwil, “you stealing my pants?”

Gwil closes his book on his lap, “I’m building a shrine.”

Ben laughs and rolls his eyes, “dork.”

Gwil just smiles back at him, watching as he gathers the rest of his briefs mixed in with Gwil’s boxer.

Ben looks at Gwil, giving him a fake glare, “what else of mine do you have in here?” 

Gwil suddenly gets off the bed and stands in front of his closet, “there’s nothing.”

Ben laughs and tries to push Gwil to the side, “what did you steal?”

Gwil wraps his arms around Ben’s waist and starts walking with him towards the door, “nothing! Let’s just go pack you up.”

Ben laughs harder, “I’m still going to figure out what you stole.”

“Shhhh” Gwil laughs, “don’t worry about it.”

Ben lets Gwil lead him to his own room. He puts the items of his from Gwil’s room to his suitcase.

Gwil opens Ben’s closet, “HYPOCRITE!” Gwil pulls out a grey sweatshirt of his from the closet.

Ben opens his mouth to try and defend himself but then just says, “it’s SO comfortable.”

Gwil smiles, laughing lightly as he removes it from the hanger and folds it. He hands it to Ben for the suitcase, “I guess it’s fair since I have a jumper of yours.”

Ben thinks for a minute what is missing, “the navy one?” Gwil blushes a bit as he nods. Ben smiles, “keep it.”

Gwil leans down and kisses him, “thanks.” Gwil kisses him again, “though this doesn’t mean I won’t take my sweatshirt back when you get home.”

Ben laughs and rolls his eyes, “you can still keep the jumper.”

Gwil grabs Ben’s hips, lifts him slightly, and tosses him onto the bed. Ben lays back as Gwil lays on top of him. Ben puts his hand behind Gwil’s head, pulling him into a kiss which quickly gets heated. Packing gets put on hold as they make out instead.

++++++++

  
  


Ben is sitting on the sofa, looking at some of photos from a photoshoot he did a while back. He can’t decide if he likes them or not. He knows he’s probably just being overly critical of his facial expressions. 

Gwil sits down next to him, leaning against his shoulder, “what are you looking at with such a serious look on your face?”

Ben turns his laptop so Gwil can look, “from a few weeks ago.” Gwil looks at the pictures. Ben can’t help thinking it looks like he doesn’t like them. He hesitantly asks, “what’s wrong?”

“You look different in these photos.” Gwil scratches his beard, “you look hot.”

Ben snorts. “Thanks, Gwil,” he replies dryly.

“I’ve always thought you were hot but…” Gwil turns to look at Ben, his expression soft, “you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever known. But you look different here.” Gwil looks back at the screen.

Ben just watches Gwil for a moment, turning red from Gwil’s compliment. He gets the feeling Gwil isn’t just talking about his looks. Ben looks back at the pictures, “it’s the makeup.”

“No.” Gwil turns on the sofa to face Ben better, “you’re different with other people.”

Ben pouts slightly, “how so?”

Gwil moves just the smallest bit closer to Ben, “I don’t know. Like with everyone else, you’re…” Gwil trails off like he’s still looking for the right word.

Ben turns to face him, he grins a little bit, “a fuck boy? Andy said he saw me called that on the internet.”

Gwil laughs a bit before stopping, “no.. well...I could see where people would think that...but with me…” Gwil puts his arm behind Ben on the top of the sofa.

“I’m the boy, or man, you fuck?” Ben quirks up one eyebrow at Gwil.

Gwil ignores Ben’s cheeky comment, “you’re soft.”

Ben ducks his head. He knows part of that is because of his feelings for Gwil. He looks up at Gwil slowly, “I’m comfortable around you. I’m myself.”

Gwil leans forward and kisses Ben softly, “good. I like the real you.”

Ben kisses Gwil again, smiling against his lips, “I like the real you, too.” Ben wants to tell Gwil how he feels. This is the best opportunity he has had. Ben studies Gwils face, wondering how it will change when he says I love you. He’s just about to when Gwil lifts the laptop off his lap, setting it on the coffee table. Gwil stands and extends a hand to Ben. Ben readily takes it. Gwil pulls him into a kiss, his hands cupping Ben’s face.

Gwil kisses Ben’s forehead, his voice gentle, “which bedroom?”

Ben rests his hands on Gwil’s chest, “yours please.” Ben knows it doesn’t really matter but he likes the idea of Gwil taking him to his bed right now. Gwil takes Ben by the hand and slowly leads him to his room.

Ben has never thought of sex between him and Gwil as being emotionless, but something about this time is different. They take their time with each other, slowly taking each other’s clothes off. Ben thinks Gwil has kissed every part of him he can reach by the time he’s worked his way to having three fingers in Ben. 

They continue to kiss as much as possible as Gwil lays over Ben, rocking against each other. Ben feels so cared for, he thinks he might cry by the time they both get off. Ben feels cheesy even thinking it to himself, but he thinks this is the first time in his life it felt like he was making love with someone. 

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the immediate follow up to the last chapter.

Ben thinks he is dreaming when he feels the scratch of Gwil’s beard along his jaw. He smiles when he feels Gwil’s lips press against his skin. His eyes flutter open and he realizes he’s actually waking up to Gwil kissing him. 

When Gwil realizes Ben’s awake now, he pushes himself up to kiss Ben’s lips. They kiss for a few minutes before he pulls back and smiles, “we need to go, Ben.”

Ben groans and stretches. He wraps his arms around Gwil, holding him against his chest, “I need my toothbrush from my bag. It’s so far away.”

“Just use mine.” Gwil laughs when Ben makes a face, “my tongue was in your mouth 5 seconds ago.”

“Fine.” Ben gives him one more kiss before he wiggles out from under him to walk to the bathroom. Ben looks up in the mirror, surprised to see Gwil standing behind you, “what are you doing?”

Gwil wraps his arms around Ben’s waist from behind and rests his chin on his shoulder, “just spending more time with you before you go.”

Ben smiles as he puts toothpaste on Gwil’s toothbrush to brush his teeth. He just watches Gwil in the mirror as he brushes his teeth. 

As Ben is finishing brushing his teeth, Gwil opens his mouth.

“What?” Ben rinses off the brush.

“Brush my teeth now.” Gwil wiggles eyebrows.

Ben rolls his eyes, “you’re so weird sometimes.” Ben puts more toothpaste on the brush anyways. Gwil starts laughing as Ben starts to brush his teeth, which makes it all that more difficult. Ben starts laughing along, trying to stop the toothpaste falling out of Gwil’s mouth from rolling down his chin. Gwil starts trying to say something. Ben laughs louder, “stop!” Ben pulls the toothbrush from Gwil’s mouth.

Gwil spits into the sink. He smiles up at Ben, “just trying to make you laugh before you go.” Gwil kisses Ben on the cheek and leaves the bathroom. 

Ben washes his hands and quickly changes into comfortable clothes for the plane.

Gwil is waiting for him by the front door. He holds on his hands, “your car keys please.”

Ben reluctantly hands them over. He’s very excited for the movie and stunts but isn’t ready to be apart from Gwil again. He wants even one more day at home so he can tell Gwil he loves him. He almost did last night. He thinks he knows that Gwil has feelings for him. He wonders where they would be if they had normal jobs and came home to each other every night as he follows Gwil out of the flat.

++++++++

Ben looks down at their hands, clasped together as they rest on the console between the front seats of the car. Gwil reached out for his hand almost immediately when they got into the car. He lets go to put the car in park, but instantly takes Ben’s hand back in his. Ben looks up and gives him a sad smile. Maybe if he doesn’t say goodbye it won’t be as sad.

Gwil rubs his thumb over Ben’s knuckles, “we should have thought about this. I can’t kiss you goodbye here.” Gwil looks out the window at all the people walking by. He turns in his seat as best he can to face Ben.

Ben lifts his free hand to Gwil’s face. He runs his finger tips over Gwil’s beard, making Gwil smile. Ben lays his hand flat against his cheek, “I like the beard.”

Gwil smiles wider, “oh yeah?”

Ben nods, “yeah. So handsome.” Ben lets his hand fall down Gwil’s neck, down his chest and settle over Gwil’s heart. He takes a deep breath and chews on his bottom lip, trying not to cry.

“So are you.” Gwil puts his hand over Ben’s on his chest, “it’s alright.” 

Ben nods. He doesn’t trust his voice to say anything right now. He knows his voice will crack and he’ll start crying.

Gwil squeezes Ben’s hand, “we can call. We made it through me being in Australia.”

Ben smiles just a little. He likes Gwil saying “we” like they are a pair, like he would if they were a couple. Ben licks his lips, “this is much closer.”

Gwil rests the side of his head against the headrest. He brings Ben’s hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it, “I’ll see you soon for press.”

“Okay.” He gives him a weak smile. Ben looks in Gwil’s eyes for a few moments. He thinks he could sit there the rest of the day, just looking at them.

Gwil kisses his hand again, “we’ll talk tomorrow. Later today even.”

Ben smiles. It sounds like Gwil is reassuring both of them they’ll talk soon. Ben swallows hard and looks down at his lap. He’s still sad that it won’t be face to face, “okay.”

“Ben.” Ben looks up at Gwil. Gwil gives him a sad smile, “your flight.”

Ben pulls Gwil into a tight hug. He whispers, “tonight” into Gwil’s ear before kissing his cheek. Bne decides to focus on how he’ll talk to Gwil in just a few hours rather than all the things he’ll miss.

++++++++

Ben is walking with Ryan back to Ryan’s trailer. Blake is on set with their kids and Ryan said she was bringing cookies with her. Ben negotiated not having to take his shirt off in the movie so he thankfully doesn’t have to watch every little thing he eats. He thinks that would be near impossible with all the amazing food in Italy. Ben’s phone starts ringing in his pocket. He stops walking when he sees that it’s Gwil video chatting. 

Ben answers with a wide smile, “Hey Gwil!” His eyes get huge when he sees a shirtless Gwil in their kitchen. 

“Ben!” Gwil starts pacing, “I’m still so nervous. I tried running. The increased heart rate isn’t helping my nerves.”

Ben clears all the dirty thoughts from his head that popped up when he saw Gwil’s bare chest. He knows Gwil is really nervous for an audition this afternoon. They ran lines together last night. Gwil seemed calm when they hung up. He clearly isn’t now. Ben gives him a soft smile, “I know you’ve been practicing. You did really well last night. You can do this. I saw you do this last night. You’re going to be brilliant.”

Gwil sighs, “thanks, Ben.” 

Ryan is suddenly behind Ben, looking at the screen. “Ahh!! Naked man! Ben! Put that away.”

Ben rolls his eyes, trying to turn away from Ryan but his hands are holding his shoulders, “he’s not naked.”

Ryan looks closer, “oh! Hello not fully naked man. I was about to be very impressed by Ben’s lack of shame. Hi” He waves at the screen, “I’m Ryan.”

Gwil has a bit of a dumbfounded look on his face as he waves back, “yeah. Hi, Ryan. I’m Gwil.”

“I was totally listening,” Ryan smiles, “good luck on your audition.”

Gwil still looks a little shocked, “Thanks, Ryan.” He looks towards Ben’s face, “thanks again, Ben. I’ll let you guys go.”

“Do you feel better yet?” Gwil nods. Ben smiles wide, “good. Call me right after your audition to tell me how well it went. I’ll answer if I can. Bye, Gwil.” 

Gwil gives him a soft smile. After a beat, he coughs, “bye, Ben.”

As soon as Ben tucks the phone into his pocket, Ryan cooes at him, “sooooo who’s that?”

Ben watches the ground as they start walking again, “my roommate.”

Ryan scoffs, “okay, sure. That’s just your roommate. Blake and I are just roommates too.”

Ben puts his hands in his pockets, “he is.”

Ryan smirks, “then why do your cheeks look red?”

Ben puts up towards the sky, “I’ve been in the sun. Doing stunts.”

“You’re wearing makeup.” Ryan laughs a little, “and he’s hot.”

Ben doesn’t respond for a moment, then nods, “he is hot.”

Ryan smiles, “so who he is?”

Ben replies softer than he said before, “my roommate.”

Ryan laughs, “yeah okay. You should change that.” He holds the door to his trailer open. Blake is sitting at the small table inside. She gestures towards a door off to the left with her finger up to her mouth. Their kids are napping in the bedroom. Ryan sits as far away from the bedroom as possible. Ben sits down next to him. Ryan smiles over at him, “I’m just saying. He’s a good looking man. And he called you for comfort.”

Blake comes over, handing them each a cookie, “who’s good looking? Are we setting Ben up finally?” She sits down next to Ryan.

Ben sighs, “I don’t need to be set up.”

“Yeah Blake, he’s already got someone.” Ryan holds his hand out, “let me see a picture to show her who we are talking about.” 

Ben finds one of his favorite pictures of Gwil on his phone. They went to dinner with some of Gwil’s friends. It was just them at the table for a moment. Gwil inisited they take a selfie together so he could send it to Joe. Ben noticed a printed copy in a frame in the living room a few days later.

Blake looks at the picture, “oh! He is good looking! Does he like kids? You know, just in case I want to trade in.” She jerks her head towards Ryan.

Ryan looks excited, “oh! Is he bi?”

Blake puts her arm around Ryan, “would he be interested in a threesome?”

Ben smiles at his lap. Gwil might be bi but all Ben can think of is what they’ve been doing together for almost a year now. Ben wonders what they might be doing in another year or maybe even two. He bites his lip, “yeah. He likes kids.”

Ryan stage whispers behind his hand to Blake, “Ben wants him for himself.”

Blake does the same back, “okay fine.” Blake looks to Ben, “how’d you meet?”

Ben decides not to share their first meeting, “on set.”

Blake smiles wide, “so did Ryan and I.”

“We didn’t date for a while though.” Ryan puts his hand on Blake’s knee.

“Neither have they.” Both Blake and Ryan look at Ben.

Ben picks off a piece of dirt from his joggers. He looks up at Ryan and Blake, watching him expectantly. He decides they are a fairly neutral party to talk to, “I’m in love with him.”

Blake makes an excited noise, “tell him.”

Ben knows it’s well past the time he should tell Gwil. There’s still part of him that is scared of how much it will hurt if Gwil doesn’t say it back. “What if he doesn’t love me?”

Ryan looks between Blake and Ben for a moment, “then Blake will kick his ass.” Ben laughs lightly.

Blake nods, “I’m training for a movie. I’d like to test if it’s working.”

Ben bites his lip, “I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Blake reaches over Ryan and puts her hand on Ben’s arm, “you should tell him.”

Ben looks up at her, “I’ll see him in a few weeks.”

“Kiss him!” Ryan smiles, “just walk up and kiss him.”

Ben can’t help picturing that. His cheeks feel warm.

Blake gives Ryan a knowing look. “Hey Ben.” Ben looks up at her, “we are an old married couple. We need some good gossip. What’s making you turn red?”

Ryan puts his legs over Ben’s lap, making him laugh loudly, “let us live vicariously.”

Ben laughs and then just claps Ryan’s shin, “it’s… it’s a private thing.”

Blake smiles, “he’s really good in bed, isn’t he?”

Ben knows he’s turning even more red.

Ryan picks up Ben’s hand from his leg and high fives him. Ben laughs loudly.

“Ben..” Blake narrows her eyes at him, “how long has this been happening?”

Ben isn’t going to give her all the details but feels comfortable enough to answer this, “almost a year.”

Ryan and Blake look at each other, seeming to have a conversation with just a look. 

Ben takes a deep breath, “I’ll tell him when I see him. Not on the phone.” Ben can’t take the risk of telling Gwil and not being able to kiss him after if he responds favorably. Ben is glad they get called back to set before he can think too much about the possibility that Gwil doesn’t like him back. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am VERY excited to write the next couple chapters!!!!!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating applies to this chapter

Gwil is surprised he’s able to focus on the interviews as much as he is. Ben is supposed to be there any minute. It’s been almost three months since he’s seen him in person. He wishes he was going to see him in an environment where he could be affectionate with him. He doesn’t think the producers would really appreciate him having Ben sitting on his lap for the interview. 

Gwil is glad Rami is talking a lot next to him. He scratches his beard and instantly thinks of Ben doing the same in the car when Gwil dropped him at the airport. He almost told Ben he loves him that day. He’s also almost told him on the phone a few times. Especially when Ben started telling him all about the stunts he was doing. Part of Gwil knows that Ben wouldn’t be doing anything where he could actually get hurt but he also tries to block it out when Ben tells him things like he was on top of the Duomo in Florence. 

Gwil was also tempted to tell Ben he loves him when Ben was falling asleep on their FaceTime call but insisted on staying on the phone since they hadn’t gotten to talk in a couple days. 

The interview thanks them for their time and leaves. Rami and Gwil have about a 5 minute break until their next one. They walk over to the small table with snacks and drinks. Gwil starts making himself a coffee while Rami looks at his phone. Gwil looks at his watch and starts to pace.

Rami chuckles softly, “you sure you need coffee?”

“What?” Gwil turns around to face him. “Oh. Yeah. I’m just… I’ll be good in a bit.”

Rami takes a step closer to him, “do you want to talk?”

Gwil shakes his head, “I’m alright for now. Thank you though.”

Rami smirks and narrows his eyes, “is it Ben? Did something happen?”

Gwil clears his throat, “what do you mean?”

Rami has a huge smile on his face, “I know you’ve cuddled. Did something else happen that is making you worried to see him?”

Gwil stammers for a moment. He isn’t sure how Rami would know. Then it hits him. Gwil rolls his eyes, “Joe?” Rami laughs and nods. Gwil figures there’s no reason not to be straightforward with Rami. “I’m excited to see him. I miss him.”

Rami bites his lip and smiles, “that’s sweet.” Rami chuckles, “he’s in there with Joe though.” Rami points to the door that joins their hotel room suite to the one next to it.

Gwil steps towards the door but stops. He can’t interrupt what he thought was Joe in solo interviews. Gwil gets his phone off of the table. It somehow turned itself off. He turns it on and sees a few voicemails from Ben. 

Rami claps him on the shoulder, “another hour and we’ll all be together.”

Gwil gives him a thankful smile and sits back down for their next interview.

++++++++

Gwil hears Joe loudly talking saying they’ll just be a minute. He looks up to see Joe practically shoving Ben into the room.

Gwil stands up just in time for Ben to pull him into a tight hug. Gwil cups the back of Ben’s head as he holds him tight against him as he closes his eyes. Ben mumbles something against his chest.

Gwil chuckles and pulls back the slightest bit, “what was that?”

Ben smiles up at him, “you smell good.”

Gwil knows he’s blushing, “thanks.” Gwil hears shuffling behind him. He looks over his shoulder to see what’s happening. 

Joe is shoving Rami towards the bathroom as Rami laughs loudly, “we’ll...umm…I need to show Rami something.”

Rami laughs again, “in the bathroom?”

Joe attempts talking quietly, “let’s give them a minute.”

Gwil leans down and kisses Ben just below his ear.

Bem hums, “save it for tonight.”

Gwil can’t help smiling wide. He always worries when they are apart Ben is going to find someone he wants to spend his time with instead. Gwil puts his hand on Ben’s cheek, “really?”

“Of course.” Ben reaches up and pulls Gwil into a soft kiss.

Gwil looks to make sure the door to the other room is still closed. He turns back to Ben, taking his face between both hands to kiss him again. Gwil doesn’t know if he’ll be able to kiss Ben as much as he wants to in the few days he’s back home.

++++++++

Gwil was right in thinking he wouldn’t get much time with Ben as he wanted. He had thought maybe he could take Ben out to dinner one of the nights he was back. It doesn’t feel like they are just friends with benefits anymore. It hasn’t felt like that for Gwil in a while. Well, basically ever if he really thinks about it. He thought maybe he could take Ben to dinner, treat it like a date, and then they could just be together after that. 

His plans were ruined the first night when their interviews ended up going later than planned and someone had already arranged dinner for them all. Ben fell asleep against him in the backseat of the car that took them home. Once they got there, Ben immediately got ready for bed, crawling into Gwil’s bed. As Gwil fell asleep with Ben against his chest, he decided that was almost as good as a date. 

Joe wanted them all to go out to dinner like they did during filming the second night. That felt a little like a date to him when Ben had his hand on his knee all night. They both ended up a little more drunk than either intended.

By the time the third night rolls around, Gwil needs Ben too much to go out. They have the premier the next day and Gwil doesn’t think they have enough time for dinner plus sex. They end up having dinner in Joe’s hotel room. Right after Ben is done eating, Gwil leans over and whispers to Ben, “can I take you home?”

Ben whispers against the shell of Gwil’s ear, “it’s about fucking time.” Ben nips at Gwil’s ear. He turns to Joe, “I need my beauty sleep. See you tomorrow.” Ben stands up.

Joe scoffs, “it’s 7 pm.”

Gwil holds up his hands and shrugs, “I’ll be going too. Can’t have Ben looking too much better than me.” Ben rolls his and gives him the finger. Gwil laughs loudly, “we’ll see you tomorrow.” 

++++++++

Ben quickly unlocks the door to their flat. He walks in and kicks off his shoes, then turns around to Gwil, “how are we doing this?”

Gwil grabs his waist and kisses Ben’s neck, “I need you under me. Is that alright?”

Ben pulls his own shirt off, tossing it to the side, “sounds great.” He reaches for Gwil’s shirt next. 

Gwil laughs as Ben tries unbuttoning Gwil’s trousers as he walks backwards towards his room. He reaches out to hold Ben’s hips so he doesn’t trip. 

Ben crawls onto the bed, laying down in the middle. Gwil stands at the foot of the bed, pulling on the bottom of Ben’s trousers. Gwil tosses them to the side, followed by the rest of his clothes and Ben’s boxer briefs.

Gwil crawls on the bed hovering over Ben. His plan to slowly kiss all over Ben gets thrown out the window when Ben pulls Gwil against him, holding him in place with his legs and arms as he licks into Gwil’s mouth. 

Gwil tries to pull back a few times so he can prep Ben for sex, but he just keeps pulling Gwil back against him. The third time Gwil tries breaking their kisses, Ben makes a discontented noise and Gwil can’t help laughing. He smiles down at Ben, “I thought you wanted to have sex.”

“I do. I’ve just really missed kissing you.” Ben curls his fingers through the hair on the back of Gwil’s head, pulling him back in.

After a while longer, Gwil kisses along Ben’s jaw. Between kisses he asks, “may I move to get some lube now?”

“Hmm I guess.” Ben kisses Gwil’s neck, “will you fuck me bare?”

Gwil’s cock feels harder than it already was, “course I will.” Gwil reaches down and palms himself as he moves off Ben to get lube. 

As soon as Gwil has it, Ben reaches for him. Gwil loves that Ben seemingly can’t get enough of kissing him. Gwil really wants to tell Ben he loves him, but doesn’t think in the middle of sex is the right time. Since they started sleeping together as just friends, Gwil doesn’t want Ben to think it’s just because of the sex. Gwil’s fallen even more in love with Ben the last few days listening to him give such intelligent answers. He hopes his starring at Ben wasn’t obvious. Most of the time he was able to keep his eyes on Ben’s eyes instead of his lips as he talked on camera. 

Gwil keeps kissing Ben the best he can as he works him open with his fingers. Ben will break the kisses to moan a little when Gwil has one then two fingers in him, and basically just moans against Gwil’s mouth when Gwil has 3 fingers curling inside him. 

Gwil sits back on his knees, removing his fingers, and moves Ben’s legs up his hips a bit. He rubs lube over himself and lines his cock up against Ben’s hole. He slowly pushes in. Ben opening up around his unsheathed cock is a feeling Gwil wants to relish in. Gwil slowly pulls back before rolling his hips forward just as slowly. He rests his head on the pillow next to Ben’s. Ben is panting in his ear, murmuring his name. Gwil could move at this slow pace all night, but he gets the hint Ben wants him to move faster when he starts pushing Gwil forward with his heels. Gwil kisses Ben’s neck and starts moving quicker. 

Ben’s moans turn into whimpering in Gwil’s ear as he starts clenching around his cock. Gwil reaches between them to wrap his hand around Ben’s leaking dick. Ben curls his fingers into Gwil’s back. Gwil tries to hold off his own orgasm until he can make Ben come first. 

Ben gasps, “Gwil '' and comes over Gwil’s fingers and stomach. Gwil holds Ben’s hips as he fucks him through his orgasm. 

Ben rests his hands on top of Gwil’s, “come in me.’ Ben bites his lip as he starts clench around Gwil. Gwil gives him a few more deep thrusts before filling him with his come. 

Gwil pulls out and starts to kiss down Ben, like he usually does now that they aren’t using condoms so he can use his mouth to clean Ben up. Ben stops him though.

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, “just lay with me.”

Gwil lowers his head to Ben’s chest, smiling, “I can do that.” Gwil closes his eyes as Ben starts playing with his hair.

Barely audible, Ben whispers, “I’ve missed this.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s chest, “you didn’t get yourself off?”

“I did. Your hand feels better though.” Ben kisses the top of Gwil’s head, “I mean just being here, with you. I’m not ready to go back.”

Gwil can’t believe he already has to say goodbye to Ben again. Ben has to leave right as the movie finishes at the premiere tomorrow. They won’t even get to celebrate together. He pushes himself up to look at Ben, “I thought you were loving it?” 

“I am.” Gwil watches Ben’s adam apple bob as he swallows. Ben rests his hand on Gwil’s cheek, “you aren’t there though.”

Gwil holds onto the wrist of Ben’s hand cupping his face and leans down to kiss him, “I’d come visit if I could.” Gwil pulls back and sees tears forming in the corner of Ben’s eyes, “Ben” Gwil kisses him again, “I miss you too. It’s shorter this time.” He peppers more kisses over Ben’s face, “you’ll be back for christmas.” 

Ben nods, “I know.” Ben wipes away a tear. He starts to pull Gwil back in, “kiss me so I don’t think about it.”

Gwil rubs his thumb over Ben’s cheek, “we can talk about it.”

Ben licks his lips, “I know. But I’ll cry and look terrible for the premiere tomorrow.”

Gwil smiles and shakes his head, “not possible.”

They kiss for a while before Ben pushes Gwil onto his back. Ben lowers himself onto Gwil’s cock for a second round. They shower together before Gwil leads Ben to his room to sleep. Gwil lays there, curled around Ben, waiting for him to fall asleep before he closes his eyes.

++++++++

The morning of the premiere, Gwil walks into the bathroom to find Ben putting small sheet masks under his eyes.

Gwil chuckles and kisses Ben’s cheek, “that’s a good look.”

Ben rolls his eyes but smiles back, “you want some?” He holds out another package to Gwil.

“I’ve never done this.” Gwil takes the package from him. 

Ben snatches it back, “sit against the counter.”

Gwil rests against the counter so his face is lower for Ben to stand between his legs and put the masks in place. Gwil rests his hands on Ben’s hips watching Ben concentrate. Gwil reaches up and uses one finger to pull Ben’s bottom lip out from between his teeth.

Ben finishes and leans in to kiss Gwil, “all done.”

Gwil looks over his shoulder to the mirror. He looks at Ben in the reflection and smiles, “we’re quite the pair.” 

Ben smiles wide, “we are a good pair.”

Gwil turns around, wrapping his hands around Ben’s waist, “car will be here soon.” They are getting picked up and taken to the hotel Joe and Rami are staying at. They will be met by stylists and makeup artists to get ready for later.

Ben puts his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, “we have just a few more minutes to ourselves.”

They both lean into kiss each other at the same time and bonk foreheads. They both laugh while Ben rubs his forehead. Gwil pushes up and kisses the spot, then kisses Ben’s nose, then his lips. They kiss until the driver buzzes to pick them up.

++++++++

Gwil barely has time to think straight when they get to the hotel to get ready. Some of his friends are there in the room. Ben is with his friends in the adjoining room. Ben’s friend Andy comes in and chats with Gwil and his mates. Gwil can’t help but smile when they seem to get along. Gwil never really thinks it takes long for him to get ready but somehow it takes even longer when two people are doing everything for him. His mates leave when it’s time for him to get dressed but the stylist doesn’t. He’s tried sneaking a peak at Ben but has been unsuccessful. Ben wouldn’t tell him what he was wearing. He said he wanted to see Gwil’s face when he saw it. Gwil has been racking his brain the last three days to guess what it could be. He kept coming up with ridiculous ideas and asking Ben if that’s what he’s wearing. His last guess that Ben sarcastically said yes to was Roger’s outfit from the Radio Gaga music video. While it would be very unexpected, Gwil doesn’t doubt that Ben could pull it off. 

What Ben actually comes out in is much better. Gwil is thankful for the crowd of people. If they were alone right now, all the hair and makeup artists' work would quickly be undone. Gwil swallows hard and covers his mouth. He thought Ben was wearing solid black everything. Ben puts his hands in his suit pant pockets, smirks and winks at Gwil. Gwil realizes Ben’s shirt is see through. His jaw falls open slightly. Ben chuckles as his stylish starts making adjustments. Gwil’s starts doing the same. Gwil can’t keep his eyes off Ben though. He steals glances at him whenever he can. He hears laughing and looks towards the source. Andy is looking at him and shaking his head, smiling. Gwil knows he was caught. He idly wonders what all Andy knows. 

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Joe with a man he doesn’t recognize telling them the car is ready downstairs. Rami is waiting for them by the elevator. Joe insists they take pictures during the elevator ride. Gwil wants to sit next to Ben in the car, but quickly agrees with the others that he needs to sit up front in the vintage car. Ben grabs his wrist as he’s about to get in. He waits for Joe and Rami to get in the car.

Ben pushes up to whisper to Gwil, “you look bloody fantastic.”

Gwil looks down at the ground, blushing, “thank you. As do you.”

Ben smirks, “thanks. I saw how you were looking at me.” Ben winks at him and gets in the car. Gwil gets a flashback of Ben saying he knew Gwil was bi because of how he was looking at him.

Thankfully, Gwil is able to sit next to Ben during the movie. As soon as the lights go down, Ben slips his hand into Gwil’s. Gwil smiles over at him and squeezes it. 

Gwil expects Ben to let go as the movie progresses. But the closer it gets to the end, the tighter Ben’s grip gets. Gwil remembers he has to say goodbye basically as soon as it’s over. He shifts how he’s sitting so he can hold Ben’s hand with both of his. 

Rami, Joe, and himself walk with Ben to the underground parking structure to say goodbye to Ben. The man driving Ben is giving them a very impatient look. They are apparently already running late.

Rami kisses Ben on the cheek and pulls him into a tight hug. They congratulate each other on jobs well done in the movie as the driver checks his watch. 

Joe steps up to take another picture with Ben before hugging him. Joe sways Ben back and forth as he dramatically laments about not seeing him for a couple months. Gwil can feel himself starting to well up about the same thing, even if Joe is partly joking. Joe lets Ben go and hooks his arm in Rami’s, “we’ll let you guys say bye.” Rami gives Gwil a knowing smile as Joe takes him away.

The driver basically yells for Ben to get in the car. Gwil can’t help matching his tone, “oy! Just give us a minute.” Ben laughs as he reaches out for Gwil.

Gwil hugs Ben tightly, cupping the back of Ben’s head. Gwil closes his eyes for a moment. Ben snuggles against his chest. 

Gwil twists his head to kiss Ben’s temple. Before he can stop himself from saying it out loud, Gwil says, “I love you.”

Ben immediately pulls back and looks up at him, “what?”

Gwil takes a deep breath, “I’m in love with you.”

Ben looks speechless. There’s just enough of a pause for Gwil to start overthinking. He really thought Ben had feelings for him in return. Maybe Ben doesn’t love him back. Ben smiles and grabs on tightly to the lapels of Gwil’s suit. He pulls Gwil in and kisses him. 

Gwil thinks they might be getting yelled at but he doesn’t care. He cups Ben’s face and deepens the kiss. 

Ben starts smiling against Gwil’s mouth. He breaks the kiss. His eyes are shining with what Gwil hopes are happy tears. Ben lightly laughs and kisses Gwil again. 

Gwil hears a cough next to him. He turns his head away from Ben. It’s the angry driver. 

He gives Gwil a harsh look, “I need to take Mr. Hardy before he misses his flight.”

Ben smiles at Gwil over his shoulder as the driver leads him to the car. Ben gives him a small wave before getting in the car. 

Gwil doesn’t really know how to feel. He’s relieved to have finally told Ben. He’s sad that Ben had to leave right after he said it, which is why Gwil didn’t say it as soon as he saw Ben 3 days ago. He’s happy at how much Ben was smiling. However, he also can’t help but notice Ben didn’t say it back. 

  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place listening December 2018, right before Christmas
> 
> I am posting this from my phone. If it formats weird, I’ll have to fix it in a bit

Ben sits in the back of the car with his hand over his mouth. His smile suddenly falls. He didn’t say it back. 

“Fuck I’m an idiot.” Ben mumbles to himself as he digs for his phone. He can’t believe he’s been in love with Gwil for months now and he didn’t say it back. 

Hearing Gwil say it. Well, it was better than all the time he imagined it. It was perfect. This perfect man was saying these perfect words and Ben just lost his ability to think. He’d been telling himself not to say it for so long he couldn’t when he needed to. He really hopes Gwil doesn’t want to take it back. 

Ben’s phone rings right as he’s about to call Gwil. Ben smiles at the picture of Gwil for the caller ID, “Gwil, I..”

Gwil cuts him off, “which car is yours? I turned around after about 2 minutes. I want to ride with you to the airport but they all look the same. Can you roll your window down?”

Ben looks at the buildings rushing by, “we are well past Wembley now.” Ben swallows hard, “I’m an idiot, Gwil. I’m so sorry.” Ben lets his head fall against the window. “I’ve been wanting to say it for so long but I haven’t wanted to say it on the phone or right before one of us leaves. I really want to see your face when I tell you. Be able to touch you after, even if that’s just sitting next to you on our sofa.” Ben wipes a tear off his cheek.

“I understand.” There’s a really long pause. Gwil chuckles, “sorry, I’m just really relieved.”

Ben smiles, “I do. I have. I just haven’t said.”

“I have as well. I didn’t say either. I wasn’t exactly planning on blurting it out just now right before we’re apart.” 

Ben hears a lot of background noise. He thinks Gwil must be going back to the after party. Ben clears his throat, “I will say it Gwil. I just…” Ben looks up at the roof of the car. His eyes start filling with tears. He’s so mad at himself for not saying it in person. 

“It’s alright, Ben.” Gwil’s voice is soft.

Ben doesn’t really agree with that. He’s going to have to make this up to Gwil somehow. Ben sniffles, “you should go enjoy the party for both of us.”

“I officially hate Ryan Reynolds for taking you away from me.”

Ben can’t help laughing, “he likes you though.” Ben bites his lip, “I’ve told him a lot about you. Gwil?” Ben waits for him to respond.

“Yes, Ben?” It sounds like Gwil is smiling.

“I do feel that way about you. I want you to know that. I’ll let you enjoy the party though.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Call me when you land.” There’s a slight pause. Gwil talks rapidly, “Do I say it now? I know you want to wait, but I’ve said it. Do you want me to?”

Ben groans, “I already want to say it so bad. Am I hurting you by waiting?”

“No, Ben. You aren’t hurting me. I won’t say it again till we see each other though.”

Ben lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “good. I’m glad you aren’t hurt. As long as you know I do.”

“I do know Ben. And you know too, that I… you know.”

Ben smiles, “yeah. I know.”

“Alright then. I’ll let you go. I may drunk dial you later.” Gwil laughs.

Ben bites his lip, “I look forward to that. I’ll miss you, Gwil.”

“I’ll miss you too, Ben. And I know.”

Ben’s eyes fill with tears again, this time happy ones, “I know, too.”

++++++++

Ben thinks the last two months have gone slower than anytime in his life. In some ways it seems like they have flown by, but whenever he thinks of how long it will be until he can see Gwil it, it seems like an eternity.

Ben still wonders if it would be better if he had actually told Gwil he loves him. Gwil insists he doesn’t mind. He also laughed at Ben one night when he whined loudly about it. They’ve been telling each other “I know” at the end of their conversations instead. Ben likes having a little inside thing they share. 

Ben is in his trailer eating supper when he gets a FaceTime call from Gwil. Ben answers and smiles, “Hey there, how are you?”

Gwil looks sleepy, “dw i wedi blino.” Gwil yawns and blinks slowly a few times.

Ben laughs, “you’re cute when you’re tired.”

“Thanks, Ben. Did you get Joe’s pictures?”

Ben shakes his head, “nothing’s come through. How did he send them?”

Gwil rubs his face, “not sure. I need to go to bed soon. I wanted to say goodnight. I also wanted to tell you that Joe knows we’ve slept together.”

Ben shrugs, “that’s fine. How did it come up?” Ben hopes that as soon as they can talk in person they’ll be in a relationship so it doesn’t matter what Joe knows.

Gwil scrunches up his face, “well.. this probably would have made more sense...that’s not accurate...Joe now has a cardboard cutout of you. It’s the right height too. And drunk Gwil told Joe that he can have Ben Cardy to sleep with in his room because I’ve gotten to sleep with the real Ben.”

Ben just stares for a moment, “I’m sorry. Joe has a what? And he’s named it Ben Cardy?” Ben laughs loudly, “I love that! And yeah, you have slept with the real Ben.” He winks at Gwil.

Gwil smiles, “we’ve taken a lot of pictures with it. Plus videos. Cardboard you also does a mean karaoke.”

Ben laughs, “I miss you so much. I’m now fucking jealous of a piece of cardboard.”

Gwil smiles, ‘I miss you too. A lot. You are much better than the paper version.”

Ben grins, “hey Gwil?”

“Yes, Ben?”

“I know.

Gwil beams at him, “I know too.”

Ben bites his lip, “you should go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Gwil yawns, “night, Ben.”

++++++++

Ben is in his hotel room, shoving the essentials into his small carry-on bag. It started raining early in the morning causing them to wrap for Christmas break a day earlier. Ben left the set as soon as he could. He called to change his flight on his way back to the hotel. He decided to surprise Gwil by getting back early.

Ben sneaks into their flat as quietly as he can. It’s the middle of the night. Gwil’s door is shut. He slowly turns the knob. Ben leaves the door open so light from the living room spills in.

He finds Gwil laying on his side, hugging a pillow where Ben usually sleeps. Ben reaches out and gently shakes Gwil’s shoulder.

Gwil says something unintelligible. Ben smiles and shakes him again. Gwil turns over, squinting at him, “Ben?”

Ben smiles, “Hi. I got home early.”

Gwil sits up and reaches out for Ben. 

Ben sits on the edge of the bed. He cups Gwil’s face in one hand, “You awake?”

Gwil looks confused and nods, “yeah?”

Ben smiles, “I love you, Gwil. So much.”

Gwil smiles wide, “I know.”

Ben chuckles and leans in to kiss him. 

Gwil wraps his arms around Ben and twists, pulling Ben into the bed with him.

Ben laughs as Gwil kisses his neck. 

Ben shifts so he’s laying on his back. Gwil moves to lay on top of him. Ben reaches up and strokes Gwil’s cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Gwil kisses him. “Can I take you to my family Christmas this weekend?”

Ben bites his lip, nodding, “can we go to mine on Christmas?”

Gwil nods, “sounds great.” Gwil kisses him for a bit.

Ben pushes some hair of Gwil’s forehead, “can I get up and brush my teeth?”

Gwil lays flat against Ben. He nuzzles against his neck, “no. You’re all mine now.”

Ben laughs lightly and wraps his arms around Gwil, “alright then.” 

“Ben?” Gwil talks against Ben’s neck.

Ben smiles, “Gwil?”

“I love you.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s ear since it’s all he can reach, “I love you too.”

Gwil sighs loudly, “I guess I can let you up then. But promise me you’ll come right back.”

Ben runs his hand up and down Gwil’s back, “I promise. I’ll brush my teeth and come right back to you.”

Gwil rolls onto his back again. Ben gives him a quick kiss as he crawls over him. He yelps when Gwil slaps him on the ass.

Ben calls over his shoulder as he walks to the bathroom, “love you!”

“Love you, too!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [here](https://spacedustmazzello.tumblr.com/post/190867531517/moodboard-for-everything-still-to-come-for-my-ao3) is a moodboard for the story. Two pictures from it apply to this chapter.

Gwil is in his parents kitchen helping his mam decorate a cake. With Ben coming home a day earlier than Gwil thought, they were able to go out and buy presents for each other’s families. They are at Gwil’s parents for the weekend having Christmas early with all the grandkids so his siblings can all go to their spouses on the actual day. Gwil was going to just stay with his mam and tad, but now he’s going with Ben to his parents. Gwil can’t stop smiling that they are meeting each other's families. It’s even better that they are spending the holiday together.

Gwil’s mam, Ceinwen, is leaning against the counter watching him. Gwil looks over at her from the corner of his eye. It looks like she’s just waiting for his attention to say something. He puts down the icing pipette and turns to her.

She crosses her arms over her chest, “so, who is this man you brought home?”

Gwil has told her plenty about Ben over the last year. He looks at her for just a minute with his mouth slightly open, “Ben?”

She smirks, “your roommate? Who’s now stealing you for Christmas?”

Gwil picks up the icing again, “we..we haven’t exactly had that conversation yet.” He can see her smiling wide in his peripheral vision.

“And you brought him to my house? To meet all your siblings? It was 2 years before you did that in your last relationship.” Gwil blushes. “I have to start all my jumpers in January there’s so many people now. I just need to know if he’ll be at next Christmas.”

Gwil’s family means so much to him he’s always been hesitant to introduce them to whoever he was dating in case they get attached. If it didn’t work out with someone, he’d be hurting his family rather than just himself. With Ben though, things feel different with him. He’s not worried about that at all. Gwil smiles over at his mam, “please knit Ben a jumper.”

She rubs Gwil’s back, “good. I like him. Finish up here. I’m going to go get to know your new beau better.”

Gwil laughs and watches her leave the kitchen. He puts some finishing touches on it then joins everyone else out in the living room. He smiles immediately when he sees Ben giving his nephew a piggyback ride while he looks at the tree. Ben puts his nephew down. Gwil walks up to him. 

He puts his hands on his hips, “you told me no.”

Ben chuckles, “you’re a little bit bigger.”

Gwil smiles, “I guess a little bit.” He puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder and leans down to kiss him.

“WOAH!! What’s this? You’re kissing him?” Gwil’s brother, Geraint, calls out from the couch, where he’s sitting with one of his kids on his lap.

Gwil looks at his brother, over to Ben, then back to Geraint, “yeah. We’re…” He looks at Ben again, who just smirks at him. “We kiss.” 

When they got to his parents Gwil suddenly realized he didn’t know what to introduce Ben as. Ben got home and told Gwil he loves him, then they went to sleep curled up together. When they woke up in the morning before going shopping, they were busy using their mouths for things other than talking. They haven’t labeled what they are yet. Ben had just shrugged on the doorstep and said to introduce him as Ben.

Geriant still looks confused, “you’re gay? Did I miss something?”

“What?” Gwil gives him an equally dumbfounded look back, “Bi, but yes? I told you this.”

Geraint shrugs, “you were with Ava and about to have kids then you broke up. I thought you were joking when you said it was because you’re into dudes. I thought something happened and you just didn’t walk to talk about it.”

Gwil scoffs, “no. Why would I do that?”

Gwil’s sister Rhiannon, who’s sitting next to Geraint laughs. He glares at her, “I don’t know?” He looks back to Gwil, “you’re a really good actor. I thought it was sarcasm.”

“It wasn’t.” Gwil looks over at Ben and smiles, “I’m in love with Ben.” 

Ben beams at Gwil then turns to Geraint and gives him a small wave.

Geraint laughs, “hi. He seems nice. He said he likes rugby and the kids like him.”

Gwil brushes his hand down Ben’s arm, “he is nice. He’s wonderful.”

Ben bits his lip and leans against Gwil.

The rest of the weekend goes wonderful. Ben fits into Gwil’s family seamlessly. When they are leaving, Geraint tells him if they break up, he’s keeping Ben instead. Gwil rolled eyes at that but was thankful for the sentiment behind it.

++++++++

Neither of Ben’s parents or his brother seemed surprised to see Gwil at their house or by their kissing in front of them.

When Ben wakes up Christmas morning, he’s still lying on Gwil’s chest where he fell asleep. He stretches a bit before settling back against Gwil. He kisses Gwil’s jaw. He can see Gwil’s eyelids barely opening. Ben smiles, “Merry Christmas, baby.”

Gwil smiles with his eyes now closed again, “it’s too early for Christmas.”

Ben laughs. He pushes himself up and straddles Gwil. He leans down to kiss him, “it still is Christmas though.” He looks at the clock, “any minute we’ll be summoned downstairs.” Ben kisses along Gwil’s jaw to his ear then down his neck.

Gwil moans softly, runs his hands up and down Ben’s side, “I could get used to waking up this way.” 

Ben smiles, “good.” Ben moves back to Gwil's mouth. They kiss for a bit before Ben pulls back, “I love you.”

Gwil pushes hair off Ben’s forehead, “I love you, too.” Gwil kisses Ben softly. He puts his hands on Ben’s hips, ready to flip him over when Ben’s mum calls out for them to come downstairs. Ben groans and crawls off Gwil. They both get dressed and head downstairs.

Ben’s mum, Angela, hands Ben a bottle of champagne to open when they go into the kitchen. She walks over to the stove, turning it on. She turns around, “how would you like your eggs?”

Gwil looks to Ben, “oh, however everyone else is having them is fine with me.” Ben hands him a flute.

Angela smiles at him, “you’re so easy. That’s lovely.”

Ben smirks and leans into Gwil, talking quietly, “you are easy.” Gwil’s jaw drops and he tries looking offended. 

Angela obviously heard him because she turns around and smacks Ben’s shoulder, “don’t talk about Gwil like that.”

Ben scoffs and rubs his shoulder, “you’ve JUST met him. You’ve known him twelve hours.” Gwil laughs.

“Yes, but you’ve told me about him for a lot longer.” She smiles at Gwil, “he also makes you so happy. I need you to be nice to him so he stays around.”

Ben puts his arm around Gwil’s waist, “I’m not doing anything to mess this up. Don’t worry.” 

Gwil puts his arm around Ben’s shoulders. He smiles down at Ben, who pushes up to meet Gwil’s lips.

Angela watches with a smile on her face, “good. Now go tell your father and brother they’re late and making a bad impression.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “yes, mum.” Ben kisses Gwil again, “be right back.”

Ben comes back downstairs from fetching his brother and dad. He hears Gwil and his mum laughing together. He thinks it’s just the best noise. He loves how they’ve just welcomed Gwil right in. He’s started to think that Gwil will be part of his family some day and is thrilled that his family seems so ready to accept Gwil into it already.

++++++++

Ben looks through his calendar, then leans over to look over Gwil’s shoulder at his, “so we’ve got tomorrow together. Then we’re basically busy until March.” Ben sighs and rests his head against Gwil’s shoulder.

Gwil kisses the top of Ben’s head. They’ll possibly be together for various award shows if the movie gets nominated like expected. The studio booked them tickets just in case. Gwil does feel like they’ll barely get alone time already. Tomorrow is really the only day they have just for them. He’s about to ask Ben if he can finally take him on a date but Ben talks first.

Ben sighs, “I feel like I already miss you.” He lifts his head and turns on the sofa to face Gwil, “I want to be with you, like we should do this for real. The distances are really going to take a commitment. I know we’ve already sort of been doing the long distance thing but it’s still a big commitment. I want that though if you do.”

Gwil turns towards Ben. He rests his hand on Ben’s thigh, watching his hand as he rubs it lightly, “you’re right. It will.” The last week they’ve spent with their families has just cemented how much Gwil loves Ben. Other than Gwil’s brother being surprised at their kiss, there was no awkwardness. Ben fit right in right away. Gwil felt like he fit into Ben’s family just the same. He doesn’t really feel like boyfriend adequately describes what Ben is to him. Gwil smiles to himself then looks up at Ben, “you’re very right. We’ve jumped into everything else. Sex. Friendship. Living together. I have a suggestion for doing it one more time.” 

Gwil kisses Ben’s forehead before getting up and going into his room. He searches through his bag looking for the cigars his brother gave him.

“What are you doing?” Ben calls out, “do you mean using one bedroom? Are you getting your pillow?”

Gwil finds what he’s looking for. He takes a deep breath and goes back out to Ben. He stands with hands clasped together in front of Ben for a moment. 

Ben looks up at him, giving Gwil just a perfect smile. 

Gwil bites the inside of his lip and kneels before Ben. 

Ben narrows his eyes, “what are you doing?”

Gwil holds out the gold band from one of the cigars, “marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH!!!! 
> 
> There’s a gif from Queer Eye I really wish I could put here
> 
> I know one person was ready for what happened at the end! Any one surprised?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having this written but not posted was just making me procrastinate writing more. 
> 
> Happy International Women’s day if you identify as such and if not, happy Sunday (central US time zone)

Ben smiles and snuggles into Gwil’s shoulder, laughing lightly.

Gwil strokes the back of Ben’s head and kisses his temple, “what are you laughing at?”

Ben smiles, “just thinking about how we met. Great story.”

“Oh, yeah.” Gwil kisses his head again, “do you want to tell your parents first or mine?”

Ben smiles,lifting his head to look up at Gwil, “that we got married today?”

Gwil laughs and shakes his head, “no, that you put your hand in my pants two minutes after meeting me.”

Ben scoffs, “it was more than that. But look what it got me.” Ben kisses his jaw, feeling the hair of Gwil’s beard tickle his lips.

Gwil scrunches up his face, “mmm you could do better.”

“No I couldn’t.” Ben snuggles against Gwil’s chest, his arms around his waist.

Gwil wraps his around Ben’s shoulders, “this is your last chance to run, Ben. We’re at the front of the queue now.”

Ben squeezes Gwil tighter, “I’m good here.”

“Good.” Gwil smiles, kisses Ben’s head again as they wait for their marriage certificate. Gwil smiles more thinking about last night when he proposed.

_ Ben narrows his eyes, “what are you doing?” _

_ Gwil holds out the gold band from one of the cigars, “marry me?” _

_ Ben smiles wide, his eyes glassy. He just watches Gwil for a moment, wondering if this is really happening.  _

_ Gwil smiles and quirks up an eyebrow, waiting for Ben to answer. He swallows, wondering if this is too much. He takes a deep breath, “I love you, Ben. I love you more than anything. I am committed to making this relationship work and building a life with you. It will get hard with our careers, but everything will just mean nothing without you. I know it’s a bit crazy. We’ve jumped into everything else. Take one more leap with me. Will you marry me? _

_ Ben licks his lips and quickly nods, “yes. I’ll marry you.” _

After some charm from both of them, a judge agreed to marry them that day. Gwil sits in the judge's chambers, holding Ben’s hand as the certificate is prepared. Gwil hears the judge make a noise and he looks away from Ben and over at her.

She looks surprised to have their attention, “sorry. Just the way you two are looking at each other. It’s sweet.” Someone knocks on the door. A man comes in and hands her a piece of paper. She nods, “perfect. Can you stay?” She looks at Gwil and Ben, “or do you two have a witness coming?”

Ben looks at Gwil and makes a face, “should we have asked a friend?”

Gwil shrugs, “whoever we didn’t ask would have been jealous.”

Ben chuckles and looks to the judge, “we don’t have a witness.”

She asks the man to stay, “do you two have vows you’d like to say, or are we just signing? Both are legal.”

Ben smiles at Gwil, “I have things to say, but if you don’t I’ll just tell you later.”

Gwil grins, “I have things too.”

The judge smiles, “very well. Please stand.” They both look at her. She stands as well, “it will feel more official when you look back.”

They both stand and start to talk at the same time.

Ben ducks his head and laughs. He looks back up at Gwil, “do you mind if I go first? I’ll probably cry too much if you go first.” Gwil smiles and nods. Ben takes a deep breath and reaches out for Gwil’s hands, “I know I tell you this a lot, but I’m still trying to make up for all the times I didn’t. I love you so much. I love you more than I thought I was capable of. Each day I wake up and have you in my life is better than the one before.” Ben looks down at the hands and blinks away some tears, “I didn’t want marriage before you. I didn’t really see the point. Don’t worry, that’s changed.” The judge snickers. Ben looks at her and smiles. He looks back at Gwil when Gwil takes one hand back to wipe away a tear. They smile at each other. Ben continues, “I can’t wait to go through all the good and bad in life together. I want to be next to you for all of it.” 

Ben starts welling up more. It’s getting harder for him to talk, “I love you, Gwilym.”

Gwil sniffles and looks up, “damn Ben.” Gwil wipes away some more tears. He clears his throat and squeezes Ben’s hands, “being with you, you’ve introduced to a lot of things.” Ben smirks and raises his eyebrows. Gwil smiles, “the best of them is what it’s like to be in love with someone when you really know each other. I’ll forever be grateful that we were friends first. For the foundation that gave us. Like you said, good and bad, I’m ready for all of it with you. For the rest of our lives.”

Gwil squeezes Ben’s hands again and leans in to kiss him.

“Wait!” The judge laughs, “you need to sign first.” She pushes the certificate towards them. 

Ben gestures towards the paper, “after you.” Ben wants to cheer out in happiness as he watches Gwil sign. 

Gwil pushes the certificate closer to Ben. He leans against him, “now remember, legally you’re Benjamin Jones.” Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek.

Ben laughs then signs. He puts the pen down, “I think I’m Benjamin Lee-Jones now.”

The judge smiles, “you are. Well, the name is another form.” She signs the certificate, “but you’re now married. I pronounce you husbands.” She smiles, “you can kiss now.”

Gwil reaches out, cupping Ben’s face with one hand and the other on his waist. Ben pushes up, wrapping his arms around Gwil’s shoulders as their lips meet.

Ben breaks the kiss first because he’s smiling, “we’re married.”

Gwil beams at him, brushing his cheek with his thumb, “I know.”

Ben laughs lightly, “I know, too.” Ben leans back in to kiss him again.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried, in public, writing Ben’s vows


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rating applies to the beginning of this chapter

By the time Ben and Gwil get back to their flat from getting married, they are both giggling messes. Gwil trips on the stairs and Ben drops the keys trying to unlock their door. Ben finally gets the door unlocked and is about to open it when Gwil grabs his wrist and pulls him back.

“Wait!” Gwil stops Ben. He gives him a quick kiss before ducking down to pick him up bridal style. Gwil swiftly lifts Ben up.

Ben playful rolls his eyes, “really?” He puts his arms around Gwil’s neck anyways. 

Gwil kisses his cheek, “of course.” Gwil steps up to the door and tries to turn the knob. “Err, Ben?”

Ben laughs, “this plan is going great.” Ben lets go of Gwil with one hand and opens the door. 

Gwil kicks the door shut behind him and walks Ben to their now shared bedroom. He tosses Ben on the bed, making Ben giggle again. Gwil rips off his shirt and pushes down his trousers and boxers as quickly as he can. Ben does the same on the bed, throwing them on the side of the bed. Gwil crawls onto the bed and puts his knees by Ben’s head. He starts kissing Ben’s stomach.

Ben laughs, “what are you doing down there?” Gwil swirls his tongue around the head of Ben’s cock. Ben whimpers, “oh. That.”

Gwil lays on his side. He lifts one of Ben’s hips so they are angled towards him. He wraps a hand around the base of Ben’s dick. He rubs the head along his lips, lightly licking the tip. He smiles when he hears Ben moaning lightly. He slowly moves his lips down over the head. He moans around it when he feels Ben’s fingers trailing up his cock. 

He takes more of Ben’s dick into his mouth. He tries to concentrate on what he’s doing with his mouth as Ben starts kissing along his shaft. It gets harder to focus when Ben almost immediately takes all of Gwil into his mouth. Gwil’s hips buck slightly as Ben hollows his cheeks around his cock. 

Gwil slides a finger into his mouth alongside Ben’s cock, moving his mouth up and down both, getting them covered with saliva. He takes the finger out and rubs the pads of his finger around Ben’s hole. He moves one hand around Ben’s leg that isn’t against the mattress and lifts it so he can have better access. 

Ben realizes what Gwil is going to do. He takes his mouth off his cock and reaches over to the bedside drawer to get out the lube. He taps Gwil’s shoulder with the bottle. Gwil hums in appreciation around Ben’s dick. 

Ben’s head falls back, “oh...Gwil.” 

Gwil hums again and picks up the pace of his head as he spreads lube over his finger. Gwil takes his mouth off Ben and rolls onto his back.

He pats his chest, “sit here.”

Ben smiles and straddles Gwil’s chest. He leans over to resume sucking on Gwil’s cock as Gwil licks over his hole. 

Gwil licks a broad swipe over Ben before pushing the tip of his tongue against him. Gwil pushes a finger into Ben. They moan together as they each work on the other. 

Gwil slides another finger into Ben. He spreads his fingers slightly so he can lick in between them. 

Ben takes as much of Gwil into his mouth as he can. He feels Gwil’s fingers still as the head of Gwil’s cock is hitting the back of Ben’s throat. Ben moans around Gwil’s cock.

Gwil cries out, “god Ben. You’re so good.”

Ben moans again and Gwil thrusts up into his mouth.

“Sorry.” Gwil squeezes his eyes shut, “I love you so much.” Gwil resumes pumping his fingers into Ben.

Ben takes his mouth off Gwil. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, “I love you, too.” Ben pushes his hips back against Gwil’s hand, fucking himself on his fingers a bit. Gwil curls his fingers in Ben. Ben whimpers, “fuck, baby.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s taint, “that’s it, husband...Get ready for my cock...good boy”

“Oh Gwil...I need more.” Ben pants. Ben loves Gwil calling him husband just as much as he enjoys being called a good boy.

Gwil takes his fingers out, adding more lube to three of his fingers as Ben lays back down on Gwil. 

Ben lifts Gwil’s cock to his lips, sliding his tongue through the tip. He sucks on the head as Gwil pushes three fingers into him. 

Gwil pumps and curls his fingers in Ben. He kisses Ben’s hip, “Ben.”

“Mmm.'' Ben responds the best he can with Gwil’s dick and fingers in him.

Gwil’s eyelids flutter as Ben sucks hard, “can I fuck you now?”

Ben slowly takes his mouth off Gwil, rubbing his tongue along it as he goes, “yes, please.”

Gwil takes his fingers out, presses one more kiss to Ben’s hole, then pats his hips, “turn around, please.”

Ben turns around and lays back down on Gwil so they are face to face, “hi.” He kisses Gwil.

Gwil cups Ben’s face, kissing him slowly. He pulls back, “thank you for marrying me today.”

Ben smiles broadly, “best day of my life. Or tied with when you said you love me.” Ben kisses him, “thank you for asking me.”

Gwil wraps his arms around Ben. He hugs him against his chest as they kiss more. 

Ben reaches behind himself and takes Gwil’s cock in his hand. He moves his hips so he can line Gwil up with his hole as they keep kissing. Ben pushes himself down on Gwil’s cock. Gwil moans against his mouth. Ben keeps sliding down until he’s completely sheathed Gwil. Ben starts to roll his hips. 

Gwil kisses along Ben’s jaw to his neck. Gwil then moves along Ben’s collarbone to his shoulder. He turns his head, resting it on Ben’s shoulder with his lips pressed against Ben’s neck as they rock together. Gwil closes his eyes so he can focus on how Ben feels around him, against him, and how he sounds as he moans. He can’t believe he’s lucky enough to get to feel this connection with Ben for the rest of their lives. He opens his eyes and feels a tear slide down his cheek.

Ben sits up a bit. He sees the tears in Gwil’s eyes. He stills his hips and reaches out to cup Gwil’s face, wiping away a tear, “are you okay?”

Gwil kisses Ben’s palm, “yes. I’m perfect.”

Ben smiles, “yeah?” Gwil nods. “I love you, Gwil.”

“I love you, too.” Gwil moves his hands to Ben’s hips, starting to move them again slowly. 

Ben starts to pick up the pace. Gwil’s grip tightens. He starts to move Ben faster, then he holds his hips and fucks up into him quickly. The sounds of Ben’s whimpering is broken up by the force Gwil is thrusting into him. 

Ben’s noises, the sound of Ben’s cock hitting his stomach as he bounces, and Gwil’s skin slapping against Ben’s fills the room, somehow turning Gwil on more than he already is.

Ben starts clenching around Gwil. Gwil bites his lip, trying to keep up his paces and hold off his own orgasm till Ben comes. Ben wraps his hand around himself, quickly stroking himself. Gwil’s dick is hitting him perfectly, he only lasts through a few pumps of the added friction. 

Gwil lowers his hips back to the mattress. Ben keeps riding him until Gwil comes inside him. 

Ben sighs happily and lifts himself of Gwil’s cock before falling onto the bed beside Gwil. 

Gwil pulls Ben onto his chest. He kisses the top of his head, “I love you.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s chest, “I love you, too.” Ben snuggles in as close as he can, “what are we going to do with the other bedroom?”

Gwil smiles, “we could make it an office and reading area.”

Ben nods, “that’s a great idea. Then if one of us wants to watch TV, the other has somewhere to go that’s not sitting in bed.”

Gwil smirks, “you mean when you don’t want to watch England lose to Wales?”

Ben pinches Gwil’s side, laughing at the noise Gwil makes, “that’s not what I meant. I’ll watch that game with you so I can rub it in your face when Wales loses.”

Gwil chuckles, “let’s not argue on our wedding day.” He kisses Ben’s head. They lay there quietly for a moment. 

Ben taps a finger on Gwil’s chest, “who’s parents are we calling first?”

Gwil thinks for a minute, “what if we try inviting both to lunch here tomorrow. If they can come at noon or by 1 pm, we’d have enough time before our flight.”

Ben pushes himself up a bit to look at Gwil, “they do need to meet.”

Gwil smiles, “perfect then.” 

Ben crawls off Gwil and gets off the bed. He starts putting his boxer briefs back on.

Gwil laughs lightly, “what are you doing?” He reaches for his jeans, fishing his phone out of the pocket to text his mam.

Ben scoffs, “I can’t talk to my mum naked.”

Gwil tries not to smile and nods, “sure. How would she know?”

“I’d know!” Ben pulls his jumper back on.

“Yeah, alright.” He really wants to laugh more. Gwil bites his lip as he types out the message to his mam. He settles back on the bed, watching Ben talk to his parents. He rubs Ben’s back as Ben tries to explain that nothing is wrong, they just want them to come over. Gwil’s mom replies asking if they need to bring anything. He responds that there’s no need as Ben hangs up and lays down next to gwil. 

Gwil drums his fingers on his own chest, “we should go get champagne to celebrate after we tell them.”

“What if it’s not a celebration?” Ben is worried their parents will think they are moving too fast. Ben knows he’d say the same to anyone else.

Gwil turns on his side to look at Ben, “then you and I will get buzzed on it after.”

Ben laughs, “alright. I need toothpaste, too.” 

Gwil tugs at Ben’s arm, “come on. Get up. Let’s go to the store.”

“Won’t you go for me?” Ben bats his lashes and bites his lip at Gwil.

Gwil shakes his head, smiling, “you’re really going to let your husband out of your sight after,” he turns to look at the clock, “3 hours?”

Ben stretches and runs his fingers along the skin of his stomach between his jumper and briefs. He smirks when Gwil’s eyes follow, “you’d only be gone a little while.”

Gwil looks up at Ben’s face and playfully rolls his eyes, “if you come with me, I’ll fuck you again afterward.”

“Deal.” Ben smiles and immediately gets out of bed.

Gwil laughs and gets up as well.

++++++++

Ben walks up behind Gwil, who is checking on their food delivery order, and rests his head between his shoulders while he wraps his hands around his waist.

Gwil makes a happy noise and puts one hand against Ben’s arms, “food should arrive shortly after your parents.” He puts his phone down and just holds Ben’s arms, letting Ben cuddle against him. 

“Sounds great.” Ben tightens his grip, “what if everyone’s mad?”

Gwil grabs Ben’s wrists and loosens his grip just enough for him to turn around. Gwil wraps his arms around Ben’s shoulders, kissing his temple, “then we’ll deal with it together, as husbands.” Gwil can’t help the huge smile that erupts on his face when he says the word husbands. 

“Husbands.” Ben smiles and nuzzles against Gwil’s chest, “we got married.”

Gwil chuckles, “we did! I was there. It was lovely.”

Ben pulls back then pushes up to kiss Gwil, “it was.”

Gwil holds Ben tighter against him and starts kissing all over his face. Between kisses he says, “you...are...lovely.” Ben laughs when Gwil starts making them very wet sloppy kisses. The door buzzes.

Ben starts trying to move away from Gwil, but he just walks with Ben and keeps kissing him wherever he can reach. Ben laughs louder, “Gwil! Your parents!”

Gwil mumbles against Ben’s cheek, “they can wait.” Gwil sighs and releases Ben, “they’re your parents too now.”

Ben smiles, “I guess they are.”

Gwil presses the button to let his parents up. He opens the door and waits for them. 

Ceinwen comes in, gives Gwil a quick hug, “aren’t you leaving today?” She walks over to Ben, kissing his cheek, “hi, Ben.”

Gwil’s dad, Tom, follows in after her, “Ben.” He gives Ben a quick hug, “I know you didn’t get my son pregnant. What’s this about?” 

Ben laughs nervously and looks over to Gwil, who is now hugging his dad.

Gwil doesn’t want to give anything away before Ben’s parents are also there, “we just thought you should meet Ben’s parents. We’ll be gone for a while. Seemed like a good day.”

Ben bites his lip, trying not to laugh at the poor excuse.

Ceinwen slips out of her coat and hands it to Gwil’s extended hand, “Angela and Keith, I’m friends with Ben’s mam on Facebook.”

Gwil rolls his eyes, “of course you are.”

Ben holds his hand out to Tom, “let me take your coat, sir.”

Tom chuckles, “you don’t have to call me sir.” He hands Ben his coat and scarf anyways.

Gwil leans over, talking low to just Ben, “you really don’t.” 

Ben sticks his tongue out at Gwil, “my folks will be here any moment. Their train was delayed. Please sit.” Ben takes Ceinwen’s coat from Gwil and hands both of them up in the closet by the door.

Ceinwen walks into the living room, looking around, “I really like the flat.” She sits down on the sofa. She reaches for a piece of paper on the coffee table.

“MAM! Don’t!” Gwil bends over, putting his hand on the paper so she can’t look at it. 

Ceinwen looks between Gwil and Tom, then over at Ben, “what’s going on?”

Gwil gives her a slightly guilty smile, “just wait. We’ll show you later.” Gwil sits back in one of the chairs. Ben sits on the arm of Gwil’s chair. Gwil puts his arm around Ben’s hips. They start making small talk. Gwil asks how all the grand kids are and it gets his mam talking for the next fifteen minutes when the door buzzes again.

Ben stands, “that will be them.” He stands up and lets his parents in. Gwil follows after him. Ben stands by the open door. His hands feel sweaty so he rubs them on Gwil arm where his jumper sleeve is pushed up. He smiles up at Gwil, “I’m nervous.”

Gwil rubs his shoulder, “me, too. We’ll be alright though, yeah?”

Ben nods, “no one should die.” 

Gwil laughs and kisses Ben, “I love you.” 

Ben grins, “I love you, too.” Ben hears his mum’s voice so he pops his head into the hallway.

Ben’s parents come in, giving both Gwil and Ben hugs. They go into the living room to introduce them to Gwil’s parents. The moms hug while the dads shake hands. They all sit down. Ceinwen and Tom go back to sitting on the sofa, now joined by Angela. Keith sits in a chair at the end of the sofa by his wife. Ben and Gwil sit in chairs they brought in from the kitchen table, each of them is sitting opposite their mom across the coffee table. Ben starts to talk but his dad interrupts.

Keith smiles, “what was so important we come over today? One of you knocked up?”

Tom cracks up, he points to himself and leans forward to look at Keith, “that’s what I said!” Their wives exchange amused, but knowing looks.

Gwil rubs his hands over his thighs, “well, I hope you continue to get along.” Gwil glances over at Ben.

Ben thinks his mom looks worried, “we...we got married yesterday.” 

No one says anything for probably only a few seconds, but it feels much longer to Gwil and Ben.

Ceinwen looks at her husband then Gwil, “legally?”

Gwil finally exhales, “yes.”

Keith leans over towards Ben, “how long has this been planned? Why weren’t we invited?” 

Angela crosses her arms over her chest. Ben swallows hard. He looks over at Gwil when he starts to talk.

“It wasn’t really planned. We got engaged Thursday evening.” Gwil scratches at his beard.

Tom narrows his eyes at Gwil, “why the rush?”

Gwil shrugs, “it felt right.”

Ben bites his lip, “to both of us.” He reaches out for Gwil’s hand. He steals a glance at his still silent mum before looking at Tom and Ceinwen, “I love your son. I’m not sure what all he’s told you and I know our relationship seems new, but I’ve been in love with your son for...well over a year.” He looks over at Gwil and smiles. He wants to kiss him but doesn’t think this is the time.

Gwil beams back at Ben, “same here.” He looks over to all the parents, “I haven’t thought of anyone else since we met. I couldn’t have if I tried. I’m committed to him. It doesn’t feel rushed. It feels right.” Gwil squeezes Ben’s hand.

Ben slowly turns to look at his mum. He takes a deep breath, “mum?” Ben watches his mum just look down at her lap. He bites his lip, trying to stop tears from forming. Gwil squeezes his hand again.

“Ben.” Keith looks at his wife, “your mother has been looking forward to your wedding. She didn’t think there’d be one. Because of laws, then you didn’t seem to want one.”

Angela looks up at Ben, “I thought when you didn’t stop talking about Gwil, maybe I’d get to help plan one.”

“We talked last night.” Ben looks at Gwil and tries not to smile thinking about their evening, “we thought about still having one.” He looks back to his parents. 

“You are?” The slightest smile starts to form on Angela’s mouth.

Gwil looks over at her, “we can’t undo..”Gwil looks up at the ceiling, “okay, we could get divorced.” Gwil looks at Ben who has just made a horrified sound. Gwil smiles and leans in, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “no, we can’t do that, but we would like to have a day with everyone celebrating. A party of some sort.”

Keith perks up a bit, “would I get to walk Ben down an aisle?”

Tom frowns, “why don't I get to walk Gwil down the aisle?”

Gwil and Ben exchange a smile. Ben laughs lightly, “all that can be worked out later.” He looks over at his mum, trying to gauge how onboard with the situation she is now.

She shakes her leg that is crossed over the other, “If I can go suit shopping with you, I can forgive you for not inviting me to the first one?”

Ben grins, “we can do that.” His mom nods and smiles. Ben beams over at Gwil. His mom stands and pulls Ben up into a hug. Gwil stands and gives her a hug next. The other three parents stand and hug them as well.

Gwil walks into the kitchen to get the champagne they got last night and some glasses.

After all the glasses are handed out, Tom puts his arm around Gwil, who’s holding Ben’s hand, “to our new son, and new family members.”

They all cheers and sip. Gwil steps out of his tad’s arm to kiss Ben softly. They all start talking about places the wedding could be.

Ceinwen turns to the coffee table, “what this paper then?”

“Oh!” Gwil smiles, “that’s our marriage certificate in case you didn’t believe us.”

Ceinwen laughs, “well, I figured you’d marry him after Christmas. Just thought I’d know about it beforehand.”

Gwil grimaces slightly, “are you mad?”

She shrugs, “I’ve married off three kids. This way was a lot less stressful. I’m just happy for you.”

Gwil smiles, “thank you.” He looks over at Ben, standing with his arm around his mum’s shoulders, “I’m very happy as well.”

++++++++

Joe sits on a stool at his kitchen counter, feeling slightly smug. He has a plan to get Ben and Gwil to admit that they have feelings for each other. It starts with having them share a bed together. He checks the time on his phone. The studio arranged transportation for Ben and Gwil from the airport even though their publicity events don’t start for a bit. Joe would have picked them up, but it was saving him from having to deal with traffic. His doorbell rings. He smirks to himself as he gets up to let them in.

There’s enthusiastic hugs exchanged before Joe gestures for them to sit on the couch. He tries to keep his face neutral or even slightly sad, “sorry, there’s only the one bed. You’ll have to stay together while we’re here.”

Ben smiles as he sits next to Gwil. Joe’s jaw slightly drops when Ben lifts Gwil’s arm and tucks himself under it, “that’s fine.” 

Joe narrows his eyes. He can’t tell if Ben is just doing this to make him jealous or not.

Ben looks up at Gwil, who smiles and gives him a quick nod, “we’re married so we are used to it.”

Joe scoffs, “oh fuck off.”

Gwil grins as he plays with his beard, “asked him the 27th, got married the 28th.”

Joe crosses his arms over his chest, still not having sat down with them. He doesn’t quite buy this story, “that was two days ago.”

Ben bites his lip and looks at Gwil, “yeah, so hope you don’t mind us having sex in your bed.” Ben winks at Gwil. Gwil’s expression changes to something a little lustier as he looks over Ben’s face.

Joe thought they might have hooked up a few times but this. His head feels like it’s going to explode, “WHAT?”

Ben laughs, “we’re married.”

Joe closes his eyes, trying to process this, “what?”

Gwil looks at him very seriously, “we have a legal marriage certificate.”

Joe rubs his hands over his face, “I can’t talk to you.” He turns around and goes into his room, shutting the door behind him.

Ben chuckles. He looks up at Gwil, who is also laughing. He leans forward a little to see Joe’s bedroom door. He calls out, “are you going to be in there a while? Can we fuck on the couch? It’s really soft.”

Gwil laughs again. He leans in to kiss Ben’s cheek, “I love you.”

Ben turns to kiss Gwil, “I love you, too.” Gwil cups his face and deepens the kiss. They break apart when they hear Joe come back out. Ben smirks at Joe as he approaches.

Joe stands in front of them again with his hands on his hips, “I wasn’t invited.”

“No one was.” Gwil reasons with him, hoping he’ll calm down. “And we aren’t advertising it yet so we don't distract from Allen’s day.”

Joe looks at the two of them. They are smiling at each other. They both seem happier than he’s seen them before, “where are your rings?”

Ben looks at his bare finger, “we haven’t gotten any yet.”

Gwil pulls Ben tighter against him, “our families want a wedding they can attend. We’ll exchange some then.”

Ben nods, “we are going to slowly let it know we are together publicly, probably this fall.”

Gwil smiles, “then have the wedding next summer.”

Joe shakes his head with a huge grin on his face, “you guys are so married. You’re finishing each other’s sentences.” Ben and Gwil smile at each other. Joe drops his smile, “you can’t fuck in my house. It’s your punishment for not inviting me.” Joe rolls his eyes, “I was going to try and get you guys to admit you like each other this week.”

Ben laughs, “I do like him, very much.”

Gwil chuckles, “ditto.”

Joe throws his hands up, “it was going to be perfect. You had to ruin my plan by getting married. Fuck, you’re really married?” 

Gwil looks at Ben softly, “yeah.” Ben rests his head against Gwil. Gwil kisses the top of it.

Joe sits down in the chair, “does this mean we have to get something nicer for dinner than pizza? It IS your honeymoon.”

Ben shakes his head, “‘m good with pizza.”

Gwil nods, “pizza is good. We’re having our fancy honeymoon later.”

Joe wiggles his eyebrows, “do I get to be at that one too?” Joe cackles when they both say no rather loudly.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place March 2019

Gwil stretches the best he can in his seat. He thinks he’s been in more planes in the past few months than he has in his entire life between press and going to all the award shows. There has been barely any downtime. He knows going to fancy parties, premiers, and celebrations isn’t anything to complain about but some of the days he didn’t know what timezone or day it was. He’s so glad for most of the recent traveling he was with Ben. He glances over at Ben and his shoulder’s relax. He smiles to himself. He’d be excited for a regular holiday but going on his honeymoon is more thrilling than he would have imagined. He’s been looking forward to spending a week of no responsibilities with Ben almost as much as getting to go home after starting their lives as husbands.

Ben is leaning against the window with his head turned away from Gwil. He sits forward a bit to see if Ben is awake. He chuckles when he sees Ben’s mouth is hanging open. Gwil presses a kiss to Ben’s shoulder.

Ben stirs. He blinks a few times and turns to Gwil, “are we landing?”

Gwil shakes his head. He kisses Ben’s cheek, “sorry for waking you.“

Ben groans as he stretches, “‘s alright. What have you been doing?”

Gwil shrugs, “watching you sleep.”

Ben chuckles, “that’d be creepy if we weren’t married.” Ben smiles wide, “we’re going on our honeymoon.” He leans over and kisses Gwil. He looks down at Gwil’s arm on the rest between their seats. He rubs his finger over Gwil’s exposed forearm. He looks up at Gwil through his eyelashes, “can we have sex?”

Gwil tries not to smile and shakes his head, “we’re in public, yeah?”

Ben licks his lips, “how about I just sit on your dick. Foreplay for later?” Ben bites his lip. He doesn’t think Gwil will actually go for this or that it’s necessarily a good idea. He just wants to get Gwil in the mood for what he has planned once they get to their room. 

Gwil shifts in his seat. He didn’t think he was into sex in public, but he feels his cock slightly harden at the idea of slipping into Ben while surrounded by people. He leans closer, talking low to Ben, “we’re in public. Everyone is asleep. We’ll be landing soon. Promise, as soon as we’re in our room.” He kisses Ben’s cheek, hovering by him for a moment to inhale his scent. 

Ben smiles and turns to kiss Gwil, “I’ll try and wait another hour then.” He winks at Gwil, “can I sleep against you instead?”

Gwil lifts the arm rest between them and pulls Ben against them, “of course.” 

Ben snuggles in against Gwil. Gwil kisses the top of Ben’s head before resting his head against it. 

++++++++

Gwil grabs for Ben’s hip the second the door closes behind him. He’s incredibly grateful the hotel let them into their room so early in the morning rather than waiting for the afternoon check in time. He’s pretty sure Ben and he would have ended up getting in trouble for public indecency otherwise.

Ben playfully slaps his hands away, “wait.” He grabs Gwil’s face between his hands and gives him a quick kiss, “I have a surprised for you.”

Gwil sighs and sits in one of the chairs in the sitting room part of their suite while Ben grabs his bag, taking it into the bedroom. Gwil had booked a regular room. He had told Brian and Roger all about the honeymoon they had planned at the Golden Globes. When they saw them again for the Oscars, they told Ben and him they got their room upgraded as a gift. He sees a bottle sitting on a small table with a card. He pushes himself up to go read it.

_We couldn’t wish this for two better people. Have a happy honeymoon and wonderful life together. We look forward to celebrating it with you when you return. Be good to each other our young dopplegangers_

_XX Bri and Rog_

Gwil smiles and looks at the label. He recognizes it as the Cognac Roger told him was his favorite during their conversation about where they were going. Gwil realizes it’s been a bit.

He walks up to the door and knocks softly, “everything alright, husband?” It’s been over two months and Gwil still can’t get over his excitement that Ben married him.

Ben huffs as he stands next to the bed with his hands on his hips. He calls out, “just a minute.” He doesn’t know how to sit or lay on the bed. Andy had given him a pair of black lace underwear as a joke after he told him he got married. The joke part being that they have a cut out on the backside. Ben decided against telling him Gwil would probably really enjoy these. They are currently all he is wearing. He doesn’t know if it’s better to display the back right away or not. He settles on waiting. He crawls onto the bed, sitting in the middle of it with his arms stretched over the pillows. He looks down to see the head of his cock peeking out of the waistband. He smirks and looks back up, “You can come in now, baby.”

Gwil slowly opens the door, looking around it. He spots Ben and his jaw drops a bit. He clears his throat, “you...you look...I’m a lucky man.”

Ben curls his finger, beckoning him closer, “come find out just how lucky you are.” Ben smirks and turns over onto his hands and knees.

Gwil stops in his tracks and makes a slightly strangled noise.

Ben looks over his shoulder, “you alright?”

Gwil shakes his head. He takes a deep breath, “damn.” Ben shakes his hips a bit. Gwil rubs his hands over his face, “you’re going to kill me.”

Ben smirks, “come join me in bed.” Ben stretches his arms out against the mattress then pushes his hips back, giving Gwil a nice view through the cutout. He lowers his voice, “husband.” Ben knows the effect that word has on Gwil.

Gwil groans loudly and quickly strips off his clothes. He crawls over the end of the bed, positioning himself behind Ben. He kisses up from Ben’s hip, up his spine, to his neck, and around to his face. Ben turns his head to face him. Gwil kisses him as he rolls his hips against him. Ben moans softly. Gwil uses the opportunity to lick into his mouth. 

After a few moments, Gwil moves his mouth back down Ben’s body. Gwil sits back on his heels when he reaches Ben’s tailbone. He rubs his hands over Ben’s hips as he takes in how the black lace looks against Ben’s skin. 

He rubs his thumbs over the skin exposed by the cutout, “where’d you get these?”

“Andy.” Ben laughs lightly.

Gwil smirks, “would it be weird if I wrote him a thank you card?”

Ben shakes with laughter, “a bit.”

Gwil leans down and kisses next to Ben’s hole, “I’d leave out the tawdry details.”

Ben smiles, “tawdry?”

Gwil nods, “like this.” He licks around Ben’s rim. 

Ben rubs his head against the pillow, “yeah...leave this out.”

Gwil presses his tongue against Ben, moaning against him when Ben pushes back, trying to get more pressure. Gwil works him open with his tongue till he can slide two fingers in. Ben moans loudly when Gwil curls them. Gwil rubs his fingertips around until he finds the spot that makes Ben cry out. Gwil wiggles his fingers against that spot. 

“Gwil…fuck...don’t stop.” Ben starts trying to fuck himself on Gwil’s fingers.

Gwil holds Ben’s hips still. He licks around his fingers, “just wait. I’m not done with this yet.”

Ben whimpers, “need more.”

Gwil chuckles, “all in due time, husband.” 

Ben makes a frustrated noise that quickly turns into a moan as Gwil puts his mouth back on him. Gwil looks over Ben’s back as he works at him to see Ben gripping tightly to one of the pillows. He sees lube Ben got out on the bed next to them. He reaches out for it and slides his fingers out. He rubs some over Ben and puts more of three of his fingers. He sits up so he can watch Ben’s face as he pushes them in. He wraps his other hand around Ben’s waist and palms him through the lace briefs. 

“Yes...Gwil…yes” Ben starts thrusting against Gwil’s hand, thankful for the friction. “Fuck me, Gwil.”

Gwil curls over Ben’s back and kisses below his ear, “I thought maybe I’d make you come like this first.” He kisses Ben’s neck, “Can you do that for me?” Gwil curls his fingers hard against Ben.

Ben whimpers and nods, “yeah.”

Gwil smiles, “good boy.” He slips his hand under the lace and wraps his hand around Ben’s cock. Gwil jerks him as he continues to pump his fingers in and out. He rests his head on Ben’s shoulder, listening to him moan and mumble “Gwil” repeatedly. Ben shutters and come in Gwil’s hand.

Gwil kisses his neck, “that’s it, bach.” He stokes Ben through his orgasm. 

Ben starts to push his legs back so he can lay flat on the bed. Gwil moves out of the way. Ben sighs loudly, “I may need a minute.” Ben smiles, “that was lovely.”

Gwil smiles and kisses Ben’s shoulder, “good.” He rolls over onto Ben’s back, “I thoroughly enjoyed it myself.” He kisses Ben’s cheek, “I love you.”

Ben grins, “I love you, too.”

Gwil straddles Ben’s legs, right under his bum. He looks over Ben, “I gotta say, I really love these briefs.”

Ben chuckles, “I’ve got a pair of crotchless ones too from Andy.”

Gwil hums appreciatively, “we managed well enough in these.” Gwil hooks his fingers under the hem, “I do love the feeling of your skin though.”

Ben lifts his hips enough for Gwil to pull them down, “yeah? What are you going to do about it?”

“Well, when you’re ready.” Gwil takes himself in his hand and rubs the head of his cock over Ben’s hole a few times before letting go of it to lean down and kiss Ben’s neck more.

Ben looks over his shoulder the best he can with Gwil laying against him, “not that this isn’t lovely, but I thought you were going to fuck me.”

Gwil smirks and looks at Ben, “I can do that.” Gwil sits back again. He squeezes some lube into his hand and rubs it over his cock. He lines himself up and slowly pushes in. He pulls most of the way out and pushes back in again. He does this slowly a few times, letting Ben adjust before picking up the pace. The first time he snaps his hips quicker, he watches Ben’s bum jiggle when his hips move against it. 

Gwil hums and rubs over Ben’s cheeks, “I don’t think I appreciate your arse enough.” Gwil rests his hands on it as he thrusts back in.

Ben scoffs lightly, “I adamantly disagree.” Ben moans when Gwil’s thrust hits particularly well.

Gwil massages Ben’s backside, “I mean this part.” He squeezes for emphasis.

Ben smiles, “you’re welcome to.” Ben clenches around Gwil, who groans in response, “I’m a fan of any attention you give it.”

Gwil laughs lightly, “I have noticed that.” Gwil picks up his pace, watching Ben’s bum move more, “I do like kissing you during though.”

Ben looks back at him, “then let me turn over.”

Gwil slips out and moves off of Ben’s legs, allowing him to turn over. Ben smiles while he spreads his legs wide for Gwil to settle between. Gwil lines himself up and leans down to kiss Ben as he pushes back in. 

Ben moans against Gwil’s lips. Between kisses he says, “it is better when we can kiss.” Ben wraps his arms and legs around Gwil.

Gwil quickly picks up the pace, panting against Ben’s mouth with intermittent kisses. Gwil can feel his orgasm building, “Ben...I’m going...come.”

Ben starts to clench around Gwil’s cock, trying to pull him closer to the edge, “come in me...I want to feel you”

Gwil groans loudly and spills inside Ben. Ben moans at the sensation. Gwil rests his head on Ben’s chest.

Ben starts to play with Gwil’s hair, “are we going to put clothes on during this trip or just stay here?”

Gwil chuckles, “maybe leave one day. We should spend the whole day in bed till tomorrow though. No pants. Just be naked.”

Ben smiles, “are we going to eat?”

Gwil kisses Ben’s chest, “I’ve got some almonds in my bag.”

Ben laughs, “perfect.” Ben kisses the top of Gwil’s head, “though if you’re walking around naked, we’re going to end up needing more food than that.”

Gwil sits up a bit to look at Ben, “I’ve actually made us supper reservations.”

Ben smiles, “do I need to get dressed yet?

Gwil shakes his head, “we’ve still got a few hours.”

“Good.” Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, pulling him back against his chest.

++++++++

They have spent most of their day walking around town, exploring. They stopped at a little cafe for some lunch. Ben brought his camera with him to capture memories of the day. Ben smiles and tries to take a picture of Gwil from behind as he’s walking. Gwil looks over his shoulder trying to see why Ben isn’t at his side right as Ben takes the picture. 

Gwil reaches his hand out to Ben, smiling, “come here dear husband.” 

Ben takes his hand and lets Gwil pull him in for a hug. Ben nuzzles against Gwil’s shoulder.

A couple is about to pass them, but the woman stops, “Do you want me to take a picture? You look adorable.”

Ben smiles, “thank you, yes.” He hands her his camera. She takes a few steps back and Ben wraps both arms around Gwil again. 

Gwil smiles at the lady as Ben stays tucked against him. 

“Here you go, I took a few.” She hands the camera back to Ben.

Gwil keeps his arms around and kisses his temple, “do you want to take some more pictures or head back.”

Ben squeezes Gwil tighter, “I think I’ve gotten dirty. We should probably go get in that giant tub in our room.”

Gwil chuckles, “oh yes. So dirty from our day of leisurely walking.” He lets go of Ben and holds out his hand, “let’s go get you cleaned up.”

  
  


Gwil looks at the tub, “this is the largest bathtub I’ve ever seen.” He looks up at Ben who is removing his shirt. He just watches as he takes the rest of his clothes off.

Ben laughs lightly, “you done drooling yet?”

“I’m just still not over it.” Gwil takes his shirt off, “You’re like a walking wet dream.”

Ben mumbles, “like you have a lot of room to talk.” He looks up a Gwil who is slightly blushing as he takes his trousers off.

Gwil turns on the water to a good temperature and gets into the tub. Ben steps into the space between Gwil’s legs and leans back against his chest. Ben holds his hand out on the top of the water, watching as it slowly gets covered. Gwil kisses his neck as he runs his fingers along Ben’s chest and abs.

Ben rests the back of his head against Gwil’s shoulder as his cheek presses against Gwil’s jaw, “you still going to love me when I’m old, wrinkly, and fat?”

Gwil whispers in Ben’s ear, “I’m going to love you forever, husband.”

“Good.” Ben smiles, “it’d be really awkward if at 90 you told me you were done with me.”

“Never.” Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek, “I’ll love you no matter what happens.” Gwil rests his hands on Ben’s chest.

“Same here.” Ben closes his eyes and relaxes against Gwil, resting his hands on top of Gwil’s.

++++++++

Ben sighs loudly as he zips up his suitcase, “do we have to go back?”

Gwil walks over, kisses his cheek before taking his suitcase, “sadly, yes.”

Ben grumbles, “I don’t want to.”

Gwil smiles and holds the door open for Ben, “I love being on holiday with you but I’m also excited just to be at home with you. See you at the end of the day.” Gwil follows Ben out into the hallway.

Ben hooks his arm around Gwil’s elbow, “I’m excited for that, too. I’m going to miss the tub though.”

Gwil laughs, “it is nice. I actually fit in it. Maybe someday we can move somewhere with a similar one.”

Ben smiles, “sounds perfect. My lease, that we should probably put your name on, is up at the end of the year.”

Gwil beams at him, “maybe we can buy something.”

Ben nods, “I’d like that. Proper married home.”

Gwil chuckles, “are we not in one now?”

Ben shrugs, “we are. We’ve basically been in one since you moved in.” Ben winks at him.

Gwil laughs, “at least now I know you love me back.”

“That I do.” Ben grins, “can we get a place with a garden, too? For when you, or we have our friends over for dinners?”

Gwil smiles wide at Ben’s correction, “sounds lovely.” He stops Ben and kisses him, “we can have whatever you want.”

Ben kisses him back, “if you’re there, I’ll be fine with whatever.”

Gwil grins, “such a sap.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “we are still on our honeymoon.”

Gwil laughs, “I love it though.”

Ben kisses him again, “I’ll keep it up then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bach is a Welsh term of endearment
> 
> Sorry for the longer time between chapters than usual. I usually write at the library because I get distracted at home. It’s closed right now though.
> 
> Writing has been hard during the week day. I work in a hospital so haven’t been a home like a lot of folks these days.
> 
> I hope everyone is safe during these stressful times.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long.

“CUT! Reset,” The director calls out.

Ben sighs and walks over to his chair, grabbing his phone out of the pocket hanging from the arm rest. He unlocks it, hits the contact at the top of his favorites, and walks over to the edge of the lake as the call connects. He bends over and picks up a smooth stone. He paces as the phone continues to ring. Gwil’s voicemail picks up, again. It’s been doing that everytime Ben tries to call him during the day. He knows Gwil is filming as well, but he thought at least once they would be on break at the same time. He hangs up, opting against leaving another message. He still feels bad about the snarky tone of his voicemail the previous day when he just said, “hey husband, give me a call when you get some free time.”

He flings the stone against the water. It skips a few times before disappearing. He gets a whiff of cigarette smoke. He turns to look for the source. His co-star is smoking with a few members of the crew that aren’t resetting the scene. He rubs his thumb against his pointer and middle finger. Everytime he sees them smoking on set, he's itching to ask for one. He gave it up for Gwil and knows how much Gwil would hate it. Ben thinks how he hates that Gwil isn’t answering his phone. Ben rubs his hands over his face and turns back to the water, mentally chasitzing himself for considering doing something bad for him just because he’s frustrated Gwil is busy.

Gwil is working. Ben knows this from their phone calls at night. Gwil is also really enjoying the project. Ben is incredibly happy for him. He knew they’d be apart often just as they were before they were married. He decides to try and call Joe so he doesn’t dwell on the fact they talked more often when they weren’t even technically together. Joe doesn’t pick up either. Ben turns back to look at the crew smoking. He chews on his lip for a minute before the director calls him over to discuss the scene.

+++++++

Ben unlocks the door to their flat and pops his head around it. He grumbles to himself when all the lights are off. He was hoping Gwil was already home. Gwil told him that morning before he went to set that he thought he’d be done filming and could be home at the same time as Ben. There was surprisingly little traffic on the way back from the airport. Ben was hopeful that Gwil would still beat him home. He wanted to feel Gwil’s arms around him the second he got home. He decides to shower before Gwil gets back.

Ben is drifting in and out of sleep on the sofa when he feels a hand brush his cheek. His eyes flutter open and he sees his favorite smile in the world, “hi, baby.”

Gwil leans in to kiss him, “hi, husband.” He kisses Ben again before sitting down next to him. He pulls Ben’s legs over his lap.

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders. He wants their reunion to be happy but he can’t help that the first thing out of his mouth is, “you didn’t call like you usually do.”

Gwil wraps his arms around Ben’s waist and squeezes, “I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not that I didn’t miss you. The director didn’t allow phones on set. I snuck a text when I could.” Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek.

Ben rests his head against Gwil’s, “you know I prefer talking to you on the phone. I didn’t know you couldn’t have phones. I just like hearing your voice during the day.”

Gwil kisses along Ben’s jaw, his voice deep, “what about my voice?” Gwil rubs his hand over Ben’s thigh and ass.

Ben shifts a little, the tone of Gwil’s voice goes straight to his cock, “I’m trying to talk to you.”

Gwil drops his hands from Ben, “I’m sorry, Ben. I know I didn’t call off set as much as I should have. I have no excuses. I can only apologize.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize. I’m not mad.” Ben kisses Gwil’s cheek. He’s not actually mad. He just missed Gwil so much it hurt. “Can we just both agree to do better next time we’re apart? I didn’t need to leave you unpleasant voicemails. I’m sorry about that.”

Gwil kisses Ben softly, “you have nothing to apologize for. And of course we can agree to do better.” 

Gwil slowly puts his hands back on Ben, making him smile. Gwil pulls Ben further onto his lap. He pushes some of the hair off of Ben’s forehead and kisses his cheek. He wraps his arms tightly around Ben and starts to sing to him, “love of my life, I’ve hurt you...” Ben laughs lightly at the changed lyric. “I’ll bring it back, bring it back.”

Ben cuts off Gwil’s singing with a kiss, “can we go to bed now? I’ve missed cuddling with you.”

Gwil nods and kisses him slowly, “anything you want.”

Ben crawls off Gwil’s lap and extends a hand to help him up. Neither of them let go as they walk to their bathroom to start getting ready for bed. Ben stands at the sink, picking up his toothbrush to put toothpaste on it.

Gwil spreads his legs far apart so his head is low enough to rest his chin on Ben’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around Ben’s waist. He just watches Ben as he puts the brush up to his mouth.

Ben chuckles, “what are you doing?”

Gwil shrugs and kisses Ben’s neck. He starts singing to Ben more, “love of my life, can’t…” He’s surprised to see Ben blushing, “why are you blushing?”

Ben looks down at the sink before meeting Gwil’s eyes in the mirror, “you’ve never...love of my life. You’ve never said that before.”

Gwil quirks up his eyebrows, “I did marry you, yeah?”

“I know, but...I like hearing that still.” Ben obviously knows they got married. It just all happened so quickly, specific things like this weren’t said beforehand.

Gwil turns Ben around by his hips and cups his face gently, “there’s never going to be anyone else.” He kisses Ben softly, “I know we got married as a commitment to each other but I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. I never could.” He kisses Ben’s cheek and whispers in his ear, “I fall more in love with you all the time. Of course you’re the love of my life.”

Ben smiles wide, “same here.” He drapes his arms over Gwil’s shoulders and kisses him, “will you take me to bed?”

“Of course.” Gwil kisses Ben quickly before kneeling down slightly to wrap his hands around the back of Ben’s legs. Ben hops slightly to help Gwil lift him to his waist. Gwil kisses Ben’s neck as he carries him to bed.

Gwil gently sets Ben down on the edge of the bed and slowly undresses him, kissing over each new area of exposed skin. Ben pushes himself to the middle of the bed. Gwil strips off his clothes and settles between Ben’s legs. He takes his time prepping Ben, kissing his lips as much as he can between Ben’s moans. 

Ben holds on to Gwil as tight as he can as Gwil pushes into him and they start to rock together. 

Neither of them are in a hurry to come, just wanting to relish the feeling of being together again. Gwil slowly pushes his hips against Ben’s as he tells him how much he loves him and how good he feels wrapped around him again.

Ben is actually surprised when he suddenly comes, though not actually shocked that it’s Gwil’s praise is what did it for him.

Gwil thrusts a few more times before he comes inside Ben. Gwil rests his head on the pillow beside Ben’s head as he comes down. 

Ben slowly rubs his hands over Gwil’s back, “I love you, baby.”

Gwil smiles, turning his head to kiss Ben’s cheek, “I love you too, husband.” Gwil pushes himself up and kisses Ben’s lips, “how do you want me to clean you up? Mouth or shower?”

Ben squirms a little, “whichever you like.” He loves when Gwil uses his mouth on him.

Gwil smirks, “how about mouth then shower?” He knows which Ben prefers and loves doing it. He just wanted to make sure Ben wasn’t too tired or anything.

Ben smiles wide, “I’m good with that.”

Gwil pulls out of Ben and kisses down his body. Gwil slowly licks and sucks the sensitive skin until all the come is gone. He raises his eyes and sees Ben sitting up, watching him. Gwil presses a wet kiss to Ben’s inner thigh, “do you want to shower now?” Ben smiles and nods. Gwil kisses his hip, “go get the water started, I’ll change the sheets.”

Gwil watches as Ben walks to the bathroom, feeling very content to be back with his wonderful husband.

  
  



	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late August 2019
> 
> Rating applies to the end of the chaper

Gwil really wants to stretch but he can’t. Charity slightly flexes her fingers on his bare chest. He always likes it when Ben rubs over his chest, or even when he plays with his chest hair. This feels uncomfortable to him though. It makes him feel itchy. 

He knows he’s acting. Thankfully, Ben is also an actor so he fully understands filming intimate scenes. Somehow now that they’re married, laying next to anyone that’s not Ben feels extra fake. 

This is the first scene they’ve filmed together. They also aren’t supposed to be moving while they fix some lighting. Just laying still with someone he’s just met, it just makes it all the more awkward to Gwil. Years of professional acting helps a lot, but does not completely erase the feeling.

Charity, his onscreen wife must feel somewhat the same way. “So…” She starts before a lengthy pause, “my housemates and I watched Bohemian Rhapsody last night.”

Gwil chuckles lightly, “yeah? How was that? You can be honest if you didn’t enjoy it.”

“I think if I didn’t like it I just wouldn’t bring it up. It was fun. My housemates all have crushes on Roger Taylor now. Or at least the actor that played him.”

Gwil smiles and can’t help laughing, “yeah. Me too. That’s my husband.”

“Oh,” she laughs awkwardly, “I bet you do like him then.”

Gwil hums, “just a tiny bit.” 

Charity smiles, “just with every ounce of your being?”

“My left pinky toe is rather indifferent towards him, but we’ve only been married 8 months. There’s still room for growth.” Gwil shakes his head, “actually I can’t joke about that. I love him completely.”

“That’s very sweet.” Charity drums her fingers on Gwil’s chest and looks up, “this lighting situation doesn’t seem to be going well.”

“No it doesn’t.” Gwil flexes his toes, getting tired of lying in the same position. He’s about to ask Charity a question when the director sighs loudly.

“Alright, Gwilym and Charity, break for a while we get this worked out.”

Gwil immediately raises his arms over his head and stretches, “I think I’ll go call Ben then.” 

On the walk to Gwil’s trailer he runs into his co-star Nick. Gwil waves as he keeps walking. 

Nick jogs up to him, “hey Gwil! How’s it going?”

“Hi, things are good. About to go call Ben. How are you?” Gwil stops in front of the door to his trailer.

Nick half smiles, “I haven’t talked to Ben in forever. You mind if I say hi?”

Gwil really wants to say no, that he’ll just pass the message along. Ben and he have done a lot better at communicating while filming over the summer. It probably helps that Ben is at home right now. This week it’s been hard for Gwil to get away to his trailer to call Ben though. Politeness wins and Gwil opens the door for Nick, “sure. Come on in.” 

Gwil grabs his phone and sits down at the little table. He pulls up Facetime and positions it so Ben can see both him and Nick sitting on the opposite side of the table. 

Ben answers. “Hey, baby!” Gwil immediately smiles when he sees that Ben isn’t wearing a shirt. Ben sees Nick, “oh! Hi! Hold on.” Ben puts down the phone, showing Gwil and Nick a nice shot of the ceiling. Ben comes back into view, now wearing Gwil’s jumper that he stole long ago. “Hello. How are you both?”

Ben and Nick catch up a bit. They filmed together a few years ago and haven’t talked much since then. Gwil starts to chime in as Ben talks about how things have been more recently. Nick must have been bored because he keeps talking and talking. Gwil normally wouldn’t mind, but he really just wants to talk to Ben alone. He’s going to be getting back late tonight. Ben has to leave to film soon. He won’t get much time with him before he leaves. 

There’s a knock on Gwil’s door. He has to go back to set. He gives Ben a sad smile, “I’ll talk to you later if possible. If not, I’ll see you when I get home.”

“I’m about to cook. I’ll guess I’ll try and leave you some.” Ben grins when Gwil fakes looking offended, “love you.”

Gwil smiles, “love you too, husband.”

Ben smiles wide and gives a small wave, “bye.”

+++++++

Gwil opens the door to their flat as quietly as he can. There is a light on in the kitchen, but all the others seem to be off. The door to their room is cracked open. Given the late hour, Gwil knows Ben is probably asleep. He’s been getting up early to work out with a trainer. Gwil has been teasing him, calling him the old man, since he’s usually asleep or almost asleep when Gwil gets home.

Since he was there so late, Gwil ended up eating on set. He opens the fridge to see what Ben made. He sees some chicken and roasted potatoes in containers. He opens the one with the potatoes, popping one into his mouth. It’s so good. Gwil can only imagine how much better it was warm. 

Gwil turns off the kitchen light and walks into their room. There is light slipping in from the door inside their room that connects to the bathroom. He hadn’t realized Ben left that on for him as well. He smiles as he approaches the bed. Ben is curled up in a little ball in the center of the bed, gripping the bed covers tightly. He presses a kiss to his forehead before going to shower and brush his teeth. He pulls on some fresh boxers and goes back to the bedroom. 

Ben has moved to his side of the bed. The covers are pulled back on Gwil’s side. Gwil slides in, rolling onto his side to face Ben. 

He smiles and whispers, “Ben.” He wants to reach out and caress his cheek. He thinks Ben’s fallen back asleep though. Gwil could really go for a good night kiss. He tries whispering again, “lovely husband?”

Ben groans and stretches, “your husband is asleep.”

“Of course. So sorry.” Gwil pulls the bedcovers over his shoulder, “nos da, Ben.” Gwil closes his eyes. 

Ben moves closer to Gwil, gently pressing a kiss to his lips.

Gwil hums appreciatively and cups Ben’s cheek, holding him there to kiss him again. Gwil opens his eyes, “I missed you today.” He kisses Ben again.

Ben smiles, “I missed you too.” Ben pushes Gwil’s shoulder so he is laying on his back. Ben snuggles against his side, “even if I saw you this morning.” He kisses Gwil one more time before laying his head on his chest, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.” Gwil kisses the top of Ben’s head, wraps his arms around him, and closes his eyes.

++++++++

Ben carefully slides out of bed. He’s been awake for a while. He doesn’t want to get restless trying to fall asleep and wake up Gwil. He grabs a hoodie before he goes out in the living room. He grabs his laptop from the coffee table and the blanket draped over the back of the sofa. He opens his script for his next movie. He leaves the next morning to start filming. 

Ben can’t stop worrying about the plot. He originally thought it sounded really interesting and unlike anything he’d done so far. He told Andy about it when they had dinner last week. Andy told him he might not watch this one because he didn’t want to know what Ben’s sex face looked like. Ben hadn’t really thought about his sex face being on the internet forever. He asked Gwil for his thoughts. Gwil just looked at him for a moment before huffing a laugh and saying he hadn’t really thought about it like that. Gwil reassured him he would support him if he wanted to back out of the film and also if he went through with it. All that mattered to Gwil was Ben being comfortable. 

Ben reads the script again. He still really likes it. Andy never said it sounded like a bad movie. Ben barely gets on the internet to see people’s reactions anyways. He won’t know if his sex face becomes a gif. Unless Joe sends it to him like he promised to do. 

Ben looks towards their bedroom. He sort of thinks he’s more worried about leaving Gwil. They’ve had a pretty perfect summer together. They’ve gone on small holidays, just over weekends when Gwil’s filming schedule allowed it. They were able to go do things around London together. It’s basically been the best summer of his life. It only slightly wins over the previous one because he and Gwil aren’t only together, but married now.

They’ve also started planning the wedding ceremony, or vow renewal as Gwil and he keep calling it, for next summer. Ben’s mum’s initial hesitation is completely gone. She calls him a few times a week with new ideas. If Gwil is home, Ben will usually put her on speaker as he cuddles up with Gwil. 

A few weeks ago, she figured out how to invite more than one person to facetime on the same call. A lot of the calls now include Gwil’s mam. Ben isn’t entirely sure what he agreed to on the last call. Gwil was on set and in period clothing. Ben got distracted by how good he looked. He wasn’t really paying attention to the mothers. He’ll have to ask Gwil about that later. 

Ben looks at the clock in the corner of his screen. Gwil will be waking up for work in just over an hour. Ben probably needs to get up at the same time to finish packing. He groans, rubbing his face. He puts his laptop back on the coffee table. He just tosses the blanket on the sofa, telling himself he’ll fold it nicely when he wakes up again. He shuffles back into their bedroom. As soon as he’s back in bed, Gwil reaches out and pulls Ben against his chest. Ben doesn’t think Gwil is even awake. His breathing doesn’t sound like it. Ben smiles and closes his eyes, quickly falling asleep with Gwil snuggled against his back.

++++++++

Ben’s chin slips off the hand holding it up as he sits at the kitchen counter waiting for water to boil. Most of the afternoon he has been fighting the urge to take a nap. He only got a few hours of sleep since he was awake worrying unnecessarily. He finished packing the items he had in the laundry this morning. He also did Gwil’s clothes since he probably won’t have time to himself. He went out to get fresh cheese for the dinner he’s making for Gwil. 

If Ben looked at the calendar right, not only is it their 8 month wedding anniversary, it’s been 2 years since they first slept together. Gwil had shown him a recipe a few weeks ago for some pasta he thought looked good. Ben wasn’t sure if it was the same recipe but it was the best reviewed version of the same dish he could find. He also spent a very exasperating half hour talking with Joe about how to make your own pasta. He knows he could use premade. They even have a package in the cabinet. He just thinks Gwil deserves the effort. Plus he knows it will taste better. 

Gwil makes it in the door about 5 minutes later than he told Ben he expected to be there. He opens the door and calls out for Ben, “husband! Where are you?”

He closes the door behind him, setting down the small bag he has by the door, and turns to see Ben at the table, grating cheese onto the plate in front of the chair Gwil usually sits at. 

Gwil smiles wide, “what’s all this?” He walks over next to the table.

Ben shrugs, “I made supper.” Ben pulls out the chair, “I wanted something a little bit special. We’ve been married 8 months.” Ben smirks, “sleeping together for 2 years.”

Gwil grins as he tilts Ben’s head up and kisses him, “both great things to celebrate.” Gwil kisses him again, “I should have made you dinner though. It’s your last night here.”

Ben grabs the front of Gwil’s shirt, pulling him back in for another kiss, “I had the time. Plus you’ve been working so hard. You deserve it.”

Gwil wraps one of his arms around Ben’s waist and puts the other hand on the back of Ben’s head. He kisses him deeply. 

Ben pulls back after a bit, “as nice as this is, food is gonna get cold.”

Gwil sighs dramatically, “fine.” He gives Ben a quick peck, “I brought desert.”

“Oh yeah?” Ben sits down at caddy corner to Gwil. He picks up the bottle of wine and pours some into Gwil’s glass.

Gwil nods, “I got those lemon tarts from that bakery...”

Ben’s eyes get wide, “the one we went to with our mums after going to every florist in London?”

Gwil chuckles, “yes. That one.” Gwil puts his hand on top of Ben’s that’s resting on the table, “hopefully they are just as good when you aren’t hangry.”

Ben scoffs, “I wasn’t hangry.”

Gwil rubs his thumbs over Ben’s knuckles, “no, of course.” Gwil bites his lip so he doesn’t smile.

Ben stops mid pour of his own glass, “okay, fine. I was a little bit hangry.”

Gwil grins, “happy anniversary. Anniversaries.” Gwil leans in to kiss Ben, “I love you.”

Ben smiles as he pulls back, “I love you, too.”

Gwil swirls some of the pasta onto his fork. He takes his first bite. He moans and covers his mouth as he chews, “fuck this is good.”

Ben smiles, “I’m glad you like it.” Ben takes his own bite. “Alright, yeah. This is good.”

Gwil takes a sip of his wine, watching Ben enjoy his food. Every so often it still overwhelms Gwil how lucky is he that Ben married him. He smiles, “this is perfect.” 

Ben looks over at Gwil and starts to say something but stops.

Gwil furrows his brow, “what?”

Ben shakes his head, “it was cheesy.”

Gwil grins, “we’re celebrating our 8 month anniverary. I think we’re good with cheesy.”

Ben laughs, “fair.” He licks his lips, “you’re pretty perfect.”

Gwil smiles, “we’re a good match then.”

Ben bites his lip, “we are.”

They finish eating their meal. When he gets the desert out of his bag, Gwil shows Ben the Coke Zero he also got for him, knowing he’ll need the caffeine before his flight in the morning. The tarts end up being just as good even when they don’t plan their next wedding beforehand.

Gwil is barely done loading the dishwasher when Ben takes his hand and starts walking backwards to their bedroom.

Ben smirks, “care to join me in bed?”

“Oh, I’ll never say no to that.” Gwil reaches out for Ben’s hips, “are we recreating our first time?”

“Are you going to talk about watching porn again?” Ben smirks.

Gwil laughs and shakes his head, “you have benefited from that. I could have been completely clueless.”

Ben slides his hands under Gwil’s shirt, “you did catch on very quickly.” He pushes Gwil’s shirt up and kisses his chest.

Gwil pulls his shirt off the rest of the way before pulling at Ben’s. “I had a great teacher.”

Ben hooks his hand behind Gwil’s neck, pulling him in for another kiss. He talks against Gwil’s lips, “what’s your favorite thing you’ve learned?”

Gwil squeezes Ben’s hips, “let me show you. Could you lay down please?” Gwil opens the drawer next to the bed while Ben takes his trousers off and situates himself in the middle of the bed. Gwil pushes some things to the side searching for the lube.

Ben twiddles his thumbs and smirks over at Gwil, “what’s going on over there?”

Gwil leans over to get a closer look of what’s in the drawer. He grumbles, “where is the lube?”

Ben rolls over and looks in the drawer too, “is it in the shower still?”

Gwil wiggles his eyebrows at Ben, “be right back.” He gives Ben a quick kiss and goes to the bathroom.

Ben rests his head on the pillow for a second. He thinks if he wasn’t so turned on right now, he could instantly fall asleep. He pushes himself back onto his back right as Gwil walks back in. 

Gwil stands at the foot of the bed. He tosses lube next to Ben before undoing his jeans. He keeps eye contact with Ben as he pushes them down along with his boxers. He chuckles when Ben licks his lips. He takes one of Ben’s ankles in each hand, rubbing them for a beat before running his hands up Ben’s legs, spreading them as he moves higher. He presses his thumbs harder against Ben’s inner thighs as he crawls onto the bed. 

Gwil leans down and kisses the top of Ben’s thigh, up his leg to his hip. Gwil makes sure not to touch Ben’s cock as he kisses across his lower stomach to his other hip. Gwil reaches for the lube, pops open the lid and starts to pour some onto his fingers. He looks up at Ben and smirks. He points to the corner of his mouth, “you’ve got..” He starts to laugh, “just a bit of drool.”

Ben playfull rolls his eyes, “I’m just ready to feel you.” Ben spreads his legs more. He smiles when a deep moan comes from Gwil. 

Gwil rubs some of the lube over Ben’s hole. He lightly circles the rim as he slowly licks a broad stripe up Ben’s shaft. He slides his finger in just as he reaches the tip of Ben’s cock. 

Gwil wraps his free hand around the base of Ben’s cock. He almost immediately takes all of Ben into his mouth. Ben clenches around Gwil’s finger as he thrust into his mouth.

“Shit, sorry baby.” Ben’s head falls back onto the pillow as Gwil pulls back slowly. 

Gwil moans around Ben. He curls his finger against Ben. Ben tries to avoiding fucking Gwil’s mouth when Gwil starts to pick up the pace and slides in another finger. 

Gwil takes his mouth off Ben’s cock, but continues to stroke him, “you feel so good in my mouth.” He swirls his tongue around the tip, “maybe I’ll get you off this way.”

Ben moans loudly as Gwil curls his fingers just right, “please...fuck me...I need you.” 

Gwil smiles, “since you asked so nicely.” Gwil curls his fingers again, harder this time, “not yet though.” 

Ben moans softly as Gwil starts to press kisses to his cock. He feels Gwil’s fingers slide out of him. He whimpers and lifts his head to see what’s happening down there. He sees Gwil putting more lube on three of his fingers. 

Gwil watches Ben’s eyelids flutter as he pushes three fingers in. He kisses Ben’s hip, “good boy. Getting ready for me. Can’t wait to feel you.” Gwil takes Ben’s dick back into his mouth.

Ben starts rolling his hips against Gwil’s hand. He thinks he could come from this if Gwil keeps it up. He’s starting to feel his orgasm build when Gwil slips his fingers out. Ben immediately moves one of his legs to Gwil’s hips.

Gwil laughs lightly, “so impatient tonight. I love it.” He leans down to kiss Ben and lifts his other leg over his hip. 

Gwil reaches around Ben’s leg to line himself up. They both moan appreciatively as Gwil slides in.

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders. Gwil starts kissing along Ben’s collarbone as he lets Ben adjust to him.

After a moment Ben moves his hips up slightly, letting Gwil know he’s ready. Gwil slowly pulls his hips back before pushing back in completely, flicking his hips against Ben’s. Gwil starts kissing up the side of Ben’s neck. 

Ben lets his head loll to the side to give Gwil better access. Gwil is letting out small grunts right by Ben’s each with thrust. Every so often, there is a soft “Ben” or “fuck” or some sort of praise. 

Ben digs his fingers into Gwil’s back. He starts to get lost in the pleasure of Gwil’s cock hitting him just right. He moans as Gwil increases his pace, “mmm, Gwil...you feel so good.”

Ben moves one hand to the back of Gwil’s head, curling his fingers into his hair. He gently pulls the hair to guide Gwil into a kiss.

Gwil pulls back from the kiss, resting his forehead against Ben’s, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Ben smiles and lowers his voice, “husband.”

Gwil practically growls in response. 

Ben gasps as Gwil wraps his hand around Ben’s cock, “Gwil...I’m gonna…”

“Come for me...you feel so good...clenching around me” Gwil strokes Ben faster. 

With a loud cry of “Gwil,” Ben comes onto his stomach and Gwil’s hand. 

Gwil moves his hands to Ben’s hips, pounding into him quickly. 

Ben whimpers, “come on me, Gwil…please.”

Gwil smiles and quickly pulls out. He straddles Ben’s hips and starts to grip himself. Ben slaps his hand away, replacing it with his own. It only takes a few strokes before Gwil’s coming on Ben’s stomach. 

Gwil falls onto the mattress next to Ben. He sighs loudly, “damn.”

Ben chuckles, “I concur.” He yawns and stretches.

Gwil laughs, “let me a cloth.” Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek and slides off the edge of the bed. He quickly pees and washes his hands. He gets a cloth out of the cabinet, wetting it down with warm water. 

He chuckles when he goes back out to the bedroom. Ben has his eyes shut and his mouth open slightly. Gwil walks closer and realizes Ben is actually asleep. He frowns. It’s a little out of character for Ben to fall asleep instantly. He is usually chatty for at least a few minutes afterwards. Gwil gently wipes off their come off Ben’s stomach and chest, then pulls the covers over him. He tries to remember if Ben said anything about being tired during dinner. He shakes his head, trying to clear the doubts from his head.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place Late October 2019

“Stop wiggling your leg, please.” 

Ben stills his leg as his hair stylist, Molly, pulls her hands back from his head. She places her hands on his shoulders, applying pressure to get him to stop moving. He mumbles “sorry” and crosses his foot behind his other ankle. He feels like a mess today. He’s nervous about filming a sex scene. Part of him knows it will be okay, that’s it’s really not a big deal. The other part of him just keeps thinking about how it’s been a long time since he’s done this type of scene and he feels out of practice. After two months away from Gwil, he feels out of practice at fake and real sex.

He flips over his phone and types in his passcode. It’s still a little early in the day in London. Gwil is most likely still at work. He decides not to try calling even though talking to Gwil would help his nerves. Ben tosses his phone on the vanity amongst the makeup and hair products. 

On top of being nervous, Ben is also excited, and slightly impatient, for the day to be over. He has the next four days off. He found flights that would work for him to be able to fly home, spend about fifty hours with Gwil, and be back to sleep before he’s expected back on set. Gwil will also be off work the afternoon Ben gets there and the next day. Gwil was highly considering flying to Montreal to see Ben for about twelve hours. Ben felt guilty about it but he lied and said he’d be filming those twelve hours. Gwil sounded so disheartened. He almost confessed but he can’t wait to see the look on Gwil’s face when he just shows up unannounced. Ben smiles wide thinking about it. He also knows they need to see each other. They haven’t done as well communicating while being apart this time. Ben was filming at night for a bit while Gwil was working during the day. That definitely doesn’t help the situation. Nor does the time difference. There have been lots of missed calls on both ends. He knows as soon as they see each other, everything will be better again.

Ben suddenly shivers involuntarily. Molly just scraped her nails through the short hair on the nap of his neck. He’s not really sure what she’s doing. It almost feels like she’s trying to play with his hair. He looks up at her in the mirror but she is just staring at the back of his head. 

Just a moment later, she looks up and makes eye contact with him in the mirror. Molly smiles, “you’re all set.”

Ben nods in acknowledgement. He tightens his robe around himself and stands up to leave the trailer.

Ben is practically giddy when the director tells him they are going to do one more take for safety. 

Michael, the director laughs, “you could try hiding your excitement to be done for the day.”

Ben smiles, “I’ve got plans for my days off.”

Michael taps his chin, “I might need you tomorrow though.”

Ben’s face falls, sadness fills his voice. “you do?” 

Michael laughs, “I’m just messing with you. Let’s do this so you can go see your lover.”

Ben rolls his eyes but smiles as he stands on his mark to start the scene again.

As soon as Ben hears “cut”, he jogs over to his chair. He picks up his bag and looks for his phone. It’s not in the little pocket hanging off the arm. He takes his bag off his shoulder to look inside the pockets. He sighs deeply. It’s not in there. He doesn’t want to go back to his hotel. He packed just one change of clothes in his bag so he didn’t have to. He looks up and sees Molly standing behind his chair. 

She smirks and pulls his phone from one of the pockets of her smock, “looking for this?”

Ben sighs in relief, “THANK YOU!” He starts to smile but something about the way she’s looking at him stops him. It’s almost malicious. She is smiling but he doesn’t trust it. He gives her a quick nod, “see ya next week.”

++++++++

Ben bounces on his toes as he waits for the lift. He thought about taking the stairs but he knew he’d end up running up them. He didn’t want to be sweaty and out of breath for his reunion with Gwil. He shifts the straps of his bag. He can hear the bag of crisps from the airport rustling inside. As soon as he saw them in the giftshop, he remembered how Gwil had mentioned loving the flavor once. He smiles to himself as the door opens for the lift.

Ben unlocks their flat, opening the door as quietly as he can. He looks through the cracked open door to see if Gwil is in the dining area or kitchen. He doesn’t hear anything so he opens the door more. It’s still very quiet. Gwil must not be home. His phone died on the plane and he forgot to bring his charger with him. He couldn’t call to see where Gwil was at.

He sees a handbag sitting on the table. Gwil has been teasing that he’s going to purchase one for Ben. Ben has a habit of stuffing a lot into his trouser pockets, much to the dismay of his stylist when he does it at events. He thinks for a moment that Gwil actually bought one before he turns around to set his bag down and sees a black and white jacket hanging next to Gwil’s. It’s obviously a woman’s. 

He quickly looks over his shoulder. The bedroom door is shut. Gwil rarely shuts it. He only does if he’s in there. Ben suddenly feels cold. He puts down his bag, keeps his shoes on, and approaches the door, still trying not to make noise. 

He puts his ear towards the door as he turns the knob slowly. The door’s lock. He leans against the door and holds his breath. What he hears...he can’t really believe.

There’s a wet sounding noise Ben can’t place. A woman sighs loudly, “that’s so much better.”

“Mmmm,” Gwil’s voice hums, “I bet it does. Good girl.”

Gwil’s voice saying good girl doesn’t sound the same as when he calls Ben “good boy”, but Ben’s eyes fill with tears anyways.

Ben steps back from the door, horrified. He covers his mouth with his hands so he doesn’t sob. He’s frozen in place for a few moments. Maybe he’s asleep on the plane. Maybe this is just a nightmare. There’s no waking world that Ben could have imagined this happening.

A neighbor starts talking loudly in the hallway and breaks Ben out of his thoughts. He quickly turns around, grabs his bag, and leaves the flat.

++++++++

Ben’s arse is starting to hurt. He practically sprinted to the nearest tube station. He didn’t know where to go though. He’s just been sitting on a bench, sobbing, for who knows how long. He thought about going back to Montreal. Changing his flight would probably cost just as much as the flight did to begin with. He also figures he’d end up seeing his co-stars when he went back to the hotel and didn’t want to explain why he was back early. 

He doesn’t really want to explain to any of his mates why he needs a place to stay. He doesn’t really want to talk to anyone or see anyone. He knows he needs to move before anyone recognizes him. All he needs is a picture of him crying to get out to the public.

He grips his backpack straps tightly and stands. He knows of a hotel nearby with room service. He decides to lock himself in a room, hide under the covers, wondering how his life fell apart so quickly. How could Gwil cheat on him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts??
> 
> The next chapter will take place at the same time from Gwil’s perspective


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place at the same time as the last chapter, but from Gwil's POV.

Gwil rewraps the towel around his waist and sits down on the sofa. He picks his phone up off the coffee table to look at the time. Going for a run and showering didn’t kill as much time as he thought it would. He thinks it’s still too early to call Ben. He really should have gone to Montréal despite Ben telling him he’d be busy. Even if Ben was working, Gwil would have been happy. He could have watched him work if the director was fine with it. Maybe Ben knew that wouldn’t be okay and that’s why he told Gwil not to come. Gwil thinks it would have been worth it even if he flew all the way there for just a hug. Maybe get a kiss. Ben could just tell him about his day face to face and Gwil would be thrilled.

Gwil is about to put his phone down and get dressed when it rings. The name on the screen is one of the last people he would have guessed would be calling him. It’s his ex-girlfriend, Ava. He hasn’t heard from her in almost two years. He’s not sure if she knows he’s married now. This could be a very awkward conversation. He runs his fingers through his hair, takes a deep breath, and answers, “Hello.”

“Err..hi Gwilym.”

Gwil almost laughs at the use of his full name. He thinks she sounds as uncomfortable as he feels. He crosses his arms across his chest.

“How are you, Ava? It’s been a while.”

There’s a pause, “I’m...I’ve… I’m good. I am going to assume you aren’t working today. Are you free to talk? In person?”

Gwil screws up his face. He doesn’t know. They were more like friends towards the end of their relationship. He has occasionally missed talking to her. He wouldn’t mind being friends with her. He doesn’t think Ben would mind. It’s not like there’d be anything to worry about. He still wonders if he should ask Ben first, just to be polite. He’s just about to answer but she speaks again first.

“Listen, I know it’s odd. I know you’re married. It’s nothing about that. But it’s important.”

“Yeah, sure.” Gwil clears his throat. “Do you have a place in mind?”

Ava’s voice is slightly more calm, “how about your place or mine? I’m out for an appointment. I could come there.”

Gwil nods, but then realizes she can’t see him, “that would work for me.” He gives her the address. After they hang up, Gwil calls Ben to let me know he’ll be seeing Ava. It goes directly to voicemail. Gwil frowns and stands up to get dressed.

  
  
  


Gwil stands at the door, waiting for Ava to knock. He buzzed her up a minute ago. There’s a light rapping. He wipes his hands on his jeans and opens the door, standing out of the way so she can come in.

“Good afternoon.” Gwil grimaces at the forced cheerfulness in his voice. 

Ava turns around to face him, “hi.” She starts to lift her arms like she’s going to hug him.

Gwil starts to do the same but then just gestures towards the living room, “please have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

Ava hesitates for a second, “would it be too much to ask for some tea? Do you have something without much caffeine?” 

Gwil opens his mouth to comment it’s not like her to not want caffeine. He stops himself and just says, “of course not. Just a moment.” Gwil goes to put the kettle on. He watches Ava out of the corner of his eye. She takes off her jacket, placing it on the rack next to his own. She sets her purse on the table and slowly walks towards the living room. She stops to lean down and look at a picture on the bookcase. It’s a framed one of Ben and himself where he’s kissing Ben’s cheek. It’s one of Gwil’s favorites. Gwil is surprised when she turns around and smiles at him after looking at it.

Ava softly says, “oh” before going back to her bag and getting out what looks like paperwork. 

Gwil has no idea what it could be that she would need it for their conversation. He starts getting more curious what she could need to speak to him about in person that involves paperwork. He finishes the tea, grabs some biscuits, and joins her in the living room. He sets the tea and biscuits down on the coffee table before sitting on one end of the sofa. He pulls one leg up on the sofa, turning to face Ava when she sits at the opposite end. Gwil reaches out for his tea but Ava hands him the stack of papers. Gwil takes them instead of his tea.

Ava pushes herself up on the sofa, “I...I really don’t know how to say this...so just...I thought I would show you.”

Gwil’s eyes narrow and he looks down at the papers. He recognizes the name of a clinic he had gone to Ava with about a year before they first took a break from their relationship. Gwil’s more confused that he was before. He looks up at Ava. He can’t place the look on her face that he used to know so well.

She takes a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, congrats. That’s wonderful.” Gwil is suprised. He knows from when they were together that she would have had to have medical assistance in getting pregnant. They were in the very early stages of freezing some embryos together before they split up. He spent an awkward afternoon in a doctor's office exam room with a cup. He had hesitations towards the whole endeavor when he thought about men instead of Ava to fill the cup. He wonders who she is with now that’s contributing towards that. 

Ava half smiles, “thank you. I thought I should tell you in person.”

Gwil isn’t sure how to respond. He wonders if she’s mad he didn’t tell her he got married himself and this is how she’s expressing that. 

Ava closes her eyes, “it’s yours.”

Gwil’s jaw falls open. But then he thinks about it more. “There’s no way it could be mine. You said you were having them destroy my…sample.”

Ava points to the papers, “that was supposed to happen. Please read. I’m so sorry.”

Gwil can’t believe what he’s reading. There is a lot of medical terminology and sample numbers. It feels like his heart is about to break out of his chest, it's beating so fast. If he’s reading the paper correctly, Ava had obtained another sperm sample from a donor through a sperm bank but it was discarded instead of his by mistake. 

Gwil sets the papers down on his lap, blankly staring at them. He doesn’t know how to feel. Shock is the most overwhelming emotion at the moment.

Ava quietly speaks, “I’ve thought about hiring a solicitor about the error that was made. Gwil…” She waits for Gwil to look up at her, “I know this probably isn’t what you want but I don’t...it was so hard to get pregnant. I am keeping it.” Ava suddenly covers her mouth with her hand. Her voice is muffled as she speaks from behind it, “morning sickness. Bathroom?”

Gwil stands up and leads her to the bedroom to get to the bathroom. He pushes the bedroom door so she can quickly get to the bathroom door. He sits down next to her on the bathroom floor where she’s sitting in front of the loo. 

Ava throws up intermittently for about 10 minutes while Gwil holds her hair back. She gets sick one last time, then sighs and sits back, “that’s so much better.”

Gwil rubs her back, “I bet it does. Good girl.” Gwil reaches up to grab a towel from next to the sink. He gets on his knees to dampen it. There’s a loud noise that sounds like the door to their flat. He thinks it must be the neighbors. He hands Ava the towel and sits back down next to her. 

Ava looks at Gwil. He thinks she looks sad. She wipes her face with the towel. She sighs again, “I’m sorry this is happening.” 

“It isn’t your fault.” Gwil lets his head fall back against the wall. He closes his eyes for a moment. He looks at Ava, “I need to talk to Ben. You know I want kids. It’s not just me now though. I’d like to be in the kid's life. I just need to talk to Ben.”

Ava nods, “that makes sense. Just let me know.” She smiles slightly, “I should go.”

Gwil stands and extends a hand to help her up, “I’ll call after I speak with Ben.”

Gwil leads her to the door and immediately calls his agent to tell him he needs a day or two more off. He’ll let his agent tell the producers he had a family emergency. He needs to tell Ben in person. He starts putting clothes in a suitcase as he waits for his agent to answer. He decides he’ll just try and book a flight on his way to the airport. 

++++++++

The entire flight to Montréal, Gwil tried to remember every mention of kids around Ben. He could kick himself for not knowing where his husband stood on having kids. He vividly remembers Ben telling Joe to ask him in 6 years. Gwil tells himself that isn’t a no. That maybe Ben will be okay with it. Gwil doesn’t know what he would do if Ben isn’t okay with it. Gwil turns his music up in a vain attempt to drown out his worst thoughts. He should have asked for the papers to show Ben. He wouldn’t want Ben to think he cheated with Ava. 

Since it’s late in the day, Gwil goes to Ben’s hotel to look for him. Every time he’s called Ben, it’s just gone to voicemail. Gwil doesn’t really know what that’s about. He tries not to add it to the list of things he worried about right now. 

He joins the queue for the front desk. He tries to call Ben again. No answer. Again. The lady behind the desk gestures for him to come forward. 

“Hi,” Gwil rests his arms on the desk, “Could I please get Lee Jones’ room?” He’s pretty sure that’s the name Ben told him he checked in under. 

The lady types in her computer. She clicks around a few times then looks up at Gwil, “we don’t have anyone under that name.”

Gwil frown, “could you try Ben Lee-Jones, or just either Ben Jones or Ben Lee?”

She hesitates for a moment before checking again. Gwil pulls his passport out of his bag so he can show that he’s also a Lee-Jones in case she gets suspicious. Gwil watches as she looks between him and the screen. She looks at him again, “We don’t have anyone named Ben, Benjamin, or any combination of those names. Are you sure you have the correct hotel, sir?”

“Perhaps not. Thank you for your help.” Gwil taps the desk a few times and walks towards one of the plush couches in the lobby. He sits down to try and search for the studio address. He opens his Uber app to arrange a ride. He calls Ben again while he waits. No answer. He scratches his beard. Where is Ben? Did he lose his phone? Why isn’t he still at the hotel?

When Gwil gets dropped off at the studio, the guard at the gate is on the phone facing away from him. Gwil decides to just sneak past. He finds the correct set quickly. He sees the hair and makeup trailer right outside the set. He thinks that’s a good place to start since they usually see all the actors every day. 

There are only two people in there. A man cleaning some makeup brushes and a woman combing a wig. She’s closer so Gwil approaches her. 

He coughs to get her attention. Once she looks at him Gwil smiles, “hi. I’m looking for Ben Jo...Hardy.”

The woman looks Gwil up and down. Gwil shifts on his feet, uncomfortable. She glances over her shoulder at the other man then back to Gwil, “Ben went to see his lover.”

Gwil crosses his arms, “you mean husband?”

She shrugs, “I don’t know that I’ve ever heard him say husband. I didn’t actually know he was gay.” She slightly turns, “hey Perry?”

The man with the makeup brushes looks over at them, “hey Molly?”

Molly smirks, “where’s Ben?”

“I heard he went on a sex vacation.” Perry laughs.

Molly turns back to Gwil smiling, “he’s getting laid. Not on set.”

“Oh. Thank you both.” Gwil turns to leave the trailer. He needs to get away from people. He leaves the trailer and walks around behind it. He stands in the small gap between the trailer and the building. As soon as he knows he’s more or less out of sight, he starts crying. He bites down on his fist so people don’t hear him sobbing. Is Ben getting laid on set or did Molly just say that oddly. But it does seem like Ben is getting laid somewhere. Why is it by someone other than Gwil? Why didn’t she know Ben was married? He knows Ben is a private guy but that seems like a major detail to keep to himself. Gwil assumes this is why Ben didn’t want him to come visit. It would have interrupted his tryst. 

Gwil decides to go back to the airport. He still can’t get a hold of Ben. He tries calling Joe.

Joe answers after a few rings, “hey buddy!” Joe makes an odd shrieking noise.

Gwil can’t help laughing, “hi. How are you?”

Joe doesn’t answer for a beat, “good. Yes. Very good. How are you?”

Gwil thinks Joe’s voice sounds weird, “I’m alright. Have you heard from Ben today?” Joe doesn’t respond. “Joe?”

“Oh, right. Sorry. I haven’t heard from Ben. I...I gotta go Ben. I mean Gwil. If I hear from Ben, I’ll let you know.”

Gwil can’t help thinking that Joe is acting strange. Is he covering for Ben? Does he know where Ben is? Does he know Ben is cheating on him and just doesn’t want to say? He really wants to ask if Ben still loves him. If that’s the case, and Ben just got horny...well, Gwil thinks he can forgive that. He hates it but loves Ben more. He’ll also need a lot of understanding from Ben about the kid thing. 

Joe interrupts Gwil’s thoughts, “I gotta go, man. I’ll talk to you later.” 

Gwil is about to say goodbye but the phone call is already over. 

Joe sets down his phone and lets his head fall back. Rami pulls his mouth off Joe’s cock, “what’s going on? Is Gwil okay?”

Joe huffs a laugh, “not sure. He asked about Ben. It was hard to concentrate. I was paying more attention to your mouth.”

Rami smirks, “I’m okay with that. Do we need to help them?”  
Joe shakes his head, “Gwil sounded desperate. It’s late in London. He probably just needs phone sex.”

Rami laughs and kisses Joe’s hip, “should we try and help find Ben?”

Joe curls his fingers into Rami’s hair, “I really don’t think they need our help right this minute. Maybe in an hour.”

Rami chuckles, “what should we do for the next hour then?”

Joe looks around Rami’s living room, “really???” Rami laughs at Joe’s exasperated tone. “Are you serious?”

Rami bites his lip, “just teasing, love.”

Joe moans as Rami takes him back into his mouth.

++++++++

Gwil has been trying to get a hold of Ben for close to two weeks now. The phone has been ringing once before voicemail picks up. He hasn’t even been able leave a voicemail because the mailbox is always full. 

He felt like a crazy person at the airport in Montréal. He was waiting for the next flight home to London calling every hotel that Ben could be at. He and Ben had never combined bank accounts. It didn’t seem necessary. He did have the passing thought it would be nice to be able to login and see where Ben was spending money. Maybe he could find him then. 

Gwil is currently laying facedown on their bed, trying to call Ben repeatedly. Each time he calls, he feels closer to the verge of crying. He didn’t think he could cry much more. He keeps expecting his tear ducts to eventually give up from overuse. 

He considers going to bed even though the sun is still out. In theory, he’d be nice and rested for work in the morning if he did. He hasn’t had much luck sleeping since he’s been back. He frequently wakes in the middle of the night, fretting about his problems. He is wondering who he else could call. He tried calling Joe again just to see if Joe brought Ben up on his own. Joe never did. Gwil thinks calling was a mistake. It just added to his speculation that Ben really did or is cheating on him. 

Gwil rolls over onto his back. He picks up his phone to call Ava. He feels a little bad he still hasn’t given her an answer. What to do about his surprise kid gives him mind small breaks from obsession about what went wrong in his marriage. He still doesn’t know why Ben would cheat on him or why he would just stop talking to him all together. He thinks he may have finally decided about one of his problems. 

Ava answers right away, “Hello Gwil. How are you?”

A trace of a smile crosses Gwil’s face at her cheerful tone, “I’m about the same.” Gwil called a day after he got back from Montréal. He didn’t give her the details, just that he didn’t see Ben. He wasn’t ready to say Ben was busy cheating on him outloud. He still isn’t.

“Oh. I’m sorry about that. Maybe going back to work tomorrow will help. It will be a distraction if nothing else.” 

Gwil sighs then immediately starts crying. He should hang up and call back later. He wipes tears from his eyes, “I think...I think Ben’s done with me. I think my marriage is over.”

“Gwil. You don’t know that.” Ava just waits for Gwil to stop crying or talk more.

Gwil takes a deep breath, “I’m in for co-parenting. All the appointments. Classes. I’ll be there.”

There was a long silence. Ava quietly asks “do you really think your marriage is over?” A broken sob is all she hears in response. “I still have a guest room. It’s not a nursery yet.”

Gwil’s jaw quivers as fresh tears form, “I can’t pack up my life.”

“Oh Gwil.” Ava waits a moment to see if he says no. Gwil doesn’t say anything. She hesitantly asks, “Do you want help packing? Or do you want me to do it for you?”

Gwil covers his eyes with his hand, “can you come now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really nervous about this. 
> 
> Who hates Molly now????


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place late November 2019

Ben takes a deep breath. He thinks maybe he should have taken Andy up on his offer to pick him up at the airport and then come back to Ben’s flat with him. Ben’s not sure if he can emotionally handle any of the possibilities of what he could be walking into. If Gwil is in there cheating on him again, he doesn’t want Andy there. It will be easier for Ben to pretend it didn’t happen if no one knows.

The last time he was in London, he went to his flat twice. The time with the horrible words burned into his memory. He still has a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that Gwil cheated on him, in their flat, with words he usually says to Ben. Well, almost the same words. Ben isn’t sure if it’s better or worse that Gwil was with a woman. With the amount of time that Ben has spent dwelling on all of it, he probably should have been able to decide by now. 

Ben somehow managed to get himself to go back later that night. He wanted to confront Gwil. At the time. He told himself if they were still in the bedroom, he’d actually knock this time. Only when he got there the flat was empty and all the lights were off. There were two tea cups in the drying rack, mocking him. They instantly made Ben picture Gwil and his mistress sitting around, still naked, sipping tea and talking about how naive Ben was to their dalliance. 

Ben keeps his hand on the knob for a few moments before he twists it. He cracks the door just a bit to listen for any signs of life. He doesn’t hear anything. Ben is slightly relieved they aren’t still going at it a month later. They could also just be at her place. 

Ben opens the door the rest of the way. The apartment instantly looks wrong. Less colorful. He realizes the blanket knit by Gwil’s mam is no longer on the back of the sofa. He walks over to the sofa and notices the pictures that are missing. They are all ones that belong to Gwil. Ben’s bottom lip starts to quiver as he walks to the bedroom. 

It doesn’t look much different in here. The majority of the items belong to Ben though. He opens the wardrobe door and tears instantly fill his eyes. Gwil’s side is barren. Ben steps in, hugging his hanging jumpers as he cries.

He stands there as the tears streak down his cheeks. Ben isn’t sure how much time passes before he stops crying. He takes a deep breath and buries his face in the fabric. However that just makes him realize his jumpers smell like Gwil. Just for a moment, none of it’s true. Gwil’s here and they are happy. 

Ben lets go of the clothes and takes a step back into the emptiness. Everything is true again. Gwil is gone and he’s alone.

++++++++

Ben rubs at his eyes. He wants to get up and wash his face. Wash off the dried tears that are making it itch. He’s been sitting in the corner of the wardrobe longer than he would ever admit to anyone. He feels almost as pathetic as he did for spending two days under the covers in the hotel room when he first learned Gwil was cheating on him. 

Ben knows he needs to leave or at least move to some furniture. He wants to try calling Gwil again. If he gets no answer again, he just wants to stay shut up where he is. 

He’s been mustering up the courage to call Gwill each week. He’s been doing it on Sunday afternoons when he assumes Gwil will be free. That hasn’t worked out for him. Or more likely, Ben thinks, Gwil is ignoring his calls. It’s not like he’s trying to reach out to Ben. Gwil didn’t tell Ben he was unhappy or angry with Ben. And he sure as fuck didn’t tell him he was going to move out.

Ben takes a deep breath so he isn’t angry when he calls. That won’t help anything. He goes to the top of his favorite contacts and taps Gwil’s name. He bites on his lip, bracing himself for Gwil to answer.

He sighs when the voicemail finally picks up. He closes his eyes to wait for the beep, “Gwil...I...I’m at the flat…oh Gwil...please call me. I don’t...just call me…” Ben swallows hard, “I love you.” Ben can hear the desperation in his voice. “I’m in our flat and you aren’t here. Your stuff isn’t here...There’s lots of things I want to say...but call me. I...I love you Gwil. So fucking much.” Despite being alone in the dark wardrobe, Ben covers his eyes, “if you have any affection left for me...actually just call me regardless…” Ben whispers, “I love you.”

Ben hangs up. A strangle sob leaves his mouth. He slides down the wall till he’s curled up on his side. He cries some more while clutching his phone, hoping Gwil calls back.

  
  


Across London, Gwil sits listless on the floor of Ava’s shower. He’d gone on a run so he wasn’t sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. He doesn’t think it’s entirely fair to Ava to see him so depressed when he feels like he should be excited they are having a kid. That’s also why he’s crying in the shower. Or he was. They finally stopped. He takes a deep breath and stands up to finally turn on the water. 

Out in the living room, Gwil’s phone vibrates on his spot on the sofa. Ava turns to look at the screen. She picks it up and stares at the screen where it says “Ben Jones”. Her eyes flick up to the bathroom door. She knows Gwil is in there crying again. It seems to be all he does when he’s home. Well, that or wait for the phone to ring. 

The phone stops ringing. A moment later the voicemail alert pops up. 

Ava’s curiosity gets the best of her. She wants to know what this voicemail says. Gwil hasn’t changed his passcode since they were together. She hesitates then listens to the voicemail. The last two voicemails she listened to of Ben’s were just very tired sounding requests for Gwil to call him. This one is different. Ben now knows Gwil’s moved out. She wonders if Ben knows where she lives. Will he just show up? She hopes if he does, Gwil is out. She also wonders if he knows she’s pregnant. She asked Gwil not to tell anyone until she’s further along.

She rests her hand on her lower stomach. She was all set to have a kid alone. That was before she thought there was a chance she could still raise Gwil’s kid with him. She takes a deep breath and deletes the voicemail, followed by the call history. She feels slightly guiltier deleting this one than she did the others because of how Ben sounds. He clearly loves Gwil. Gwil came back from Canada and said Ben cheated on him. Based on this voicemail, she doubts that. She thinks she's in too deep now to change her mind. She rubs her stomach and carefully puts the phone back where it was.

++++++++

Ben wakes up in his wardrobe feeling stiff and exhausted. Regardless of how much sleep he gets recently he always feels tired. He stands up. The popping of his joints is amplified by the small space. He bends over to pick up his phone. No missed calls. He walks out to lay down on his bed. He unlocks his phone, trying to decide who to call. He is going to New York for press and to see Joe in a couple days. He considers going early. Joe’s enthusiasm for everything may help Ben ignore his deepening sadness for a few days. Until Joe asks about Gwil. Ben hasn’t told Joe or Rami anything is wrong. He doesn’t want to taint them towards Gwil or make them feel like they need to pick sides. He also doesn’t want to risk messing up those friendships for Gwil.

Ben decides to call Andy. Andy and Gwil get along, but he was Ben’s mate first. He knows Andy would take his side regardless of Ben telling him not to take a side. He had called Andy when he got back to Montreal to tell him everything that happened. As soon as Andy picked up the phone, Ben started crying. All he got out was that Gwil cheated on him. Andy stayed on the phone with him till Ben stopped crying. 

Andy picks up the phone on the first ring, “MATE!!!!!!!!!”

Ben can’t help chuckling, “hey.”

Andy’s tone immediately changes, “what’s wrong?”

Ben sniffles, “I came home. He’s gone. Moved out.”

There’s a beat, “what do you mean?”

Ben wills himself not to cry again till he’s done explaining, “the last time I was here...I heard a noise that I don’t know what it was, then a… a woman sighing. Pleasantly. And...I can’t.” Ben has to stop so he can coherently hold a conversation.

Andy makes a groaning noise, “sorry to ask this. Was it a sex noise? A vagina noise?”

Ben scoffs, “I don’t know what vaginas sound like.”

“Well,” Andy thinks, “I don’t know how to explain it. Go watch porn and”

Ben cuts him off, “your advice for me right now is to watch porn?”

“NOT FOR…” Andy takes a breath, “not for enjoyment.”

Despite his best efforts, Ben starts crying as his brain replays the horrible moment.

Andy wants to cry for his friend. He feels bad for his terrible advice. He never thought he’d have to worry about Ben getting cheated on, or really any issues with Ben and Gwil after they stopped pretending they weren’t in love with each other. Andy speaks quietly, “Ben?” The crying seems to stop or soften, “Get out of that flat. Go pack. Go to New York early. You pack. I’ll book your flight.”

Ben wipes tears off his face and sniffles, “thanks. I thought about that too.”

Andy cringes cause he needs a piece of information but really doesn’t want to ask right now, “I really hate to ask this right now. What’s your passport say?”

Ben whimpers, “Lee Jones.”

Andy wells up. He clears his throat, “I love you, Ben. Go pack. Want me to call Joe?”

Ben nods, “love you too. I’ll call him on the way. Thank you.”

  
  


++++++++

Ben sits on a bench outside the baggage claim of JFK airport. Joe got stuck in traffic on the way to pick him up. He said he was a few minutes away. Ben sees the man that was next to him on the plane come out. Ben quickly turns away from him. He would be willing to bet that man thinks Ben is losing his mind. That’s probably not far off.

Ben tried sleeping on the plane. He couldn’t get his brain to shut off. He kept running things over in his mind of what could have gone wrong. Ben knows he could have made more of an effort to call Gwil. Especially after the big deal he made about it in the spring. Ben would start crying about Gwil moving out. Then he’d be smiling about happy memories before crying again moments later. Ben wonders how many unreturned calls he should make before he gives up like it seems Gwil has. He needs to clear his mind so he’s not a disaster for press in a few days. He really hopes Joe will help with that. Maybe they won’t even talk about Gwil.

Ben feels someone nudge his foot. He turns to see Joe and immediately stands to give him a hug. It feels so good to hug someone again, Ben must get too enthusiastic about it. Joe laughs and pats his back.

“You’re crushing me.” Joe rubs Ben’s back and pulls back. His eyes narrow, “what’s up?”

Ben shakes his head, “nothing. Where’s your car?”

Joe looks at him skeptically and walks back to the curb. He pops the trunk for Ben’s bag. They get in the car. Ben immediately leans his head against the window. Joe suspects even more that something is wrong. The cars in front of them aren’t moving so he takes the opportunity to turn to Ben, “why are you here early?”

Ben shrugs, “just missed you.”

Joe scoffs, “more than Gwil?”

Ben chews on his lip, “he’s busy.”

“K.” Joe checks to see if the cars are moving. They aren’t yet so he continues, “why do I feel like I should be comforting you? You look...sad.”

Ben tries to look out the window before he starts crying but Joe sees any ways.

Joe pulls his phone from his pocket, “this seems like a job for Gwil, not me.”

Ben quickly turns and grabs Joe’s phone, “NO.”

Joe laughs, “give me my phone back.” He reaches for it but Ben pulls it farther away from him. Joe realizes Ben isn’t teasing or being playful. He sits back but keeps his eyes on Ben. Ben looks like a kicked puppy. A horrible though enters his brain, “did...did he hurt you?”

Ben puts his hands in his lap, looking at Joe’s phone, “no..it’s… just don’t.”

Joe crosses his arms, “let me call him then.”

Ben looks at Joe, pleading with him, “I don’t want you to. I’m begging you not to.”

Joe shakes his head, “why?”

Ben rubs his face, “it’s between me and him.” Ben sighs, “we’re going to work it out and I don’t want any of our friendship to be weird after. Don’t worry about it.”

“I,” Joe puts his car in park and turns on his hazzards, “how can you expect me not to ask?”

Ben closes his eyes, “I’m not ready to talk about it. Just please.” He doesn’t want everyone knowing their dirty laundry. He hopes they can still fix their marriage. He doesn’t want everyone judging him or Gwil after. Also, he wants Gwil to call him on his own accord. Gwil contacting him because someone tells him to or because Joe just hands him the phone wouldn’t mean as much. He wants Gwil to seek him out.

“Ben.” Joe can’t believe Ben expects him not to worry about them. He has no idea what could have happened. Up until 5 minutes ago, Joe had no clues things weren’t perfect between them.

“Promise me Joe.”

Joe rolls his eyes. The car behind him honks. Joe groans and waves for them to go around them. Joe looks back to Ben. He looks like he’s about to cry again. Joe opens his mouth.

Ben talks before Joe can, “promise me you aren’t going to call him the second I’m out of sight. Let us work it out. It will be fine. You and I can have an exclusive Ben and Joe weekend.”

Joe raises his hands, “I CAN’T JUST LET…”

Ben cuts him off, “JOE!” His voice is stern.

Joe has never heard Ben raise his voice. Joe closes his eyes so he doesn’t roll them. He thinks this is ridiculous. He sighs and opens his eyes, “I hate this. But fine. I promise.”

Ben forces a smile, “thank you.” Ben playfully punches Joe’s shoulder, “you ready for our Hardyzello weekend?”

Joe knows Ben is mostly faking this but can’t help laughing, “it’s Hardzello! And you bet your ass I am!”

Ben genuinely laughs for the first time in days. He’s glad Andy convinced him to come visit Joe early.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not really sure how I feel about part of this chapter, but that’s okay.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place mid December 2019.

“Gwilym, what’s wrong?” Ceiwen askes.

Gwil clenches his jaw so he doesn’t sob. Of course his mam could tell within minutes something was wrong. Gwil takes a deep breath, “I’m just tired.”

There’s a pause before his mam response, “If you’re sure.”

Gwil can tell she doesn’t fully believe him. He lets his head fall back against the headboard. He looks towards an open spot in the room. He has thought that it would be a good place to place a crib. He wouldn’t mind sharing a room with his baby. Thinking about that is the only thing getting him through not sharing a room with Ben. He needs to tell his mam about both. Especially since the next thing she asks is how Ben is.

Gwil rubs his face, “he’s...he’s good. Busy.” Gwil tells himself that it's vague enough that it’s not a lie. He hopes it’s not a lie. He wants Ben to be good. He wants him to be happy. He just wishes it was still with him. 

Ceiwen hums, “good for him. Give him my love. Since you’ll be at his folks for Christmas, do you want to come here before?” 

Gwil doesn’t know how to answer that so he just avoids it, “I’ll ask Ben what would work for his schedule. You may just get me.”

His mam chuckles, “I guess you’ll do.”

“Thanks, mam,” Gwil replies sarcastically. “How are things there?” Ceiwen starts telling Gwil about Owain coming over with his kids the previous weekend. Gwil can’t help smiling a little bit. He’s also glad that when he finally does tell her Ben and him are over, he can distract her with news that she’ll have another grandchild. Maybe she’ll be less upset with him for ruining his marriage. 

Gwil’s still not sure what happened. If Ben would only answer the phone when he calls, maybe he could find out. Gwil knows they both kept their feelings to themselves before they were together but he never thought Ben would shut him out like this. Gwil wonders what he could have done better. 

Gwil thinks maybe Ben got horny and slept with someone, then developed feelings for them. It’s similar to how they got together. There was one early morning for him and late night for Ben when Ben asked Gwil to show him the goods while facetiming. Gwil has assumed Ben was joking since Gwil was being driven to set. Any sort of virtual intimacy never came up again. Perhaps Gwil made Ben feel rejected so he went to someone else. 

“Gwilym!”

“Huh? Oh sorry, mam.” Gwil spaced out and didn’t realize his mam stopped talking. “I’ve got an appointment in a bit. I should shower.”

Ceiwen speaks softly, voice full of concern, “are you sure nothing more is the matter? You don’t seem like yourself.” 

Gwil wells up, “things are fine.” Gwil has to admit this lie is very obvious.

“I’ll be home all day if you need to talk later.” 

“Thanks, mam. I love you.” Gwil thinks maybe he should go home over the weekend. He could really go for a hug from his parents right now. 

Ceiwen sounds more cheerful now, “I love you, too. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, mam.” Gwil hangs up and sighs. He starts to put his phone down but stops right before it hits the mattress. He makes his daily attempt to call Ben. Gwil isn’t surprised when the full voicemail picks up like every time but it still hurts. Gwil rubs his chest over his heart as he gathers fresh clothes for after he showers. 

Gwil comes out of the shower, using the towel to dry his hair, and sees Ava with his phone in her hand. Gwil’s eyes narrow, “why do you have my phone?”

Ava’s mouth opens and she looks at the phone. He thinks she looks guilty for a moment but she extends her hand, “it’s ringing. I was bringing it to you.”

Gwil’s pulse quickens. He takes the phone. His shoulders slump when he sees the name on the screen. He takes the phone to his room and shuts the door as he answers, “hey Rami, how are you?” He sits down on the end of the bed.

“Good. How about you?”

Gwil taps his toes on the ground, not sure how to answer, “I’m actually about to head out. Got an appointment.”

“An audition?” Rami sounds excited.

Gwil smiles, “no. Just a scheduled exam with a doctor.”

Rami doesn’t know if right now is the right time to bring it up since Gwil has to be somewhere, “I just wanted to check...Ben seemed..cagey when we saw him last. Joe said he was quiet upstate.” Rami pauses, “have you spoken to him?”

Gwil wants to ask so many questions. He wants to know what Rami knows that would cause him to ask if he’s talked to his own husband. 

Gwil scratches at his beard, “I just called Ben about 20 minutes ago.”

“Of course you did. Well, I won’t make you be late.” 

Gwil interrupts him, “do you and Joe talk about us a lot?”

Rami stammers, “no.” 

Gwil smirks, “then what do you and Joe do together then?” Gwil’s had some suspicions about them for a while. He’s also rather not be the subject of conversation.

Rami huffs, “that’s not my just my story to tell.”

Gwil’s jaw drops. He clears his throat, “well, Ben’s behavior isn’t just my story to tell.”

Rami rolls his eyes, “so you aren’t going to tell me?”

Gwil sighs, “I don’t even know what I could say. Why aren’t you saying?”

Rami chews on his lip, “it’s private.”

Gwil scoffs, “yeah, well so is this. Give me a call when you’re going to tell me the whole story. I’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Gwil..”

Gwil hangs up. He falls back on the bed, mad at himself for taking his frustrations out on Rami. The last thing he needs to have a falling out with one of his closest mates. He’s about to call Rami back when Ava knocks on the door.

“Time to go. We don’t want to be late.”

++++++++

Gwil rotates his phone against his leg, tapping it when he switches to the next side. He never would have guessed he’d be waiting for his estranged husband to call him while he waited for a doctor to give his ex an ultrasound. He isn’t sure if it’s rude to be watching his phone this closely in the situation but he doesn’t care until Ava glances at the phone a couple times. He makes sure it’s on vibrate before he slides it into his pocket. 

Gwil misses Ben so much it physically hurts. He doesn’t want to be here without him. He wants a child. He always has, but he wants Ben’s. Or at least some child they have or adopt together. He doesn’t want to have to hope that Ben accepts the situation. He also doesn’t want to be someone that was cheated on. 

He leans forward, elbows on his knees and covers his face with his hands. He feels like he could start crying again. 

The door opens, so Gwil sits up. He moves his chair slightly closer to the exam table. The doctor smiles politely at them. 

“Hello, Ms. Ava.” The doctor extends his hand to Gwil, “you must be the husband.”

Gwil stands slightly to shake his hand, “oh...no. Just the father. It’s…” Gwil looks awkwardly between the doctor and Ava, “just the father.”

The doctor nods once, “very well. My mistake. Everyone ready to see the baby?”

Ava nods enthusiastically, “yes!”

Gwil puffs up his cheeks and blows the air out slowly, “I guess.” 

Ava whips her head towards Gwil, glaring. 

Gwil grimaces, “I mean, yes. Of course. It’s…” Gwil trails off. He tucks his hands between his knees and just looks towards the screen. 

“This will be cold.” The doctor squirts gel onto Ava’s stomach then rubs the wand around. 

Gwil eyes are unfocused. He’s mostly looking in the direction of the screen. Then he hears fast, rhythmic thumping. His ears perk up. He looks at the doctor, who smiles.

“And there’s the heartbeat.”

Gwil’s eyes fill with tears, happy ones for once. He laughs, “there’s really a kid in there.”

Ava scoffs, “you didn’t know that?” 

“I did.” Gwil chuckles again, “it’s just...that’s my kid.” Gwil moves to the edge of his chair to get a better look. 

The doctor turns the screen to better face Gwil and Ava. He lifts his free hand to point, “here’s the fingers.”

Gwil smiles wide, “they’ve got fingers.” A tear slides down his cheek. 

Ava laughs, “fingers are a good start.”

The doctor smiles as he moves the wand slightly, “we’ve got a head too. That’s a better start.”

Gwil laughs, “as long as there’s just the one.”

Ava rolls her eyes and smacks Gwil’s shoulder. 

Gwil grabs her hand and gives it a slight squeeze, “we’ve got a baby.” 

Ava smiles, “we do.”

Gwil’s smile falters. The person he wants to tell most isn’t answering his calls.

++++++++

Gwil wakes up far earlier than he needs to. He looks towards the window. The sun isn’t even up yet. It looks like it hasn’t even begun to peak over the horizon. Gwil rolls over to look at his phone. He can’t help being sad there aren’t any alerts from Ben. It’s barely 5 am but he could get in a good run before he has to work. He knows he’s not going to fall back asleep. 

He knows it's a ridiculous hour and can practically hear Ben’s whines in his ear if he was woken up at this hour, but Gwil thinks he’d be unoccupied at this time of day. Unless, of course, he’s in bed with whoever he cheated with. No answer. Full voicemail. Gwil throws his phone on the bed so hard it bounces off and hits the floor. He doesn’t bother picking it up. 

Gwil’s legs burn by the time he gets back to the flat. It was a nice distraction from all the thoughts in his head. He’s brought right back to them when he pulls open the fridge to get the water pitcher. The intact handle just makes him think of the broken one at Ben’s. He bites down on his lip to stop from crying out. Maybe Ben just liked the sex with Gwil and confused it for love. Once that was gone, he didn’t need Gwil for anything else. 

Gwil pours a glass of water. When he puts the pitcher back in the fridge, he sees the sonogram picture. He rubs his finger over the picture, “hi little baby. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Gwil wonders if somehow Ben found out Ava was having his kid and thought Gwil cheated on him. He really hopes that’s not true. Gwil knows what that feels like. He doesn’t want Ben to feel like this.

Gwil turns when he hears Ava’s bedroom door open. He waves and takes another drink, “hope I didn’t wake you.”

She shakes her head, “my alarm did. I’ve got errands to do.”

Gwil puts his glass down on the counter and turns back to look at the sonogram.

“Gwil?” Ava waits for Gwil to look at her, “what are you thinking?”

Gwil sighs, “about how Ben doesn’t love me anymore. And...how he’ll react about the baby.”

Ava mumbles under her breath.

Gwil raises his eyebrows, “what?”

“It wasn’t nice.” 

Gwil crosses his arms, “yeah? Tell me.”

“This wasn’t exactly it...You said he didn’t want kids.” Ava looks away from Gwil.

Gwil tightens his arms over his chest, “what else? I know you. I know you’re holding back.”

Ava sighs and looks back at him, “I think he’s giving you a pretty big sign. I just… you said it yourself. Maybe you’re right.”

Gwil sniffles, “you don’t know him.”

Ava takes a step towards Gwil, “no. You do though.” Ava ducks her head, “I think he’s done. And I think you, who I do know, also think that. You just don’t want to say it outloud.” 

Gwil wails and falls to his knees. Tears start flowing harder than he’s ever cried in his life. He buries his face in his hands. 

After a few moments, Ava walks over and places her hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it, “I’ll be there when you apply for divorce. If you want.”

Gwil looks up at her, his eyes passing over her stomach, now slightly protruding more than when he found out she was pregnant. He has a kid coming to focus on now. Gwil clenches his jaw. He nods and stands up, “Thank you.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried when I was writing the last bit. 
> 
> There will be a day they are back in the same room, promise!
> 
> There is more story after we get to the time period of the first chapter! 
> 
> I know there’s a lot of drama and a lot less smut that the first half had, but i hope anyone still reading enjoys this as well


	27. Chapter 27

Ben wanders aimlessly around the store. He has no idea what to get his mum for Christmas. He’s still got another week but needed to get out of the house. He felt pathetic sitting around feeling sorry for himself. He’s tired of feeling sad. He walks over to the jewelry section to see if anything catches his eye.

He’s hovering over the necklace display when arms wrap around his waist and pick him up. Ben grunts as he’s lifted off the ground.

“BEN!!” Owain cheers enthusiastically as he sets him back down on the ground.

Ben turns around to face him, “oh! Hi Owain! I had no bloody clue who you were when you picked me up. How are you?” 

“Sorry.” Owain smiles and looks around, “is my brother here? I haven’t heard from him in ages. Have you murdered him for life insurance?”

Ben huffs a small laugh, “no.” He bites his lip. He certainly hasn’t told his own family but he’s surprised Gwil has at least spoken to his brother recently. Owain is looking at Ben expectantly, so he just quickly assumes, “he’s working.”

Owain frowns, “well, too bad. We are all very sad you’re stealing Gwil for Christmas. The kids were looking forward to seeing you both.”

“Oh.” Ben scratches his head. He’s a little speechless. They must not have any idea anything is wrong. 

Owain smirks, “I hope you have a great time at your parents. I imagine mam is going to put her foot down about next year though. OR…” Owain looks really excited, “it’s just you and your brother and parents, they can come next year too!”

Ben can’t help smiling at that thought. He would love to combine their families for Christmas, “that sounds lovely.” 

Their mums got along while they were wedding planning over the summer. Ben isn’t sure if that wedding is going to happen. He loses his smile.

Owain’s eyebrows knit together, “is everything okay?”

Ben shakes his head, trying to clear the sad thoughts. He left his house to stop thinking about all that, “sorry. Yes. I..I really hope that happens.”

Owain puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder, “If you need anything, I’m here.”

Ben half smiles, “thank you.”

Owain pulls him into a hug and claps Ben on the shoulder, “love you brother.”

Ben bites his lip, squeezing Owain a little harder, “love you too.”

Owain pulls back and smiles, “I’ve got to get going.” He looks at his watch, “I told the family I’d bring back food.”

Ben smiles, “don’t keep them waiting.”

Owain points at him as he walks off, “make my brother call me.”

Ben waves and forces a smile. Through his teeth, he says just so he can hear, “I’d like to make him call me.”

Ben turns around back to the necklaces. None of them look like something he mum would wear. He goes to the next display. He bites his lip so he doesn’t whimper. It’s a display of men’s wedding bands. His eyes immediately fall on one that looks like Gwil. 

A cheerful shop assistant pops up in front of him, “may I show you something, sir?”

Ben takes a deep breath, “no. Probably not.” Ben gives her a nod and taps the counter twice. He tries to leave the store as quickly as he can. He gets turned around and just ends up going deeper into the store. He sees the loo and ducks in there. He goes into one of the stalls, quickly locking it as he rests his head against the door. His breathing turns short and shallow. He slaps the door as tears start to form. He feels like he can’t breath. The loo stall feels too big and too small all at once. He should have hugged Owain longer. He wants to hug Gwil. 

Ben moves his hands to the top of the stall door, gripping the edge as he pushes his palms against it. He faces the ground, trying with all his might not to scream. 

A tear slides down his nose and drips to the ground. Another joins it. Ben’s arms start shaking as he watches two tiny puddles form below him. Ben doesn’t think he’ll ever get to put that band on Gwil’s finger.

++++++++

Ben is getting stuff sorted to wrap his parents and brother’s presents when the door buzzes. He isn’t expecting anyone. He walks over to the buzzer.

He holds it down, “hello?”

A man responds, “Is this Mr. Benjamin Lee Jones?”

Ben doesn’t know who this could be, “may I ask who this is?” 

“A courier, sir. I’ve got a delivery I need your signature for. Plus identification.”

Ben is used to getting scripts this way. He wasn’t expecting anything but maybe his agent forgot to get a hold of him. 

“I’ll buzz you up.” Ben presses the button to let him in. He picks his wallet up from the small table next to the door. He gets out his drivers license and opens the door for the courier. 

A few moments later the man appears in the doorway, knocking against the frame, “I’ll need your name, printed then signed, plus ID.” 

Ben hands him his ID then takes the clipboard. He finds the line with his name to fill out. He hands it back to him and gets his ID and a large yellow envelope back. Ben closes and locks the door behind the courier.

He walks over to the kitchen table and opens the envelope. The papers inside should not surprise him as much as they do. 

Gwil has applied for divorce. 

Gwil doesn’t want him anymore.

Gwil doesn’t love him anymore.

Ben feels dizzy. He starts to stand, but immediate regrets that and sits back down. He shoves the papers away from him, dissatisfied when they don’t go far enough. He never wants to see them again. He wants to rip them to shreds. Set the shreds on fire. 

Ben covers his eyes with his fingers but It doesn’t help him hide from his grief. He bites down the edge of his hand, trying not to cry out. He can’t believe it’s come to this. He thought Gwil truly cared for him. He can’t imagine the man he knows doing this. 

Ben tries to stand again slowly. He’s less dizzy this time. He slowly walks over to his phone. 

He pulls up Gwil’s name. It’s not his usual Sunday call, but he’ll try again. Maybe he’ll have more luck. He’s only called one other time early one morning. There’s a small flicker of hope that Gwil did this just to get Ben’s attention.

There’s one ring, a clicking noise, and Gwil’s voicemail picks up. Hearing Gwil’s voice makes Ben start crying. He misses it. It beeps for Ben to speak.

Ben takes a deep breath, “Gwil...don’t...don’t do this...I’ve got the papers. I love you! I love you so much… I don’t know why you’re mad...or what happened to make...what did I...please…” Ben sits back down at the table, resting his forehead against the edge, “just...please...I love you and miss you. We can start fresh, whatever you want. Just please not this. Just call me.” 

Ben ends the call. He keeps sitting there for a few moments, tightly gripping his phone. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. All of his future plans revolved around him being Gwil’s husband. That won’t be the case anymore.

  
  


++++++++

Andy walks out of the spare bedroom, “do you have any more tape?”

Ben turns around from the kitchen cabinet, mug in hand to add to the box he’s packing. He points to the living room with his free hand, “on the coffee table.”

Andy watches Ben pack for a moment before getting the tape. He clears his throat and waits for Ben to turn around, “you sure about this mate?”

Ben closes his eyes and sighs, “I just can’t live here.”

Andy puts the tape down, “it was your place first.”

Ben chews on his lip, looking away from Andy. He can’t stay here. He didn’t want to explain. Ben doesn’t think he really believes in them, but it seemed like a sign when his landlord called the day after Ben got the divorce papers. She wanted to know if Ben was renewing his lease. Ben immediately said no.

Everywhere he looks in the flat makes him think of Gwil now. He goes to the kitchen and sees Gwil making them dinner. He goes to the bedroom and sees them curled together sleeping. He goes into the bathroom and sees Gwil waiting for Ben to brush his teeth for him. He goes to the living room and sees Gwil kneeling before him to propose. 

Ben turns back to Andy, eyes full of tears and silently shakes his head. 

“Yeah. Alright.” Andy holds out his arms, “do you want a hug or will that make things worse.”

Ben is about to tell him no but lifts his arms instead. Andy quickly walks over and pulls Ben in. Ben lets Andy take most of his weight. He rests his head on his shoulder. 

Andy rubs his hand up and down Ben’s back, “the new flat is closer to me. I know that’s the real reason you're moving.”

Ben smiles just the tiniest bit, “obviously.”

There’s a knock on the door, his landlord, Lisa, lets herself in, along with two other people. “Oh,” she sounds surprised, “sorry to interrupt.”

Ben pulls away from Andy, but Andy just shifts so he’s standing next to Ben with his arm around his waist. Ben wipes his face, “not interrupting. How can I help?”

Lisa smiles, “I have possible tenants with me. I knew you’d be almost out if you weren’t already. Mind if I show them around?”

Ben shakes his head, “‘course not.” Ben looks back around, smiling sadly, “it’s a lovely place.” Ben hums when Andy kisses his temple. Ben steps away from Andy, “we’ll carry some boxes down so we aren’t hovering while you look.”

Andy claps Ben’s shoulder, “new place will be lovely too. I’ll make sure of it.”

Ben smiles, “thanks.”

Andy playfully slaps Ben on the arse, “now put those muscles to use and carry some boxes.”

Ben rolls his eyes and smiles at the couple walking around the flat. He looks back to Andy, “yes, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full disclosure...I don't think the timeline for Gwil applying for a divorce and Ben getting the papers within a week is probably correct, but I didn't really think about that till I had the timeline all set out in my outline... just pretend with me.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of the chapter is late December 2019 and the rest of March 2020.

Gwil walks down the block for the third time without stopping. He really hopes no one notices and turns him in for stalking or loitering. He takes a deep breath and turns the corner to walk around a bit before trying again. 

If someone had asked him a year ago where he thought he would be spending his first anniversary, it would not have been like this. Being scared to even talk to his husband would not have been on the list of possibilities.

His first anniverary, fucking paper anniversary. The only papers he gave Ben were divorce papers. Gwil thinks he’s a terrible husband. He knows he is. He doesn’t know how he got here. As soon as he submitted the form online, he regretted it. He’s not sure if Ava meant to do it, but she basically convinced him to do it. 

The next day, after Gwil barely slept a wink, he thought maybe he’d at least get some sort of response from Ben. Not just this deafening silence. That didn’t work out for him.

Now he’s here. Trying not to look shifty and work up the courage to knock on Ben’s door. He wants to just talk to him. If even it’s just Ben yelling at him for having a kid on the way. Gwil would hate it, even now, but even if he just gets a chance to say goodbye to Ben in person. He’d settle for listening to Ben tell him how he fell out of love with him and in love with someone else. He just wants to say it in person.

He knows the code. He could just let himself up. He doesn’t think that’s fair though. Gwil reaches his finger out to press the buzzer but curls his finger back. He scratches at his beard, closes his eyes, and presses it before he changes his mind again. After a moment, the door unlatches without anyone taking through the speaker. Gwil finds that odd, but opens the door anyways. 

Gwil takes the lift upstairs and finds the door to the flat cracked open. He gently knocks and calls out, “hello?”

A short, dark haired woman comes out of his old bedroom, “hi, are you here with the refrigerator?”

Gwil opens his mouth to answer but then makes a confused noise, “err, no. I was actually looking for Ben.”

The lady slightly frowns, “there’s no Ben.” Her face lights up with recognition, “oh! That’s the bloke that just moved out. Sorry, he went somewhere...possibly with his boyfriend. They were flirty and talking about making their new place lovely.”

“Oh.” Gwil sniffles, “right.” Gwil stammers. Ben’s moved in with someone. He tries and fakes a smile, “sorry. I thought that was… sorry ma’am. Have a lovely day.” Gwil backs out of the flat, slightly bumping the frame and walks quickly to the stairs. He sits down on the top step. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall. Gwil scolds himself for having a ridiculous daydream that they would see each other and suddenly be back to how things were. That maybe they just needed to be in the same room. Gwil would instantly forgive Ben about cheating and Ben might hesitate but then be excited about a child. Gwil whimpers, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He thought maybe they could kiss on their anniversary. Rip up those stupid papers Gwil applied for. Instead, it seems they just gave Ben the freedom to move in with someone else.

After crying for a while, Gwil stands up. He doesn’t want someone to find him sobbing in the stairwell of a building he no longer lives in. He sighs and walks down the stairs to return to the life he doesn’t want.

++++++++

Gwil sits in the hallway of the courthouse with his solicitor. She’s seemed nice enough but Gwil’s not really up for small talk. He just stares at his knees, trying not to start crying. He tells himself just to think of this as another acting job. Pretend your fine. Pretend you’re not devastated. 

Gwil doesn’t know what he’ll do if Ben shows up with his boyfriend. Gwil chews on his bottom lip, hoping the slight pain will stop tears from forming. They aren’t supposed to have anyone else come into the room, but his solicitor said he could have anyone waiting outside if he wanted. Ava overheard this and volunteered to come with. He immediately shut that down. 

They’ve been getting along fine as friends. If they really even are friends now. Gwil basically keeps to himself. They occasionally end up eating in the evening together. If they aren’t talking about the baby, the conversation is a bit lacking. It really reminds him of why they ended their relationship. He tries to stay out of the flat whenever he’s not working. He’s been running more than ever. He’s gone to all the doctor’s appointments and will absolutely be there for his baby. He doesn’t see a need to be best friends with Ava though. The thought of it just makes him wish he was still living with Ben. Even if it was like when he first moved in and they were just friends. 

A door at the end of the hall opens. Gwil looks out of the corner of his eye. He sharply inhales when he sees it’s Ben. Gwil looks back to the ground in front of him. He wants to run up to him, hug him, then apologize and tell him everything. He just steals another glance at him instead. Of course Ben looks bloody gorgeous. Gwil’s solicitor taps his shoulder. Gwil thinks this might kill him but stands up anyways.

  
  


Gwil just wants to stare at Ben the whole time. He can finally look at the face he sees every night before he falls asleep. He wants to see if he can tell if Ben is happy. He thinks he must be. He hopes he is. 

Instead, Gwil focuses on a spot to the side Ben’s lawyer's head. He tries to think of the meditation techniques his friend told him about. Maybe he can clear his mind so he doesn’t think about Ben being with someone else. Or how this is the last place he ever wants to be. He thought maybe thinking about his kid would help, but it just made him think of how Ben won’t be there to raise it. Even if everything between him and Ben was fine, Ben may not want kids still. 

Gwil focuses on his breathing, trying to think of only that. Breathing in for as long as he can before slowly exhaling. He repeats this until he hears shuffling paper.

His eyes flick down to the paperwork being given to Ben. Gwil looks the opposite direction. He knows he started it, but can’t think if a single reason why they should go through with it. He looks towards the window so he doesn’t have to watch Ben sign away their life. He can hear the scratching of the nib against the paper. 

Ben actually signing just confirms to Gwil that he wants this. Even if Gwil doesn’t, he’ll sign too. 

The document is slid in front of him. His eyes immediately go to the blank spot for his name. Everything else blurs. Gwil thinks the white of the paper is bright and hurting his eyes. He realizes the pricking is just tears trying to form. He takes a deep breath and signs his name. He puts the pen down as gently as he can. He looks towards the moderator, looking at his forehead so he thinks Gwil is paying attention. All Gwil can think about is how much he hates himself right now and all the things he could have done better. 

The scraping of a chair against the hardwood floor steals Gwil’s attention. He looks up and sees Ben scurrying out of the room. He caught a glimpse of his face. It looked like he was crying. Gwil has to find out why. 

He ignores something his solicitor says and follows behind Ben. He sees him walking quickly right before he darts into the bathroom. 

Gwil’s long legs allow him to catch up quickly. He reaches out for Ben’s arm to stop him from going into the stall.

A red-eyed Ben turns around, almost glaring at Gwil.

Gwil’s eyes narrow, “why are you crying?”

Ben scoffs, then there’s a slight pause. 

Gwil watches as he looks from side to side. Gwil holds his breath, waiting.

Ben shoulders slightly relax, “because I still love you.”

Gwil drops his hand, unable to believe what he just heard. He takes a step back, bringing his hands to his mouth. He wasn’t expecting this. He leans on one of his legs, then the other. He didn’t think he’d be lucky enough for Ben to still have feelings for him. He figured his heart was completely taken by someone else by now

Gwil pulls his hands away, “you do?” Gwil takes another deep breath, trying to steady himself. He runs his hands through his hair, “but...what?”

Ben wipes some tears from his face, “I didn’t want this.”

Gwil sees fresh tears forming in Ben’s eyes, causing some of his own to form. Gwil sniffles, “why didn’t you say?”

Ben looks indignant, “why didn’t you answer?”

Gwil drops his hands to his sides. He tilts his head, “you didn’t call.” He wants to say all the terrible reasons why he figured Ben wasn’t calling him. 

Ben scoffs, “I called. A lot.” Ben ducks into the stall, grabbing paper for his eyes. He looks back at Gwil, “Every Sunday. Every Sunday till you sent those fucking papers. I called.”

Gwil notices the anger in Ben’s voice. The hurt on his face. He swallows hard. He thinks of the times his phone seemed to be in a slightly different place or when he found Ava with it. Surely not…

Gwil sighs, “can we...can we go somewhere else? Anywhere?” Gwil scratches his beard. He talks quietly, “where do you live? Is he there?”

Ben knits his brows together, “Joe’s in New York? Is that who you mean?”

Gwil shakes his head, “nevermind. Can we just go talk? Not in a loo.” Ben doesn’t answer right away so Gwil rethinks this. He doesn’t want to make Ben do anything he doesn’t want, “or not. I’d...we can talk here if you want. I have so much to say to you.”

Ben chews on his lip, looking off to the side. A man comes into the bathroom, looking at the two of them before approaching the urinal. 

Ben nods his head, “yeah. Alright, let’s go.”

Gwil can’t help slightly smiling as he follows behind Ben.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve come full circle!!
> 
> They’re in the same room!!
> 
> WHAT??? THEY’RE GOING TO TALK??? Surely not these two


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is right after the last chapter.

Ben opens the door to his flat. It’s his small, studio flat. He doesn’t need much with just him. The smaller space made him feel like less was missing. He holds the door open for Gwil, then locks it behind him. He watches as Gwil looks around. Ben feels his cheeks heating up. He wonders if Gwil has guessed why he moved.

Gwil takes off his jacket, folding it over his arm. He looks around Ben’s flat. His eyes immediately go to the unmade bed. It’s still the bed they shared but Gwil can’t help noticing it looks like only one person was sleeping in it. He bites the inside of his lip so he doesn’t smile. He could be getting ahead of himself. Maybe Ben was just alone last night. He turns back to Ben.

Ben half smiles for a second, then gestures towards the chair and loveseat by the foot of his bed, “here. Sit.” Ben sits down in the chair. He wants to sit next to Gwil, but also doesn’t. He’s not sure if he wants to touch him. Nearly half an hour later, Ben can still feel where Gwil grabbed his arm. 

Gwil puts his jacket over the arm of the small loveseat and sits down. He angles himself towards Ben. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to talk, but notices Ben doing the same. He shuts his mouth. He chuckles when Ben mirrors him. Gwil slowly opens his mouth, and pauses. He doesn’t know where to start, “err...how’ve you been?’

Ben can’t help rolling his eyes, “I’ve been shit, Gwil. What do you think?” There’s more acid in his tone than he wanted to have when they silently rode in the taxi to his place.

Gwil looks at his lap, “right.” He looks up at Ben, “but why? What about…” Gwil closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He looks at Ben again, “when I went to Montreal...they said...you were on a sex vacation with...your lover. Did that not work out?” Gwil wipes a tear from his cheek.

Ben’s jaw slightly drops, “sorry what? What are you talking about? You’re the one with the lover!” Ben sounds defensive. He doesn’t want to start their conversation like that though. He wants to apologize but Gwil’s already reacted.

Gwil sharply inhales, “that’s not how...we didn’t sleep together.” 

Ben stands up, pushing his hands into his hair. He spins around. He turns back to Gwil. He holds his hand out towards the same bed, with a different mattress, “I heard it! I heard the noise, the moan, and the “good girl”” Ben feels like he could gag repeating those words.

Gwil pushes his head forward, opening his mouth to talk but just letting out air. He thinks. He looks towards the bed, then to Ben, “that wasn’t...that wasn’t that.” Gwil clears his throat, “she was throwing up. I was holding her hair.”

Ben sits back in the chair. He props his elbows on his knees and covers his face with his hands. Ben was so sure about what he heard. 

Gwil wants to reach out and sothe Ben, rub his shoulder, push some hair off his forehead to kiss it. That’s not his place anymore. He decides to explain instead, “I didn’t sleep with her. I swear to it, Ben. But...I have a kid on the way. I have doctor's notes to back up that I was faithful to you. There’s still a child though.” Ben looks up at him so he stops talking.

“What? With who?” Ben can’t believe what he’s hearing.

Gwil swallows, “Ava. I can go get all the proof, if you’d like. I promise there was no sex. At any point. Even after I went to tell you and...found out about you.”

Ben blinks rapidly, “I didn’t cheat. I...no. I wouldn’t. I had days off so I flew home to see you for 48 hours. Then went to a hotel to hide when I thought I caught you in bed. Who told you that?”

Gwil starts to well up, “I...I found out about the kid and I had to tell you, talk to you about what to do. I went to your set and some blonde woman in hair and makeup told me you were gone. Some guy confirmed you were with someone.” The tears start to fall. Gwil shifts on the loveseat so he’s closer to Ben’s chair, “I’m so sorry.” Gwil squeezes his eyes shut, “I don’t know why I was so quick to believe it. I…I am so sorry.”

Ben wipes some of his own tears away with the back of his hand, “I wasn’t much better. I assumed…” Ben falls back in the chair, look at the ceiling, “fuck! Why was I so quick to assume.”

Gwil curls his fingers so he doesn’t teach out for Ben’s hand on the arm of the chair, “I don’t know why I believe them. I always trusted you.” Gwil pushes his glasses up to rub his eyes with his finger tips, “I’m so sorry, Ben. I don’t know why...I… Ava just backed up my worse thoughts.” Gwil sniffles, “she doesn’t know you.” Gwil takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Of course you wouldn’t do that.”

Ben sits up and looks at Gwil, “You didn’t cheat. I didn’t cheat. You’ve got a kid apparently? What do we do now?”

Gwil sighs, “I just want my husband back.”

Ben’s eyes get glassy, “I’m not your husband anymore.”

Gwil nods, “I’d like to have you in my life. However you’re willing to be. I don’t really deserve it though.” Gwil picks at a piece of fuzz on his lap, “Ben?”

Ben just watches Gwil for a moment, “yeah?”

Gwil looks up at him, “I still love you, too. You said before. I love you, too.”

Ben stands up and moves to sit next to Gwil. Gwil shifts to face him. Ben picks up the small decorative pillow and hugs it, “I don’t know what I want.” Ben gestures between, “but I need to know why you didn’t call me. Ever.”

Gwil gets his phone out of his pocket, “I called you a lot. It always went to your voicemail.” Gwil unlocks his phone to show Ben the call history. 

Ben shakes his head, “you didn’t. No. NO. I made sure I left it on so I wouldn’t miss it.” Ben holds his hand out, “may I try?” 

Gwil hands him the phone. Ben finds his name in Gwil’s phone to call himself. He pulls out his own phone. Ben can hear the phone ringing through Gwil’s but Ben’s phone stays silent. 

Ben frowns at Gwil’s phone and tries again. It just rings a few times and goes to his voicemail with nothing happening on Ben’s phone. Ben looks up at Gwil.

Gwil shrugs, “that’s what’s been happening to me this entire time. I thought you…” Gwil swallows hard, “I thought you didn’t want me anymore so you just found someone else and stopped answering me.”

Ben almost puts his hand on Gwil’s shoulder. He just shakes his head, “no. I didn’t. I wouldn’t have done that.” Ben chews on his lip as he looks back to his phone. He wants to tell Gwil that even now there wouldn’t be anyone else for him but he’s not ready to say that outloud. 

Ben goes to his contact for Gwil to check if the number is correct or anything else that might be weird. He scrolls to the bottom of the contact and sees “unblock contact.” Ben mumbles, “what the fuck.”

“What?” Gwil leans over but makes sure not to touch Ben. He can feel warmth radiating off him. His eyes flick up to Ben’s face. He wants to place a kiss on his cheek. Gwil doesn’t think that would go over well. He leans back to his side.

Ben looks over at him. He recognizes the loving look on Gwil’s face. He just watches him for a moment. “Your contact was blocked.” Ben unblocks the number and calls again. It goes through without issue. 

“Why?” Gwil looks up at Ben confused why Ben would block him. He just asks, “did you...well did you block me after you heard noises? Maybe you forgot.”

Ben shakes his head, “no. I wouldn’t do that. My phone was dead. I forgot my charger. I may have run away at first but I came back that night to confront you.”

Gwil’s shoulders slump, “I was gone, going to see you then.” He shifts just a little to face Ben more.

Ben sighs, “I think the universe conspired against us.” Ben turns a little to face Gwil more.

Gwil gives him a soft smile, “let’s not let it anymore.”

Ben bites his lip and nods. Ben looks over Gwil’s face, just as handsome as ever. Maybe a little tired, but still the most handsome man he’s ever seen. Ben takes a deep breath, “so you didn’t ignore my voicemails?”

Gwil puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder but pulls it back when Ben looks at it, “I promise you I didn’t get them.” Gwil clears his throat, “I have some suspicions about that. Do you mind if I check if I’m right?”

Ben shakes his head, ‘go ahead.”

Gwil sits forward on the loveseat again. Gwil pulls out his phone and calls Ava. He puts it on speaker. Gwil looks at Ben, “so you can hear. I don’t want you to think I’m hiding anything. Any questions you have, I’ll answer.” 

Ben half smiles and nods.

Ava picks up. Ben can’t help glaring at the phone. She sounds way too happy to him, “Oh Gwil! How are you? Are you on your way home?”

Gwil clenches his jaw a bit, “no. I need to ask you something.”

There’s a slight pause, “then come home and ask.”

Gwil looks at Ben. He looks hurt again. Gwil hadn’t said he was staying with Ava yet. “I’m not coming there. I spoke to Ben.”

Ava sounds cautiously curious, “oh yeah? Did you see him and his boyfriend? I don’t know how he thinks he could find someone better than you.”

Ben scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

Gwil resists the urge to put his hand on Ben’s knee, “no. He doesn’t have a boyfriend. Never did. Do you know anything about why I didn’t get Ben’s voicemails?”

She answers far too quickly, “no.”

Ben starts shaking his leg. He’s never met this woman but can tell it’s a lie.

Gwil sighs, “do you want to try that again?”

“I.” There’s a pause. “I do know why.”

Gwil stands up, “WHAT THE FUCK? HOW COULD YOU?”

Ava whines, “you don’t understand. I...I’m having your kid! You...You were mine first! We could be a family!”

Gwil scoffs, “BEN IS MY HUSBAND! I LOVE HIM! HE is the love of my life.”

“He’s not your husband anymore.”

Gwil’s jaw drops. His whole body feels hot, “that doesn’t mean you are going to be my wife! You do realize that. That was never going to be the case. How did you expect this to never come out? How was this going to end well to you?”

Ava’s voice is small, “come home.”

“No. I can’t talk to you right now.” Gwil hangs up. He paces around the living room spot of Ben’s studio.

Ben silently stands and walks to the refrigerator. He gets out the pitcher of water. He pours two glasses. He slowly approaches Gwil, holding one out to him.

Gwil nods once and takes the glass. He takes a large drink as he watches Ben walk back to the loveseat. 

Ben sits down and pats the spot next to him.

Gwil tries not to smile too big.

Ben licks his lips, “if there’s going to be anything between us. Well, I don’t know what you want, but I don’t want you living with someone that actively interfered with our relationship.

Gwil nods, “I understand. I do want…” Gwil sighs and smiles, “I just want my husband back.”

Ben softly smiles, “I want something.”

Gwil quickly answers, “anything. Just say what.”

Ben laughs lightly, “no. Not something specific. I just want something. With you. I don’t know what though.”

Gwil turns to sit sideways on the couch, “maybe I could stay a little longer. We can talk about it more. If you want.”

Ben nods quickly, “yes, please. We definitely need to talk more.”

Gwil smiles. He starts to well up. He wipes the corner of his eye, “sorry. I just didn’t think I’d get this lucky.” He sniffles, “I thought I’d be saying goodbye to you today.”

Ben smiles, “I thought the same thing.” Ben looks at his lap and sighs, “I don’t know what to think about the kid thing.”

Gwil closes his eyes and nods, “I know. I love you so much, Ben. Of course I do. I know because of that I don’t deserve you anymore. You don’t deserve all that baggage. You don’t want kids.”

Ben puts his hand on Gwil’s knee, “that’s not it.”

Gwil looks up at him, “no?”

Ben tilts his head and softly smiles, “I love you too. I’m not sure I’m ready for kids. I’m not against them though. I don’t know what to think about you having a kid with _her._ I’d almost rather you have cheated on me with some random woman that was having your kid who didn’t do anything to take you from me.”

“I understand.” He puts his hand on Ben’s, rubbing his thumb over Ben’s knuckles. He sighs, “I can’t pick between you and my kid.” He takes his hand back.

Ben reaches out and takes Gwil’s hand in both of his, “I’m not asking you to. God, Gwil. I’m upset, not cruel. I just need time to think or adjust to it.”

Gwil half smiles, “yeah?”

Ben nods, “yeah.”

Gwil feels incredibly relieved, “when I first found out, I booked a trip to come tell you. I told A… her. I told her it wasn’t just me. It wasn’t just my decision. I would still like to discuss how we move forward. I can’t not be involved. I don’t know what I want that to look like now with the new information I have. I want to decide with you though. I know it wouldn’t be right away, but I want you to be my future too. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I’d like you to decide with me though.”

Ben smiles, “I want you to be my future, too. Still.” Ben lets go of Gwil’s hand, “do you want to stay for dinner? Order in?”

Gwil grins, “I’d like that. I can cook.”

Ben scoffs, “there’s not enough food here for that. Unless cooking includes warming up pizza.”

Gwil laughs, ‘that’s fine.” He nudges Ben’s leg with his knee, “we can talk more, yeah?”

Ben bites his lip and smiles, “yeah. I’ve...I’ve missed you, Gwil.”

“I’ve missed you, too. So much. I’ve been rather pathetic without you actually.” Gwil smiles.

Ben is about to respond but Gwil’s phone rings. He assumes it’s going to be Ava. Gwil just ignores it. Then Ben’s phone rings. Ben picks it up and sees his solicitor's name. “Huh.” Ben looks at Gwil, “it’s my solicitor. I’m just…” Ben picks up the phone and stands up. 

“Hello? This is Ben.” He starts pacing slightly, unsure what he could want.

“Hello Mr. Jones, this is Harold Richards. We’ve got an issue. We need you to come back. If you can’t now, we’ll need to schedule another time.”

Ben frowns, “what’s wrong?”

Harold sighs, “you autographed the document. We need your legal name.”

Ben laughs and covers his mouth. Gwil looks at him questionly. Ben just shakes his head.

“It’s not really funny Mr. Jones. Are you able to come back in? Ms. Davies is contacting Mr. Lee.”

Ben smiles at Gwil, “do you think we could wait?”

“Perhaps. It would be easier to just come back in now.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “I’m with Gwilym. Can I talk to him and call you back in a moment?”

“Oh!” The professionalism drops for a moment, “yes. That is fine.”

“Thank you. I’ll call you back.” Ben smiles again, “bye.”

Gwil stands. He waits for Ben to pull the phone away from his ear. When he does, he immediately asks, “what’s happening?” 

Ben grins, “you were wrong before.”

“Err…” Gwil knows he’s been wrong about a lot, “about what exactly?”

Ben laughs lightly at how confused Gwil looks. He can’t help smiling wide, “I’m still your husband.”

Gwil looks off to the side for a second, blinks rapidly, then looks back at Ben, “what?”

Ben licks his lips, “I signed Ben Hardy. Like a knob. It’s not legal.”

Gwil laughs, “we’re married still?”

Ben nods.

Gwil’s phone rings again, “that’s the best news I’ve ever heard.”

Ben smiles wide, “same here.”

Gwil sees his solicitor is calling. He shakes his phone looking at Ben, “I’m going to answer this.” 

Gwil just smiles as he’s told the same news as Ben. He looks at Ben, “I think we’d like to put it on hold. Or.” He swallows hard as he watches for Ben’s reaction, “Can I just withdraw my application?”

Ben just waits, watching Gwil. 

Gwil says thanks and hangs up the phone, “is that okay?”

Ben nods, “yeah! Of course it is.” Ben walks up to Gwil, “I don’t know how marriage like this will look for a while, but yes. We should stay married.”

Gwil smiles, “I’d love that.”

Ben takes a step closer to Gwil, “can I…” He slightly lifts his arms, “can I hug you?”

Gwil grins, “again. I’d love that.”

Ben rolls his eyes and walks up to Gwil, who now has his arms out. Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s waist, burying his face against Gwil’s chest.

Gwil holds Ben tightly against him, one hand on his shoulder and the other on the middle of his back. Gwil closes his eyes and rests his head against Ben. He feels more content that he has in months.

Ben just stays in Gwil’s arms. He’s a little surprised how, after everything, he still feels safe in his familiar embrace. 

After a bit, Gwil slowly slides his hand up to play with the back of Ben’s hair. 

Ben smiles, “if you do that too long, I’ll fall asleep.”

Gwil chuckles, “do you want to go to bed? I can leave.”

Ben pulls back, “do you not want to eat?”

Gwil thinks Ben looks a little hurt. He quickly cups his face, “of course I do. I just don’t want to keep you up.” Gwil lowers his hands to Ben’s arms.

Ben snorts, “it’s 4 pm.”

Gwil opens his mouth to say something but laughs first, “okay. I’m not keeping you up. If you want me here, I’m going to be here.”

Ben ducks his head a bit and smiles, “I want you here.”

Gwil smiles wide, “do you want pizza or do you want me to run out and get something to cook?” Gwil loses his smile, “Maybe I should go get my stuff. Find a place to stay.”

Ben frowns, “can you not? Not right now.” Ben drops his arms from Gwil’s waist, stepping further back from him. “I’d like if we can talk a little more about everything.” Ben bites his lip, “I also... This is selfish but I don’t want you to leave me and go back to her right now.”

Gwil steps up to Ben, lifting his hand to his cheek. “That’s not selfish, Ben. Even if it was, you can be selfish with me.”

Ben nods, “maybe we should make a list of the things we need to talk about.”

Gwil rubs his thumb over Ben’s cheek, “anything you want.”

Ben smiles a little, “don’t leave right now. Let’s do the pizza or take away.” 

“Sounds lovely.” Gwil smiles and drops his hand. He gets his phone out of his trouser pocket. He opens up the notes app, “I’ll make a list of the decisions we need to make.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “let’s just talk. I was joking about the list” He walks back over to the loveseat. Gwil follows behind and sits next to him. Ben shifts so he’s a little closer to Gwil, “when is the baby due?”

Gwil clears his throat, “June 13th.”

Ben just looks at his knees. Three months seems far away and also very close. “Do you know if they are… did you find out the gender?”

Gwil shakes his head, “no. Av...it didn’t matter to me.” Gwil looks over at Ben, speaking softly, “I’m sorry, Ben.”

Ben worries his lip with his teeth, “are you sure it’s yours?”

“Yes. Whenever you’re ready, I can show you the test results. There was initial paperwork. Then I asked for a test at 20 weeks.” Gwil wants to tell Ben he wasn’t going to give him up for a kid he didn’t know for sure was his. He doesn’t think Ben wants to hear that right now. He never wanted to give Ben up.

Ben looks over at Gwil, “you’re going to sign the birth certificate.”

“Is that a question?” Gwil thought he heard infection at the end.

Ben sighed, “not really. I know you want kids. I’m not going to tell you not to.” Ben waits a beat, “I may not be ready to do anything that involves seeing… the mum for a while.”

Gwil lifts Ben’s hand from the cushion, “I’ll do whatever I can to keep you from having to.”

Ben talks so quiet, it’s basically a whisper, “they’ll be half you. I want to meet them.”

Gwil smiles and matches Ben’s tone, “I’d love that.” 

Ben looks over at Gwil, head resting against the back of the loveseat, “I have an idea.”

Gwil lowers himself so he can sit back with his head level with Ben’s, “what is it?”

Ben swallows, “I’m not sure if we’re at the right spot in our careers to be too picky, but when I was filming 6 Underground, Ryan told me that he and Blake never film at the same time. That way they can keep their family together.” Ben takes a deep breath, “I think that could be a good idea for us. At least for a bit. I know I’m not the kids family. I don’t necessarily not trust you. I just think it would be good. If we can.”

Gwil looks at Ben, seeing all the pain in his expression caused by him. “I think that’s a great idea. Also, you are the kid's family. You’re my husband. I don’t know how all that would work but you’re as much of their family as you want to be. If you want some sort of legal documentation of that, I’ll get that for you. As for the trust thing, I want to earn that back. Or make sure you don’t question if you do or don’t in the future.” 

Ben nods, “do you trust me?” 

Gwil smiles softly, “I do.” Ben smiles the faintest bit. Gwil looks at the room a bit, “why’d you move?”

Ben looks away from him, “lease was up. There was too much you.”

Gwil hits Ben’s leg with the back of his hand, “wait, if you weren’t with anyone, why did the woman that moved in tell me you moved in with your boyfriend?”

Ben quickly looks at Gwil, “when did you...how did you talk to her?”

Gwil bites the inside of his lip, “I went to see you on our anniversary. Tell you the divorce was a mistake.”

Ben sits up, “you did?”

Gwil pushes himself up, “yeah, yeah. Then she said you were flirting with a guy and talking about how lovely your new place would be. It just solidified to me that you didn’t want to be with me. That you had someone new.”

Ben laughs louding, “I'm sorry for laughing. I really am. That was Andy though. Not gonna work out with him.”

Gwil chuckles, “but you get along so well.”

Ben smiles softly, “it’s a bit bruised, but my heart’s taken.”

Gwil’s eyes start fill with tears, happy ones for once, “yeah?”

Ben nods.

Gwil wants to kiss Ben. He doesn’t think they are quite there yet. He leans forward, rests his hand on the side of Ben’s neck, and presses his lips to Ben's forehead. He speaks against his skin, “thank you for giving me a second chance.” He kisses Ben’s forehead again.

Ben puts his hand on Gwil’s arm, “we’re both giving us a second chance. I didn’t fight for us when I got the papers. I’m sorry for that.”

Gwil moves his hand to Ben’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze, “we’ve both made mistakes. We can do better going forward.” Gwil slides his hand down Ben’s arm before pulling it back to his lap, “Ben?”

Ben smiles, “yes, Gwil?”

“Do you think I could take you on a date sometime? We never really did that.” Gwil holds his breath waiting for Ben’s response.

Ben bites his lip, “yeah. We can do that.”

Gwil grins, “yeah? Good.”

Ben smiles wide, “hey, Gwil?”

Gwil laughs, “yes, Ben?”

“Can we eat? I haven’t yet today.” Ben was too anxious to even think of eating anything this morning.

Gwil chuckles, “of course.” Gwil stands up and extends his hand to Ben. Ben smiles and lets Gwil help pull him up.

++++++++

  
  


Ben sits at the table, with his head resting on the hand propped up by his elbow, listening to Gwil tell him about the show he’d filmed while they were apart.

As they ate, they both went over their side of the story again. Gwil wanted to make sure both of them had clear ideas of what actually happened since they had both been led so astay. Gwil said he was going to look for a new place to live before Ben even asked him to start looking. Gwil pulled up his phone and they looked at a few places together, just as a start. Ben smiled to himself when Gwil started looking for places close to where Ben now lives. 

Ben called one of the makeup artists on his film he was working on to see if he knew if Molly got into his phone. He was mad and relieved to hear that Molly did block Gwil’s phone number. She thought Ben would run to her when they broke up. Ben was glad he picked the right person to call. The most gossipy person on set. Ben was relieved when Gwil wasn’t mad for being careless with his phone and allowing this to happen. 

They didn’t come to any conclusions about Ben’s involvement with Gwil’s kid but agreed they still have time for that. Gwil is more than okay with Ben easing into it. 

Ben feels a little bit better about his own actions when Gwil says he also shut almost everyone out. They decide they’ll call Joe and Rami to fill them in once they go on a date, or perhaps two. 

Ben tries to stifle a yawn. 

Gwil smiles, “is my story that boring?”

Ben shakes his head and stretches, “no.” He looks at the clock, “it’s just 11pm.”

“Oh!” Gwil didn’t realize it was already that late. He stands up, “I should really get going and find a hotel.”

“Gwil.” Ben says softly.

Gwil turns around from going to grab his jacket, “what?”

Ben hesitantly says, “you can stay here. At least for tonight.”

Gwil looks at the loveseat, “I can make that work.” He looks back to Ben, “are you sure?”

Ben nods, “but not if you sleep on the loveseat. You won’t fit. It’s still a king size bed.”

Gwil nods softly, “I don’t have anything to sleep in. Do you have shorts?”

Ben smiles, “since when do you sleep in more than your pants?”

Gwil shrugs, “I didn’t know if you’d be comfortable with that.”

Ben isn’t sure if he can see Gwil half naked and resist the urge to touch him, “are you comfortable with me wearing just my pants?”

“Yeah. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Gwil half smiles at Ben.

Ben gestures to the bathroom, “I’m going to brush my teeth.”

Gwil just sits down on the edge of the loveseat to wait for Ben to finish.

Ben is almost to the bathroom when he turns around. He waves Gwil towards him, “you can use my toothbrush.”

Gwil grins, “alright.” 

Gwil stands next to Ben, watching him as he brushes his teeth. 

Ben rinses it off when he’s done. He starts to hand it to Gwil, but pauses. He looks up to Gwil’s eyes, “you are the last person I kissed.”

Gwil smiles, “same here.”

Ben raises his eyebrows, “really?”

Gwil grimaces, “well, non professionally.”

Ben laughs, “that’s how I meant it too.” Ben leans in to whisper, “the professional one meant nothing. Terrible really.” He winks at Gwil and leaves him gaping back at him in the bathroom.

Ben is laying on his back when Gwil emerges from the bathroom. Gwil gives him a quick smile before he turns off the light in the kitchen area. Ben lights up his phone so Gwil can find his way to the bed. Gwil crawls in, laying on his side facing Ben. 

Ben smiles at him, “I didn’t think we’d be here again.”

Gwil sighs fondly, “me either.” 

Ben turns his phone light off, putting it on the stand next to the bed. He’s about to say good night but Gwil starts talking first. 

“Do you remember when we talked about getting a house?”

Ben turns onto his side to face Gwil. There’s a little light from the window, allowing him to see most of Gwil’s face, “course I do.”

Gwil takes a deep breath, “I’d like my kid to have a house. Garden to putter round in. I think I want to look now. Since I’m already looking for a place to live. I also want that house to be our house someday. Will you look at them with me?”

Ben lifts his hand to Gwil’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over the arch, “yes, I’d like that.”

Gwil smiles wide, “good. Whenever you’re ready to move in, of course.”

“That sounds nice.” Ben smiles, “nos da, Gwil.” Ben rubs Gwil’s cheekbone one more time before pulling his hand back. Ben turns back onto his back.

“Goodnight, Ben.” Gwil would love to pull Ben against him. He closes his eyes, smiling that he’ll most likely get to do that someday again.

Ben wakes up a few hours later, his chest feeling heavy. He opens his eyes and looks down to see it’s Gwil’s arm. He smiles and moves his head back to where it was. As his eyes adjust to the small amount of light, he sees Gwil’s face is barely centimeters away. Ben slightly pushes his head forward to kiss Gwil’s cheek.

Gwil stirs, “Ben?” Gwil looks at his arm, “oh sorry.” He starts to move his arm.

Ben grabs Gwil’s arm, “it’s fine. If you want.” He lays it down against his chest again.

Gwil bites the inside of his lip, not wanting to smile too hard, “you don’t want me to move?”

Ben shakes his head, “no. Please stay where you are, if you want.”

Gwil pulls Ben slightly closer, “alright?” 

Ben snuggles a little closer, getting a little more comfortable, “great.” 

Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek, “good. Goodnight.” Gwil closes his eyes again.

Ben whispers, “Gwil?”

Gwil smiles before opening his eyes again, “yes?”

Ben waits a moment, “I love you, Gwil.”

Gwil’s smile grows, “I love you too.” Gwil hesities for half a second, “husband.”

Ben smirks, “I know.”

Gwil chuckles, “I know, too.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Laminy for helping me when I couldn’t think of human names and coming up with Harold Richards!


	30. Chapter 30

Ben is having a lovely dream when it’s distrubed by a rattling noise. He realizes it’s his phone vibrating on the table next to the bed. He stretches to reach it. Gwil’s arm slides off his chest. Ben smiles at his sleeping form.

Ben whispers into the phone, “hey Andy.” His voice is scratchy.

“Are you alright? You know you said you wanted to be alone after, but where are you?”

Ben sharply inhales, “shit, man. Sorry. I forgot.” He told Andy he would get up to meet him for breakfast. He figured he’d want to stay in bed all day today crying over his failed marriage. He looks over at Gwil, who seems to still be asleep. He cups his hand over the phone to muffle his voice more, “err...Gwil is in my bed.”

Andy laughs hard, “that’s not how you get divorced.”

Ben smiles, “we aren’t divorced.” Gwil stretches and smiles at Ben. Ben looks at him and speaks in a soft voice, “hi.”

Andy stops laughing a bit, “what happened that you’re not divorced now?”

Ben watches Gwil rub his eyes, slightly distracted for a moment, “oh, well...everything I thought was wrong, pretty much.”

Andy feels conflicted, but not knowing the whole story yet he decides to be happy for his friend, “does this mean you aren’t eating breakfast with me?”

Ben grimaces, “I don’t think so. Gwil is going to get his stuff and move it...somewhere. I might help with that.”

Andy makes a surprised noise, “where is it? Why is he moving?”

Gwil speaks up, “you can tell him.”

Ben smiles lightly at Gwil, “it’s part of the long story, but he’s been staying with his ex. I asked him not to though.

“Need help?” Andy genuinely offers.

Ben’s jaw drops a little.

Andy keeps talking when Ben doesn’t respond, “get dressed. I’m coming over. With pastries.”

Ben scoffs, “we aren’t naked.”

“Aww I’m so proud of you,” Andy teases.

Gwil laughs, obviously having heard while Ben tells him to piss off.

Andy laughs again, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.” Ben hangs up and puts his phone back, then turns over to face Gwil, “good morning.”

Gwil smiles, “good morning. How’d you sleep?”

Ben stretches a bit, “good. You?”

Gwil nuzzles against the pillow a bit, “best I’ve slept in months.” 

Ben grins, “Andy’s bringing breakfast.”

Gwil smiles, “sounds great.” Gwil just looks at Ben next to him. He wants to pinch himself to check that he’s not dreaming. He smiles and moves a little closer to Ben. 

Ben picks up Gwil’s hand from the mattress and rolls so he’s laying with his back against Gwil’s chest and his arm draped over him.

Gwil pulls Ben tighter against him. He presses a kiss to Ben’s neck, “good morning.” He kisses Ben’s neck again then pauses, “I hope that’s okay.”

Ben taps his finger against his lips, “I’m not sure. You should try it one more time.”

Gwil chuckles under his breath and kisses Ben’s neck again.

Ben hums and closes his eyes, “yes. I’m good with it.” Ben is careful not to move his hips back against Gwil’s. He doesn’t want to bump any morning wood situation that might be there. Every time Gwil touches him, he feels like he’s on fire. He doesn’t think he could resist if he knew Gwil was hard. He also thinks it’s too soon for that. Ben talks low, “I reckon we have about 20 minutes till Andy gets here. So about 15 minutes of cuddling time.”

Gwil shifts so he’s a little more comfortable, “sounds lovely.” Gwil closes his eyes, deciding not to move until Ben does.

++++++++

Andy comes over with pastries. They sit at the table, eating them in slightly awkward silence. 

Gwil looks at Andy when he’s done eating, “thank you for offering to help. Are you ready?”

Andy nods and stands up. He looks at Ben when he also stands, “what are you doing? You don’t need to come.”

Gwil looks from Andy to Ben, “I agree. I don’t want to make you go over there. She should be at work. But still, I don’t want you to see anything...i don’t want you to have to go to the place I moved out of our place to.” Gwil looks down at his feet, feeling shameful. He clears his throat and looks up at Ben, relieved when Ben doesn’t look upset. “If she is there, I promised you I wouldn’t make you see her.”

Andy looks at Gwil. He’s not entirely sure what happened but appreciates this. He holds his hand out to Ben, “give me your keys.”

Ben doesn’t hand them over, “I’ll just stay in the car.”

Gwil walks over to him. He puts his hands gently on either side of Ben’s face, tilting it towards him to kiss his forehead, “we’ll be back.” 

Gwil holds his hand out for the keys and Ben hands them over right away. He hands them over to Andy.

As soon as they approach the car, Andy stops and looks at Gwil over the roof, “are you going to hurt him again?”

Gwil feels defensive for a moment but knows this reaction from Andy is well earned. His shoulders relax, “I didn’t mean to hurt him this time.”

Andy thinks for a few moments, “if Ben is giving you another chance, I will too. But only one.”

Gwil nods, “understood.”

Andy unlocks the door and gets in. He waits to start the car till Gwil’s inside, “Ben’s place is tiny. I’m not sure where you’re putting your stuff. Or how much you have, but I’ve got some space. Maybe a box or two could fit.”

Gwil looks over at him, surprised at the offer, “thanks. I’m not moving in with Ben. Not yet. I’ve got most of my stuff still in boxes. I’ll send them to my parents in a few days. My sister’s friend is a realtor. She’s going to look for places for me. Ben said I could stay for a couple days. I don’t want it to be more than that. I’ll go stay with my parents, maybe my brother that lives here in London. Then I could see Ben easier. I want things to go better this time. Not rush as much.”

Andy smiles, “good. Now, tell me the whole story so Ben doesn’t have to.”

Gwil chuckles, “fair. So from the beginning?”

Andy smiles, “sounds like a good place to start.”

++++++++

Gwil is about to knock, but Andy just lets them into Ben’s flat. Ben smiles and stands up from the love seat. He walks up to Andy to take one of the bags he’s carrying. He slides it under his bed for now. Gwil does the same with the one he has.

Gwil exhales and puts his hands on his hips, “so, Ben. What are you doing tomorrow?”

Ben looks at Andy quickly then to Gwil, “I thought we were going on a date?” Ben gives Andy a small, bashful smile.

Gwil grins, “before that? Sarah Simmons called. She has a house that an offer has been put in on but thinks is perfect. She wants to show me, us. She’s going to try and set up a couple others as well.”

Andy speaks up, “I heard in the car, it sounds great.”

Ben raises his eyebrows, “you think it sounds great?” Andy nods. Ben is curious what Gwil and Andy talked about this morning. He’s glad that Andy seems to be on board with Ben trying to work things out with Gwil. Ben smiles, “I’d love to see it.”

  
  


+++++++

Ben walks through the ground level of a house a few paces behind Gwil. He thinks it’s nice enough But nothing really jumps out at him. He can’t picture himself living there. He hears a noise and looks forward. Gwil is frowning and rubbing his head. There’s a beam in the ceiling that’s a little too low for Gwil. 

Ben tries not to laugh as he looks over his shoulder to Sarah, the realtor, “do you have anything that Gwil will fit in? He seems to be a little tall for this one.” 

Gwil rolls his eyes while smiling.

Sarah makes a face, “yeah. I didn’t think about that. I have two more I want to show you. I like the second a little bit more. Do you need to look around here anymore?”

Gwil pulls his hand from his head, “I don’t really want to have to remember to duck in my own home.”

Sarah laughs, “alright. Let’s go then.”

Gwil’s eyes widen as they approach the second house. It’s lovely enough. It also looks huge. He looks over at Ben, who gives him a small smile. Gwil nudges him with his shoulder.

Ben looks up at him, “I didn’t know we were looking at mansions”

Gwil laughs, “it does look a little large. It’s in the price range.” 

Ben mumbles, “I wonder what’s wrong with it then.” 

They walk around for a while. Ben walks up the stairs to the second floor. There are 3 bedrooms on this floor alone. There are more upstairs.

Sarah points at the one at the front of the house, “this one is great. There are already bunk beds built in.” She smirks, “you know if you ever get to that point. I’ll go downstairs and let you two look.”

Ben walks into one of the back bedrooms. It has clearly also been decorated for a child. Ben hears noise behind him and sees Gwil walk into the room. Ben points at the wallpaper, “how many kids are you planning on us having?”

Gwil just stares at Ben for a moment. He doesn’t sound annoyed. Gwil thinks he almost sounds curious, as if he just wants to know. Maybe he’s just teasing. Gwil shrugs, “it’s a nice house. The garden is lovely.” He takes a deep breath, “do you want…” he doesn’t know if he should refer to the kid Ava is pregnant with as theirs yet and ask how many more kids, “how many kids do you want eventually?”

Ben opens the wardrobe to look inside, “I don’t know. We could have one more. I liked having a brother.” He starts to walk out of the room. He waits in the door for Gwil to follow. He looks back for him. He notices tears in Gwil’s eyes. Ben holds his hand out to Gwil, “come one. Lets see if you’d fit in the showers.”

Gwil smiles as soon as they walk into the third house. He loves it already. He’s not sure if it’s because there aren't any decorations or furniture, but it’s easier for him to imagine what it could be like here. He loves the layout of the kitchen. He can see all the way to the garden in the back. He also likes that there is plenty of clearance for his head. He turns around to see Ben. His smile grows when he sees Ben is already smiling as he looks around. 

Sarah grins, “aright boys, you know the drill. Have a walk around. I’ll stay down here if you have any questions.”

Gwil nods, “thanks.”

Ben smiles at her, “thank you. I’m going to go look upstairs.” He looks at Gwil, “you want to join me?” 

Gwil looks at Ben, then out to the garden, “aaa… I was going to look out back.”

Ben takes Gwil’s hand, “let’s look there then.”

Gwil can immediately picture them out here. There’s a small tiled area they could put a table. There’s grass that would be good for a kid, or perhaps kids, to play in. They could even put in some boxes for plants. He just wants to stay out here and imagine their life. How it will be in a few years, when this is behind them more. 

Ben squeezes his hand, “you alright?”

Gwil’s welling up a bit. He looks at Ben and nods, “yeah. Yeah. I’m great.”

Ben squeezes his hand again, “you want to look inside?”

Gwil shakes his head, “I’d like to stay here a moment.” He wipes a tear from his eye.

Ben pushes up and kisses his cheek, “come find me when you’re ready.” Gwil softly nods so Ben.

Ben walks upstairs to the room that would be theirs, hovering in the doorway. He likes how much light it gets. He can see how he’d set up their room. He likes the wall color. The whole place has a good color scheme. It’s the first one he thinks looks like both his and Gwil’s taste. He goes into the bathroom. He smiles that there are two sinks. He can see them getting ready next to each other. There’s a tub and a shower. He listens to see if anyone is coming. He wants to get in the tub to see if he thinks they could both fit. He thinks it looks large enough. There’s enough clearance between the toilet and the tub that they could always switch it out if they don’t. He realizes Gwil hasn’t joined him yet. He goes to look for him. 

He stops at the top of the stairs. He pops into the small room opposite theirs. His first thought is “this could be the nursery.” He smiles to himself. He’s planning their life here. He’s planning their life with the kid. He turns to go downstairs. The first floor has two bedrooms and a shared bath. Perfect for those two kids he mentioned to Gwil at the last place. They could grow together here. Build the life they were starting before they both made stupid decisions. He doesn’t stop to look in the rooms for now, just continues back to the ground floor looking for Gwil. 

Gwil walks into the kitchen, brushing his hand over the countertop. He can see Ben and himself getting meals ready together. Or maybe him cooking while Ben sits at the counter. He doesn’t really need to look around. He already feels at home here. He walks to the stairs to find Ben. He wants to know what he thinks. 

He sees Ben at the top of the flight of stairs he’s at the bottom of and immediately breaks into a large smile. Ben looks really happy right now. He hasn’t seen this look on his face in months. Gwil thinks he may cry again. 

Ben quickly walks down the stairs, stops on the last one, and puts his hands on Gwil’s shoulders. He’s a tiny bit taller than Gwil right now. He loves how happy Gwil looks right now. He hooks his hands behind Gwil’s neck, “Do you like it?”

Gwil just nods and he takes in Ben’s face.

Ben smiles wider, “good. Me too.” He bites his lip. He wants this house. He wants the life they’d have here. He whispers, “I think this is it.” Gwil just nods again. Ben smiles, licks his lips, and leans down, tilting his head. He hovers for a moment before touching Gwil’s lips. They haven’t kissed yet. Ben could wait to see if they do on their date tonight but now feels right. 

Gwil tilts his head slightly and closes his eyes. Ben closes his and presses his lips against Gwil’s. He keeps them pressed there. Gwil lifts his hands to Ben’s hips. 

Ben edges closer to the front of the stair as he slides his hands over Gwil’s shoulders, holding him closer to him. Gwil moves his hands to Ben’s back, pressing him against him. Ben opens his mouth against Gwil’s kissing him again. Gwil softly moans against Ben’s mouth. 

After a moment, Ben pulls back. He rests his forehead against Gwil’s.

Gwil clears his throat, “wow.”

Ben laughs, “yeah. Wow.”

Gwil softly kisses Ben again. He smiles, “I love you, husband.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Gwil smiles wide, “Should I go tell Sarah we’ll take the house?”

Ben nods softly, “yes.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything isn’t obviously fixed now but these boys are going to work at it. 
> 
> They’ll go on their date next!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the evening after the last chapter. Definitely couldn’t skip over their first date!! (Of sorts)

Ben looks at himself in the mirror and changes back to the other shirt. He thinks it’s a little silly to be this concerned about a date with his husband but it still feels really important. Or maybe not. They did put in an offer on a house earlier. Ben fixes his hair a bit. Once he’s satisfied with how it’s laying, he opens the bathroom door. He doesn’t see Gwil. It’s not like there are a lot of places for him to hide. He frowns and goes to sit on the loveseat. Right as he sits there’s a knock on the door. He smiles thinking he knows who it is.

Gwil smiles wide when he opens the door, “hello, bach.”

Ben grins, “hi Gwil. I didn’t hear you sneak out.”

Gwil wiggles his eyebrows, “that was exactly my plan.” He brings one hand out from behind him and holds it out to Ben, “for you.”

Ben laughs when he sees the bottle of Coke Zero. He takes it from Gwil. It’s cold so he thinks Gwil must have snuck away to buy it while he was fussing over his appearance. Ben kisses Gwil on the cheek, “thank you. I love it.”

Gwil smiles and kisses Ben’s forehead, “I thought you might. Are you ready to go?”

Ben nods, “just need my trainers.” Ben opens the coke, takes a quick drink, and puts the rest in the fridge.

Gwil holds onto the back of one of the chairs at the table. He takes a deep breath, “I need to tell you something first.” Gwil pulls out the chair.

Ben looks at him wearily, “alright?” He walks over to the table and sits in the chair opposite the one Gwil just pulled out.

Gwil sits down. He folds his hands on the table, “I should have said earlier but I’ve got the money for the house.”

Ben frowns slightly, “you don’t want to buy it together?”

Gwil puts a hand out closer to Ben, “don’t get me wrong. I want both of our names on it.” He slides his hand back towards himself, “I just have the money to pay it off.”

Ben knew he’d done well recently. They could afford the house together but he didn’t think Gwil had that much saved. Ben scratches the back of his head, “I didn’t realize you’d saved that much. I...I thought I’d contribute some.”

Gwil chews on the inside of his lip, “I didn’t exactly save it. It’s a settlement. From...the wrong sample being used. Mine, instead of the random donor.”

”Oh!” Ben’s a little speechless. “I didn’t know. So, you’d just pay for all of it? What about the kids' future?”

Gwil smiles softly. He loves that Ben is already thinking about that, “there’d be a bit for that too. We could invest it for them. But we should discuss it. We can just buy the house, if you want.”

Ben smiles, “can we talk about it tomorrow? After our date?”

Gwil nods, “yes. Should we go?”

Ben stands up, “I still need shoes.”

Gwil chuckles, “of course. I’ll just wait here.”

++++++++

As They walk up from the underground station, Gwil slides his hand into Ben’s. Ben looks over and smiles.

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve got planned since you gave me zero information other than dress casual and be somewhat hungry.”

Gwil laughs, “it’s all the information you needed beforehand.”

They chat a bit as they walk down the street. Gwil lets go of Ben’s hand to get the door to the venue for him. It’s an indoor mini golf place with food from a few different food trucks. They have “caddies” that will get you drinks as you golf.

Ben looks up at the venue. He smirks at Gwil, “you thought it’d be a good idea for us to get competitive on our first date?”

Gwil pouts a little, “I thought it would be fun and no overly romantic pressure. Plus you said you wanted to come here last summer.”

Ben smiles that Gwil remembers that. He waits for Gwil to come through the door, “I hope you don’t mind that I’m going to win.” He winks at Gwil.

“Oh! I wouldn’t go that far.” Gwil teases back. He gestures towards the bar, “do you want a drink to start with?”

“Hmm.” Ben thinks, “oh! I remember reading this place has alcoholic milkshakes. I’ll start with that.”

Gwil puts his arm around Ben’s shoulders, “let’s go then.” 

They get their beverages and clubs. They start putting. Luckily neither of them are necessarily better than the other at the trick shots so it doesn’t get overly competitive. Instead, there’s just a lot of laughing and teasing. Gwil is happy with his choice. It’s like they are hanging out just as friends again. It’s just fun to be in each other’s company again.

Ben puts his shake down to putt on the 8th hole. It’s the second to last one. He’s a few swings behind Gwil. He thinks he could still win though. Ben leans forward to line up his shot. He takes a glance back at Gwil and his jaw drops.

“Are you checking out my arse?”

Gwil feels guilty for a second and then just shrugs, “it’s still very nice.”

Ben playfull rolls his eyes, “we’re in public, Gwil. Keep it together.” Ben swings. The ball goes up the little hill and barely makes it over the second one. It goes just past the hole and stops. Ben sighs dramatically. He looks back at Gwil, “your turn.”

Gwil puts his beer down by where Ben has just picked his up from. Gwil starts to line up his shot. He practices once then steps up to the ball.

Ben rolls his eyes at how serious Gwil is taking this. He smirks. He has an idea. Right as Gwil’s about to swing, he talks just loud enough for only Gwil to hear, “my arse does miss you.”

Gwil hits the ball far too hard. It launches off the first hill and over the rest of the hole. It bounces by the feet of the people waiting for the 9th hole. 

Ben holds his hand up to his mouth to cover how loudly he’s laughing. 

Gwil turns around looking a mixture of flustered, amusing, and exasperated.

Ben pulls his hand down, “you missed.”

Gwil steps up to him, making a low growling like noise. He shakes his head, trying not to laugh, “I’ll get you back for that.”

Ben smirks, “I look forward to it.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s forehead and goes to retrieve his ball.

Ben ends up winning by one stroke, mostly due to his distracting Gwil. They walk over to where all the food vendors are. Gwil is slightly pouting.

Ben chuckles, “oh, baby, what’s wrong?”

Gwil shakes his head, “I just would have liked a warning you were going to play dirty.”

Ben laughs, “maybe we can play again after we eat.”

Gwil smiles and reaches out for Ben’s hand, “sounds fun.” He leans over to whisper to Ben, “I’d love another chance to kick your arse.”

Ben licks his lips, “I much prefer when you kiss my arse.”

Gwil blushes and looks ahead. He doesn’t want to get too worked up thinking about that. They haven’t discussed anything physical happening between them again. It’s only been a few days. They just kissed again for the first time a few hours ago. Gwil thought maybe he’d get another kiss before saying goodnight. He’d love another chance to worship Ben’s body, show him how much he loves him. He’s just not sure if Ben is ready for that. Or if he’s ready.

Ben notices how quiet Gwil is. He tugs on his arm to lead them over to a semi isolated table. He sits down and pulls Gwil down next to him. He leans in close to talk as privately as they can, “I was just teasing Gwil...well, I do like that. As you know. I’m not saying we have to do that tonight or any time soon.”

Gwi leans in, touching his forehead to Ben’s, “I don’t want to rush and put this in jeopardy again.”

Ben licks his lips. He really wants to kiss Gwil right now. He’s so close. “I know. I don’t either. Just whenever it comes naturally. When we’re both feeling up to it, we’ll talk, and then have sex again.”

Gwil grins, “I think I could be UP for it whenever.”

Ben laughs and swats Gwil’s chest, “that’s not what I meant.”

Gwil grabs Ben’s hand and holds it against his chest, “I know.” Gwil swallows hard, “I’m not saying I didn’t miss the sex but it’s what I missed least of all.”

Ben nods, “same here.” 

Gwil pushes his head forward and catches Ben’s lips with his. “I look forward to you just coming home and telling me about your day.”

Ben smiles wide and kisses Gwil again, “that sounds wonderful.” Ben lifts his hand to Gwil’s cheek, “can we eat now?”

Gwil chuckles, “yes, dear husband. We can’t have you starve.”

Gwil gets some brisket nuggets with kimchi mayo and Ben goes to get some fish tacos and they meet back at their table. Gwil also gets them each a beer. They sit across from each other rather than next to each other. They eat for a while, sort of talking between bites. Ben takes a large bite and can feel the sauce smeared on his face. 

Gwil chuckles, “you’ve got a little.” He motions for Ben to lean closer to him. Ben does so and Gwil quickly leans forward to lick the corner of Ben’s mouth.

They both laugh when they sit back in their chairs.

Ben wipes the saliva off his mouth, “lovely. Thought you said there was nothing overly romantic?”

Gwil chuckles, “your tacos taste good.”

Ben playfull rolls his eyes, “do you want an actual bite?”

Gwil wipes his mouth with his napkin, “thank you, but I’m alright. Do you want more food? Another round? We could try the other course.”

Ben looks around, “I think I’m good. Unless you want to defend your pride with another round.”

Gwil shakes his head smiling, “my pride is fine. Do you want me to walk you home?

Ben bites his lip, “would you like to stay? Sleep over again? I’ve liked waking up to you the last two days.”

“Yeah.” Gwil nods quickly, “of course. I’ll just let Owain know I’m not going to be there.”

Ben looks down at the table, “what have you told him, or your family?” He lifts his head just enough to look at Gwil.

Gwil sighs, “just the highlights mostly. Not until recently though. I didn't tell them anything for a while. Just said we both made some mistakes. And now that we’re working on it. I never said that I thought you cheated on me. What about you? Do your parents hate me?”

Ben grimaces, “no. They don't. I told them it was my fault.”

Gwil put his hands on the table, facing up and open for Ben’s hands.

Ben sits forward and puts his hands in Gwil’s. Gwil brings them to his lips, kissing the fingers on both of Ben’s hands, “can we agree to no longer use the word fault? Or just focus on doing better instead of focusing on the past?”

Ben smiles and nods, “that sounds good. We did put in an offer on a house today.”

Gwil wiggles his eyebrows, “we did. Look at us being adults.”

Ben laughs, “let’s go.”

Gwil stands, “do you need anything else?”

Ben stands up and slides his hand into Gwil’s, “we should get popcorn. Watch a movie before bed.” They start to walk towards the exit

Gwil looks over at Ben, “do we need to get any other snacks?”

Ben shakes his head, “I’ve already got my coke zero. This handsome man gave it to me.”

Gwil smiles, “did he have anything else going for him?”

Ben tries to keep a straight face, “I think so. He also bought me a house. Seems kind of desperate.” Ben looks out of the corner of his eye for Gwil’s reaction.

Gwil’s shoulders start shaking as he tries to hold in his laughter, “maybe he’s just fond of you.”

Ben shrugs, “I’ll keep him around.”

Gwil fondly rolls his eyes, “so kind of you.”

“It’s a nice house.” Ben looks up at Gwil biting his lip.

Gwil laughs, “it is a nice house.” He leans over and kisses Ben’s temple. “You’re buying the furniture though.” 

Ben’s jaw drops in feined shock.

Gwil laughs, “you called me desperate.”

Ben pulls Gwil closer to him, grabbing onto his arm with his free hand to hold him closer, “I can do that.”

++++++++

Ben didn’t end up paying much attention to the movie. He focused on Gwil’s arm wrapped around his shoulder and playing with Gwil’s fingers instead. Every so often he would just look over at Gwil. He’s still a little surprised to see him in his flat. It’s a good surprise though. He would then pay attention to the movie because looking at Gwil for too long made him want to do certain things they agreed were probably moving too quickly.

When they stopped for snacks, they also picked up a toothbrush for Gwil to keep at Ben’s. Ben wants to tell Gwil just to stay with him until he moves into the house. But that’s also probably rushing back into fast. Ben really wants to though. He wants to make up for all the time they lost. He wants to spend as much time with Gwil as he can before the baby comes. 

That shouldn’t be too hard. Neither of them have any filming for a while. Ben has some ADR and Gwil has some promo stuff coming up. Ben thinks they’ll be able to spend most days with each other. 

Ben crawls into bed next to Gwil. The first night Gwil spent the night, Gwil ended up with his arm around Ben while they were sleeping. The second night they started talking as they were falling asleep. They each slowly moved closer to the other. Ben was about asleep when Gwil asked if they could cuddle. Ben readily agreed. Ben decides to just go for it tonight. He just moves towards Gwil and puts one leg over Gwil’s. Gwil puts his arm out for Ben to curl against his side. Ben puts one hand and his head on Gwil’s chest. He starts running his fingers over Gwil’s chest as Gwil trails his fingers up and down Ben’s arm. 

After a few minutes, Ben pushes up a bit to look at Gwil. Gwil just raises his eyebrows waiting for Ben to speak. Ben smiles a bit, “how come you didn’t look around the house more today? What if you don’t like it?”

Gwil cups Ben’s cheek, “I could picture us in just the ground floor… And it’s cheesy.”

Ben smiles, “I’ve never had an issue with that.”

Gwil rubs Ben’s cheekbone with his thumb, “I saw your face when you came downstairs.”

“Alright…” Ben waits for him to continue, not quite understanding yet.

Gwil takes a deep breath, “you… you looked like before. You looked happy. I could have seen absolutely none of the house and would have bought it knowing it made you look like that again.”

“Gwil…” Ben shifts and pushes up to kiss Gwil. He pulls back, “I saw that life too.”

Gwil smiles wide, “is that why you looked happy?” Gwil’s chest feels warm, and like his heart is swelling.

Ben smiles, “yes. Of course it is.”

Gwil sniffles as a happy tear slips from the outer corner of his eye. He hugs Ben, pulling him to lay flat on top of him. 

Ben nuzzles against Gwil. He moves his head so he can kiss Gwil’s neck.

Gwil hums, “I’m so happpy to have you back.”

Ben kisses his neck again, “I’m happy to have you back, too.”

“Good.” Gwil rubs his hands up and down Ben’s back. 

Ben settles against Gwil and shuts his eyes. 

Gwil notices Ben’s breathing slowing. He’s not sure if Ben is just very relaxed or falling asleep. Gwil moves his head to try and see Ben’s face, “are you going to sleep directly on top of me?”

“Maybe” Ben mumbles, making Gwil laugh. Ben lifts his head to look at Gwil, “is that alright?”

Gwil lifts his head just enough to give Ben a quick kiss, “I’ve missed touching you, so yeah. I’m good with it.”

Ben tilts his head and smirks, “are you just going to give me whatever I want from now on?”

Gwil shrugs, “probably.”

Ben laughs, “I want you to have what you want too.”

Gwil kisses Ben, softer and longer this time, “I already do.”

Ben smiles, “so cheesy.”

Gwil scrunches up his nose, “you said you didn’t have a problem with that.”

“I don’t ha…” 

Before Ben can finish his sentence Gwil rolls them over and it turns into a yelp.

Gwil settles on top of Ben and starts kissing all over his face. Ben cracks up. Gwil starts kissing down to Ben’s chest till he suddenly lays his head against it and closes his eyes, “I’ve decided I want to sleep on you.”

Ben laughs again, “alright, baby.” He cards his hand through Gwil’s hair and closes his eyes. It’s not exactly comfortable but he figures Gwil won’t stay there long enough to actually fall asleep.

A few minutes later, Ben is proved right. Gwil slides off to the side, “you’re too muscular for a pillow.”

Ben rolls his eyes. 

Gwil puts his chin on Ben’s shoulder, “care for a spoon?”

Ben laughs but also turns his back to Gwil while lifting his head enough for Gwil’s arm to go under it. 

Gwil settles behind Ben, “I had a wonderful time tonight.”

Ben moves a little closer to Gwil, “so did I. I love you, baby.” Ben can’t help smiling as he says it, happy that he still gets to say that to Gwil. Happy they are still married.

“I love you too, husband.” Gwil kisses behind Ben’s ear.

Since they are going for complete honesty now, Ben says what he’s thinking, “I’m so glad you’re still my husband.”

That swell of emotions hits Gwil again, “same here, Ben. Same here.” He flattens his hand on Ben’s chest and moves his lips to Ben’s ear, “I may be happier that you agreed to stay married to me than I was that you married me to begin with.”

Ben taps his chin, “I’d say they are tied.”

“Both great days.” Gwil kisses Ben’s neck then lays his head back against the pillow. He closes his eyes for just a moment when Ben speaks again.

“How about tomorrow I plan a date for us?”

Gwil smiles, “sounds perfect. Goodnight. Love you.”

Ben closes his eyes, “love you, too. Goodnight.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy their date! I thought it was fun!!
> 
> I can’t sleep so I edited my chapter.
> 
> Their date is a real place! It’s call Swingers! I got the idea based on a conversation with some people on discord. I couldn’t remember what humans did when we were allowed outside haha


	32. Chapter 32

Ben keeps his eyes closed under the spray of water as he blindly reaches for his body wash. He finds the bottle he thinks is correct and steps out from under the shower head. He looks down at the bottle and realizes it’s Gwil’s. He sighs fondly and exchanges it for his. He doesn’t need to smell like Gwil. He loves how Gwil smells but decides to leave that for him. 

Gwil has been staying with Ben for most of the last month. Slowly more and more things of Gwil’s have trickled into Ben’s flat. He really doesn’t mind though. He loves having him back in the same space. The new house isn’t theirs until a few more days. Gwil will move in there then. Ben will move in...at some point. They haven’t decided when yet.

It started because they would go on dates every Friday and Saturday nights, taking turns to plan them. It just made sense for Gwil to stay since he would be escorting Ben home anyways. He would leave Sunday evening to go to his brothers. The first week, he ended up coming back to sleep at Ben’s Friday night. The following week it was Thursday, then Wednesday the next. This week, Gwil ended up coming back to stay after just 24 hours. Gwil was texting his brother every evening to say he was staying at Ben’s. Ben laughed when Owain text Gwil just to let him know which nights he’d be at their house because there were less of those. Ben knows they are basically living together again but since Gwil has a place to go, he can tell himself they aren’t rushing again. 

Ben finishes showering, dries himself off, and wraps the towel around himself. He goes out into the rest of the flat, smiling when he sees Gwil sitting on his bed very focused on his laptop. Ben walks up as quietly as he can. When he reaches the end of the bed, Gwil looks up at smiles.

“Hello, lovely husband. All clean now?”

Ben nods and smiles, “yes. Although I almost ended up smelling like you.” Ben leans against the bed to see what Gwil is looking at. It’s furniture. 

Gwil puts the laptop on the nightstand and wraps his arm around Ben’s waist. Gwil pulls Ben towards him and inhales against Ben’s chest, “you still smell like you.” Gwil kisses along Ben’s chest before heading up towards Ben’s neck.

Ben puts his hand on the back of Gwil’s head and closes his eyes. They haven’t done more than kiss yet. Ben thinks he’s been half hard for about a month now. He is definitely ready for some more. They decided that once they felt ready to both move into the house, that would probably be about the time they’d be ready for sex too. Ben could really go for some below the belt action though. They are going to look at stuff for the new house today so it’s probably not the time. He cups Gwil’s face and leads it up towards his face. He kisses Gwil softly, “you ready to go?’

Gwil nods before kissing Ben again. Gwil shifts them both so Gwil is sitting on the edge of the bed with Ben between his legs. They keep kissing, quickly getting more heated. Gwil’s hands slide down Ben’s back. He’s about to reach down to cup Ben’s bum. Instead he pulls back and pats Ben’s hips, “yeah. Let’s go.”

They are both slightly out of breath. Ben laughs lightly at how flustered Gwil looks. Ben kisses Gwil’s forehead, “let’s go buy some flatware.” 

Gwil starts gathering things. He picks up his cellphone, “oh, I’ve just got an email.” He looks up at Ben, “you may have it too. From Harold Richards.” Gwil opens the email and quickly scans it, “our custody arrangement is being sent over. They’ll call us after it’s been discussed so we can come in to discuss any changes… that have been requested.” Gwil knows Ben has definitely warmed up to having a kid a lot sooner than he thought. Gwil still feels like protecting Ben from it all, mostly Ava. He tries to avoid mentioning her, and rarely by name. Harold Richards recommended a marriage counselor for them. They’ve gone twice. They spent their second session coming up with a custody agreement. They had discussed it beforehand but Gwil brought it up at the appointment to make sure Ben was completely okay with everything and that the arrangement would be fair to him. Their solicitor, formerly Ben’s divorce one, will meet with Ava to see if she agrees to it.

Ben smiles over, “just let me know when so I can make sure I’m free.” Ben points to his own hair, “you’re a little disheveled from our makeout.”

Gwil relaxes and exhales, “of course.” He lifts a hand to comb down his hair. He walks over to Ben, pulling him in against him, “thank you.”

Ben puts his hands on Gwil’s chest, “for what? Your hair?”

Gwil shakes his head, “you’ve been better about this child than I think anyone would expect of you.”

Ben moves his hands to the back of Gwil’s neck, “I want you. I want the life we’ve wanted since we got married. Since I fell in love with you. We hadn’t discussed kids yet, but I always assumed we’d have them eventually.” Ben plays with the back of Gwil’s hair, “if you had a kid when we met and you still had your personality, I still would have fallen in love with you. Maybe wouldn't have asked you to move in right away,” Ben smiles when Gwil laughs, “I’ve chosen to look at it the same way. I would have grown to love you and your kid in that situation. I’m going to do the same now. I love you already. I’m just lucky enough to know the kid from when they are born.”

Gwil leans in to kiss Ben. He tightens his arms around his hips, “You’re the best person I know.”

Ben smiles wide, “I’m going to remind you of this.”

Gwil chuckles and kisses him again, “you won’t need to.”

++++++++

  
  


Ben sighs as he picks up another fork, “these all look the same.”

Gwil chuckles, “they do.” He puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder and leans over to whisper, “they do look nicer than yours. No offense.” Gwil kisses Ben’s temple.

Ben scoffs, “I worked very hard to steal those forks during university.” 

Gwil silently laughs, “I know. I’m very proud of you.”

Ben playfully rolls his eyes. Without any malice behind it, he tells Gwil, “piss off.” 

Gwil grins, “do you want to look at plates instead? They have a wider variety.”

Ben looks over towards where the plates are. He sees another section in the distance. He bites his lip and turns around, “would you do me a favor?”

Gwil frowns slightly at the sudden question, “of course. What is it?”

“Promise me to stay here till I come back? Pick some silverware. I’m sure I’ll like whatever you pick. Just…just stay here. Don’t look around or wander till I come back?”

Gwil tilts his head looking at Ben. He thinks Ben looks very excited about something, though he has no idea what it could be. He narrows his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, “what are you up to?”

Ben steps in closer and presses up to kiss Gwil, “just trust me, please.” 

Gwil smiles, “I do.” He kisses Ben again, “I promise to stay here.” He gestures to the display, “staring at forks and spoons while you go be mysterious.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s cheek, “don’t forget knives.” He pats Gwil’s cheek and starts to walk off. He looks over his shoulder at Gwil. He’s still facing away from him, holding up two different forks, seemingly seeing which is heavier. Ben turns back around, smiling.

Gwil calls out, “if you're not looking at me, I’m keeping my promise and not looking.” Gwil really wants to see where Ben is going but stays looking away from him.

Ben laughs and looks over his shoulder, “love you, Gwil.”

Gwil smiles and calls back, “love you too, husband.”

Ben slowly walks towards the jewelry. He didn’t think about it when they decided to come here, but this is where he saw the ring he thought looked like Gwil. He doesn’t normally buy into this sort of thing but he feels like if it’s still there, it’s a sign. He doesn’t see anyone working at the counter. That is a bit of a comfort. If it’s not there, he can just walk back to Gwil without anyone questioning him. 

He can see the display. He takes a deep breath and steps up to the counter. He can vividly remember the last time he was here. How painful it was. How much it hurt for Owain to call him brother. How he cried in the bathroom after thinking he may not be able to stop. 

Instead he smiles immediately this time. The ring is still here, right in the center. Like it was waiting for them. He looks around and sees a dark hair woman standing behind the counter by the women’s jewelry, organizing some small boxes. He’s about to go over to her when she looks up.

“Could I help you, sir?”

Ben nods, “yeah. I’d like to get one of these rings.”

“Of course. Let me just grab the keys.” She turns around, digs through a drawer for a moment, then walks over to the counter Ben is at. She puts in the key in the cabinet, “which one?”

Ben points, “right there in the middle, the gold one with the spaced out ridges.”

She smiles, “very nice.” She gets out the ring and hands it over to Ben.

Ben looks at the ring. He loves the texture of it. He thinks it looks even more like Gwil close up. He can picture it on his finger so easily. His cheeks start to hurt from smiling at it.

She looks in a book behind her, “I believe this is our last one. It’s a size W. We can always size but do you know what size you need?”

Ben makes a face, “I don’t. I did. I don’t remember. It was a W or maybe an X.”

She smiles politely, “that’s perfectly fine. We can always size it after you give it to him.” 

Ben frowns, “I’d like it to be ready.” Ben thinks for a few moments, “Do you think you could hold it, or this is odd. Are there any men around who’s hands I could look at?” Ben really hopes that’s not too weird. He knows Gwil’s are slightly more slender than his own. 

The lady, Nora according to her name tag, looks like she’s going to laugh for a second but holds it in. She looks behind Ben, “actually my friend Jack is in shoes today. He’d help.” She takes the ring back from Ben, puts it in the display, and locks it again, “I’ll be just a moment.”

She comes back with Jack. Ben immediately looks at his hands but feels slightly weird about that. He looks up at the man and smiles as he extends his hand, “hi, I’m Ben.”

“Jack. I hear you need some help.”

“Err...yeah.” Ben watches as Nora gets the ring back out, “I’m buying a ring for my husband. I think he wears a W but am doubting myself.”

Jack looks surprised, “husband? I thought maybe you were proposing.”

Ben screws up this face, “I am. I will.” He scratches the back of his head, “it’s a long story.”

Jack laughs lightly, “you do you, mate. How can I help?” He holds up his hands, “do they look similarly sized to your husbands?”

Ben looks at his hands. They do seem to be similar. Ben looks back towards where he knows Gwil is. He wonders if he should go ask, or just bring Gwil over. Ben wants it to be a surprise, whenever it is he gives it to Gwil. He looks back at Jack, “is it too weird to ask if I can hold your hand? See if it feels the same.”

Jack chuckles, “not too weird. Makes sense.” He holds his left hand out to Ben.

Ben moves so he’s standing with Jack on his right. He shakes his head, “really hope my husband keeps his promise and doesn’t come over. He’s over in housewares.” 

Both Nora and Jack instantly look over to the department.

He slides his hand into Jack’s. He doesn’t feel the familiar comfort of Gwil’s hand, the texture is different, but the size of the fingers between Ben’s feels correct. Ben takes his hand back, “I think it’s right. What ring size are you?”

“W. Do you want me to try it on?”

Ben nods, “yes, please. If you don’t mind.”

Jack grins, “we just held hands. Think I can do this too.”

Ben laughs, “right.”

Jack slides on the ring easily. He twists it a few times to see how it fits. He smiles at Ben, “feels perfect.” He takes the ring and hands it to Ben.

Ben looks at it one more time before handing it to Nora, “I’ll take it.”

Nora starts packaging up the ring as Ben looks to see if he can see Gwil.

Ben turns back to her, “could I buy it now and come back and get it?”

Nora nods, “of course. Don’t want to give away the surprise.” She bends down and then comes back with two different velvet boxes, “which color?”

Ben points to her left hand, “the blue one.”

Ben can see Gwil. He’s looking at a set of knives with two boxes tucked under his arm. Ben steps up beside him, “hey, baby.”

Gwil looks over at Ben and smiles, “you look happy.”

Ben nods gently, “I am.” 

Gwil smiles wider, “do I get any clues why?”

Ben shakes his head, trying to look innocent.

Gwil sighs, “alright.” 

Ben laughs, “thank you for being patient. You’ll find out someday. Possibly soon.”

Gwil raises both eyebrows, “well alright.” He smiles, very curious what Ben got up to. He just holds up the silverware instead, “which do you like?”

Ben points to the ones on the right, “those.”

“Good, me too. You ready to look at plates or do you have more mysterious shopping?” Gwil grins at Ben.

“Nope.” Ben pops the p. “Let’s get some plates.”

++++++++

Gwil pushes the wardrobe door open wider with his hip. He hangs up his clothes on one side. He doesn’t want to take over the whole thing since Ben’s clothes will eventually join his. 

Rhiannon knocks on the frame of the bedroom door, “Gwil, I’m off to the market. Any requests?”

Gwil steps out of the wardrobe, “do you have my list still?” Rhiannon holds up a piece of paper. “I’m good then. Did you ask Ben?”

Rhiannon smiles, “I did earlier. Would you like me to ask again?”

“Yes, please.” Gwil shuts the wardrobe.

Rhiannon steps in the room and talks low, “you know he’ll stay around even if you don’t have his favorite crisps.”

Gwil shrugs, “yeah, but why risk it.”

Rhiannon scoffs and rolls her eyes.

Gwil sighs, “I just want to make him happy. Excited to be here, even if it’s about the little things.”

Rhiannon puts her hand on her brother’s shoulder, “he spent 20 minutes telling me about all the plans for the garden. He’s excited.”

Gwil loves hearing that. Ben has never given him any indication he wasn’t excited, but it’s still nice to hear. Gwil rubs the beginning of happy tears out of his eye. Hel clears his throat and gets his wallet out, “here. Take my card.”

Rhiannon holds her hand out, “if there’s a large purchase from anywhere else, it’s not me.”

Gwil rolls his eyes but hands the card over anyways.

Rhiannon calls out as she leaves the room, “don’t cry in your bedroom all day. There’s still plenty of boxes downstairs.”

Ben opens the freezer, hoping there’s ice.

Rhiannon looks over from where she’s putting plates away, “there’s coke zero in the fridge.”

Ben closes the freezer and opens the fridge, he grabs one of the cans, “how’d you know I like those.”

“Gwil asked me to get them.” Rhiannon keeps stacking plates, “they were at the top of the list he gave me.”

Ben bites his lip. He grabs a glass for some of the ice. The can is only slightly cold. 

Rhiannon stakes the last plate, “and I think we’re done down here.”

Ben looks around, “really?”

Rhiannon crosses her arms and smirks at Ben, “where’s your stuff Ben?”

Ben recognizes her facial expression from Gwil teasing him. He stammers a bit, “its...it will...I’ll move in.”

Rhiannon smiles, “I hope it’s soon.”

Ben looks at the ground, “me too.” He looks up at Rhiannon. He holds out her arms to Ben. He walks over to hug her.

She rubs Ben’s back, “I’m glad you’re still around.”

Ben closes his eyes, “me too.”

Rhiannon pulls back, “let’s go make sure they are setting that bed up correctly. I don’t think any of them are actually good with tools.”

Ben laughs, “they have other strengths.”

Rhiannon frowns, “I don’t want to hear any of my brother’s.”

Ben shakes his head, “I wasn’t thinking anything like that.”

Rhiannon and Ben go upstairs to join Gwil, her husband, and Owain.

++++++++

“Bye.” Ben waves to everyone leaving. He turns around as Gwil shuts the door behind them. He feels grimy from moving. He doesn’t want to sit on any of the furniture so he pushes himself up on the kitchen island. It’s easier to clean. 

Gwil sighs, exhausted from moving and unpacking all day. He turns around and sees Ben getting up on the counter. He walks over and stands between his legs. He puts his hands on Ben’s hips, “what would you like to do now? Go back to yours?”

Ben puts his arms over Gwil’s shoulders, “do you have shampoo? Soap?” Gwil nods. “Let’s stay here. I want to stay here with you the first night.”

“That sounds lovely.” Gwil kisses Ben softly, “ And I need a shower too.” 

Ben rests his head against Gwil’s. He speaks softly, “would you want to shower together?”

Gwil swallows hard, “yes.” He kisses Ben, pulling him slightly closer. “I’d like that. How...what kind of shower?”

Ben chuckles, “we should get clean.” He uses his heels to pull Gwil’s hips flush against him, “maybe clean each other.” He leans into whisper, “slowly.” Ben bites his lip and pulls back to watch Gwil’s reaction.

Gwil squeezes Ben’s hips, “are you sure you’re ready? Just for touching?”

Ben licks his lips, “more than ready.”

Gwil pulls his hands from Ben’s hips, lifting them to hold Ben’s face, “I love you.”

“I love you, too” Ben kisses Gwil, “let’s go.” 

Gwil holds his hand out to help Ben off the island. Ben pulls Gwil along as he walks quickly to the stairs. They both laugh when they both start practically running up the stairs. 

Gwil grabs for Ben’s hips when they reach the top. He turns him around and kisses him deeply. He holds Ben against himself, trying to kiss him best the can as they walk towards the bathroom. 

They break apart in the bathroom, quickly pulling off their own shirts. Gwil pauses with his thumbs tucked into his shorts before pushing them down, “Ben.”

Ben stops untying his joggers, “yeah?”

“I just want to ask again, you’re ready?”

Ben smiles fondly, “yes. I am ready. Bit nervous but ready. Are you? You didn’t say.”

Gwil closes the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Ben’s shoulders, “I am. Also a bit nervous.” 

Ben rubs Gwil’s back, “we can go slow.” He kisses Gwil’s chin. He moves his hands to Gwil’s waist. He loops his thumbs into both the shorts and Gwil’s boxers, “this alright?” Gwil nods. Ben slowly pushes them both down enough till they fall the final bit. Ben looks over Gwil’s body. He really wants all of Gwil. He looks up at Gwil’s face.

Gwil steps out of his pants. Gwil reaches out for the tie on Ben’s joggers, slowly untying them as he looks into Ben’s eyes. He considers lowering himself to take Ben into his mouth but wants to work up to touching him. He wants the anticipation to build more. He slides his under the waistband of both Ben’s joggers and boxer briefs. He rubs his hands over Ben’s bum before pushing the clothing down. Gwil gets on his knees to pull Ben’s legs from the clothing. Once Ben is fully naked, Gwil kisses his lower stomach. He looks up at Ben. He loves Ben more than ever. He’s so grateful that Ben is letting him back in.

Ben brings a hand to the side of Gwil’s face, rubbing his thumb over his cheek. If he wasn’t turned on before, he would be now. He thinks he could burst. Not just in a sexual way. The way Gwil is looking up at him makes him feel incredibly loved. He whispers, “let’s shower.”

Gwil nods and kisses up Ben’s body as he stands up. Gwil opens the shower door and turns on the water. He feels the water. He pulls his hand back quickly, it’s freezing. He laughs a bit, “we probably should have turned the water on first.”

Ben steps in anyways, shivering a bit under the water, “kiss me to keep me warm then.” 

Gwil makes a loud noise when he steps under the water. He closes the door behind him. Ben laughs and wraps his arms around Gwil’s waist. Gwil tilts Ben’s head up towards him and kisses him deeply. 

When the water feels warm on his back, he pulls back from Ben. He reaches for the washcloth and body wash. He squeezes some out onto the cloth. He steps back against Ben. He rubs the cloth over Ben’s back, working up a lather. He moves down over Ben’s bum. He gives it a couple quick pats, making Ben laugh, before moving to his legs. Gwil stands behind Ben. He leans down to kiss Ben’s neck as he rubs over Ben’s chest. 

Ben leans back against Gwil, moving his head to the side to give Gwil’s mouth better access. 

Gwil brings his other hand up to Ben’s chest, rubbing his thumb over Ben’s nipple. Gwil smiles at how Ben’s moan echoes a bit in the small space. Ben starts to lean back against him more so Gwil moves them both back so he’s supported by the shower wall. Gwil moves his mouth to the other side of Ben’s neck and the cloth down to Ben’s abs.

Ben can feel the soap and water fall against his cock. He wishes it was Gwil touching him. Gwil is taking his damn time cleaning him. He loves it. He also feels harder than he’s been in months. He pushes his hips back against Gwil. He can feel how hard Gwil is too. He shifts slightly causing the head of Gwil’s cock to slip between his cheeks. 

Ben whimpers, “Gwil, please.”

Gwil smiles against Ben’s skin, “what do you want?”

“Touch me please.” Ben moans as Gwil sucks hard on his neck, “I need it.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s shoulder, “I’ve missed how you sound.”

Ben shifts against Gwil again. Gwil’s cock rubs against his hole. Ben really wants to reach back and line Gwil up. He’s not prepped and that’s not what they discussed. He’s about to ask Gwil to fuck him when Gwil wraps his hand around Ben’s dick. 

Ben gasps, “yes.” Ben trusts into Gwil’s hand. 

“Mmm, there’s a good boy.” Gwil nips at Ben’s ear.

Ben almost forgot how sexy he finds Gwil’s sex voice. He pushes his hips back against Gwil’s again. He wants to feel his cock against him.

Gwil presses his free hand against Ben’s lower stomach, holding him against his cock as he jerks him faster. Gwil starts rutting against Ben in pace with his hand.

“God Gwil.” Ben whimpers, “I’m going to come soon.”

Gwil moans, “come for me, please.” He kisses Ben’s neck, “come in my hand.” Gwil moves his hand faster.

“Gwil.” Ben moans loudly then comes onto the shower floor. Gwil keeps his hand on him until Ben finishes.

Ben turns around. Gwil tries pulling him flush against him, but Ben leaves enough room so he can jerk Gwil as they kiss. After a minute or two, Gwil breaks the kiss and comes over Ben’s fingers.

Ben rests his head against Gwil’s chest. 

Gwil plays with Ben’s wet hair, “perfect first shower in the new house.” 

Ben sighs, “that...that was perfect.” Ben pushes up and kisses Gwil. 

Gwil smiles, “I love you.”

Ben kisses him again quickly, “I love you, too.”

  
  
  
  



	33. Chapter 33

Gwil blinks a few times. He sees Ben still asleep next to him. He smiles and closes his eyes. He’s not sure if he’ll fall back asleep but he doesn’t want to risk waking Ben up yet. They are meeting with the lawyer later to go over the custody agreement. He knows Ben has been worried about it. Gwil has as well, but he can tell Ben is worrying about it a lot more in the last few days. Before they fell asleep Ben told Gwil he was worried that Ava would try and do something in an attempt to get Gwil back. Gwil thought it was because Ben was worried Gwil would leave him for her. He was pleasantly surprised when Ben said he didn’t want her behavior making things difficult on the kid. Gwil likes that Ben is already thinking about things like that. Gwil smiles and opens his eyes when he hears grumbling next to him.

Ben rolls over to face him. He rubs one of his eyes, “morning.”

Gwil pushes forward and kisses Ben, “good morning, husband.”

Ben stretches and groans, “why did it come so early?”

Gwil laughs, “you can go back to sleep for a bit.” Gwil slides his arm over Ben’s hips and moves up against Ben’s side.

Ben’s head lolls to the side, “we should get up. Eat. Have some caffeine.”

“Can’t” Gwil puts one leg over Ben’s, “I’m busy.”

Ben laughs, “with what?”

Gwil nuzzles into Ben’s neck, “cuddling my hot husband.”

Ben rolls his eyes, smiling, “alright then.”

Gwil moves his head so he can look at Ben, “are you sure about everything for later? You didn’t leave anything out that you want?” Being able to switch his focus to having a kid was the only thing that was getting Gwil through losing Ben. He doesn’t want Ben to settle for anything now that they’re back together.

Ben rolls onto his side, “she said she didn’t do it on purpose. Getting pregnant with your kid. All that was verified. You actually spoke with the doctor?”

Gwil nods, “I did, yeah.”

Ben cups Gwil’s face, “did you leave anything out you want because you don't want to upset me?”

“Of course not.”

Ben smiles slightly, “then we’re good.” A few weeks ago, Ava text messaged Gwil a very long apology and promised not to interfere with their relationship. She said she just wanted the best to the kid and them having three parents would be more people to love them. Ben doesn’t fully trust it. Gwil has made sure Ben is fully involved in all the decisions about the custody arrangement and appointments with the solicitor. Ben does trust Gwil.

Gwil smiles, “good.” Gwil wraps his arm around Ben’s waist and rolls onto his back, pulling Ben on top of him. Ben laughs loudly. Gwil squeezes Ben against him, “I just need a moment of cuddling. Then we’ll be perfect.” 

Ben kisses Gwil cheek, “alright then.” He settles against Gwil and closes his eyes.

++++++++

Ben shakes his leg as they wait in the lobby for their solicitor. Gwil reaches over and puts his hand on Ben’s knee. Ben stops fidgeting. 

Gwil looks over and smiles, “everything alright?”

Ben sighs, “just thinking about the last time I was here.”

Gwil frowns slightly. He leans over and kisses Ben’s cheek, “I love you.”

Ben smiles, “I love you, too.” He gives Gwil a quick peck, “this will be a much better visit.” He picks up Gwil’s hand off his knee and holds it, “I’ve got you now.”

Gwil grins, “you do have me. For as long as you want.”

Ben rubs his finger over Gwil’s ring finger. He looks down at it. He wonders what it will look like one he’s wearing the ring Ben got him. He looks up into Gwil’s eyes, “I’ll keep you around at least another week.”

Gwil laughs, “that’s good since we’re here entering a legal agreement over another human life together.”

Ben tries not to laugh, “maybe two weeks then.”

Gwil rolls eyes as he leans in to kiss Ben. He replies dryly, “thanks.” Gwil turns his head when he hears a cough to his right.

Harold Richards is standing in the open doorway to his office. “Please come in.” 

Ben stands and pulls Gwil up with him. They sit in the two chairs opposite Harold’s desk. 

Harold opens a file in front of him. He looks up at Ben and Gwil, “would either of you like to add anything before we get started?” Ben and Gwil look at each other then back to Harold. They both shake their heads. Harold smiles slightly, “very well. Let’s get started.”

“As you both know, I’ve met with Ms. Shaw. “ He frowns, “she has agreed to the child having the surname Lee, but she has not agreed to sign over full custody.”

Gwil knew this was very unlikely. He wanted to try any ways. He reaches out for Ben’s hand, “Did you offer to reimburse her for the medical costs of getting pregnant?”

Harold nods, “I did.”

Ben squeezes Gwil’s hand, “we knew that would happen. It’s alright.”

Gwil sighs a bit. He looks over at Ben, “I wanted that for you, for us.”

Ben gives him a soft smile, “I know.”

“I have the terms she has agreed to.” Harold regains their attention. Once they are both looking at him again, he starts, “Most importantly, Benjamin, Ben will receive legal parental responsibility. I will have that application ready to be signed alongside the birth certificate.”

Gwil looks over at Ben, smiling wide. This is the next best thing they could have gotten. Ben will have legal rights. Gwil’s smile grows when he sees that Ben looks happy about this as well.

“Custody will be 50/50, switching every week. This is to be revised as the child approaches school age. The new schedule will be approved by all three parents.” Harold looks direct at Ben when he says three parents. “Any deviations from this for special circumstances will also need to be approved by all three parties.”

“If Mr. Lee-Jones,” Harold clears his throat and corrects himself, “Gwilym Lee-Jones is away for filming, and the other Mr. Lee-Jones is along, the child may also go for the duration.”

Gwil interrupts, “I would like that amended so if either of us are away for work.”

Harold makes a note, “This will also be revisited once the child starts school.”

“Misters Lee-Jones can have the first three christmases. Ms. Shaw would like the first birthday.” Harold slightly changes his tone to a less stiff one, “I believe this was her attempt at an apology for, this.” He gestures between Gwil and Ben. He tone changes back, “After both of these celebrations, custody will switch each year.”

“Lastly, Ms. Shaw will not be in contact with Mr. Benjamin Lee-Jones, excluding extreme emergencies if Mr. Gwilym Lee-Jones cannot be reached.”

“She will also not speak ill of either Mr. Lee-Jones to the child. If this is discovered, she will be forfeiting her half of the custody.”

Ben’s jaw slightly drops. He looks over at Gwil, who looks unsurprised, “what?”

Gwil turns in his chair to face Ben, “I know she sent that long apologetic text and all, but I don’t trust her. I don’t want her turning the child against you, or me for any reason. I just don’t trust her.”

Ben puts his hand on Gwil’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss, “thank you.”

Gwil kisses Ben again, “of course. Anything for you.” Gwil remembers they are alone. He straightens back up and turns back towards Mr Richards, “sorry.”

Harold smiles, “it’s really alright. It’s nice seeing something like this for a change.”

Ben smiles sheepishly, “is it bad I sort of want her to talk shit about me now?”

Gwil laughs and looks at Ben, “no. But I still don’t want anyone talking ill about you.”

Harold waits for Gwil and Ben to stop looking at each other fondly before he asks, “is there anything else either of you would like to add?” They both shake their heads. “Then now I will get in contact with Ms. Shaw for her agreement to the one adjustment you requested. Once that is done, everyone will sign. Do you have any questions?”

Ben looks to Gwil, who is just shaking his head. He hesitates and then looks to Harold, “this can be completed in time for the due date? I don’t want Gwil worrying about it as that approaches.”

Harold smiles, “there should not be an issue with that.”

Ben relaxes, “good.”

Harold gives him a quick nod, “I shall contact you again once I’m ready for your signatures.” He stands and holds his hand out to them both.

Ben shakes his hand, waits for Gwil to, then holds his hand out for Gwil to hold. He smiles to himself as they leave the office. This went a lot better than he was expecting. He thinks that just maybe Ava isn’t as bad as he previously thought. He’s not going to say he’s ready to forgive her for keeping Gwil from him but he starts to feel a little bit better about her being the mom. If she’s willing to give Ben parental responsibility, perhaps she really has accepted that she has no chance with Gwil. He hopes they can all just give the kid a happy life.

++++++++

Ben comes out of the bathroom and sits on the bed beside Gwil. They are still in his flat. Gwil’s all moved in but they still somehow usually end up at Ben’s. Not that Ben minds, but he decides to tease Gwil about it.

He smirks at him, “you know, you have this big house to stay at.” 

Gwil snuggles against the pillow, “I like being with you better.” He looks up at Ben, “feels weird being in that house without you.”

Ben leans over to kiss Gwil, “that’s sweet.”

Gwil smiles, “I love you.”

Ben kisses him again softly, “love you, too.” 

Gwil yawns, “sleepy.”

Ben laughs lightly, “go to sleep.”

Gwil pulls the covers up over his shoulder, “are you going to lay down?”

Ben shrugs, “in a bit. I’m not quite tired enough to sleep.”

“Can we cuddle when you are?” Gwil yawns again.

Bem smiles, “I’ll curl up against you when I lay down.”

Gwil smiles back, “wake me if you need me to move to get comfortable.” 

Ben kisses Gwil’s forehead, “if you want.”

Gwil nods, “yes, please. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” 

Ben slowly opens the draw of the nightstand to get his laptop out. He opens his email and then a new browser tab. He wants to see if he can find the bike Gwil was telling him about at dinner. He’s been considering getting Gwil a bike for a while. Gwil mentioned wanting to get a new one when they first met. Ben was looking for one back in the fall before their break. Ben doesn’t like to think of it as a break up. 

Ben switches back to his email. He sharply inhales when he sees the one at the top. It's from the florist they had found last summer. The one he never canceled. One of many vendors he never canceled. He assumes that Gwil didn’t either since they want confirmation of floral varieties. He hasn’t asked Gwil about it yet. Canceling it seemed too sad. It made their separation seem too permanent. He was going to ask Andy to pretend to be him after the divorce was finalized. He switches back to his bike search.

He finds a local place. He could find what he wants online before going to see what the colors look like in person. He scrolls down the page. They have bikes for all ages. There’s even a link for trailers to pull babies behind the bike. He pictures them at the park, going for a bike ride, with the baby resting in the trailer. Ben softly says, “oh, our baby needs that.” 

Ben bites his lip, smiling to himself. “Our baby.” Ben likes that. He’s starting to feel like he’s going to be a parent. He’ll have responsibility for them. It makes him incredibly nervous but he’s also really excited. When he pictures their life now, the baby is there. He goes back to the other page to start searching for baby clothes.

++++++++

Ben cracks another egg into the pan. He’ll scramble eggs for him quickly before frying a couple for Gwil. They should be done about the time Gwil gets out of the shower after his run. He puts some bread into the toaster and turns back to the stove. 

Ben is putting the toast on the plate for Gwil right as he comes out of the bathroom.

Gwil smiles wide, sniffing, “this is a nice surprise. Smells lovely.” He walks over to Ben and kisses him. 

“Have a seat.” Ben puts the plate in front of Gwil. He pulls out his phone, “I found a cute baby outfit thing for our baby.” He hands the phone over.

Gwil’s eyebrows raise. He puts down his fork and reaches for the phone, “our baby?”

Ben nods, “yes. I saw a lot of cute shit last night. That’s my favorite though.” 

Gwil looks down at the phone to see a onesie covered in tiny yellow ducks. A smiles slowly grows on his face. He puts the phone down. “Did you stay up looking at clothes for the, our baby?”

Ben smiles and nods, “I found a few cribs I want to show you too.” Ben reaches into the drawer he usually keeps random things without a place for in. He pulls out a small blue box.

Gwil loves the idea of Ben staying up late searching for baby stuff. He looks down at the counter, “what’s that?”

Ben starts walking around to the side of the island Gwil is on, “I don’t think we should go to the market later.”

Gwil turns on his stool, “are we going to look at baby stuff?” He crosses his arms over his chest, “what are we going to eat? Just endless take away?”

Ben reaches to grab the box, sliding it closer to him. He leans against Gwil’s knees, “I think we should pack my stuff.”

Gwil grins, “and do what with it?”

Be runs his hand down Gwil’s bicep, “I never canceled our wedding?”

Gwil tilts his head, confused at this conversation that keeps jumping around, “you didn’t cancel the wedding?”

Ben smiles, “I think I found some good invitations last night.”

Gwil chuckles, “can you actually hear me?”

Ben opens the box, “Gwilym Lee-Jones, will you marry me? Again? At our already planned wedding?”

Gwil looks between Ben and the box a few times, settling back on Ben’s face, “you have a ring. You’ve thought about this?”

Ben smiles, “I have.”

Gwil smiles wide. He nods, “yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course I will.” 

Ben cups Gwil’s face and kisses him hard. 

Gwil pulls back. His cheeks hurt from smiling, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Ben kisses Gwil again.

Gwil spreads his legs, wraps his arms around Ben’s waist, and pulls him in closer, “so our wedding isn’t canceled?”

Ben bites his lip and shakes his head, “not unless you canceled any of it.”

Gwil pushes some hair off Ben’s forehead, “I didn’t. Why didn’t you?”

Ben swallows hard, “losing the deposits sounded better than calling and canceling. I was going to make Andy do it eventually.” He leans forward, gently pressing his lips to Gwil’s, “I kept putting off telling you when we got back together. I think I thought it would be too much pressure.”

Gwil tights his arms around Ben, “are you asking me now because you don’t want to make phone calls?”

Ben pulls back from Gwil, “not at all.”

Gwil pull Ben back in, “I just wanted to make sure.”

Ben leans against Gwil, letting him take some of his weight, “do you want to get married this summer or wait?”

“Do you think it’s rushing?”

Ben shakes his head, “seems right.”

Gwil grins, “then are you going to put this ring on my finger?”

Ben laughs and pulls his arms back from Gwil’s shoulders. He pulls the ring from the box. He grabs Gwil’s hand. He’s about to slide the ring on and pauses. He looks up at Gwil, “I need to tell you something about when I bought this.”

Gwil frowns slightly. He wonders if Ben bought it right before they were apart or something, “what is it?”

Ben screws up his face, “I held a man’s hand to see if it was the same size as yours. I couldn’t remember for sure what size you wore.”

Gwil laughs. He cups Ben’s face, “that’s fine, bach. I appreciate the effort.” He kisses Ben.

Ben pulls Gwil’s hand from his cheek. He slides the ring on and looks at it for a minute. There was a long time he didn’t think they’d get here. He’s so thankful they did. He wipes a tear from his eye and looks up at Gwil. 

Gwil kisses Ben softly, “I love it. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, “I first saw the ring when we were apart. It was still at the shop when we bought our plates.”

“So that’s what you were doing.” Ben nods. Gwil kisses him, “it was waiting for us.”

Ben smiles wide, “that’s what I thought too.” Ben tilts his head and kisses Gwil. He runs his hand into the hair on the back of Gwil’s head. He licks into Gwil’s mouth and deepens the kiss.

Gwil moans against Ben’s mouth and grips Ben’s hips. He slides his hands under Ben’s shirt and up against his bare back.

Ben pulls back just enough to talk, “wanna go back to bed?”

Gwil licks his lips, “what do you want?”

“You.” Ben steps back from Gwil and pulls him off the stool.

Gwil stops walking, “no Ben, what do you want to do?”

“I want all of you.” He steps up to Gwil, pushing up on his toes to put his arms over his shoulders again, “I’m ready if you are.”

“I am.” Gwil slides his hands down the back of Ben’s legs. Ben jumps just enough for Gwil to pull his legs to his wiast. Ben locks his ankes behind Gwil’s back. He leans down to kiss Gwil as Gwil walks to the bed. 

Gwil gently lays Ben down on the bed. He hovers over him. Ben sits up enough to keep kissing Gwil as he reaches over Gwil’s back to pull at his shirt. Gwil breaks their kiss to finish pulling his own shirt off as Ben takes his off. Ben tosses his shirt to the side and reaches for the nightstand to grab some lube. He leaves it on the bed next to them. 

Gwil crawls over Ben again and lays down on him. He starts kissing Ben’s neck. Ben closes his eyes, moving his head to give Gwil better access.

Ben softly moans, “Gwil.”

Gwil smiles against Ben’s skin. He starts kissing down Ben’s chest slowly. He presses kisses all over his chest before moving down to his abdomen. Ben is squirming under him by the time Gwil reaches his lower stomach.

Ben whines, “Gwil, please.” He spreads his legs wider.

Gwil licks a stripe along the edge Ben’s boxer briefs, “Can I take these off?”

“It’s about time.” Ben huffs.

Gwil chuckles, “so sorry, bach” he hooks his fingers under the band, “I’ll need to prep you slowly.” Gwil pulls down the briefs.

Ben nods quickly, “I know. I’ve just missed this.” 

Gwil slides off the side of the bed to take his boxers off. He settles back between Ben’s legs. He lowers his head. He kisses Ben’s inner thigh. He kisses again, higher up. Then a little higher.

Ben shifts his hips, “Gwil, please.”

Gwil kisses high enough that Ben can feel Gwil’s cheek brush against his balls. Gwil sucks on the skin. He removes his mouth and admires the red mark on the soft skin. 

Ben is about to beg Gwil to touch him when Gwil presses his mouth to Ben’s hole. He moans loudly, “yes.”

Gwil moans against Ben. He swirls his tongue around the opening before pressing it against him. Gwil works at Ben with his mouth for a bit before reaching for the lube. Just as he said he would, Gwil preps Ben slowly. By the time he’s worked up to three fingers, Ben is rubbing his heels against Gwil’s back.

Gwil keeps his fingers in Ben, but lifts his head to look at his face. Ben is rubbing a hand his chest slowly and moving his head against the pillow. Gwil smiles, “how do you want me?” 

Ben can’t answer at first because Gwil curls his fingers in him, “I want…ohhh that’s good...I want you on top of me.” 

Gwil kisses the top of Ben’s thigh, “I can do that.” Gwil removes his fingers. He opens the lube again. He squirts some into his palm. He leans over Ben as he slicks up his cock. He kisses Ben.

Ben gasps as Gwil rubs the head of his cock against him. Ben’s mouth hangs open as Gwil slowly starts to slide in.

Gwil props himself on his elbows as he bottoms out. He kisses Ben’s open mouth, “you okay?’

Ben nods, “yeah.” He swallows and shifts a little, “did your dick get bigger?”

Gwil chuckles, “I don’t think so.”

“Hmm,” Ben’s eyes flutter, “feels bigger.”’ 

Gwil pulls back slightly and pushes back in, making Ben moan softly. 

Ben wraps his legs around Gwil’s thighs and his arms around his back with his hands gripping his shoulders. They keep kissing at first. Gwil starts thrusting faster and Ben rolls his hips into them so Gwil hits deeper. Then they are just panting and moaning against the other’s mouth. 

Gwil feels a little dizzy. It feels so good to feel Ben wrapped around him again. He rests his head against Ben’s. He slows his hips slightly, closing his eyes tight, “Ben...you feel too good...I’m going to come soon.”

“Yes.” Ben whimpers at a particular well placed thrust, “come in me. I want to feel it.” Ben clenches around Gwil.

Gwil groans, “but...are you close?

Ben nods, his voice ragged, “yes. Come for me, Gwil.” Ben clenches around Gwil more.

Gwil picks his pace up more. After a few moments, he spills into Ben. He shifts his weight onto one elbow. He wraps his hand around Ben’s cock as he keeps pumping into him. 

Ben moans loudly as Gwil strokes him. Ben lifts his head to watch Gwil’s hand stroke him. He can feel the new ring against him. Ben gasps and comes over Gwil’s hand. 

Gwi slowly pulls out and falls onto the bed next to Ben. 

Ben rolls onto his side, runs his hand down Gwil’s chest, and smiles at him, “you need another shower.”

Gwil chuckles, “only if you join me.”

Ben closes his eyes, “I need a moment. I don’t know if my limbs will work right now.” He opens his eyes, “I missed that. Being close to you like that.”

Gwil holds Ben’s hand against his chest, “me too.” Gwil rolls onto his back. Ben moves to lay on his chest. Gwil kisses the top of Ben’s head, “I love being close to you like this too.”

Ben hums appreciatively, “same here.” Ben sits up a bit and looks around, “can we just take my clothes and hire movers for the rest?”

Gwil laughs, “if that’s what you really want.”

Ben pushes himself up the rest of the way and straddles Gwil. Gwil rubs his hands over Ben’s thighs. Ben leans down to whisper, “it’s just now that we’ve had sex once, I want more. I think we should go break in the new house.”

Gwil rubs his hands up and down Ben’s side, “we can do that.” He pats Ben’s hips, “let’s shower first.” 

Ben starts to get up but Gwil pulls him back down by the hips. Ben looks at Gwil expectantly.

Gwil smiles, “am I your husband and your fiance right now?”

Ben laughs, “I guess so.”

Gwil laughs loudly.

Ben waits for him to explain, “what?”

Gwil’s laughter dies down slightly, “Do you think it will be easier telling our parents this time?”

Ben groans and falls onto the bed, “I hope so.” 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The majority of this chapter takes place on June 13th 2020. I waited to make sure and publish it on the real June 13th 2020 because I'm a dork. Waiting also made it a better chapter so it's a win-win. I hope anyone that's made it this far enjoys the chapter.

Ben unlocks the front door of their house. He hears chatting in the front room. He wonders if Gwil’s parents got here early. They are coming to stay for a bit. The baby is due over the weekend. Ben toes off his shoes and follows the voices. He smiles when he sees Gwil and Andy sitting on the sofa. He didn’t know Andy was coming over today.

“Hey guys.” 

Gwil looks over his shoulder and smiles, “hello, husband.” 

Andy gives him a smile and wave.

Ben leans down and kisses Gwil. He walks towards the kitchen to get a drink, stopping to kiss the top of Andy’s head. Andy laughs loudly.

Gwil watches Ben walk, “how was the photoshoot?”

Ben nods, “great. Sadly they didn’t offer me any of the clothes. I really liked one of the jumpers.” Ben looks around. It’s a lot more green than when he left this morning, “what’s with all the plants?”

Gwil makes a bit of a face, “well, I went to get one for each guest bedroom. Make it look nice for the parents. Andy came with. I got more than planned. I should have waited for you.”

Andy bends his head back to look at Ben, “I may have encouraged it.”

Ben laughs lighty, “Well, they look nice. Anyone else need a drink?” They both shake their heads. Ben is going to sit on the chair but Gwil moves his legs so Ben can sit between them. “How’d you end up at the greenhouse together?”

Andy smiles, “are you jealous?”

Ben scoffs, “no.” Gwil bites his lip so he doesn't laugh. He doesn’t think Ben is actually jealous but his tone sure makes it sound like he is.

Andy does laugh, “I knew you were busy but I didn’t know if Gwil was. I text him to see if he wanted to get lunch. Gwil was going there afterwards and invited me along. He and I are best friends now.”

Gwil chimes in, “Andy is going to be my best man.”

“Whatever,” Ben fake pouts, “you can have the traitor.” They both laugh loudly.

Andy smacks Ben’s arm, “I stayed to ask if you guys needed any help with preparing for the baby.”

Ben looks to Gwil then to Andy, “I think we’re all set.” They’ve got the crib and a rocking chair in the room. They’ve left it neutral colors. They want to wait to meet their baby and get a feel for their personality before picking out more colorful decorations. 

Andy points to a poorly wrapped box on the coffee table, “if I say that present is yours, can we be friends again?”

Ben glares at him, “we’ll see.” Ben grabs the box and turns it over to unwrap it. He takes the paper off and turns it back over. He opens the box to find a onesie that reads “I have the two best dads.” Ben grins and moves the box to show Gwil. Ben puts his arm around Andy’s shoulder, pulls him closer, and kisses his temple, “thanks, Andy.”

Gwil looks around Ben, “yes, Andy. Thank you. It’s great.”

Andy smiles wide, “I’m glad you both like it. I also considered getting one that said something about having the world’s best uncle Andy.”

Gwil grins, “they probably need that too.”

Ben nods, “definitely.” He slaps Andy’s leg, “are you staying for dinner?”

Andy frowns slightly, “aren’t Gwil’s parents going to be here any moment? I was going to leave.”

Gwil looks around Ben again, “there’s no need for that. We’ve got space. I’m sure my parents would love to meet my best friend.”

Ben rolls his eyes.“Yeah,” He shakes Andy’s leg, “we got the outside table a few days ago. Did you see? There’s plenty of food.”

Gwil nods, “please stay.” Gwil leans in to whisper to Ben. Ben looks at him and nods. Gwil puts his arm around Ben, “we’d actually like to ask you something.”

“I can’t be a throuple. I’m not ready for kids.” Andy smiles wide.

Gwil laughs while Ben scoffs. Ben turns to Gwil, “you can ask.”

Gwil takes a deep breath, “would you want to be one of the godparents?”

Andy slowly smiles, “really?”

Ben nods, “‘course.”

Gwil smiles, “you’ve been so close with Ben for years. And recently, well, you supported him when I didn’t.” Gwil clears his throat, “you were also very accepting of me coming back into Ben’s life. We both want our baby to be surrounded by that.”

Andy gets a little choked up, “yeah. I’d like that. Thank you.”

Ben smiles, “really?”

Andy’s smile falters slightly, “do I have to take them to church?”

Gwil shakes his head, “no. Just be in their life.”

Andy smirks, “screw both of you guys, the baby is now my best friend.”

Ben laughs, “I can accept that.”

Gwil nods, “they’re very lucky.”

++++++++

Ben is having a lovely dream about laying on a beach when he hears a weird noise. He opens his eyes slightly. It’s still very dark out. It looks like there’s hardly any street lights on. He hears the noise again. He sits up a bit and can see some light on Gwil’s side of the bed. It’s his phone vibrating. It stops for a moment then immediately starts again.

Ben doesn’t think he can reach it since Gwil is laying in the middle of the bed and he has a leg over Ben’s. Ben nudges him, “Gwil.” Gwil makes a small noise, “Gwil, your phone. It seems urgent.” 

The phone stops ringing and like the last time, immediate starts again. 

Gwil groans, “what?”

Ben shakes his shoulder, “your phone.”

Gwil nuzzles against Ben, “I’ll call them back in the morning.”

Ben tries not to roll his eyes, “they’ve called at least three times.”

Gwil makes a noise like he’s half asleep again.

Ben sighs. He tries to gently push Gwil off of him. He leans over Gwil enough to see the phone. His heart starts racing when he sees the name. He talks loud this time, “GWIL! It’s Ava. What if it’s the baby?”

Gwil sits up and rubs his face, “the baby’s coming?”

Ben hands him his phone, “I don’t know. It is the due date.”

Gwil answers, “‘ello. Is everything okay?...REALLY? We’ll meet you there. Do you have a ride or need me to call a taxi? Alright. See you at hospital.”

Ben bounces a little on the bed, “is it time?”

Gwil is shaking, “her water broke. It’s time.”

Ben makes an excited noise, “go wake up your parents. I’ll call a taxi and my parents.”

Gwil quickly gets out of bed and rushes to put on some clothes as Ben gets his phone to call. Gwil almost trips putting on his trousers.

Ben sighs, “baby! Be careful. I mean I know we’re going to hospital, but be careful.” 

Gwil zippers his trousers, “sorry. I'm excited.”

Ben smiles, “me too.”

++++++++

Ben, Gwil, and Gwil’s parents make it to hospital right after Ava gets checked in. A volunteer takes them to the labor and delivery waiting room. Ben goes to sit down and is surprised when Gwil starts to sit down next to him.

Ben looks at him, “what are you doing?”

Gwil knits his brows together, “waiting?”

Ben smiles fondly at him, “no. Go in the room.”

Gwil shakes his head, ‘No.”

Ben sighs, “I know you. I know you want to see them be born. I’m good with it.” He leans forward and kisses Gwil, “go.”

Gwil just watches Ben’s face for a moment. He can tell Ben is being genuine, “alright. I’ll come out with any updates.”

A woman comes out of the patient area, “oh Gwil! You are here. Would you like to come back?”

Gwil gives Ben a slightly guilty look, “Hi, Ms Shaw.”

Ceiwen sits down on Ben’s other side and puts her hand on top of his that is resting on the arm of the chair.

Mrs Shaw gives a polite smile, “you must be Ben. If you want, you can come back as well. I’ve been sent to tell you.”

“Oh!” Ben wasn’t expecting this. He looks at Gwil, then back at Gwil’s parents. He answers softly, “no...maybe not.”

Ms Shaw nods once, “if you change your mind, the nurses will let you in.”

Gwil squeezes Ben’s hand, “are you sure you don’t mind if I go?” 

Ben smiles, “of course not. I told you to.”

Gwil smiles, “alright then.” He kisses Ben, “I’ll be back.” Gwil follows Ms. Shaw back into the patient area.

Tom sits down in the chair Gwil had been in. He puts his arm over the back of Ben’s chair. Ceiwen sits back in her chair, but keeps her hand on Ben’s. 

After a few moments of silence, Tom claps Ben on the shoulder, “I’m glad you’re still around Ben.”

Ben smiles, “thanks. Me too.” Ben takes a deep breath, “should I go in?”

Ceiwen pats his hand, “not if you don’t want to.”

Ben starts shaking his leg. He wants to ask Gwil what he thinks. He should have before he left. Ben looks at Ceiwen, “I..I’m ready for the kid. As much as you can be.” He looks down at the ground, “I haven’t met Ava. This doesn’t…” Ben just trails off.

Tom rubs Ben’s shoulder, “you don’t want to see her vagina the first time you meet her?”

Despite no one else being in the waiting room, Ceiwen reprimands her husband, “THOMAS!”

Tom gives her an innocent look, “what?”

Ben can’t help laughing a little, “no.” He chews on his lip, “but I also don’t want to regret not seeing my kid being born.”

“Oh Ben.” Ceiwen pulls Ben into a hug. She rubs his back, “If you want to go back there, I’ll walk with you. Don’t let the awkwardness of everything make you miss out on something like that. If you want to see your kid being born, you should.”

Ben sniffles, “alright. I’ll go.”

Tom stands up with them, “I’ll walk back too.”

They make their way back to the nurses station. She points out the correct room. Ben takes a deep breath. Tom pulls him into a tight hug, “this is very mature of you, son. You can come out at any time. We’ll be waiting for you.” Tom lets go of Ben.

Ceiwen steps up to hug Ben, “we’ll make sure your parents find us. I’ll call your mam and tell her where we are.”

Ben wipes a tear from his eye, “thank you, both.”

Ceiwen kisses his cheek and pulls him in for another hug. Tom wraps his arms around both of them. He kisses the top of Ben’s head. 

When they let go of him, Ben slowly cracks open the door. There’s a painful sounding noise coming from the room. Ben looks back at the Lee’s, slightly panicked.

Tom smiles, “all normal. We’ll be in the waiting room.”

Ben nods and goes into the room. 

Gwil is sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. He smiles wide when he sees Ben. He stands up, “Ben, bach. You came back.” He steps up and kisses Ben’s forehead.

Ben smiles a bit. He hasn’t looked at Ava yet. He saw Gwil before he had to. His whole body feels rigid. He doesn’t really know what to say.

A woman in scrubs talks before he has to, “I need to check how dilated you are now.”

Ava pulls her knees together, “wait.” She looks at Ben, “I need to say something first.”

Ben slowly looks over at her. Of course she’s pretty. Ben couldn’t really imagine Gwil with someone that wasn’t, but recently he’d been picturing a villain instead of the woman in front of him.

Ava wipes some sweat from her forehead, “I need to apologize in person before the baby comes.” Ava takes as deep of breath as she can, “Ben, I’m sure you hate me. You have every right to. I was horrid. I won’t be again. I promise. I know you have no reason to believe me. I don’t want my… no… our child to be around that kind of negativity.” She grimaces as another contraction starts. She talks through the pain the best she can, “maybe you can believe that Gwil wouldn’t have been with someone as cruel as I must seem. I don’t expect us to be friends and I don’t expect forgiveness but I’d like it if you didn’t hate me...eventually. I’m so sorry for everything.”

Ben just looks at her. He doesn’t know her. He can’t tell if this is genuine or an act. He looks at Gwil, who slightly smiles at him and slips his hand into Ben’s. 

Gwil leans in and whispers, “I love you no matter what.” He doesn’t want Ben to feel pressured into anything. He doesn’t think Ava has earned forgiveness yet. He thinks she’s made some good steps in that direction. He also appreciates that she’s let Ben come into the room. He loves that he’ll get to share more of this day with Ben. 

Ben looks back at Ava, “I’d like if..our kid...has as little negativity around them as possible.”

Ava nods, “thank you for coming back. I’m sorry. Again. And for the fact that I’ve made your kid being born a difficult situation to be around.”

Ben nods his head. He clears his throat, “thank you for letting me be in the room.”

Ava rubs her stomach and screws up her face. Another contraction starts. She squeezes her eyes shut, “I don’t think we’ll have to wait long.”

Gwil squeals and squeezes Ben’s hand, “the baby is coming.” He kisses Ben’s cheek.

Ben smiles at him, “I know.” 

  
  


“Okay Ava, just a few more big pushes. The baby is crowning.”

Gwil and Ben look at each other. Ben can’t describe how he feels. He’s never been this anxious and excited about something before. The birth has gone quickly. He’s not even sure if his parents have had time to get here. 

Gwil puts his arm around Ben’s shoulder and pulls him against him. He’s so much happier today than he thought it would be. He loves that Ben is at his side. They are going to get to watch their child come into the world together. 

There’s a high pitched cry. 

Gwil’s eyes instantly fill with tears. That’s his kid. He looks at Ben. 

A few tears fall onto Ben’s cheeks. He has a large smile on his face. He looks up at Gwil and somehow smiles wider. 

“Push one more time for the shoulders.”

Gwil and Ben step forward at the same time to see. Gwil can’t help laughing at how angry the baby looks. There’s a patch of light colored hair on the top of their head. He thinks of how they’re blond like Ben. 

Ava groans loudly as she pushes. She suddenly sighs and falls back against the bed as the doctor pulls the baby the rest of the way out. 

The doctor smiles up at them, “we have a girl.” The doctor hands the baby to a nurse to clean her off and swaddle. 

The nurse hands the baby to Ava.

Gwil hugs Ben. He kisses the top of his head, “a girl!”

Ben nuzzles against Gwil’s chest, “I know nothing about girls.”

Gwil laughs, “we’ll figure it out.” Gwil steps out of the hug but keeps his arm around Ben’s shoulder. 

Ava waits for one of them to look her way. “Do either of you want to hold her?”

Ben gestures for Gwil to go ahead. 

Gwil smiles and leans down to pick up his daughter. He holds her tightly against his chest, “hello, love. I’m your tad.” He looks up at Ben, “well, one of them.” Ben is looking down at the little girl. He gently rubs his finger over her cheek. Gwil’s never been happier in his entire life. He can currently see everything that matters most to him. His loving husband and wonderful daughter. Gwil looks down at her, “you are going to be so loved. You already are.”

Ben looks up. He pulls his hoodie over his hand and wipes some tears off Gwil’s cheeks. Gwil smiles, “thanks.” He makes an excited face when his daughter opens her eyes slightly, “hello there. Aren’t you just perfect?” Gwil looks at Ben, “do you want to hold her?”

Ben nods quickly, “yes.” 

Gwil gently puts the baby in Ben’s arms.

Ben just keeps smiling down at her, “she’s so tiny.” Ben makes his lips a circle to mirror the baby doing the same, “hi, sweetheart.”

A nurse comes back into the room, “could we please weigh and measure her?” Ben reluctantly hands her over. All three parents watch her leave the room.

Ava looks over to Gwil and Ben, “we need a name. I was thinking maybe something Welsh. If you want. It makes sense to me that since we all like Gwil.” She quickly corrects herself, “I don’t like him like that. But she can have a Welsh name like one of her dads. I’d like to be able to veto anything I don’t like, or possibly can’t pronounce.”

Gwil reaches Ben’s hand, “are you okay with that, Ben?”

Ben nods, “she’s part Welsh. Makes sense to me.” Ben quickly glances at Ava, “I’d also like something I can pronounce.”

Gwil scoffs, “It’s not that hard.”

Ben mumbles, “speak for yourself.” Ava laughs and Ben gives her a small smile. He’s pleasantly surprised how she’s been. He really appreciates that she apologized. He’s not ready to forgive it and he’ll never forget it. However, he believes her, just a tiny bit more, that she wants a positive environment for their daughter.

Gwil smiles suddenly, “Carys.”

Ben looks up at him, “what’s that? Carys?”

Gwil nods, “I liked the name when I was young.”

Ben smiles thinking about young Gwil thinking about baby names. Gwil finally has something he’s wanted for so long. Ben nods, “I like it.”

Gwil looks at Ava, “do you?”

“Yes, what’s it mean?” Ava looks up at them. 

Gwil smiles, “to love. Or beloved.” 

Ben smiles, “that’s wonderful.”

Ava nods, “I agree.” She smiles, “she will have a lot of love in her life.” She looks over at Ben, “Ben, do you have anything you want for the middle name?”

“Well...I looked at Welsh baby names once.” Gwil smiles at him, “I liked Enfys. It meant rainbow.”

Ava thinks, “Carys Enfys Lee. I like it.” Ava pauses, “I...I almost like Enfys Carys Lee better.”

Gwil says the name to himself. He smiles, “same here. Ben?”

Ben nods, “sounds nice.” Ben sighs happily. Their daughter, Enfys. He smiles. He named their daughter.

The nurse comes back in with Enfys. She smiles at them, “who wants to hold her?’ The nurse looks down at Enfys, “you’ve got so many choices.”

Ben smiles, “one of them. I’ll go tell your parents Gwil.”

Gwil smiles, “tell yours hello if they’re here.”

Ben nods and walks towards the door.

Ava calls out to him, “Ben?” Ben turns around, “I don’t know the rules for visitors, but your parents can come in. They’re grandparents too.”

Gwil looks between Ben and Ava. He smiles at Ben, “go get everyone if you can then.”

Ben stops by the nurse. He leans down and kisses Enfys’ forehead, “be right back sweetheart.”

++++++++

Gwil grabs Ben’s hand and they leave Ava’s hospital room to go find their parents. All the new grandparents got a chance to hold Enfys before going back out to the waiting room. Gwil and Ben each took another turn before leaving to give baby and mom some privacy to try eating. 

Gwil smiles when he sees his mam talking animatedly with Ben’s mum. Both his and Ben’s dad’s look tired. 

Ceiwen stops talking when she sees them approaching, “hello dears. We were just discussing dinner. What are your thoughts?”

Gwil looks at Ben, “are you hungry?” Neither of them really ate yet today. They’ve been at hospital since about 3 am. They really should be. Gwil’s nerves and adrenaline squelched any hunger. After Enfys was delivered, all he could focus on was holding her as much as he could.

Ben shrugs, “maybe? I might be soon.” Ben leaves in closer to Gwil, talking low, “I’m not ready to leave.”

Ben’s mum, Angela smiles, “how about we go get everything ready?”

Ceiwen nods, “we’ll text when it’s ready.”

Both Angela and Gwil respond at the same time, “Ben doesn’t text.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “I’m trying to get better at it.”

Tom laughs, “we can call when it’s almost ready.”

Angela stands up and pulls Ben into a hug, “give Enfys a kiss from me before you leave.”

Ben smiles at Gwil over his mum’s shoulder, “I will.”

They all say goodbye and the two sets of grandparents leave for Ben and Gwil’s house. Everyone will be staying there tonight.

When Ben and Gwil get home, they find all their parents sitting in the living room. Gwil’s mam has pulled out a crochet project.

She holds it up when they come in the door, “I couldn’t help myself. We stopped for some yarn on the way home.”

Gwil’s brow furrows, “what are you making?”

She smiles, “a rainbow blanket.”

Ben smiles wide, “I love it.”

“Good.” Ceiwen looks at Tom, “Tad stopped us from buying more rainbow items for her room. He thought we should let you guys decorate it that way if you want.”

Angela pulls out her phone, “I took pictures of what we saw though.”

Gwil bites his lip so he doesn’t laugh. They let her show them all the decorations they thought Enfys needed for her room before they sit down for dinner. 

++++++++

Ben can hear his mum chatting with Ceiwen on the first floor as he finishes washing the dishes. Gwil was helping but kept yawning so Ben kicked him out. Ben feels completely different than when he woke up. He knew their kid was coming soon. He didn’t know what it would feel like to actually meet her. All his priorities shifted. All that mattered was her happiness. Well, hers and Gwil’s. He cannot wait until they can bring her home. 

He adds the last glass to the drying rack, hangs up the towel, and goes upstairs. He says good night to their mums as he passes them. He’s about to turn left at the top of the stairs but sees Gwil sitting in the oversized armchair in Enfys’ room. He’s just sitting in there in the dark with his elbow propped on the armrest, head resting on his hand.

Ben kneels in front of him, resting his arms on Gwil’s thighs, “are you alright?”

“I’m…” Gwil sighs. “Today was wonderful, but I’m still sad.”

Ben moves to Gwil’s lap, wrapping his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, “what about?”

Gwil puts his arms around Ben. He looks at the empty crib, “she’s born. Our daughter was born today.” He looks at Ben, “but she’s not here.”

“I’m sorry.” Ben kisses Gwil’s forehead

Gwil closes his eyes for a moment, “I just miss her already.”

“I know.” Ben puts his finger under Gwil’s chin and tips Gwil’s face up towards him. “Do you want to be with Ava so you can be with Enfys all the time?”

“WHAT?” Gwil accidently yells, then makes a face, “no, never. I want to be with you.”’

“I…” Ben thinks of how he wants to say this, “I would understand.”

“I’m with you.” Gwil tightens his arms around Ben, “that’s never going to change. I want to be with you. Forever.” Gwil moves his left hand to show Ben his ring.

Ben sighs, “Now that she’s here, and I’ve seen you with her...I just don’t want to keep you from her.”

Gwil kisses Ben, “you aren’t. She’s your daughter, too. Do you not feel that?”

“No, I do. Of course I do. More than I thought I would. I’m already in love with her. I think I fell for her faster than I did for you.” Ben smirks a bit. As soon as he saw her, he was completely enamored with her. 

Gwil smiles, “I’m good with that.”

“I just don’t want…” Ben sighs, resting his forehead against Gwil, “I miss her soon much and I don’t want you to feel this way. You could see her all the time if it wasn’t for me.”

Gwil rests his hand on Ben’s face and kisses him, “I would be miserable without you. I’d be a terrible father to her. I need you by my side for everything. That includes missing our daughter.” Gwil kisses Ben again, “we should go to bed.”

“Yeah, you’re right. About all of it. Maybe not the terrible father part, but the rest. I would be miserable without both of you.” Ben smiles, “let’s go to bed. We can get up early and go back to see Enfys.”

Gwil smiles wide, “exactly my thoughts.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> She already has a designated best friend!!!
> 
> I went back and forth on the name. It was Carys for a while. I was searching for a middle name and then ended up liking Enfys better. It's pronounced En-viss.
> 
> Also, I spelled the name wrong the first time I publish this. I got the pronunciation in my head and spelling isn’t my strong suit. Darling Enfys deserves better


	35. Chapter 35

Ben pulls a blanket out of the dryer and rubs it against his face. He doesn’t see Gwil so he calls out for him.

Gwil quickly walks down the stairs, “yes, husband?” He sees what Ben is doing and laughs lightly, “what are you doing?”

Ben holds the blanket out to Gwil, “does this feel soft enough to you? I want Enfys to be comfortable.”

Gwil smiles, “let’s see.” He rubs it against his own face, “it feels very soft.”

Ben turns around and looks at the clock in the kitchen, “I guess I really don’t have time to wash it again.”

Gwil puts his hands on Ben’s shoulder as he leans down to kiss him, “it’s perfect.” He doesn’t have the heart to tell Ben it’s probably warm enough that they won’t need a blanket. They’ll just have her in the car for a short period of time. It’s also summer time.

Ben walks over to the kitchen island to the diaper bag and looks inside, “do you think we need a change of clothes for her?”

Gwil puts the blanket on top of the diaper bag before cupping Ben’s face in both his hands, “bach, we have everything.” He kisses Ben softly.

Ben sighs, “I know. I just…” Ben rests his head against Gwil’s chest, “I want her to be happy here.”

Gwil wraps his arms around Ben, “she will be.” Gwil kisses the top of his head, “is there anything else you are nervous about?”

Ben mumbles against Gwil, “I’ve never…” The mumbles turn incoherent.

Gwil laughs, “I didn’t quite catch that.”

Ben pulls back and looks up at Gwil, “I’ve never changed a diaper.”

Gwil kisses his forehead, “I’ll show you a few times. Anything else?”

“Not right now.” Ben smiles a little.

Gwil grins, “I’m nervous too. But there’s two of us. One of her. We should be fine.” Gwil pulls back from him, picks up the diaper bag, and heads for the door.

  
Ben scratches the back of his head, “we can do this.” He follows behind Gwil.

Gwil looks over his shoulder, “was that a question?” 

Ben sighs, “no. we’ve both held her and fed her. It will be alright.”

Gwil smiles, “and she falls asleep for you already.” They visited Enfys at the hospital the day after she was born for most of the day. Ava had offered if they wanted to come by and feed her or hold her so Enfys got used to them, they were more than welcome. Gwil didn’t want to make Ben go over to Ava’s. They had only been awake for a couple hours when Ben asked if they could go over. Enfys was fussing one afternoon while they were there. Enfys had been fed, had a clean diaper, and they couldn’t figure out what she wanted. Ben held her to try and calm her after Gwil and Ava failed. Enfys was asleep after about two minutes in Ben’s arms.

Ben scrunches his nose, “that was once.”

  
Gwil shrugs, “once more than me.”

Ben smiles, “thanks. Let’s go.” He pats Gwil’s shoulder, “walk faster. I miss her.”

  
Gwil laughs as he shakes his head, “alright, alright, I miss her too.”

++++++++

Ben held open the door for Gwil. Gwil carried Enfys in the top part of her car seat in slowly, careful not to hit any part of the door frame. He walked into the kitchen, set it on the counter, and unbuckled her. Gwil made sure to support her head as he lifted her. Ben stood right next to Gwil, watching. 

Gwil smiles down at his daughter as he shifted her against his chest, “welcome home, Enfys. We’ve got your room all ready. Do you need to eat?” 

Ben leans down to smell by her little bottom, “diaper smells clean.”

Gwil smiles at him, “shall we just relax then?” Gwil walks over to the sofa and sits down, keeping his eyes on Enfys as much as possible.

Ben sits down next to Gwil with his arm behind him. He lifts a hand to rub Enfys’ foot. He looks up at Gwil, “want me to turn the tv on?”

Gwil slowly looks over at Ben, “I’m okay. You can if you want.” 

Ben laughs lightly, “we’re just going to watch her the rest of the day, aren’t we?”

Gwil grins, “probably.”

Ben kisses Gwil’s cheek, “sounds great.” He looks down at Enfys, “you’re more interesting than anything on tv.” He wiggles her foot a tiny bit. “Cuter, too”

Gwil leans into Ben. He smiles softly at him, “I love you.”

Ben looks up at him, “I love you, too.” 

++++++++

  
  


Ben wakes up suddenly. He sits up to listen for crying. He doesn’t hear anything. It feels like he was asleep for too long for Enfys not to be needing anything. He looks over at Gwil peacefully asleep next to him. He smiles and crawls out of bed. He walks across the hall to see if Enfys is awake. 

  
He peaks over the edge of the crib. There’s enough light from the window that he can see her eyes are open. He smiles wide, “hello, sweetheart. What are you doing awake?” He puts a finger by her mouth, “Are you hungry?” 

Enfys starts trying to suckle at his finger.

Ben picks her up, “let’s go get you a bottle.” Ben takes her downstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible on the stairs so he doesn’t wake Gwil up. They’ve been taking turns feeding her. It was technically Gwil’s turn, but Ben’s already awake. He also likes it. He likes watching the little faces she makes. 

Ben is able to get the bottle ready before Enfys starts crying. He walks her back upstairs so he can put her in her crib when she starts getting sleepy again. He sits down in the rocking chair while he feeds her. 

After she’s been fed and burped, Ben sets her on his legs while he slowly rocks. Her eyes are wide open. He doesn’t think she’ll fall back asleep like she does sometimes. 

“You’re just wide awake little girl.” He softly rubs his thumb over her cheek, “do you want a bedtime story?” 

Ben thinks for a moment. He chuckles and smiles, “Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince named Gwilym Lee.”

Unbeknownst to Ben, Gwil is awake and standing outside the door, listening. He puts his fingers against his mouth so he doesn’t laugh at Ben calling him a handsome prince.”

Ben continues, “he wasn’t really a prince, but he definitely looks like he could play a Disney prince. The prince decided to go to the club, a ball of sorts. He was celebrating the betrothal of a friend. The prince saw a man across the ball. They locked eyes and the man beckoned the prince over. They danced and shared a kiss before they parted with the promise to meet again.”

Gwil smiles wide at the memory and the very G rated version Ben is telling.

“THEN,” Ben says enthusiastically, “the prince was picked to play a rock god in a band called Queen. Very fitting for our story. It was there that the prince was surprised to find the dashing man again. The man’s name was Ben Jones.”

Ben smiles at Enfys. He likes his name of Ben Lee-Jones better. “They fell in love very quickly but pretended they just enjoyed kissed each other. But then they kissed so much they had to tell each other how they felt. They immediately got married.”

Ben opens his mouth wide when Enfys yawns, “THEN! There was an evil witch named Molly and another character that, frankly, we are still deciding what we think about her now, and they tried to break up the happily married couple. The couple was kept apart for a bit but as soon as they saw each other, everything was right again.

“Just when things were getting good, they became perfect. They were blessed with the best daughter in the world. Her name is Enfys Carys Lee. And you know what? That’s you.” Ben leans down and kisses Enfys. 

Gwil steps into the room, “things are rather perfect.”

Ben looks up at him, “how long have you been there?”

Gwil shrugs, “long enough to hear the whole child friendly version of our love story.” Gwil leans down and kisses Ben, “Enfys is very lucky to have you as one of her fathers.”

Ben grins, “I wouldn’t trade this for anything.” 

Gwil smiles wide, “good.” He kisses Ben again, “do you want me to take her so you can go back to bed?”

Ben looks down at Enfys, “I think she’s good to go back in her crib.”

Gwil looks at Enfys, who yawns again. Gwil laughs, “that’s a pretty good sign.” He slowly lifts her off Ben’s legs and puts her in the crib. 

Ben curls his arms around one of Gwil’s arms, leans against him, and joins him just looking at their daughter.

Ben rests his head on Gwil’s shoulder, “should we go to bed?”

Gwil kisses the top of Ben’s head, “I’m going to stay till she’s asleep. I’ll be in after.”

Ben holds Gwil’s arm tighter, “I’ll stay, too.”

Gwil smiles and rests his cheek on the top of Ben’s head, “I can’t stop looking at her.”

Ben smiles, “she is hard to look away from.”

Gwil shifts and kisses Ben’s temple, “she gets that from her papa.”

Ben playfully rolls his eyes, smiling, “I’d argue she gets it from her tad. He is a handsome prince after all.”

Gwil chuckles, “whatever you say.”

They stay and watch Enfys until her eyes stay closed for a few minutes. Ben slides his fingers into Gwil’s and leads him back to their room. Gwil smiles softly as they go to get a few hours of sleep before Enfys needs them again.

+++++++++

Gwil wipes some formula from Enfys’ mouth. He shifts her to his shoulder and rubs her back. She burps and he moves her back to his arms so he can look at her face. She starts to cry.

“Oh, love! What’s wrong?” Gwil moves her back to shoulder, “please don’t cry. Do you need a new diaper?” Gwil checks, “no. Do you need more food?” Gwil stands up. He doesn’t want Ben to wake up. He’s probably just fallen back asleep after Enfys’ crying for food woke them up. As soon as Gwil is standing, Enfys stops crying. Gwil waits a moment and sits back down. The crying starts back up. He stands again and she stops. 

Gwil moves her back to his arms, “do you just like it when I’m standing?” 

Enfys just looks back at him.

Gwil smiles, “we can stand then.” He looks around the room. He starts walking with her. He opens the curtains, “it’s still very dark out. The sun should be up soon though.” Gwil walks out into the hall and to his and Ben’s room.

Gwil whispers, “papa is still sleeping.” 

Ben is laying with his arm out over Gwil’s side of the bed.

Gwil smiles and whispers to Enfys again, “I agree. He’s perfect.”

Gwil walks down the stairs to the second floor. He goes into the bedroom at the front of the house, “this may be your room when you’re older. You can also have the other bedroom if you prefer. Right now, it’s for when grandparents come to see you. In a few weeks you’ll meet our friends Joe and Rami. I’ll make sure whichever one of them stays in here doesn’t make a mess. They’ll keep it nice for you. When you’re old enough, we’ll redecorate it in whatever your favorite colors are.”

Gwil goes into the other bedroom, “this might be your future siblings room. Your papa and I have talked about having another kid. Would you like a sibling? Or do you want to be an only child?” He looks down at her, “you’ll be spoiled either way.”

Gwil kisses her forehead, “let’s go downstairs.”

Gwil tries to sit when they get to the living room but Enfys starts crying again. Gwil sighs and smiles, “let’s go see the garden then.” Gwil picks up one of Enfys’ baby blankets and tucks it around her.

Gwil really hopes none of the neighbors look outside. He never actually put any clothes on before he went in to feed Enfys. He’s in just his boxers. He hopes any parents that may see him would understand. 

“This is the garden. We’re still working on it. We may add some plant boxes next week. I think over in that corner we’ll put a little play house for you when you’re older.” 

Gwil looks down at Enfys. He can hardly think of a time without her in his life. It’s similar to how he thinks of the period of his life before he and Ben were together. Everything just seems so much more significant with them. He loves both of them so much, it overwhelms him. Gwil sighs, “I miss you when you’re not here. I even miss you while you’re sleeping. I’ll try and explain everything when you can understand. I hope you understand it. I hope I’m a good parent and you enjoy coming over here. I want your life to be wonderful. Full of happiness and love. I think Ben and I can give that to you. Ben and I love each other and we both love you. It seems like a good start.” Gwil smiles, “even if you don’t seem to like it when I sit down.”

Gwil jumps when he hears someone behind him. 

Ben puts a blanket over Gwil’s shoulders, “so that’s why you’re out here. I went to her nursery and saw you from the window.”

Gwil nods, “she cried whenever I sat.”

Ben gets under the blanket with Gwil while hugging his waist, “we can’t have that.” 

Gwil grins, “of course not.” Gwil leans down and kisses Ben.

Ben smiles against Gwil’s mouth. He pulls back, “I heard you talking to her. I love you.”

Gwil smiles, “I love you, too.”

Ben smiles at Enfys, “I totally understand. I like your tad’s height too.”

Gwil scoffs.

Ben laughs lightly, “it may be for different reasons.”

Gwil shakes his head, “let’s go try and put her to sleep again. Maybe she’ll do it for you.”

Ben smiles, “should I be offended she’s fine with me letting go of her?”

“Not at all. You just make her comfortable and relaxed enough to sleep.” 

Ben smiles, “I hope so.”

They take Enfys back upstairs. Gwil passes Enfys to Ben to hold for a bit. Ben rocks back and forth slowly till Enfys starts closing her eyes. Ben places her gently in the crib. They both watch until she falls asleep.

++++++++

Gwil kisses Ben’s cheek as he sleeps. He doesn’t want Ben to get suspicious of where he’s going so it worked out well that Ben is sleeping in late. He sneaks down to the kitchen. He writes a quick note saying he’s running an errand, debating for a moment between leaving it on the counter and leaving it on a can of Coke Zero. He decides on the counter just in case Ben isn’t thirsty first thing. 

They had a lovely first week with Enfys. One of Gwil’s favorite moments may have been when he woke up in the middle of the night alone. He went into Enfys’ room to find it also empty. He found Ben on the sofa, mostly asleep, listening to his headphones as Enfys slept on his chest. Gwil thinks it may have been the sexiest Ben’s ever looked.

Ben had woken up to go to the bathroom. He went to check on Enfys. She was awake in her crib. He took her downstairs to feed her before she cried about being hungry. After she ate, she fell back asleep on Ben and he didn’t want to risk waking her. That moment is probably tied with listening to Ben tell her the story of how they came to be a family.

Gwil’s been worried about something Ben said the day Enfys was born. Ben has explained a few times that he just didn’t want to keep Gwil from Enfys, but Gwil was horrified that Ben would think that he could leave him at all. He knows that it's his own fault because of everything that happened last winter. He knows that they still have things to work on but he thought of one gesture that may help.

++++++++

Gwil feels like a creep waiting outside the store doors for it to open. This is amplified when the man unlocking the doors gives him a look. He sees some cute baby clothes on his way into the store. He makes a mental note to check them out before he leaves.

He gives the woman behind the counter a polite smile. He rests his hands on the edge of the display case and looks over the selection of rings. 

The woman approaches from the other side, “oh, your ring is from here.”

Gwil smiles, “yeah, my husband bought it while I was stuck looking at flatware.”

She laughs then her brow furrows, “it’s not really any of my business, but is he a good looking blond who gave you the ring when you were already married? Sometime in the last couple months.”

Gwil smiles wide, “that sounds like my Ben.”

Her eyes light up, “I sold it to him. He looked so happy to see the ring. It was very sweet.”

Gwil blushes a bit, “I like hearing that.” He looks down at the rings then back up, “do you have anything that might complement mine?” 

Nora looks over the rings. Then suddenly smiles and looks up at Gwil, “we actually have some new ones not out yet.” She turns around and unlocks a cabinet behind the counter. She pulls out a small box and opens it for Gwil, “you have the infinity band. This is from the same designer. It’s called the infinity cigar band.” 

Gwil gasps and covers his mouth for a second. He smiles as he pulls his hand down, “did you say cigar band?”

Nora gives him a curious look, “yes?”

Gwil picks up the ring. He would like it even if it didn’t have the perfect name. He can tell Nora wants to know the story and he can’t help sharing. He doesn’t know when he’ll give it to Ben and needs someone else to know. Gwil clears his throat, “when I proposed, it wasn’t planned. I used the band from a cigar.” 

Nora nods, “yeah. You need this one.” She smiles, “it seems perfect.”

Gwil smiles, “it does.”

Gwil goes home to find Ben on the sofa again, only without Enfys sleeping on him. 

Ben looks over his shoulder as Gwil comes in the front door, “hey, baby.”

Gwil bends over and kisses him, “hi husband.” Gwil kisses him again, cupping his face with one hand. 

Ben smiles when they break apart, “I guess that kiss makes up for waking up without you.” Gwil playfull rolls his eyes. Ben tries to look in the bag, “what did you get?”

Gwil pulls out a little romper with rainbows all over it, “I couldn’t help myself.” 

Ben smiles wide, “we can add it to her collection. I have a load of her stuff to wash if you want to add it to the basket.”

Gwil walks around the sofa and sits down, “I got something else first.”

Ben turns to the side facing him, “did you get rainbow shoes because I already bought some online this morning.”

Gwil chuckles, “no. I didn’t.” He reaches into the bag and pulls out a small black box. He takes a deep breath, “I thought about giving you this with more pomp and circumstance but I don’t want to delay it. Eighteen months seems like a long enough wait.”

He pulls the ring out of its box. He smiles when he sees how bright Ben’s eyes look as he watches. “I love you, Ben. I’ve fallen more in love with you even more seeing you as a father. It feels like a deeper, more solid love than before. I wouldn’t trade our life for anything.” He twists the ring between his fingers, “it’s called the infinity cigar band. It seemed like a perfect upgrade to the first one I put on your finger.”

Ben smiles and holds out his hand, “it looks kind of like yours.”

Gwil slides the ring on Ben’s finger, “it’s made by the same designer.”

Ben shifts so he’s straddling Gwil. He puts his arms over Gwil’s shoulders and Gwil rests his hands on his hips, “are you going to tell me our love is going to last for infinity?”

Gwil rubs over Ben’s back, pulling him in closer, “I wasn’t going to.” He smiles, “it’s not a false statement though.”

Ben smiles and leans in like he’s going to kiss Gwil, but he hovers right over his mouth, “do we have lube down here?”

Gwil nods, “there should still be some in the decorative box.” He holds Ben tight against him so he can move and pick up the small box on the coffee table. He pops off the lid and takes out the small bottle of lube before sitting back on the sofa, “I had to stop your dad from opening the box when they were here.”

Ben shakes his head, “don’t talk about our parents right now.”

Gwil chuckles, “yes, dear.” He pushes up to catch Ben’s lips.

  
  


+++++++++

  
  


Ben hears a car door shut right outside their house. He looks over at Gwil, “brace yourself.”

Gwil smiles as he puts his book down on the end table and stands to walk to the door with Ben. Joe and Rami are coming to visit them. They said Ben and Gwil didn’t need to come pick them up at the airport since it would be hard with a month old child. Gwil quickly pulls the door open before Joe can knock. 

Joe jumps into the house with a manic look on his face, “GIVE ME THAT BABY!”

“SHHH!!” Ben holds his finger up to his mouth.

Gwil points upstairs, “she’s sleeping.”

Joe sighs and rolls his eyes, “fine.” He gives Ben and Gwil half hearted hugs. 

Rami calmly steps into the house. He talks quietly, “hi.” He gives Ben and Gwil each a hug and kiss on the cheek. 

Gwil smiles as he takes their bags, “welcome to our house.” Gwil leaves their bags at the bottom of the stairs for now. He’ll take them upstairs once Enfys is awake.

Rami looks around, “I like it. There’s a lot of light for the ground floor.” He looks at Joe, who is helping himself to a drink from the fridge. Rami scoffs, “really Joe?”

Joe shrugs, “they were probably going to offer.”

Gwil nods, “we were.” He grins at Rami, “do you want something? Coffee, Tea, alcohol, or perhaps Ben will share some of his Coke Zero.”

Joe opens his can and takes a sip, “it’s very refreshing.” He sits down on one at the kitchen island.

Rami shakes his head fondly at Joe, “I’ll take tea but only if someone else wants some too.

Ben takes the can from Joe, “Joe likes tea. Maybe he’ll take one.”

Joe tries to take the can away from Ben. Ban laughs when Joe almost falls off the stool trying to reach for it before Ben gives it back. Joe glares at Ben, “I do like tea. I’ll double fist it.”

Gwil laughs and gets out the kettle for the water. He puts it on the stove before turning around to his friends and husband, “so, how are things? We’ve…” Gwil looks at his feet. He sort of fell out of regular contact with everyone, including Rami and Joe, while he was apart from Ben. He knows from talking to Ben that he didn’t exactly have deep conversations with them during that time either. Gwil looks back up at them and clears his throat, “I haven’t been the greatest friend.”

Ben makes eye contact with Gwil. He doesn’t want Gwil to feel all of the burden of their sparse communication. He looks over to Joe and Rami, “neither have I. I kept stuff from you.”

Gwil nods, “me too. And got mad when you wouldn't share when that’s exactly what I was doing. I’m sorry.”

Joe leans over to Rami and stage whispers, “I think we’re at the wrong house. They are being open and honest about their feelings.”

Rami and Gwil laugh while Ben rolls his eyes. Ben sighs, “we’re both sorry. We were having some problems but that wasn’t your fault. I didn’t say anything so you weren’t in the middle.” There’s crying over the baby monitor. Ben looks at the clock, “she’s probably hungry.”

“Bach, you get her and I’ll make a bottle.” Gwil turns to start preparing a bottle for Enfys.

Joe bounces a little on his chair, “the baby is awake.” He grabs Rami’s shoulder and shakes it.

Rami laughs, “I know. I heard her crying.”

Ben comes down the stairs holding Enfys. He smiles at Gwil then looks down at Enfys, “now, you’re about to meet some good friends of ours. Joe’s a little chaotic but he means well. Don’t hold it against him.”

Joe frowns, “I...like you three never join in.”

Gwil holds the bottle out to Joe, “do you want to feed her?”

Joe lights up, “really?”

Gwil nods, “yeah. Unless Ben fights you for it.”

Ben furrows his brow like he’s thinking about it, “I guess. But sit on the sofa. I don’t want you to drop her.”

Joe scoffs, “I’ve held babies before. I am an uncle.”

“I’ve never seen it.” Ben winks at Rami, who’s obviously trying not to laugh.

Joe moves to sit on the sofa. Gwil puts a bump cloth over his shoulder and Ben gently puts Enfys in his arms. Gwil goes back to finish making tea for the adults. He makes Rami’s first and hands it to him. Rami doesn’t notice at first because he’s too busy watching Joe feed Enfys. Gwil taps Rami’s shoulder with the back of his hand holding the cup.

Rami looks at the cup, “sorry, thank you.”

Gwil grins, “you were a little distracted.”

Rami sighs fondly, “he just looks so sexy right now.” 

Gwil stares at Rami with his jaw hanging open.

Ben looks up from Enfys to Joe to watch his reaction. 

Joe looks at Rami, pops his chin and blows him a kiss.

Gwil crosses his arms over his chest, “what’s going on between you two?”

Rami smiles at him, slight mischievously, “you sound like such a dad. But you tell us what happened between you and Ben first. Like…” He points at Enfys, “you have a daughter with your ex? Ben was upset in December. Some details are missing.”

“Gwil didn’t cheat on me if that’s what you’re thinking.” Ben can tell he sounds defensive.

Rami holds up his hands, palms towards Ben, “I didn’t think he would.”

Gwil grins at Ben, “do you want to tell them how you told Enfys?”

Ben laughs despite himself, “should I edit it to say kissing like I did for her?” 

Gwil nods, “we can’t corrput them with the sexy bits.”

Joe looks between them, “I want to hear the sexy bits.”

Ben smirks at Joe, “you’re going to be so mad about the beginning.”

Joe starts to talk but stops. He tries to think why he would be mad. He opens his mouth again slowly, “why?”

Ben licks his lips, “remember when filming Borhap and we went out drinking, you asked about the last time we all had sex and then the last time I had touched a penis?”

Joe thinks for a minute, looking around at the other three. He slowly says, “yeah.”

Ben tries not to laugh, “I wasn’t lying when I said I met Gwil at a club and got in his pants.”

Joe’s eyes get huge.

Gwil cuts in before Joe can say anything, “we slept together for the first time the night you asked us that.”

Rami smirks, “so did Joe and I.”

Gwil is shocked. He looks at Ben who looks equally surprised.

Joe shrugs, “but not for the first time.”

Ben smacks Joe’s shoulder, “when was the first time?”

Joe turns away from Ben, “I’m holding your daughter.” Joe takes the now empty bottle away from Enfys’ mouth.

Gwil steps towards Joe, “I’ll take her. She likes being high up after she eats.” Gwil takes the cloth from Joe’s shoulder and then Enfys.

Rami sits down next to Joe. Joe immediately sits back with his arm behind Rami. 

Ben crosses his arms, “I think you need to explain first.”

Rami puts his hand on Joe’s knee, “I’ve loved Joe basically since I saw him.”

Gwil sways with Enfys, “that was a very long time ago.”

Joe kisses Rami’s cheek, “it was. We bonded quickly on that shoot. Then umm…” Joe squints, “let’s say bonded a few more times on and off over the years.”

Ben chuckles.

Rami smiles softly at Joe, “I’d been in New York a lot for Mr. Robot. We were starting to “bond” more seriously this time. I wanted to tell everyone.”

Joe sighs, “I didn’t. He was getting more famous and I didn’t want people to think I was riding his coattails. Especially after we both got cast in Borhap right as we decided to officially be together.”

Rami looks up at Gwil, “only our immediate family knows.”

Joe knocks Ben’s leg with his, “that means you can’t say anything.”

Ben knocks his leg back, “never. Are you always going to keep it a secret?”

Joe and Rami look at each other, silently, for a few moments. Rami smiles, “for now. It’s special. Everyone else would just mess it up.”

Ben and Gwil look at each other knowingly. 

“Explains a lot. As long as you’re both happy,” Gwil rubs Enfys’ back, “I’m happy for you both.”

“Me too.” Ben leans against Joe.

Gwil smiles at Rami, “you want to hold her?” Rami nods quickly, “you’re going to need to stand up.” 

Rami stands up and Gwil places Enfys in his arms. Rami smiles down at her, “she’s lovely. I’ve got a present for you in my bag, Enfys. It may not fit yet though.” Rami looks at Gwil, “her eyes look like yours.”

Joe smiles at Ben, “I think she looks like Ben.” 

Gwil grins, “lucky girl.”

Ben smiles and rolls his eyes. He leans against Joe again, “you’re really happy? Keeping it secret and all that” Joe nods. Ben smiles, “good.”

Joe leans in towards Ben, “don’t think you’re getting out of telling us about you guys.”

Ben smiles up at Gwil, “we were both idiots. Now we aren’t.”

Joe scoffs, “I need a few more details.”

Rami looks down at Enfys, “your dads are being secretive again.” Rami tries sitting down but Enfys starts to fuss.

Gwil smiles, “I can take her again if you want.”

“Is it that long of a story?” Rami looks from Gwil to Ben.

Ben nods after a moment, “if you want all the details, yes.”

Rami hands Enfys to Gwil and sits back down.

Gwil watches Enfys as Ben asks, “where do you want me to start?”

Joe smiles wide, “when you put your hand in Gwil’s pants the first time.”

Ben laughs, “Alright, then…”

++++++++

Rami pulls Gwil in for a tight hug, “thank you for having us.”

Gwil squeezes Rami tighter, “any time. We’ve got plenty of spaces.”

Ben smiles as he gives Joe a side hug. He’s holding Enfys, so it’s the best he can do, “yeah, especially since we know you share a room now” 

Joe laughs. He kisses Ben’s forehead then Enfys’, “we’ll see you again in a few weeks.” Joe makes an excited face at her, “your dads are getting married!” Joe smiles at Gwil, “she seems thrilled.”

Gwil laughs as he pulls Joe in for a hug, “good. I definitely am.”

Rami rolls his eyes, “you’ve been married for over a year.”

Gwil smiles at Ben, “I’ll marry him again any day.”

Ben blushes, “I would too.”

Joe grins, “well, I’m only flying over for the one.”

Ben scoffs, “such a good friend. I hope you treat Rami better.”

Rami smiles wide at Joe, “he does. Believe me, he does.”

Ben leans over to Gwil, talking low, “we should probably just toss the sheets on their bed.”

Gwil laughs, “I’ll use extra bleach.”

Rami puts his hand in Joe’s and pulls him towards the door, “let’s go, babe. Or we’ll just end up staying till the wedding.”

Rami and Joe give Enfys one more kiss before they leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very, very, very tempted to kill off Ava so Ben and Gwil could have Enfys all the time. It seemed too easy and not like real life. I had it all planned though. I hope this version is okay too.
> 
> I really did intend on including more of Joe and Rami initially. I may write their side some day. 
> 
> Ben’s got a ring!! Their rings are real and the names of them are real too! Ben had to have that ring when I saw it was called a cigar band and matched the one I picked for Gwil.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place end of August 2020

Ben sits in one of the two rooms designated as dressing rooms with Andy. He had thought that he and Gwil would probably get ready together but Ben’s mum was convinced it was bad luck. She also insisted they stay in different rooms last night. Ben thought it would be kind of fun to not see him until the ceremony. Ben was restless most of the night not having Gwil next to him. He’s excited now to celebrate their marriage with their friends and family but when he woke up without immediately seeing Gwil’s face, it just made him cranky.

He’s waiting till the last minute to put on his suit. He doesn’t want it to get wrinkled or stained accidentally. He and Andy are just waiting to get dressed. His brother is his other groomsman but he put his shirt and trousers on and went to socialize with other guests.

Andy smiles and looks over at Ben, “are you nervous?”

Ben looks at him out of the corner of his eye, “to marry my husband?” Andy nods. Ben deadpans, “no.”

Andy chuckles, “even saying vows in front of everyone?”

Ben takes a deep breath, “I’m not nervous about that. But not really excited by sharing my feelings in front of everyone either. Gwil deserves to hear though. The only thing I’m really nervous about is if our families can act like normal humans around Brian and Roger.”

As if on cue, Michael Jones quickly comes into the room. He leans against the door, eyes wide, “Roger Taylor and Brian May are here.”

Ben looks at Andy knowingly while Andy tries not to laugh.

Michael steps away from the door, “I know you’re used to them but it was very surreal seeing my niece being held by Brian May.”

Andy looks at Ben, “do you think Enfys thinks he’s Gwil?”

Ben laughs, “maybe the height but they don’t look alike when Gwil’s not in the wig.” 

Michael pops his collar and takes his tie from the hanger his suit is on, “Gwil is much better looking.”

Andy scoffs, “have you seen Brian in the 70s? I think you’re just distracted by Gwil’s modern haircut. I’m pretty sure Ben fell for Gwil because of 70s costumes.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “yes. That was the only reason. Not his kindness, or empathy, or any other personality trait. Just the Brian May wig.” 

Michael laughs, “you should say that in your vows.”

Andy narrows his eyes, “was he wearing the wig the first time…” Andy wiggles his eyebrows.

Ben starts to talk but Michael cuts him off, “I don’t want to know any details about that.”

Ben laughs, “we never did anything in our costumes.”

Michael sighs with relief, “good. I can still watch that movie.”

Ben laughs loudly.

Andy looks at his watch, “we should probably get ready.”

++++++++

Owain straightens his bowtie and assesses how he looks in the mirror. He grins and turns around to Gwil and Geraint, “I think I finally understand why you didn’t invite anyone to the first wedding.”

Gwil looks at Owain out of the corner of his eye. He can tell by the purse of Owain’s lips he’s about to give Gwil shit about something. Gwil tries just waiting for him to say something but Owain just starts smirking. Gwil laughs lightly and gives in, “why’s that?”

Owain smoothes back some of his hair, “because I look better in a suit than you.”

Gwil laughs loudly, “that’s exactly why.”

Geraint puts his jacket on, “it’s really a shame Gwilly will be the least good looking at his wedding.”

Gwil rolls his eyes at the nickname, “Ben was always going to look better than me so it wouldn’t have mattered who else was around.”

Geraint leans against the vanity, “are you going to be able to focus on your vows with that pretty face in front of you?”

Gwil laughs, “no. We’ve never actually had a conversation. I just look at him and get distracted.” Owain laughs. Gwil smiles at him and continues, “I’m hoping by our second honeymoon, that we’re taking our daughter on, we’ll be able to have a real good talk.”

Geraint starts walking towards the door.

Gwil furrows his brow and watches him, “where are you going?”

Geraint shrugs, “to tell Ben you’re only marrying him for his looks.” Geraint pauses with his hand on the knob, looking at Gwil. Gwil just continues getting ready, focused on trying to get his beard to lay flat. Geraint scoffs, “you aren’t going to stop me?”

Gwil shakes his head, “he won’t believe you so go ahead.”

Geraint sighs and sits down.

Gwil chuckles, “change your mind?”

“It’s not as fun if you don’t care.” Geraint pulls his shoes towards him to put them on.

Gwil laughs at his petulant expression.

Owain starts putting his own shoes on, “a honeymoon with a two month old doesn’t exactly sound romantic.”

Gwil, satisfied with how his hair is, steps away from the mirror, “spending a few days with the two people I love most in the world sounds romantic enough for me.” Gwil smiles, “we had a sexy trip already. I’m excited for it.”

Owain smiles wide, “okay, that is very sweet. If you need to sneak away for a quickie before the reception, let me know. I’ll run interference.”

Gwil laughs, “thanks. I’ll let you know.”

Owain smirks, “should we have a signal?”

Gwil chuckles, “what are you thinking?”

Geraint holds up his hands, makes a circle with one and puts the pointer finger of his other hand through the circle.

Gwil looks from Geraint to Owain. He keeps his face as smooth as possible, “yes. That will be it. No one will know what we’re getting up to then.”

His brothers both laugh loudly.

There’s a knock on the door before it cracks open. Rami, who’s serving as one of the ushers, pops his head in, “it’s time.”

Gwil takes a deep breath and smiles.

Geraint grips his shoulder, “you ready?”

Gwil nods.

Rami steps into the room and lifts his arms to Gwil. Gwil pulls him into a tight hug.

Gwil squeezes Rami tight before releasing him, “thank you for coming. And helping.”

Rami steps back in for another hug, “of course. Thanks for including me. Joe’s been trying to beat me at who can seat more guests.”

Gwil laughs loudly, “who’s winning?”

Rami pouts playfully, “Joe.” Rami laughs, “but only because Ben’s grandma stopped me for 15 minutes to talk about how handsome Daniel Craig is.”

Geraint chimes in, “she’s not wrong.”

Gwil shrugs, “he is.”

Owain steps over to Gwil and straightens Gwil’s bowtie, “now you’re perfect. Let’s go marry you off again.”

  
  


++++++++

Gwil smiles wide when he sees his parents. He kisses his mam’s cheek and hugs his tac, “you both look great.”

Tom puts his arm around Gwil as Ceiwen pins his boutineer, “you look very handsome and happy.”

Gwil nods, “I am.” Gwi laughs, “happy that is. I wasn’t trying to say I look handsome.”

Ceiwen pats his cheek, “well, you do. So does Ben.”

Gwil tries to look around, “you’ve seen him?”

Ceiwen smiles, “we have. He seems very excited.”

Rhiannon walks into the room where they are waiting to walk down the aisle.

Gwil slightly panics, “where’s Enfys?”

She holds up both her hands, “stay calm. She’s fine. She started crying when I tried taking her back from Brian May. She was falling asleep in his arms when I left.”

Gwil relaxes. He knows Brian has had plenty of experience with kids. He sighs, “okay.”

Rhiannon smiles, “he was telling her about how rainbows form when I left.”

Gwil grins, “I love that. She’ll be a physic genius by the end of the ceremony.”

Rhiannon gives Gwil a hug, “I love you little brother.”

Gwil kisses the top of her head, “love you, too.”

Rami holds his elbow out for her, “can I show you to your seat?”

Rhiannon hooks her arm through Rami’s, “thanks.” She looks over her shoulder at Gwil, “if you’re tempted to run, don’t!”

Gwil snorts and rolls his eyes. 

Geraint and Owain stand by the door, waiting for the wedding planner to give them their cue. Ceiwen and Tom stand on either side of Gwil. 

Ceiwen looks up at Gwil, “if you are tempted to run, we are keeping Ben this time.”

Gwil opens his mouth to defend himself. He did sort of run away from Ben before. He could never do that now. He changes what he was going to say, “if I were ever to leave Ben again, I would deserve that.” 

Ceiwen smiles, “I was teasing, but yes.”

Gwil chuckles and kisses his mam’s cheek. He looks over to his tad, “I’m so happy we are getting a chance to do this. Not just marrying Ben again. Having both of you here, walking be down the aisle.” He looks back to his mam, “it really means a lot to me that you’re both here by my side.”

Ceiwen sniffles, “don’t make me cry before the ceremony.” Gwil laughs lightly.

Tom holds his elbow out for Gwil when they hear the music change, “I’ll happily be at any more weddings you have, as long as they are to Ben.”

Gwil grins, “thanks. I don’t think we plan on having anymore but I do know I won’t have any with anyone else.” He leans against his tad, “you’re kind of stealing my vows.” 

The wedding planner opens the doors.

Gwil takes a big step forward.

Ceiwen laughs, “my legs are shorter than yours, don’t rush please.”

Gwil makes a face, “sorry, I’m excited.”

Ceiwen smiles and pats Gwil’s arm, “I know.”

Gwil walks down the aisle with his parents, trying to walk slow. He sees a shape off to the left of the chairs. He sees Brian standing with Enfys in his arms. Brian lifts one of her hands and waves it at Gwil. Gwil smiles and gives a small wave back. Brian starts making happy faces down at Enfys. Gwil tears his eyes away from them so he can watch where he’s going. He doesn’t think his parents would let him run into anything but he looks forward anyways. He sees Joe and Rami sitting behind Ben’s extended family. They both have huge grins. 

At the end of the aisle, Gwil’s parents both give him a hug before they take their seats. Gwil stands next to his brothers. He nods his head quickly at the officiant. She smiles back. It was Ben’s idea to ask the judge that married them the first time. She seemed hesitant at first because she doesn’t usually do ceremonies. Ben told her it would be more like an extension of their first wedding that their family could be included in if she did it. After that, she quickly agreed.

Gwil’s excitement grows when the music changes again. Michael and Andy come through the doors. Andy winks at Gwil, making him chuckle before he takes his place. The doors are closed again. Owain claps Gwil’s shoulder. Gwil looks back at him and smiles. Gwil takes a deep breath as he watches the doors open for Ben. 

Gwil’s eyes fill with tears as soon as he sees Ben. His cheeks hurt from how wide he’s smiling. Ben’s smile back is just as wide. Even though they are in a room full of people this time, Ben is the only person Gwil can focus on. His brain seems to filter everyone else out. Gwil does slightly register Ben’s parents giving him hugs before they sit down. As soon as Ben is close enough, Gwil steps forward and cups Ben’s face, pulling him into a kiss. 

Ben makes a quick surprised noise before kissing Gwil back. He blushes slightly when he hears everyone giggling as they break again. 

Gwil looks at the judge guiltily, “sorry.”

She laughs, “do we just want to call it then? Or do you still want to do the vows?”

Gwil looks at Ben. At the same time, they say, “vows.”

“Very well,” she smiles wide as Gwil and Ben step to their spots. “Clearly these two are excited to be married. They had that same excitement the first time I saw them. It was immediately evident to me how much they loved each other then. It’s even more evident now. When they came back to ask if I would perform this ceremony, they looked just as much in love, just as excited to be married. I have seen couples getting married where I just have a feeling they won’t last. I had the opposite feeling with Gwilym and Benjamin.” She smiles, “both times. Normally I would have a lot of legal declarations, but we’ve already done that. So let’s just move on to their romantic declarations. They are clearly eager to get to the kissing part.” She pauses as everyone laughs. She looks to Gwil, “Gwilym.”

Gwil turns to face Ben. He reaches his hands out for Ben’s. Ben quickly wipes a tear from his eye and puts both his hands in Gwil’s. Gwil takes a steadying breath. He can feel himself getting choked up before he ever starts, “Ben.” He quickly clears his throat, “Ben, the first time I saw you, I noticed your smile before anything else. It drew me in. I have been so lucky to see your smile so many times since then. I’ve been even luckier to be the one that makes you smile. We both know life won’t be perfect, but my best life is one with you in it, whatever is happening. Be it, raising our daughter together, navigating our strange careers, or just being in the same room doing anything and nothing. I’m ready for all of it, for the rest of our lives.” Gwil grins at Ben, “I’ll also happily marry you however many times you want.” Ben laughs lightly. Gwil really wants to kiss him again. 

The judge turns slightly to Ben, “Benjamin.”

Ben licks his lips, “Gwil, my loving, and lovely husband. At our first wedding, we talked about being ready to go through all the good and bad things in life together. We experienced some of those bad things earlier in our marriage than I expected. While I never wanted hurt for either of us, if I had the option to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change anything. It made us stronger and gave me even more confidence in our love and it’s ability to get us through anything. I hope there is more good than bad going forward, but we are ready for any of it. I love you and our family more everyday. And I'll also marry you again anytime you want.” Ben rocks forward. He wants to kiss Gwil so bad.

Ben doesn’t have to wait long. The judge smiles towards their guest, “I am happy to announce, for the second and possibly not the last time, Misters Gwilym and Benjamin Lee-Jones.” She looks between Gwil and Ben, “Now you may kiss...again.” 

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s waist, under his suit jacket. Gwil cups Ben’s face again. Their lips meet. Ben tightens his arms around Gwil as he presses his lips harder against Gwil’s. Gwil opens his mouth slowly. He gently sucks on Ben’s bottom lip. They start to break apart, but Ben leans back in to kiss Gwil again. Gwil smiles against Ben’s mouth. 

Andy pointedly coughs behind Ben. Gwil and Ben laugh as they move apart. Gwil slides his hand down Ben’s arm to his hand. Their fingers lock together. They walk hand in hand down the aisle, smiling wide as their family and friends smile back.

++++++++

  
  


The DJ picks up the microphone as the instrumental music he played while everyone was eating and mingling fades out, “we’d like to welcome the happy couple to the dance floor for their first dance.

Gwil stands up and holds his hand out for Ben to take. Ben smiles and lets Gwil lead him out to the dance floor. They’ve never actually danced to a slow song before. Thankfully at the rehearsal, Rhiannon had the foresight to ask who leads when they dance. Ben had suggested Gwil lead since he’s taller.

When they get out onto the floor, Gwil rests Ben’s hand on his shoulder before putting both of his on Ben’s hips. Ben steps in closer to Gwil. He rests his head against Gwil’s chest. Gwil smiles, closes his eyes, and rests his head against Ben’s. 

Ben smiles, “I love you.”

Gwil kisses Ben’s temple, “I love you, too.”

Ben nuzzles in, trying to get closer, “when you want to get married next?”

Gwil chuckles, “how about when Enfys, plus any other kids we have, are old enough to attend?”

Ben closes his eyes, “sounds perfect.” They slowly sway in a circle a few times before Ben lifts his head and looks up at Gwil, “when do you want to have another?”

Gwil smiles slowly, “whenever you’d like.”

Ben grins, “I’d like Enfys and them to be close in age. They can each have a built in friend. Maybe we should start looking into options when we get back from the honeymoon.”

Gwil raises his eyebrow, “so soon?”

Ben’s smile fades a little, “do you not want another soon?”

Gwil leans in to kiss Ben, “I’ll take another tomorrow. Or whenever it works out. I was just surprised you wanted to so soon.”

Ben shrugs, “whatever way we go could take a while.”

Gwil kisses Ben again, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Ben kisses Gwil. He pulls back and looks around, “speaking of kids, who has ours?” 

Gwil looks around too. It only takes a few seconds for him to spot her. He laughs when he sees her in Rami’s arms while Joe is feeding him cake. Gwil pats Ben’s hip, “Rami has her.”

Ben looks over and scoffs because right as he looks Joe holds up a piece of cake to Enfys’ mouth. He and Gwil both laugh when Enfys just stares up at him. 

Gwil looks back at Ben, “do you have a preference of surrogacy or adoption? I am good with either. If you want a child that’s biologically yours, I want that for you.”

Ben smiles at Gwil, “I used to think that mattered. Then I met Enfys. I don’t think I would love her anymore if she shared DNA with me. She’s my kid. Any kid I raised with you, I’d feel the same way about.”

“Good. She is your daughter.” Gwil kisses Ben. He hears someone yell, “get a room.” He recognises Geraint’s voice and makes a rude gesture at him as discreetly as possible. Gwil turns his attention back to Ben, “how about when we get back, we apply to adopt then?”

Ben nods quickly, “I’d love that.”

“It’s a plan then.” Gwil smiles and pulls Ben back against his chest.

The DJ invites everyone else to join them on the dance floor. Joe lifts Enfys from Rami’s arms and walks over to Ben and Gwil. He taps Gwil on the shoulder, “here’s your daughter. I need to dance with my boyfriend.”

Gwil steps back from Ben and holds out his arms for Joe to transfer Enfys into. 

Ben leans down and kisses her forehead, “hello, sweetheart. Would you like to dance with us?” Ben puts his hands on Gwil’s hips. He stands close enough so his chest is pressed against Gwil’s arm that is supporting Enfys. 

Gwil smiles and lets Ben lead the three of them in a dance. He looks between his daughter and his husband. He smiles a little smugly, thinking how right he was earlier when he said being with the two people he loves most in the world is pretty romantic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long. Thank you for sticking with it! I already have the last chapter started so I promise it won’t be another few weeks.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 13th 2026
> 
> Just a little fluffy epilogue.

Ben is in the kitchen, packing stuff up for the car. Gwil is upstairs getting the children dressed. They are going to a park to celebrate Enfys’ 6th birthday. Ben loves that she hasn’t been able to talk about anything else all week. She also insisted that everyone wear rainbows or rainbow colors to the party. They’ve tried not to push rainbow everything on her too much as she’s gotten older. They do both love that she has developed a love for them on her own. They were in the car a few days ago passing some businesses decorated for Pride Month. Enfys thought they were decorated for her birthday and he didn’t have the heart to correct her. It did make him feel a little guilty that Alis, their younger daughter, doesn’t have a month where people unknowingly decorate for her. Alis could have decorations based on Alice in Wonderland, but they specifically gave her the middle name Heulwen, meaning sunshine, to compliment Enfys.

He and Gwil were up late. He was gathering all the decorations and packing them in the car. Gwil was up late putting the finishing touches on Enfys’ rainbow cake. Ben moves Enfys’ steps from the counter and pulls the cake towards the edge of the counter. He notices there’s a piece of one of the clouds missing. There’s also a line that looks like a tiny finger dragged through the icing. Ben tries not to laugh. He knows exactly who the culprit is. 

Ben takes a deep breath to stop laughing to himself. He hears her singing upstairs so he calls out to her, “ENFYS!” He smiles when he hears tiny footsteps on the stairs. 

Enfys moves her stairs so she can jump into Ben’s arms, “hi papa.” She kisses his cheek.

Ben bites his lip when he sees her quickly glance towards the cake, looking guilty. He kisses her forehead, “do you know who ate a piece of your birthday cake?”

She turns slightly in his arms to look at the cake, “I think it was the cat..” She turns back to him and looks at him through her long eyelashes with innocent eyes that match Gwil’s.

Ben tucks his chin and looks at her, “sweetheart. How did the cat get the lid off the cake then back on?”

Enfys scrunches up her nose, “did you know it’s my birthday?”

Ben chuckles, “I did know that. That’s why tad made you a cake.” 

Enfys slowly smiles, “I ate a cloud. I needed breakfast.”

Ben laughs loudly, “we made you breakfast!”

Enfys buries her head in his neck, “I got hungry early. You were still asleep.”

Ben rubs her back, “there are healthy snacks. We got you those steps so you could reach them.”

Enfys leans back to look at Ben. She bats her eyelashes and speaks softly, “it’s my birthday.”

Ben sets her on the counter and pushes some of the hair out of her face, “Tad worked hard on your cake. I think he probably wanted people to see before there was a piece missing.”

Enfys pouts slightly, “sorry.”

Ben kisses her forehead, “it’s alright. I’m not mad. If you’re hungry and can’t find something you want, wake us up next time.”

Enfys nods, “I will.”

Gwil comes down the stairs with Alis on his hip. Ben smiles when he sees she’s wearing a shirt with a sun on it with her rainbow leggings. Gwil frowns a bit, “is everything alright down here?” 

Ben looks at Enfys.

Enfys turns to Gwil with her bottom lip sticking out, “I ate a piece of cake. I’m sorry tad.”

Gwil wants to be upset because the cake took him so long to make but he just can’t when she looks at him like that. He smiles, “thank you for apologizing. I’m not mad though.” Gwil whispers to Alis.

  
Alis smiles brightly, “happy birthday Vissy”

Enfys blushes, “thank you Alis.” She holds her arms out to Ben. Ben picks her up off the counter and sets her on the ground.

Gwil sets Alis down as well. He watches as Alis runs over to Enfys and gives her a hug. Gwil looks up at Ben, his heart swelling at the softness. 

Ben makes eye contact with him briefly before grabbing his phone to take a picture of the sweet moment between his daughters.

Gwil walks over to the counter to look at the cake, stopping to quickly give Ben a kiss. He opens the container. A puff of one of the clouds is missing. He saved some of the pieces of cake he shaved off to form it. He thinks he can quickly fix the cloud. He’s getting some frosting out when he feels tiny arms around his leg. He smiles down at Enfys.

She looks up at him, “can I help?”

Gwil places her on the counter. Alis comes over and holds up her arms. Gwil smiles and puts her on the other side of the cake. He puts his hands on his hips, “do you both want to help or do you want little pieces of cake?”

Enfys shrieks while Alis bounces and claps her hands. Alis excitedly says, “caaaaaaake.” 

Gwil chuckles and gives them both a chunk of cake he won’t need. He gets some of the frosting out of the fridge. He uses a little bit of frosting to get the extra cake to stick to where Enfys took a piece. He doesn’t think they have enough time to get the frosting as smooth as he wants it to be. He looks in the cabinet. They thankfully have some mini marshmallows. 

Gwil smiles at his daughters, “would you like to help me put marshmallows on the cake?”

Enfys gives him a goofy smile, “it’s all I have ever wanted.”

Gwil laughs, “good.”

Ben mumbles, “maybe we should return her presents.” Gwil gives him a look. Ben laughs, “I was kidding.”

“Good.” Gwil opens the marshmallows, grabs one, and holds it in front of Ben’s mouth. 

Ben chuckles and sticks out his tongue. Gwil puts the marshmallow on it. Ben pulls his tongue back in and grins at Gwil. 

Gwil laughs when Alis sticks her tongue out, “do you want one too?” Alis nods. “Alright, then.” He puts one on her tongue. She smiles at him as she chews it.

Gwil shows them how to dip the marshmallows in the frosting then stick them to the cloud part of the cake. The girls eat about every third one. Since they will probably have too much sugar today already, he doesn’t say anything about it. Enfys keeps holding out marshmallows for him to eat and since Alis is closer to Ben, she’s feeding him the occasional one.

Enfys claps when they are done, “it’s perfect. Thank you, tad.”

“You’re very welcome.” Gwil leans over to kiss the top of Enfys’ head. “Happy birthday, love.”

Ben looks at the clock, “we should probably go.” He steps over and helps Alis off the counter.

Enfys kicks her heels against the counter, “can I ride on your shoulders, tad?”

“I’ll give you one at the park. You’re getting too big for it inside the house.” Gwil likes that she likes him carrying her or giving her rides all the time.

Ben leans over and mock-whispers to Alis, “do you think you can put your shoes on faster than me?”

Alis giggles, nods, and runs over to the basket by the door. Ben takes tiny steps right behind her while he pumps his arms like he’s running as fast as he can. Ben sits on the ground next to her. Alis has the advantage of her shoes being velco so she does beat Ben, who has to tie his laces. 

Alis proudly smiles at Ben, “I beat you, papa.”

“You did!” Ben puts hands on her waist and kisses her cheek, “you’re so fast.”

Alis wraps her arms around Ben’s neck, “I’m sunshine fast.”

Ben hugs her against him, “you are my fast little ray of sunshine.” Just like Brian had once explained rainbows to Enfys, he told Alis all about the sun when he came over for dinner one weekend. Her main takeaway was that rays of sunshine are fast. Since then, she’s said she’s sunshine fast. 

Gwil and Enfys put their shoes on at a normal pace. Gwil puts his hand on the door knob, “everyone grab a hand.” The street is very close to their front door. The girls tend to want to run quickly to the car. Once he has Enfys’ hand and Ben has Alis’, they leave for the park.

++++++++

Gwil smiles as they drive up to the park. He can see Andy at the table by the playground. He has a giant bundle of balloons attached to the table. Gwil wonders how he got them there. The second Ben opens the back car door, both girls leap out and run towards Andy. 

Andy kneels down and holds his arms out, “my girls!” Enfys and Alis both jump at him, almost knocking him over. Andy hugs them both tight. He cups the back of Enfys’ head, “happy birthday!”

“Thank you!” Enfys steps back, “you wore rainbow colors.”

Andy smiles, “of course I did! My best girl requested it.” He looks over at Alis, “one of my best girls.”

Gwil carefully puts the cake on the table. He grins over at Andy, “did you have purple shorts or did you buy those specifically for this?”

Andy smiles, “everyone needs purple shorts.”

Ben puts the cooler of drinks next to the table. Alis tugs on his arm. Ben looks down and smiles, “hi.” He bends down and picks her up. 

She rests her head on his shoulder, “may I please have a juice box?”

Ben kisses her cheek, “of course. You asked so nicely.” Ben holds her tightly on his hip and bends over to get two. He hands one to Alis and offers the other to Enfys.

Enfys starts to open it but stops suddenly. He turns to Gwil, “tad, can I sit on your shoulders till my friends get here?”

Gwil chuckles, “of course.” He puts her juice on the table, lifts her onto his shoulders, then hands her the juice.” 

Enfys giggles, “I’m so tall.”

Gwil laughs, “yes you are love.” 

Enfys squeezes the juice box a little too hard and juice falls onto Gwil’s head. Enfys laughs loudly and pushes the juice off, “sorry, tad.”

Gwil shakes his head, “it’s alright.” 

They stand there chatting for a bit before other kids and their parents start showing up. Enfys said she just wanted to play at the park with her friends so that’s the basic plan. They plan to let the kids play for a while before feeding them cake. They don’t want to make a lot of trash so they’ll open any presents at home later. They also have some snacks for the adults and kids. 

Ben has been chatting with some of the parents for a bit, watching the kids play, when he turns around and sees Andy sitting at the table. Ben walks over, “you okay?”

Andy puts his phone down, “just responding to a text. Getting a drink.” He shakes his water bottle. 

Ben leans against the table, “you should get yourself one of these.” He gestures to the kids, “then you won’t be sneaking off to text.”

Andy chuckles, “I’m good. I’ll stick with hanging out with yours. I can give them back when I want to go to the pub.”

Ben laughs, “fair.” Ben startles when he feels hands on his hips. 

Gwil was watching the girls plays and realized Ben wasn’t next to him anymore. He asked another parent to keep an eye on the girls so he could come see Ben. He leans down and kisses Ben’s neck. He keeps his lips against Ben’s neck for a moment. He hums, “I love you, husband.”

Ben smiles wide, “I love you, too baby.” 

Gwil rests his chin on Ben’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist, “what are we doing tonight?”

Andy narrows his eyes, “I think I may be watching the girls. Or are you going to sneak away for a quickie?”

Ben laughs, “we can have a quickie, or not quickie, after they go to bed.” Ben rests his head against Gwil’s, “to answer your question, Joe, Rami, and Joey are facetiming at 7 while Enfys opens the gift from Joey. You also promised Enfys pizza, remember?”

Gwil smiles, “I remember you promising to let her watch Borhap.”

Ben shrugs, “she likes watching us. It’s her birthday.” Ben twists and kisses Gwil, “it sounds like a good night to me.” Ben maybe would pick a different movie to watch, but he wouldn’t pick anything over spending the evening with Gwil, Enfys, and Alis.

Gwil never would have guessed they’d end up here when he met Ben, but is so thankful they did. Gwil cups Ben’s face. He places a soft kiss on his lips, “sounds perfect.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s all ☀️ and 🌈s 
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading! It really means a lot to me


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